A/N - Hello dear readers! Chapter 21 is finally here, sorry for the delay! Now.. It is NOT my best chapter I've written.. I H-A-T-Ethis chapter, I'm sorry but I do! It turned out nothing like I wanted it to, so I apologize. Hopefully you'll still find some enjoyment to it though ;) I know I said I had big plans for it :( :( :(
But... I can guarantee 100% the next chapter WILL be BETTER, much better! ! My mind is already swirling with alot of really great ideas I'm excited to share. I didn't get to put a brutal point about Gale in this chapter, so expect it in the next(Chp. 22). I'm also going to uncover Prim alot more, finding out what's going on in her little brain ;). It will also be picking up a bit near the end of it. I swear.. this next chapter may change the course of the series... (Being serious!)
Well, thank you for the few reviews I got! My apologizes for any grammar/spelling mistakes as I did not have the time to reread/check it much. Well, Chapter 22 is a little tricky, I am both busy Wednesday AND Thursday all day. I doubt I can have it by Tuesday so right now I'm shooting to have it up Friday OR Saturday. I'm so sorry for the extra few days, it will be worth it, promises! Again, Check the Facebook page for any and all updates/previews. Enjoy this Chapter, feedback is muchly loved! - Macayla
Thom. Dead.
The realization hits hard and cold, knocking the wind from me. I pause, looking into the pain reflected eyes of Darius. I was never extremely close with Thom but Gale was. I think back to just last week, sitting in his living room with his family and him, talking about the future. Thom mentioned how happy he was for Gale and I, saying he hopes to find love like we have with someone. Now he'll never. How am I supposed to tell Gale this? That his best friend (besides myself) is dead? Gone? I can't, I can't tell Gale that right now, not anytime soon. I shake my head of my thoughts and turn my attention back to Darius.
"Are you sure he's… dead?" I ask, stuttering with the word. Why I ask this question I don't know.
"Katniss…" Darius begins, hanging his head low. "His body is charred but it's pretty evident." He says, shaking his head in anguish.
I think back to how Thom looked. He's the same age as Gale and not bad looking. He's never one that stood out in my mind but he was a clean cut person. His personality could be funny one second and completely serious the next, even at times he could come across as a fourteen year old boy by both looks and personalities. I'm again taken back by a flashback, not even a year ago when Gale threw me the little birthday party for my seventeenth birthday. Thom was there of course, being the life of the party. I remember him playing with Posy when no one else would, playing her 'Prince'. I sigh at the thought of the life lost, wondering how Gale will take the news whenever I muster up the courage to tell him.
"Look Kat, I've got to go. I hope Gale gets better, I'll come by tomorr-"
"677 your needed at Gate A North."
The voice rings through his radio, cutting him off from his words. He sends me a weak, unemotional smile before turning the heels of his feet and marching off to where a group of Capitol news reporters stand. My mind races with the quick thought of why this would burdened Darius so much. I've never seen him utter a word to Thom. Maybe they were closer then we thought? I shake my head (yet again) at my thoughts and turn around. Turning around to seeing a much angry, disgusted looking Prim and a broken, crying little girl.
I walk back over to them, feeling the cold safe key in my hands.
"We need to go to moms place and get the medicine." I tell Prim.
She doesn't answer, barley looks at me as she pushes through me, walking ahead of myself and.. Rhoda. The girl looks at me, tear stains on her rosy pink cheeks. I bend down, placing both of my hands on her shoulders.
"Everything's going to be okay, I lost my dad when I was twelve. I'm going to take you home until we find you one of your own." I say, trying to sound the cheeriest I can among my own grief and pain.
She shakes her head quickly, wiping her tears away with her shirt sleeve. She smiles, briefly and barley at me. I return it, grabbing her hand and leading her away from the still somewhat chaotic scene and down the seam road. I walk fast, both catching up with Prim and in the fact of getting this medicine for Gale fast.
As we take the quick (thankfully quick to our brisk walking/jogging) rout back to my mothers place I think about her. The semi-fight we had. Since my marriage with Gale over a month ago now, we've seemed to develop some relationship, especially with the news of the baby growing inside of me. But now, have I ruined it by letting my emotions get the best of me? I pray that it hasn't but I don't take back my words, I don't take back the anger I have towards her at what she's making Prim turn into. I look over to Prim as she wears a straight face, keeping her head down. I catch her a few times, eyeing the girl that's trailing in between us. She doesn't speak though and neither do I.
We arrive at our mothers home as the sun tries to peak through the evening storm clouds. I open the door to be greeted with the most unpleasant sight. Saying the home is a mess would be an understatement. The home looks like a pig sty, almost unrecognizable. There's dirty dishes beyond piled in the sink and all over the kitchen tops. I walk more into the home I grew up in to be greeted with unwashed clothes scattered through out the entire house. Trails of medicine bottles, pickings of herbs and first aid items are slung across the rooms. Old blood stains from her patients still stain the dinning room table and floor. That use to be my job, when I was younger, to wash any blood stained furniture or floor after a visit with her patients. I assume it's no ones job now, not even her own.
Prim doesn't say anything and neither does Rhoda. I walk back into the kitchen and open the small cabinet. The rusted away safe lies there. I stick the key in and retrieve the medicine, locking it back and placing the key on top of it.
"Lets go!" I exclaim to them, more in a rush then ever as we make our way back home, to Gale.
I realize I haven't been gone all that long, but for someone in Gale's pain it's most likely seems like ages, years since I've left. I run now (and so does the others) back to home, swinging the door open.
Laughing.
I hear… laughter, coming from the living room. The room Gale's in. Prim marches off immediately, locking herself in her bedroom before I have time to do or say literally anything. Rhoda stands beside me, unmoving.
"Katniss? Katniss? Did you get it? Did you get the medicine?" Hazel asks me, running to meet me at the front door. I realize her usually neatly combed hair is tangled.
I hold up the little clear baggy, showing her the pills that lie within.
"Great! He needs it so badly honey!" She exclaims, eyeing the girl next to me. "Who is this?" She asks me in a whisper, as though she couldn't hear us (though she can).
"Long story, I'll tell you later." I say, walking past her and into the kitchen, retrieving a small drinking glass from the cabinet. The girl and Hazel follow.
Hazel helps me in pouring some of the unused sterilized water into the glass from the large bucket.
"It's bad, Katniss." She says, lowing her voice. "Poor Rory's had to do exactly what you said…" She looks up at me before finishing- "Distract him. Rory's done everything." She stresses the word. "But it's been working." She says with a grin, an almost evilest grin. I return it with a smile.
"Good." I say, honestly.
I finish filling the glass and take out two of the pills, carefully leaving the unused ones for later. I follow Hazel into the living room, the girl behind myself. I enter just as I hear another weak laugh from Gale. I don't take in the sight of my bleeding but somehow laughing husband, but instead take in the sight of Rory wearing one of his mothers dresses, his back turned toward me. I laugh, almost dropping the glass of water in my hands.
"Rory!?" I shout, getting his and Gale's attention. He whips around, taking in the sight of me, his mother and Rhoda. "You've never looked better." I joke, surprising myself at my calm attitude. I walk up closer to Rory, dropping my face to his- "You may want to wear a slip next time, though." I joke again, getting a pretty hearty laugh from Gale on the floor.
I turn around to see Hazel laughing loudly and Rhoda with a straight face.
"Katn-"
"Oh. Yes, sorry!" I exclaim at the sound of my pleading husband on the mattress on the floor.
I step past Rory and over to Gale, kneeling beside the mattress. He's still in somewhat of a sitting position, sitting slightly upright by the front of the couch, so I leave him for the time being. I hand him the two large pills and the glass of water, each at a time since his other arm/hand looks to be broken, It's wrapped in linins and I haven't seen him move it much. He gulps the water quickly, emptying it dry. I take the cup back as he speaks-
"What's… wrong?" Gale asks, trying to sit straighter, causing a slight moan to escape his lips.
Gale must sense something, that the death of Thom is weighing heavily on my shoulders. Maybe he sees the same pain and grief I saw in Darius' eyes? I swallow hard, attempting to do something I'm horrible at, especially with Gale… lie.
"Nothing's wrong. Just tired." I answer, smiling weakly afterwards. He doesn't buy it though, I can tell.
"An…d who's sh…e?" He asks, pointing at the girl who wears a sad, lonely face.
I lean in closer to Gale, realizing Hazel went to help Rory change most likely, leaving just the three of us.
"She… her, ah, Dad died. She'll only be staying for a few days at the most, I promise-"
"She's.. fine. S…he can stay a…s long as sh…e needs to." Gale says, realizing no doubt the connection I'm sharing with her. He smiles, weakly.
"Just rest some Gale." I say, stroking soothing circles on his good arm. He nods his head slightly, closing his eyes.
After several minutes, at least thirty, he finally falls asleep. I think back to what my mom said, but I ignore it for now, knowing he needs sleep. I lie there with him for a good few minutes before Hazel comes back into the room, introducing herself to the girl. Rhoda's shy, sheepishly shaking Hazel's outstretched hand.
"Katniss honey, I'll find a place for her to sleep tonight. The boys can sleep on the floor." Hazel says, sounding more cheerful then ever.
I answer with a shake of my head, thankful for one less thing for me to be worried about. Rhoda follows her up the stairs and into the bedroom. It's at times like these that I'm grateful for her, for her motherly help. I turn my attention back to Gale, sleeping peacefully with the medicine now. 'How am I supposed to tell him Thom's dead?' I ask myself the question, pondering my heart with every beat. I can't tell him… but I have to, sooner or later.
"Hey Catnip." Gale says as he wakes. I'm nearly taken back by the changes in his voice. It went from being strained and pained to being back to his normal self.
"Hey hon." I respond, bringing my lips to his forehead.
"And after all I've been through I don't deserve one on the lips?" He exclaims, grinning afterwards. There's nothing that could make me happier, him not in pain.
"Well, I guess since you've been such a good boy." I say, a bit too seductively for the moment.
I bring my lips down to his, feeling the now much cooler warmth. Gale kisses back this time, trying to use his tongue.
"Gale!?" I say, pulling back from the kiss. "I assume you feel better?" I add, laughing a bit under my breath.
"After what I've been through today, yes, I do. Just stings a little… my skin." He answers, raising his good arm up to his vision.
He does look much better then he did before, his skin is back to a baby pink and Hazel must have managed to get the chunks of clothing out of his skin. His eyes are brighter and there's no evident blood on his skin. I pray that he gets back to himself… soon.
"Well, it's going to." I say, in answer to his comment. He smiles, which I return.
He mentions Rhoda again, speaking that he understands why I want to help her. The conversation feels so good, so much like Gale's back, and though he is, his next comment threatens me to lose the bit of calm that was over me. In fact, I do lose it-
"… maybe Thom and his family will take her. Thom would love to have another sister." Gale says, sounding firm and confident.
"No, Thom's dead Gale." I want to say, the truthful answer would be saying this. But no, I lie-
"Yeah, maybe." I answer, dropping the heavy gaze.
"Katniss, there's something your not telling me." Gale says, sitting more upright.
Do I tell him? Why am I finding it so hard to? Is it because of the own pain Gale's enduring already that scares me? Why? I scream the word at me- Why?
"It's nothing Gale." I say, staring at the blood stained linins.
"Stop lying to me." He says, sternly. Gale's officially back now.
"I'm not!"
"You are! Is it something to do with the baby?" He asks me, showing evidently the lose of patients he has.
"No, no! I'm just tired, that's all." I answer, finally looking into his grey eyes.
"You have been through a lot today." Gale says, taking my hand in his. His eyes search me, he does this to me at times, the times I'm not being honest. He's done this since that day I met him in the woods all those years ago.
"Well so have you." I say, trying to steer the conversation back to him. Off of me, off of Thom, off of death.
"I know, but I mean you, with the baby." He says, squeezing my hand slightly.
"Yeah, I have." I respond. I don't tell Gale that I almost lost our child… I can't tell him that yet either.
Why am I keeping these things from my husband?
XX
Soon the evening turns into night. The sound of Hazel and Rhoda in the kitchen cooking dinner calm me of sorts as I lie with Gale, my head resting gently on his good shoulder. Posy sits with us since she and Vick have returned, filling Gale in on the days entail. I listen to her intently, smiling as she adds every detail. Of course this day was no different to her then any other, too young to understand the grief and pain that took place today.
"Posy?!" Hazel calls from the kitchen.
The next thing Posy does nearly brings tears to my eyes, why I'm not sure, I'm not the emotional type. Posy jumps up, bringing her lips softy to Gale's forehead and whispering-
"I'm glad you're my brother."
With that she springs up, not acting as though she made Gale's horrible, painful day a bit brighter. She skips off into the kitchen, answering with a 'Yes mama?'. Gale smiles, looking the most peaceful I've seen him of the day.
Hazel makes squirrel bean soup. I take my bowl, sharing it with Gale in the living room while the others eat in the kitchen. Prim doesn't say anything and neither do I. I hear the others try to spark conversation up with Rhoda, but I don't hear her speak, not much. I try feeding some of the soup to Gale, which he refuses, speaking that he's not hungry-
"… I'll go hunting with you after your work." He says after I tried getting another spoonful in his mouth.
"Be serious…" I say, knowing Gale's in no shape to be outside, his skin is much to sensitive, amongst other things. "You can't! Just because you feel good now doesn't mean you will tomorrow." I add.
"You annoy me." He says, scowling at me.
"Ditto." I add, laughing briefly.
After a short… 'conversation' I win. I hunt tomorrow by myself. But then a thought hits me-
"Hey!" I get his attention after several minutes of silence, setting my empty bowl on the ground. "I could take Rory, you know we've been needing to teach him to hunt with us!" I say, slightly excited at the thought of Rory joining me in hunting.
"No, he's too young." Gale answers, confidently.
"He's eleven Gale." I say.
After yet another 'conversation' I win, Rory joins me. 'Only because I'm pregnant.' as Gale put it.
"You get your way too much." Gale says, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Only 'cause you let me." I return, bringing my lips inches from his.
"That's because I love you." And with that I close the gap between on lips.
XX
I'm remaking my bed on the couch this time after washing and changing in my pajamas, when I take notice of the dimly lit home. Prim and Posy have retired to bed, Hazel and the boys to theirs (The boys on the bedroom floor). I sigh as I walk into the kitchen, heading to the table and counters to blow out the remaining burning candles. As I lean over the table to do so I hear light footfall from the stairs, looking I see Rhoda, silent tears coming down her face.
"Hey!" I say, trying to sound the cheeriest I can for her.
She walks the remaining few, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
"I miss Daddy." She speaks, choking the words out.
I swallow hard, being struck back of the unwelcome memories of my own fathers death, the own pain I felt. She's younger then me, much frailer then I was at the time of my fathers death. She looks no older then seven. I walk over to her, bending down to her level-
"It's going to get better, I promise." I say, speaking honestly.
"But he's dead and… and gone!" She chokes out. I wipe the tears off of her cheeks, taking her hand and setting her in my lap at the kitchen table.
"I know. But it does, it gets better. I lost my father too…" I begin, taking a deep loud breath. "It was hard. I had a sister to look after, my mother went into depression. I was alone too…" I tilt her chin, forcing her to look at me, "I had to be brave. I was weak though, I felt like I was weak. But I wasn't. I began providing for my family, later meeting my husband. It gets better Rhoda." I speak, kissing the top of her forehead. "I'm not going to abandoned you, your safe and sound with me." I rub her back, pushing away my own tears at the memory of my fathers death.
She shakes her head, removing herself from my lap and back up the stairs. I sigh, wishing she'd talk more as I make my way back into the living room, lying down next to a sleeping Gale before finding my own sleep, my own nightmare filled sleep.
Images of a young, beautiful little boy fill my sleeping head. The image progresses, each showing a different scene in this young boys life. I stand, watching as the scene turns into a kitchen, the young boy playing, banging on the pots and pans as his pregnant mother tries to stop him. It's a beautiful image, amongst the noise and chaos. The scene drastically changes, a young teenage boy, playing make-believe with his younger brother. The next scene sends me Into a vision I never wanted to imagine, the image of Thom, lit into flames screaming, screaming for help. I run to help him, being pushed back by people, strangers as people watch, watch the man burn. I scream, scream his name at the top of my lungs…."Katniss!? Katniss!?" I hear though my screams, echoing my pain. "Katniss!?" I hear again. I scream Thom's name louder and louder… and louder….
"Katniss!?" My eyes fly open to the image of Gale, barley but hanging over me, shaking me slightly. "Kat!?" He says, at the sight of my waking eyes.
I cry. Before I can stop it… I cry. Tears fall from my face. Gale lies back down, pulling me closer to him, causing a slight moan to escape at his doings, no doubt the pain it caused him. I continue to cry-
"It's just a bad dream Katniss.. It's ok." Gale says, soothing my unbraided hair.
"It wasn't! It wasn't a dream!" I shout through my tears, this time… being honest. It wasn't a dream… he's dead.
"Katniss that's nonsense.." Gale replies, shifting his painful legs slightly.
I sit up, looking into the eyes of my husband, my husband that deserves the truth, no matter how painful it is for the both of us-
"Thom's dead, Gale! He's dead!" I shout, too loudly for a sleeping house, through my chaotic sobs.
It's as though something heavy was sitting on top of me, instantly I feel relief. The weight that threatened to crush me ceases, I feel finally free. I can barley see Gale's face through the darkened living room, but confusion, misunderstanding immediately appears. I did the wrong thing, I think to myself, but I didn't. I've been lying to my husband all day and I'm sick of it.
"And I thought our baby was dead this morning!" I shout out again, trying to undo anything I didn't tell Gale.
His face again appears with confusion. A thin line forms between his eyebrows. 'Say something Gale!', I want to scream at time, 'Say a damn word'. He reads my thoughts-
"But, the baby? She's okay?" He asks, ignoring the comment about Thom completely. I wipe my tears from my cheeks.
"Yes. Fine." I reply, sniffling my snot back.
My crying ceases to a point, but the image of a burning Thom reappears in my head, resuming my chaotic sobs.
"Shh, Katniss. It's okay, he's in a better place now." Gale says, speaking calmly and collectively.
Calm? Saying Gale's taking the news honestly would be truthful. But thinking I should have known, Gale isn't a 'cryer' or overly emotional person, he's most likely hiding whatever feelings are threatening him… which I hate. But I do the same… in a way.
"How do you know?" I respond, my vision becoming blurry with tears.
Gale shifts a bit, the medicine given an hour ago starting to take full effect. He tilts my chin down, causing me to look into the matching grey eyes we share-
"Remember that day? When we were on the back porch when my mom was away? You pointed out the suns rays, saying each one is a loved one passed away. Remember?" He asks me, speaking softly to my hurting soul. I nod my head in answer, remembering it well. "And how you pointed out the two, the two of our fathers?" I nod my head again. "Well now there's a third one to add, Thom." He finishes, pulling me down by my arm next to him.
He plants a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. The kind of kiss that sends the oddest, coldest but somehow shivers up and down my spine. The kind of kiss that comforts me, no matter what my pain is. I kiss him back, being careful leaning slightly over him. If I'm causing him any pain, he doesn't show. Our lips form together as one for what seems like eternity before Gale pulls slightly back, running his hand through my hair.
"Rest Katniss." He speaks, obviously mimicking my earlier tone.
I lean down, resting my head gently on his shoulder. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath but it doesn't work. The image of a burning Thom reply over and over and over, and fire burns brighter in the dark. I open them, knowing I won't sleep tonight, knowing I'll be haunted by this nightmare for days, weeks. I lie there, pretending to sleep for the sake of Gale. But Gale… that person who knows me far to well-
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me, after at least ten minutes of pure silence. I sigh, realizing he knows I'm not sleeping, only keeping him up.
"Fire burns brighter in the dark." I say quietly, whispering it through the dark. The dark that seems yet bright in the image of a burning man.
Why I say it, I don't know. It will make no sense to Gale, who didn't see my dream, who had enough of his own fire today. I realize I shouldn't have said it, possibly sparking an unpleasant memory from Gale who's been through fire enough today. The sound of the night animals outside weave through the silence as Gale doesn't respond. Finally, he does-
"You're right. But what happened in a small room, with a lone, small candle burning?" Gale asks me, I never see him speak like this.
"I… I don't kno-"
"The darkness consumes it, being too big for the fire. This time, were the darkness, overpowering the flames." He tells me, squeezing me harder against him.
I swallow hard, knowing his wise words are right. Gale rarely speaks like this, but when he does, it sends the most calmest waters over me. I wonder if this is what Gale told himself, as he was in the burning mines? I throw the thought away, craning my head up and looking at my husband-
"You're right." I respond, a small smile formed on my face.
"I'm always right." Gale says with a wink.
I lower my head back down, finding a sleep filled with fire, but darkness, consuming darkness….
Chapter 22 Preview: What will Katniss think when she starts to discover hidden things from Gale's past? What will happen when Katniss has a serious conversation to Prim, about life, growing up? What will take place when Hazel and the kids are able to move in next door early? Will little Rhoda find a forever home, in possibly the most unlikeliest of places? And what will come down when Katniss shares an interesting moment with a visiting Darius? Questions will be answered, things may never stay the same for the Hawthorn gang. Find out Friday!