A/N - Howdy! Chapter 20 is here and ready! Again, NO delays, yay! I could have used an extra day, making the chapter a bit longer but I decided to go ahead and post it, liking the cliffhanger at the end. Oh, and don't hate me for it ;) ;). Again, it's a bit shorter then the last two I've written but I've been just a wee bit busy this week. The next chapters I'm hoping I continue my "long chapter writing streak"! Do you guys like the long chapters like that? Let me know!

Thank you, Firework7 and finewithnotbeingateennot for reviewing! I was hoping I'd get more, that was my best chapter yet (personally). Hope everyone's doing great!

I had a little trouble in this chapter, so I'm hoping you like it. Again, I wish it was longer. Anywho, BIG news, I've started a NEW multi One-Shot story, head on over to my profile to check it out, read the intro first please! (It's Post-Mockingjay One-Shots) Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Reviews greatly appreciated. I have REALLY big plans for the next Chapter, be sure to check out the preview at the end here. Oh, and you'll be seeing Prim in this chapter... 'act' a little different then her normal self, there is a reason. Not the next, but the following (Chpt. 22) will be alot of Prim and Katniss. Oh, and how do you like the idea of this little girl? She's got a story you'll find out soon. Well, Chapter 21 (whew!) will be up either Saturday OR Sunday, I'm actually shooting for Saturday afternoon/evening, check the Facebook and/or Tumblr page for updates and/or previews. Anywho, Enjoy this chapter, reviews appreciated. Much love - Macayla

I don't answer, not right away. Instead at stare into her face, her smile that seems so… odd to me. She steps a little closer to me, holding tightly to the books.

"Katniss hon, are you pregnant?" She asks me, gently and quietly.

I'm completely lost for an answer. Of course I am (I still hope I am), but why am I finding it so hard to tell her this? I swallow hard, remembering to even check (the best I know how to) to see if my baby is still alive. I oddly pray that he is.

"Ah…" I stutter, swallowing hard again.

"You are!" She quietly shouts, bouncing at the balls of her feet. "Oh. My. God. You are!" She repeats, letting out a silent squeal.

I don't smile, I keep a straight face, unmoving. Feeling pain at the thought I still might be telling her I'm not, that I might be telling Gale I'm not anymore.

"I have to use the bathroom." I blurt out, getting up from the chair before she can answer.

I run up the stairs and into the small bathroom off of the bedroom, staring into the mirror. The girl looking back at me looks nothing like myself. Her dark brown, wavy hair is flat and damp from rain water, her shirt and pants covered in a red substance… blood. Sweat and water(rain) stains accompany the blood. But I didn't come up here to look at myself in the mirror, I came up here to find out if my baby is still alive. I close my eyes, trying to decide if I'm right about what my mother tells her pregnant patients about checking for the loose of a baby. My mother always tells them, that if there's blood in the underwear, that it's a miscarriage. I swallow hard, taking a deep, loud breath before I do just that.

Not last week I wouldn't have cared rather I had lost the baby or not… in a sad, sick way I would have wanted to, thinking it's better off. But I don't… not anymore.

I want this baby.

There. I said the words I had so dreaded to say. Words I had been keeping from myself, a lie I had been telling myself, the people around me.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Katniss, sweetheart, are you okay?" I hear Hazel ask me form the other side of the bathroom door.

"Fine. Just using the restroom." I shout back, again, a bit too harshly.

I sigh at the sound of her footsteps fading away, back down the stairs.

'Pull yourself together, Katniss'

I hear in my head. I know that I must, that I have an injured, hurt husband downstairs waiting for me. Depending on me. I muster up all my strength, pulling down my pants and gasping at the sight before me…

No blood.

Before I can stop it my lips form a smile, a wide smile. My babies safe. He's alive… too. I pull my pants back up, leaning against the counter sink and sighing a breath of relief, but also dawning at my own words.

I want this baby.

I repeat the words to myself, speaking honestly. Shocking myself. My smile widens.

Knock, knock, knock.

"I'm sorry, Katniss, but Gale needs that medicine." I hear Hazel say, her tone changing back to pain and frantic.

"Coming, coming." I speak, opening the door to be greeted by a panic looking Hazel.

I never see this look from her, only briefly at times. But I follow her down the stairs and back into the living room. Gale is, to my surprise, sitting up. I become instantly angry. Realizing that's not the best position to have a burnt person in. I run to sit next to him on the mattress, his face is red with newly stained blood. After I had cleaned his wounds/burns, you could only see pink, hot skin. Now new blood has surfaced on most of his body, turning him back into a dark shade of red, especially his face. Gale extends his good arm to me, grasping my hand.

"K… Katniss? I ne…ed that… that medicine." He says calmly to me, stuttering in pain.

Then I realize, at the sight of Gale in agonizing, unbarring pain that I can't take it no more. I can't bare to watch him suffer like this while my own mother ignores her own son in-law.

"Gale, I'm going to get it." I say calmly back.

"Now?" He asks me, pleads me.

"Now." I confirm, his chapped lips form a small smile through the pain.

I lean in, kissing them lightly. He doesn't move his lips but closes his eyes. His lips are hot, burning my own but I don't stop. The feeling of his lips pressed against my own is a feeling I thought I'd never get to feel again. I pull away at the sound of-

Knock, knock, knock.

A small, light knock stirs me from my thoughts. I sigh as I turn my attention to the front door, then back to Gale.

"I'm going to get it. I'll be back as soon as I can." I say, pressing my lips quickly to his again. I stand back up, stopping Hazel in the kitchen from opening the door. "I got it. Just keep Gale distracted, I'll get the medicine." I say, gesturing with my head towards the living room.

She nods at me, walking briskly back to Gale. She stops halfway, right as my hand is on the door knob, the person behind the door briefly knocks again.

"Congrats on the baby. I can't wait to be a Grandmother!" Hazel says, walking back into the living room before I can answer.

Even though she can't see me anymore, I smile at her words. Realizing that both my mother and her will be Grandmothers. Making Gale and I both parents, with each other. I shake my head at the thought, turning my attention back to the person that's been patiently waiting at the door. I open it slowly, being greeted by a light mist from the now smaller rain clouds. No one.

No one is on the other side.

I peek my head out some, looking around. I shrug at the sight of nothing but a few frantic people making their way down and up the usually unbusy seam road. I quickly grab my game bag from the counter, knowing I need to get this medicine for Gale soon. I slam the door shut behind me, almost stepping on the continent in front of the door. A small, brown paper bag sits there, with a small note written on the side of it in black ink. I bend down, grabbing the bag and reading the neatly handwritten note quickly-

"For Gale. I hope he's well. - Peeta M."

Peeta M.? Peeta Mellark. I open the bag and two things hit me, the scent of freshly baked bread and steam. I almost faint (I know I get dizzy) at the smell. Will I ever stop owing this boy? Why is it that he's always 'popping' up somehow in my life? Always at the most appropriate times? I shake my head, trying my best to forget the boy with the bread and focus on my screaming, in pain husband that's waiting on me.

I quickly stuff the paper bag into my game bag, running down the steps.

Where to? Where to?

My mother. She's the only one that has a key to the small safe she uses to lock away the pain medicine. When I was young, I'd never understand why she would do this. But now, now that I retrieve the correct herbs for her from the woods, I understand. The ones needed to brew pain killing medicine is the hardest to come by. I can search for hours and hours without finding the correct herbs, sometimes I go days without finding them, making my mother have a short supply. There always seems to be somebody coming to my mother, daily for pain killers. But I never use to understand why she would lock them away, keeping safe guard over the key. She told me that when people you love are in pain, you do crazy things. The night that a wife of a dying shop keeper broke into our home, searching for the medicine after my mother said we were out, I now understand that too. And she was right, people will do crazy things when they people they love are hurt.

Much like myself. I run down the seam road, regretting I'll have to face those wretched mines to get to my mother, people are walking, running and jogging up and down the road. Coming and going from the mines. Some are crying, others are happy, almost skipping to their homes. I see a few other Peacekeeper's, doing the same thing they did to Gale. Carrying the critically wounded home, most likely home for some of them to die in peace. I've seen my mother do it with her patients before. I come up on the scene I so wanted to forget, but it's changed, there's no more crowd and the gate surrounding the mines are open again. Still though, dozens and dozens of injured, bleeding, screaming miners lay spread out on the ground, shouting things. Most of them have their families around. I avoid looking to my right, the pile of bodies stacked up for the mass grave.

"Can we help you?" I hear a deep voice behind me. I turn around, being greeted by a Peacekeeper I've never seen before.

"I'm looking for my mother. The healer?" I respond, knowing people know her more as the 'healer' rather then by her first(or last) name.

"Over there." He says, gesturing with his head toward the injured.

Before I can say anything else he walks off, joining a group of Peacekeeper's in moving a miner. I follow his movement to where he said my mother was. Low and behold he was right. I see her and Prim, bent over a bleeding miner, a screaming miner. I jog over to her, instantly regretting it. I come up on the scene, just as my mother is bringing down a large saw on a mans leg. I'm still eight or nine feet away but I turn around, throwing up what little I had for lunch, feeling faint and dizzy.

"Katniss? It's okay." I hear from behind me, a gentle hand rests on my back.

Without turning around I know this voice from anywhere, Prim. How she can remain unaffected by the things she see's, I have no clue. I've come close to fainting at just the sound effects of my mothers work, much like now. Another scream comes from the man behind me.

"I need that medicine for Gale. Now." I say breathlessly, resting my hands on my knees as I continue to still feel nauseous.

Prim doesn't answer but I feel her remove her hand from my back and footsteps fading. With another scream from the man the remaining bit of lunch reappears, en elderly woman pass's me, stopping and looking. I look up at her, wanting badly to smack the sour look she wears.

"Are you Katniss Everdeen? The healers daughter?" She asks me in a raspy voice, a loud crack of thunder courses through the sky. Creepy.

"Yes, she is." I hear from behind me, Prim.

The woman looks past me, studying Prim for a moment, then continuing on. I turn around toward Prim, ignoring the sight behind her.

"Did you know her?" Asks Prim sheepishly, I answer with a 'no'. "Creepy." Prim adds, stealing the words from my thoughts, I briefly laugh, just briefly. "Here's the key. She said two pills every three hours. But she said she'll be there before he'll need a second dose." She says, handing me the little silver key to the rusted safe at home.

"Thanks." I say, wiping snout from my nose.

"No problem. How's Gale?" She asks, a hint of fear in her voice.

"Alright, just in a lot of pain." I reply, eyeing the silver key in my hand.

"Are how are you doing?" She asks me, dropping her head slightly to catch my gaze.

"I'm fine." I reply, somewhat honestly, but not completely truthful. Prim catches this of course.

"Katniss, don't lie to me because I'm young. I thought we had a different relationship now." She says. Her voice is nothing like her own, she sounds distant. I laugh quickly.

"Are you sure your okay?" I reply, somewhat teasingly and serious. "Maybe all this blood is getting to you a little Prim." I add, catching the small reflect of pain in her eyes.

"It's not!" She shouts, lashing out suddenly at me, showing me a side I never see of Prim. Angry.

"It's okay if it is.." I say gently, resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's not for everyone."

Prim normally is fine with the things my mother has to work with, being one of the first people to run into a situation where there's injured, dying, bleeding people and even animals (especially animals). But there have been times, when Prim has locked herself in her room, not talking or eating for days after witnessing incidents like now. There will always be a part of me cursing my mother for showing Prim such things at her age.

"I'm fine!" She shouts at me in answer. Water building in her eyes.

The man behind her screams again, cursing through my blood. It does more to Prim this time then to me though, she cringes up, closing her eyes at the sound.

"Prim, your coming home with me." I say, gently and quietly.

"No I'm not! You can't make me!" She screams, opening her eyes.

"Prim-"

"I'm fine! God Katniss, you treat me like that damn little girl I use to be! I'm not that anymore!" She shouts again.

Prim. Who I've never seen cuss, rarely seen yell (especially at myself or mother) has turned into someone else at this moment. A person, I again, blame my mother for. I know Prim doesn't mean her words, I know she's stress from what's around her. Our mother relies to much on her for doing this stuff. It's finally backing up and breaking down Prim, I can't let our mother do this to her.

I don't look at Prim but walk past her. To where our mother is, still bent over with the man that now has two severed legs. I ignore the man, completely raged with anger that's rapidly building.

"I'm sick and tired of you turning Prim into this person she's not! Your just as selfish as ever. I had thought you changed, became a better person for her but you haven't! You have her out here doing all your dirty work and I'm not going to let you!" I shout at her, ignoring the looks I'm receiving from the grieving family of the man.

My mother stands, looking at me intently. Wearing the same unmoving, unemotional face she wears when I'm angry with her. She tightens her jaw. I clinch my own before I'm aware of it.

"She's coming home and I'll be damned if I let you do anything to help my husband." I say quietly but sternly.

I turn around quickly, trying my best not to give time for her to answer but just then, as I take in the sight of an angry, upset Prim I see a small little girl, running towards me.

The girl.

That girl.

I had completely forgotten of the little girl who's father was in the mines. Who I had sat there and wept with. She throws herself at me, weeping and crying loudly. She wraps her tiny arms around my waist. This can't be good, I think to myself. She weeps into my shirt-

"Hey? Hey? It's okay." I say, bending down to her level. She rests her head on my shoulder. "Shh." I speak soothingly, trying to calm her of her tears.

"He's gone! He's dead!" She screams out. I hold her closely, only fathoming the pain she's going through. Thinking back to the own pain I endured after my fathers passing. "He's all I had!" She adds

"He's all I had!"

The words course through me much like the screams of pain I've endured today, realizing what those words mean. When there's a child (that is under eighteen) with no other blood related family members, the child automatically goes into the District Twelve Orphanage. And the orphanage is nothing like our own homes. I've never been inside, but the stories of filth, bugs and lack of proper care and food are enough to scare anyone into death. Prim and I were so close to it, but thankfully with our mother still alive (somewhat) we dodged it. There are still children though who were unwanted by their parents, being dropped off even though they do still have living blood related family. It's a sad place, the windows boarded up, the playground dusted with cob webs and rust. And you never see the children, only coming with the crowd of 'orphie kids' (as the kids in school call them) group from the orphanage. It's sad, they look malnourished, the whole district does but they the most.

There's no such thing as 'adoption' here in twelve. No one (especially not in the seam) can afford the outrageous 'prices' of these innocent children. Capitol people adopt children from district orphanages here and there. But never from here. There would be no decent Capitol person wanting a child from a low line district like ourselves. They mostly adopt from one, two and four(so I've heard).

"He's gone!" The girl screams again in my shoulder.

I can't let this little, beautiful girl end up like those children. But I can't take her myself.

"Hey?" I say, getting her attention. She raises her teary eyes into my view. "It's going to be alright, okay?"

She nods her head just as a Peacekeeper's is approaching us.

"Rhoda Mandor? Come with me, please." He says, it's the same Peacekeeper that approached me just minutes ago.

The girl… Rhoda looks at me, panic written across her face.

"Please don't let them take me there!" She pleads me, tears streaming from her clear grey eyes.

"Do you know her?" He asks me.

I stand, looking into the face of this man. I swallow hard. Telling him no would get her sent straight to the orphanage, but telling him yes might save her from there. But lying to a Peacekeeper could get me into serious trouble. I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to find the best solution. I can't afford to get into any trouble, not with Gale at home. I contemplate, wishing my father was here, telling me the right thing to do.

"Miss, I need an answer." The Peacekeeper says, raising his eyebrows in anticipation.

"I do. Yes, I know her."

I say the words before I think them, nearly slapping my hand over my mouth. I see Prim behind the man crossing her arms, not appearing angry but confused.

"I know her too sir." The girl speaks to him, turning around and wrapping an arm around my leg.

"Mrs. Hawthorn, I know she's not your family. She'll have to be booked into the orphanage immediately." He speaks, placing his hands on his utility belt. I stutter for a second-

"Please, I could find her a permanent home. Please?" I beg, realizing what my words intale.

"Mam, under the strict law of Panam, sector nine, I can't-"

"It's fine. Let her do it."

I turn around to see Darius, head of a certain squad. The Peacekeeper immediately stands straighter.

"Sir, with all do respect, that is unlawful-"

"Fuck the law. That's a command." Darius says in answer.

I feel two things at once, relief that this little, frail girl won't be entering the orphanage but then realization, I'm now in care of her. Our house is already much to full, Gale's mother and siblings, Prim, a baby on the way and of course, an injured Gale.

'You did the right thing.'

The words pop into my head suddenly, oddly. I know that it's right, I am doing the right thing. This girl lost her father, almost more then I lost. I at least had somewhat of a mother and still had a little sister. I wasn't alone. This girl. She is. I can't let her go through this, especially not the pain that she'll endure at the lose of her father by herself. She'll need me, no matter what I'm going through myself.

But I will find her a home of her own, a family that I know must take her. I rack my brain for people that I know, Mrs. Mildred, Greasy Sae. Now's not the time though. I turn back around facing Darius-

"Are you sur-"

"Katniss, it's fine. Find a home for her." He says, not smiling. I can see pain in his eyes, much like Prim. He swallows hard, dropping his gaze to the ground.

"What is it Darius?" I ask, knowing there's something he's not telling me, something weighing on him.

Of course, everything that's happened today is weighing on the whole districts shoulder. Making us each endure separate kind of pains for different people.

Just then a large hovercraft flies over the scene, heading into the meadow for a landing. It reads "Capitol News" on the side. Of course this is going to make Capitol news, not that they care about what happens here anyway. I look back to Darius, thinking maybe that is what was pondering him. But he looks unaffected by it, staring into the ground still. I turn my attention back to the girl, telling her to stand with Prim. Prim shoots her the smallest, weakest smile as the crying girl approaches. My mother, the other Peacekeeper, their no where in sight. I once again turn my attention back to Darius, he looks up me. Coldness in his eyes.

"Darius? What is it?" I ask again, pleading for an answer from him. Not looking forward to it.

I almost want to shake him, slap him for an answer. 'I have an in-pain husband waiting for me at home' I want to scream at him, but by his look, by the hurt in his eyes, screaming at him wouldn't help.

"Darius!?" I finally shout a bit louder.

He looks up again, shaking his head slightly. His next words sink in, hard and deep, nearly knocking the wind out of my cold lungs-

"Thom. He didn't make it.". . . . .

Chapter 21 Preview: How will Katniss feel about the news of losing a friend? How will Gale take the news of his good friend being dead? What will be the story behind this little girl, Rhoda? Will Katniss find a home for this fatherless child? What will be Gale's thoughts on this new vistor? What will take place when Katniss has to retell the story of her own fathers death to her? And what strange, "secretes" about Gale will Katniss discover in the dead of night? Lots of questions! Find out all the answers Saturday!