5
The Captain looked at the man sitting calmly at the table, the dried blood and bruised face betraying nothing to him.
"So. You did this?" he asked.
"No" Ianto replied, "I think you will find this was an immediate response from the Agency."
Silence.
"You know, the Elite Torchwood Agency? Who really get pissed when one of their highly decorated and revered members gets treated like a common thug?" Ianto smiled, "Or maybe it's just that Yvonne is so fond of wee Caden that the thought of her Godson injured has driven her a little bit insane. Funny one, that Yvonne. Prone to fits of rage, did you know that? Yeah. Fierce beastie when riled."
Silence.
"Or, the fact the second number my message was sent to was direct to the Torchwood Mainframe? She likes me and is a bit protective of her assets too, or…now here is the real kicker. The third receiver works in the bowels of the Agency and has her fingers on every pie so she might have control of the facility now. The fourth was my grandfather, the 'Old Man' as you called him. But the final one? Ahhhhh, the bum biter. Hah. You see I also sent that message to my Husband. Captain Jack Harkness-Jones. I think he will be slightly enraged when he sees my face, even before he learns his only son was in my arms. Well, yeah. Enraged. Incensed? Homicidal? Hmmmm. I know. Let's say …. He will be fatal."
Ianto now had the man's rapt attention as he leaned forward to meet him, their faces close enough for the man to see those tiny flecks of green in Ianto's eyes, "I am First Lieutenant Ianto Harkness-Jones. Retired Elite Forces Ghost and Agency Cleaner Agent. Code name Wolf."
The captain hadn't taken a breath since Ianto's purr had started and now it was a deep shuddering one as he finally got how deep the level of shit was, even if his colleagues didn't and he blinked as he started at the monster before him.
"I have so many authorised kills that I don't even need to mention those pesky little unauthorised ones, do I?" Ianto canted his head, the grin now unnerving, "Now bring me my son before I lose my shit and tear the door off its hinges to go searching for him. Believe me, I can kill as many of you as I like while doing so and be justified. We both know the law here, I am exempt. Diplomatic Immunity! Right? Get. Me. My. Son."
The Captain exploded for the chair, flying back to hit the wall and stare at the madman, then he left the room and Ianto folded back into the chair, shooting his cuffs as he listened to the shouting and chaos.
"You know, that high pitched sound in your ears is not good" he said as he plucked a trouser leg before crossing his knees, "That is a High Class Hoover Destroyer. That means my love has left the training grounds to fly here and is currently landing on the roof. You ever met someone who has her Majesty's ear? Well, you are about to if you are not careful and if I know anything about my GrandTad …. He will be screaming."
Brenda blinked as she slid her chair back.
The door opened and Captain Munch entered with a sobbing Caden, Ianto forgetting everything and everyone in that moment, rising to snatch him into his arms and he retreated to the bunk where he cuddled him and promised it was OK, "Daddy will come save us."
Caden burrowed into Ianto, his little body shaking with the effort of crying and Ianto's heart tore apart knowing he had been crying for him scared and alone.
Then the most wonderful thing he had ever heard wafted down the gall.
"IANTO!"
"Jack" Ianto slumped with relief as Jack entered the room, an elite team with him swarming in to raise their weapons at those still sitting at the table, Jack running for the bench.
"Oh Cariad" Ianto felt his emotions starting to constrict his throat and he swallowed to calm himself, "I was Tasered. I had Caden in my arms and I was shocked, I fell on him Cariad."
Jack pulled Ianto's jacket open enough to see his son's face and the black smudge on his cheek where he had hit the ground, then he rose and touched his ear, "Got them. Storm is injured."
Ianto didn't need to ask who that was as the agents all jumped at once and slapped their hands over an ear.
"Come on love" Jack said softly, "Let's get go home."
"I want the bastard that hit us hung drawn and quartered" Ianto pouted as he let Jack pull him to his feet, "No. No. I want him skinned alive in a sea of salt. Him and the one who fired the taser."
"Shhhh" Jack drew him into his arms and held him as he shook with rage and adrenalin, "I will kill them all. Do you want me to kill them all darling?"
Ianto sighed as he finally heard his insanity and he snorted into Jack's neck, pulling back to pout, "Can I at least have one castrated?"
"Awwwwwwww" Jack crooned, "My beloved. Of course, you name him, I will cut off his balls with a rusty piece of tin, just for you."
"Oh my hero" Ianto slumped again now placated and safe as Caden exchanged grips from his Taddy to his Daddy and he breathed in the calming scent of Boeshane.
"Come on, we all need a cuddle bath" Jack decided, pulling them from the room and Ianto glanced back as he left the room the last thing he saw was Brenda shuffling the papers with shaking hands.
Sure does stink doesn't it girl.
When its over your fucking head.