A/N - Well... It's HERE... EARLY! AND... It's LONG! Can you believe it? I wrote this chapter most of the day yesterday(Monday) and finished writing the last half a few minutes ago. I can't believe I got it up when I was wishing I could. Anywho, this chapter... it's got alot of stuff packed into it, alot of things that may change the course of the series!? I like this chapter alot! And again, it's long! (Over 6,000 words!)
Thank you for my two reviewers! Firework7, thank you for always reviewing each chapter, that means alot to an author like myself! I'm not happy it made you cry, but I'm glad to see I got some emotion from my readers, that's my goal ;). And Cocoa, oh you'll get some Darius near the end of this chapter! I'll add some Madge SUPER soon for you too, I like writing her as well. (But Darius is my favorite!)
Well, I'm really speechless as far as describing it or talking about it. This chapter holds alot of information that is going to be big in the rest of the story. Also.. I'm consideringwriting a third installment, but again, JUST considering! Would you guys want a third book if I can fit it into the plot? It would most likely be much short, conclusion of sorts to the already ending I've been thinking about. Let me know.
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'm S-O glad I could get it up early, days early! :D Now, I'm planning on Chapter 23 to be up either Saturday OR Sunday, I'm actually shooting for Sunday right now. Oh! And I haven't forgot the Katniss is 'pregnant', once some of the drama dies down, I'm going to start writing about how she's taking the pregnancy more, and write more about the baby. Anywho, ENJOY! And remember, Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated for an author, any author!:) They truly keep my going. Much love to all - Macayla
I wake to the sound of nothing in particular, just the sound of feet shifting on the old wooden floor boards. I open my eyes to be greeted with Posy's face just inches from mine, our noses just barley touching. She grins, wide at the sight of my waking eyes, scooting even closer to me.
"Good morning, Pos." I speak. Her grin becomes wider, so wide it must hurt.
"Good morning, Kat Kat." She responds.
I smile at her, sitting up and looking past her, to where Gale lays. But there's something missing…
Gale.
I look back to Posy, panic immediately setting in.
"Where's Gale?" I ask her, the panic showing.
"In the kitchen." She answers, like it's nothing.
I jump up, running into the kitchen. I hear Posy following behind me. I'm greeted with everyone in there, making or eating what breakfast can be found. I spot Gale, my mother helping him into a chair at the table. I feel instant anger, anger at my mother for making a burn victim walk. But not just any victim though, my husband.
"Mom!?" I shout at her. It doesn't come out loud though considering the noise from the others through the kitchen and home.
"Good morning sweetheart!" She responds, keeping her eyes focused on Gale, acting as though our little 'fight' never happened yesterday.
"What are you doing?" I ask her, stepping a few feet closer. I spot Rhoda and Prim sitting across from him, eating something. " He can't be doing th-"
"Katniss, I'm doing better." Gale speaks, looking past my mother and at me. His eyes are still bright and his hair is back to being neatly combed. A fresh set of clothes to top it all. His voice sounds better, remarkably better.
"Sweetheart," My mother begins. "I wouldn't do anything to harm Gale more. I know what I'm doing." She says, turning around to meet my eyes.
By what my mother is wearing I can tell she's been with her patients all morning and even all night. She's wearing the same clothes yesterday, completely stained with old and somewhat fresh blood. Her hair is in a bun at the back of her head instead of her normal braid. For a split second I feel somewhat guilty at lashing out for her, knowing she's puts the pressure on Prim only to release some of her own. But I quickly throw it out of my head… only to return.
"I know." Is the only words I can find to reply to her.
I smile briefly at Gale before making my way to where Hazel stands in the kitchen. I come up next to her to find her making jam and toast from the bread Peeta Mellark dropped off for Gale yesterday.
"Good morning dear!" She greets me. "I have an unexpected meeting at the Justice Building this morning!" She says, sounding the cheeriest I've seen her in a while.
"For?" I ask kindly, ignoring my own thoughts.
"I think the new home! A Peacekeeper came by a bit ago, telling me to meet them at ten." She replies, spreading some of the jam on a piece of toast.
"That's great then?" I respond, asking more then saying.
"Yes, I believe so! Unless of course, the house falls through?" She answers, looking up briefly to me. "But positive attitudes are the start!" She adds, letting out a happy squeal when she finishes.
I turn around after Hazel has given me my breakfast to the sight of Posy sitting happily at Gale's lap.
"Posy! You might hur-"
"I'm fine, Catnip!" Gale shouts above me, obviously annoyed at my over protection.
My mother scurries over to me, smiling wide the best she can amongst her utter exhaustion.
"Katniss baby, He's doing much better. Most of his burns are minor thanks to you." She says.
"Me?" I ask, being completely lost at what she means.
"The medicine, the burn medicine. Because you were able to put it on him so fast it healed the wounds quicker then average. Their still extremely sore though, but new skin's already beginning to form-"
My mother continues, using medical technical terms that mean nothing to me, she might as well be talking to a piece of wood. I cut her off from her words, being annoyed-
"So he's better?" I ask, wanting nothing more then a 'yes'.
"Yes." She echoes. "But he still has a lot of healing ahead. I don't want him out of the house for at least a week though, his skin is very sensitive to sunlight right now-"
My mother rambles on and on yet again with her medical knowledge. I sigh a few times loudly, trying to give her a friendly hint to shut up. It doesn't feel right anymore to yell at her, no doubt images of my fathers death have been playing inside of her head.
"Thank you." I say, cutting her off from her words.
"No problem baby. Oh! How is that little grandchild of mine?" She asks, sounding oddly cheery for the way she looks.
"Great.." I say, telling her nausea hasn't hit and I've had no other symptoms lately.
"Oh you will. Enjoy it while you can!" She responds, walking past me and toward Hazel.
I take a seat at the table, sitting next to Gale while we all scarf down our breakfast. I see Gale eating, which is a good sign. After I've ate and changed into my work clothes, the old black skirt I hate and a yellow ruffled top, I rest with my hand on the front door knob, waiting for the others.
"Katniss?" I turn around to see Hazel, smiling brightly at me. "I'm going to have to leave Posy with Gale for a bit, while I make that meeting at the Justice Building." She says, raising her eyebrows slightly. "But don't worry, I had a little 'conversation' with her." She adds, changing her tone slightly at the word.
Don't worry? How am I not supposed to worry about a four year old taking care of an injured person? I don't tell Hazel this, seeing the own worry in her eyes already. I look over her shoulder, seeing Gale sitting up (in an awkward position though) on the couch, Posy sitting next to him with what appears to be a book. I turn my attention back to a waiting Hazel-
"It will be fine." I say to her, saying it to myself just as much. She nods her head in answer.
Not a minute later I lead the pack of kids, Prim, the boys and Rhoda down the seam road and toward the school. Rhoda looks to be wearing some of Prim's old clothes. 'Good, maybe Prim is back', I say to myself. I look over to her now, she's laughing briefly at a joke that Rory must have told. I make a mental note to have a talk with her after school, about what I don't honestly know. I also see Vick trying to spark a conversation up with Rhoda, reminding myself they must be around the same age. That's a good thing, a really good thing.
"Rory?" I say, getting his attention "Your coming hunting with me later." I mention.
Immediately his eyes light up, dropping whatever conversation he was in the middle of.
"Really?" He asks, in almost utter disbelief that I would take him.
"Yeah. Gale can't go and it goes a lot faster when you got a partner." I respond, smiling afterwards.
"Awesome!" He shouts. "Gale never takes me with him!"
"Well now you are. Were hunt at dusk." I say, thinking it will give him time to do any homework.
"It's a date!" Rory says, winking at me when he finishes.
Classic Rory…
XX
The school bell rings, finally, signaling our lunch break. I give the good minute or two it takes for all the young children to line up before leaving the classroom. I make my way quickly down the winding hallways and into the large cafeteria at the end of the school. The large, tall room is filled with children, eating their small lunches, if they even have that to eat. I find the spot I'm leaning to sit at every week, a little table in the corner. School guidelines say I'm not allowed to eat with any students, so sadly I can't sit with Prim or the boys. I'm just starting to eat the lunch that Hazel kindly packed for me, left over squirrel bean soup from last night when a figure takes the seat across from me-
"Good morning, Mrs. Hawthorn"
I look up to see Principle Maddox slipping into the chair, his straight hair falling perfectly past her shoulders. I smile in reply, getting the most uncomfortable chill whenever she's around. She doesn't say much to me, but when she does, I wish she'd leave me alone. Like now.
"I just wanted to say I've heard a lot of positive remarks about you, Katniss." She says, leaning back and crossing her arms.
I smile again, not knowing the words to reply. I swallow the bite I had in my mouth,
"Good." I reply, taking another bite of my lunch.
She leans forward again, resting her crossed arms onto the table. There's always been something I don't like about her, maybe it's her out of place looks that does it for me.
"Yes. And I was wondering, if you would like to be promoted to Assistant Principle?" She asks, smiling wide.
I nearly, no I do, I choke slightly on the bite I was swallowing, coughing quickly. Assistant Principle? I ask myself in my head. Usually people from the seam, like myself rarely get jobs like I have already. Being the music teacher already is a big thing for someone of my 'status', even though they barley pay me. If I had been a merchant kid, they'd be paying me double, triple. But Principle's Assistant? That's the next highest job in this school.
"What?" I ask, letting the unprofessional words slip before I can stop them. I sound like a ten year old who just found out she's punished for a week. It doesn't take Principle Maddox by surprise though, her smile widens, laughing.
"Yes, Katniss. I know it's a big responsibility that you'll need to talk to your husband about taking. But just think about it? Please?" She says, becoming more serious with her last words. "My old Assistant had to resign this morning, I really need someone fast." She adds after a few seconds. I shake my head-
"I'll think about it." I reply, honestly.
Will I take it? I have no clue. I think back to my words I had just told Gale, about wanting to quite my job for the sake of raising our child. But a Principle Assistant will be even a busier job, running around the school and doing any work that Principle Maddox tells me to do, giving no lip. That's the hard part. And what about the music program? I can't abandon it, not now. Not after the work I've been putting in to it. The smiles of the children as I play the tunes on the piano, their cheery sounding voices overflowing the room. I can't, I can't leave them. But what if pays more? With Gale possibly being out of work for the next few weeks, any extra money will be grateful.
Principle Maddox winks at me before getting up, leaving my vision with the words hanging in the air. Maybe I should take it? Someone from the seam as I would be lucky enough to ever even work in the school, let alone be offered one of the highest jobs in the town, especially at my young age. I continue back to my eating, letting the words pop into my head-
'Asst. Principle Hawthorn'
XX
I'm leaving the school building and out of the school yard when I decide to make a quick visit to the Hob. I walk through the town, letting the strong wind carry my braid behind my back. The town is remarkably empty for the time of day, an hour past noon. But school is still going, plus the effect from yesterday still hangs into the districts peoples hearts, even in my own.
I make it to the hob, taking out the three small coins I received from work today. The Hob is quite busy though, considering the deserted streets just outside. I find Greasy Sae's booth a small sigh plastered on the front of the booth-
'No food. Come back soon'
"Hard to believe, huh?" I turn around, being greeted then no other then herself, Greasy Sae. She steps closer, reading my confused expression. "Ain't got any meat, sweetheart." She sighs loudly. "I think were approachin' one of those dreaded starvation plagues again." She shakes her head, taking a seat behind her booth on the stole.
Starvation plagues? By her words I'm not certain at what she means. People die from starvation everyday here, at least once. But there are times, when the district goes through a 'food drought', resulting in more starvation deaths then usual. I assume that's what she means by her words. I smile sadly to her in reply.
"Well…" She says loudly, changing the sad subject. "It's a long time no see for you!" I laugh briefly, realizing it has been longer then usual since my last visit.
"Just been busy." I reply.
"I'm sure you have." She replies with a quick, almost unnoticeable wink. "So what's new for the Hawthorns?" She asks, smiling broadly.
"Nothing mu-"
I stop mid-sentence, contemplating the one person I can trust the most besides Prim and Gale. Should I tell her? Of the baby? I realize the only people we have told is our own family. I find my lips forming a wide smile before I can stop them, the next words slip before I can do anything about it-
"I'm pregnant." I say with a wide excited smile, dropping my other sentence completely.
"Oh my goodness!" She shouts, loud enough for the vendors around us to turn slightly, giving us a questioning look.
"What's all this 'oh my gosh'n' about!?"
I turn around to see a Peacekeeper, Lance standing directly behind me, throwing his hands in the air at mock of Greasy Sea's loud remark.
Besides Darius, he's one of my favorites, being around the same age as him. He looks like he could be straight out of the seam, with his straight black hair and olive skin. Only his eyes are a piercing blue. He has a funny attitude much like Darius, being funnier then him at times. I've only come across him at times though, not saying much to each other.
"She's pregnant!" Greasy Sae shouts.
I say this for the first time since I've known Greasy Sae, most of my life, but I have the urge to come behind her booth and slap her on the back of her head, hard. If there is one thing I know about Lance, is that he's extremely close with Darius, and if Darius finds out? Forget it, the whole district will know in a matter of minutes. I sigh loudly, letting my jaw tighten before I can stop it.
"Well, well, well. Someone had a little, too much fun." He responds, winking seductively at me. I scowl at him. "Just joking with you girlie." He adds, holding his hands up in mock surrender.
He treads off, laughing to himself as he goes. All I can do is pray he won't tell Darius, I'm sure he will though. Greasy Sae must read my disappointed reaction.
"Was I not supposed to tell?" She asks, sounding like an innocent little girl.
"Doesn't matter." I say, setting the coins down on her booth, stacking them.
"Well it sure does if I wasn' supposed to!" She counters back, eyeing my dropped gaze.
"Really, it doesn't." I respond, half way honest. People will learn soon enough, I won't be able to hide a baby bump.
Hide? The word sticks in my head suddenly, forgetting the scene around me. Why am I trying to hide this? Sure, it wasn't planned or necessarily 'wanted' but why would I hide this news that most people take joyfully. It's happy news.
"Really Sae." I add after a few brief seconds of silence, adding a hint of a smile.
"Ok." She responds, returning a bigger smile.
I quickly make my way through the Hob, picking up some yarn for Hazel as a sort of 'thanks' for being such a big help as they stay with us. I haven't (or Gale) needed to cook dinner once since she and the kids have been here, she's done most of the laundry and sweeping too. I pick up a few near spoiled vegetables for cheap and call it done.
I make my way quickly down the seam, worrying about Gale. I have no doubt he's fine, but there's always worry when it comes to the people we love. I enter the house at the smell of something, sweet. I find Hazel bent over the stove, humming as she stirs something in a large pot. I clear my throat, at the realization that she didn't hear me enter, setting my game bag down on the counter and pulling out the few vegetables I was able to get. Hazel notices me, running up to me and holding out something in the palm of her hand. Her cheerful, giddy expression written across her face.
"It's ours!" She says, laughing with glee. I realize the object in her hand is a key, a rusted brown key. "The house is filthy but I'm going to start cleaning it after I make this pie!" She says, gesturing with her head towards the stove.
"That's great, Mrs. Hazel!" I reply honestly. But I can't argue that I'm going to miss them, but I can't argue about having my bed back either.
I pull out the yarn I purchased from the Hob for her, which if course she accepts with the most grateful heart. I always wish I could have an attitude like that, but in away I'm glad I don't. Having that type of personality gets you nothing in this district.
"I went to the Hob this morning.." She says, walking back to the stove. "The people are so rude there!" She lets out.
I hold in my slight laugh at the thought of sweet Hazel in the Hob. Her words echo my exact thoughts about her attitude. Of course the people would come off as rude to her, they're no where near nice in that place. I've even seen Greasy Sae get hostile with a few customers before.
"They can be." I reply, taking off my coat and finding the hook on the wall.
"Well, the pie is cooking and I'm going to make a quick trip to the house if you don't mine, now that your hear with Gale." She speaks, turning to my gaze.
I reply with an 'of course' and she's out the door before I can say anything else, she adds though that Posy's in the backyard playing.
I walk into the living room to find Gale, sitting completely upright in the large chair in the corner. One of his arms wrapped in a make-shift sling, the scare on his forehead remarkably noticeable. His skin though looks better, every time I see him.
"Hi." I say, getting his attention to his dropped gaze at his book in his lap.
"Hey, Catnip." He replies.
I laugh briefly at his old nickname for me, remembering the old tale of how it came to be. I walk over to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips.
"What'cha reading?" I ask, pulling away our embrace.
Gale doesn't say anything but instead shuts the book, handing it to me. It's old, I can tell immediately. The top cover is barley hanging on and the written words on top are faded. I read the title-
'Victors Of Panem'
I look up to Gale who's studying me closely, raising his eyebrows at me as our eyes meet.
"Posy found it next door." He says, raising his eyebrows at me again.
I realize now, that that home could hold a lot of answers to our endless questions, and this book could be a start. I read the fine print beneath the title
'1-68'
Obviously mentioning it contains information about the Victors between the first and sixty eighth games. Even though I have no interest in the past Victors of the cruel Hunger Game's, I am interested in seeing if the book contains anything about the mysterious 'Mr. Hawk'.
"Open it." Gale tells me. I do just that, finding a written note on the front page. "Read it." Gale adds.
I do what he says again, finding the brief note a little difficult at the neatly hand written cursive-
'Look in the most unlikeliest places brother, that's where you'll find it.
You're brother,
Coriolanus Snow.'
I read the very last part, a date signed roughly five years ago, though the book looks much older. It's stamped with the Capitol seal in red wax at the end of the page. I turn my gaze back up to Gale who's looking at me with a shocked expression, eyebrows raised yet again. He takes the book back with his good arm from my grasp, flipping through the pages while setting it on his lap-
"It's in a different language, some kind of…" He trails off, continuing to let the pages flip.
The book it quite thick, considering what it's about. I walk to the side of the chair, watching as Gale quickly flips through it. It seems every so page is a picture, of a past Victor, accompanied by their story I'm guessing. Gale was right, the words are not written in our language. He flips to the very last page of the book, holding it up to show me, it has another short written note on it-
'For the color of blood is darker then the darkest berry.
C. S.'
"That's just damn right creepy." I say, letting the words come out before I even thought them, though their true.
Gale laughs, loudly at my words. Shaking his head 'yes' in answer. It does though, I find the words creepy, especially coming from our evil President, and now with this strange mans disappearance? I cross my arms, trying to hide my thoughts from Gale.
"Posy's our new sniff dog." Gale says, closing the book and slamming it on the side table.
I laugh briefly at his words. Gale opens his good arm at me, no doubt wanting me to curl into him, to which I want to. I'm hesitant though, with his burns.
"Katniss, you really are stubborn aren't you?" He says jokingly, holding out his arm further.
With this, at the thought of Gale thinking I'm 'stubborn' I take his offer up on holding me. I take off my high heels (that I hate) and carefully sit in his lap, it doesn't appear to hurt him, he only shifts his broken arm a bit. I wrap one arm around his neck while his arm wraps around me. It feels good, in the quietness of the house, being finally alone with Gale. My fingers quickly find his hair while his hand finds my arm, rubbing it with gentle strokes.
"How do you feel?" He asks me, I assume about the baby.
I think about his question, how do I feel? It's true what I told my mother, I haven't had nausea in sometime, neither anymore symptoms. I smile boldly at Gale before answering.
"Great." I reply, no knowing any other words to speak in answer.
We sit there, enjoying our embrace. Gale doesn't respond to my answer but smiles. It's peaceful, the sound of the birds chirping outside and… that's it. It seems odd though now, being alone with each other in our own home, but there's something calming about it, soothing.
"So what do you think we should name her or him?" Gale asks me after several minutes of quietness, bringing his lips to my neck in a single kiss.
Names?
I sigh at the thought of having to pick a name for our unborn child, something I thought I'd never do, never want to do. But somehow I find myself excited for it, being flooded with the idea of naming him after our fathers. But they would be to painful, I'd always be reminded of my father. To add, I'd never want to name my own child after someone who has died, I never want them associated with death. A too common thing in this country.
"I don't know." I reply, rubbing my fingers gently in his dark hair.
A thought hits me after his words, just the other day when Prim had asked Gale what names he liked, he replied with the name 'Amethyst'. But his tone was almost sad, as though the name meant something to him, rather then just a name he thought was pretty.
"Amethyst?" I say, almost in a whisper. "Remember, you said you liked that name." I tell him, my voice louder.
"Oh." He replies, dropping his gaze to the necklace around my neck. "Yeah, I do."
"Why?" I press on, hoping he'll tell me whatever he's not.
"I don't kno-"
"Don't lie to me!" I joke (but serious), mimicking his tone from just last night.
He looks up in my eyes, pain shows. Not physical pain, emotional pain. What meaning does this name hold? It hold something, and I'll be damned if Gale doesn't tell me. He starts to stutter, dropping his gaze after a few failed attempts.
"Tell me Gale." I say, gently.
"It's really nothing… just…" He starts to trail off, pain being ever so evident. I rub the back of his head with my fingers, trying to relax him. "Just…. Really Katniss, it's stupid." He says, sounding more of a plead then a spoken sentence.
I keep my vision intently on his, trying to read through his thoughts. But I can't, I can't read him as well as he can me. I sigh angrily, which he catches.
"Why do you care so much!?" Gale lashes out suddenly, taking me by surprise. I try to remain calm still..
"Because it's bothering you, Gale!" I reply, the calmest I can.
"A girl, Katniss! I had a life before you!" He says suddenly again, tightening his jaw. He swallows hard before speaking again. "A few years ago…" He drops his gaze to the floor. "I really liked this girl. We were serious with each other, being honest together about a life, like we have." He looks back to me. "But she got reaped, before we could. I did love her, but instead I had to watch her get the life beaten out of her on live television!" He says, tightening his jaw even tighter. He starts shaking his head, complete rage coursing through him.
I stop from studying Gale, and to his words. I remember, a girl named Amethyst Weave. She was reaped two years back, dying at the blood bath of the games. Should I be shocked at Gale's words? Worried about the girls before me? No… to neither. I take his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.
"It's ok." I speak, trying to calm him of his anger, his rage that he must have for the Capitol, for the cruel world to which we live in. He rest his head on my shoulder, sighing heavily.
"But then we wouldn't be together." He says, to himself technically. No doubt playing different scenarios in his head, seeing we wouldn't be together if she had lived.
I don't answer, I only continue to let my fingers run through his dark hair. It calms him. He's quiet for a while before his next words. He lifts his head from my shoulder, bringing his face just inches from mine-
"But I love you now, I wouldn't undo it." He speaks, sounding nothing like himself.
"I love you too"
XX
I somehow managed to get his mind off of this girl and back to reality by telling him the complete and unabridged story of how Prim's cat came to be, and how I tried to drown him. Gale listens intently even though I've told him this story a thousand times, laughing with the story, the pain disappearing in his eyes.
"I'm back!" Hazel shouts from the front door in the kitchen.
"In here!" I respond, letting her know of our whereabouts.
The sound of multiple footfall on the wood floors indicates that school must be over, judging by the sunlight from the window it only seems to be around two, maybe half after. School must have gotten out early. Low and behold I'm right when I see Prim enter her bedroom and the boys and Rhoda up the stairs. She wears a slight smile, Vick carrying her books. I smile myself, at the thought of her different this little girls day might have been without me, without us.
I remove myself from Gale's lap, planting one more quick kiss on his lips before leaving, walking into Prim's bedroom. I regret it instantly as I open the door-
Hiss…
Instantly there's a sharp pain on my ankle, I look down to see no other then Buttercup trying to take a beating to my foot.
"Buttercup!" Prim shouts, scooping him up before I can do anything. "Sorry." She mumbles quickly to me.
I ignore the slight pain coursing through my ankle and foot and focus on my main goal of coming in here.
"We need to talk." I say gently to Prim, whose swaying that damn cat back and forth in her arms.
She moves her gaze to mine, her blue eyes sparkling. She's almost as tall as me and looks older then her ripe age of thirteen. She shoots me a smile, shaking her head 'yes'. I leave the room, letting her set Buttercup down before he could bite me again. Once she rejoins me I lead her to the front porch, each taking a rocking chair beside the other.
I look to her, her blue eyes standing out amongst most people of the seam, her blond hair neatly braided down her back which she no longer needs my help for and her clothes… much 'tighter' then I remember them being. She's no longer 'little' but indeed growing up before my very eyes.
"I'm sorry for lashing out on you yesterday." Prim says through my thoughts, no doubt realizing I'm taking in the sight of her.
"It's ok, but it's not okay what you said." I begin- "Prim, I know your older now but I will always be your sister, your big sister." She sits up straighter as I continue my words. "It's my job to care for you, to look after you, no matter how old you are or how much your growing. Your always be that little girl to me-"
"But I'm not Katniss, that's the point.." She cuts me off. "Your still treating me like that starving, helpless, defenseless little girl that I was!" She says, stressing the word immensely.
Even as much as I want to not believe her words, she's absolutely right.
"I know. I guess Prim.." I take a deep, loud breath. "I've spent all these years after dads death doing nothing more then caring for you, you being everything I cared about. It turned into a 'coping mechanism' for me I assume. I guess it's just hard for me Prim, to see you don't need me anymore."
"I'll always need you-"
"Yes, but not like before, not like you use to. You are growing up, and I'm sorry I haven't realized it enough." I speak, dropping my gaze to her hands that are neatly folded in her lap.
"Katniss, it's okay." She says.
"It's not okay, Prim." I bring my gaze back into hers. "I've been trying so hard to prevent you turning into the bad qualities that our mom and I have to offer." I feel tears pooling in my eyes. "You're so smart for your age Prim, you have dad's kind heart and patience, Mom's healing hands, my fight." I speak.
She forms a small smile, a grateful one. I return it, knowing the words I spoke are true, but…
"But I never wanted you to get our mothers depression or my stubbornness." I add. Immediately her eyebrows form a crease in between them, shaking her head.
"Katniss you're not stubborn!" She says, sounding confident.
"No, Prim, I am. I'm hard headed and I never wanted you to turn into that. I'm a hard person Prim and I don't want that for you." I answer, knowing the words I speak yet again are true, even if their hard.
"But you're not-"
"I am." I say, cutting her off again. "I judge people before I know them. When I saw you lash out at me yesterday, it was like looking into a mirror for me, you looked nothing like yourself but instead me. Then I turned around and did exactly that, lashing out at mom before I thought of my words and actions. Prim…" I say, taking her hand in mine. "You have so much to offer in this world, I don't want to see that taken away from you." I finish, letting a lone, silent tear fall from my cheek.
Before I'm fully aware of it she has her arms wrapped tightly around me, squeezing me softly. I know that all, every single word I spoke was true. Prim does have a lot to offer, I don't want to see her taking after myself. I hug her tightly, wishing there would be a day when I wouldn't have to let go.
XX
That sound of Posy coming up the porch stairs break us from our embrace. Her forehead plastered with sweat and her toys hanging from her hands.
"It's hot!" She exclaims, slamming her toys on the ground with a loud thump.
Prim and I both laugh, obvious to the 'not-so-hot' weather. Were two days shy of September, there's a nice breeze of fall air, chilly at times. She shoots us a quick look, walking back inside and calling for her mother.
Prim and I talk for a few more minutes, about life in general. About the baby some. It feels good to have this conversation with my sister, I never seem to find time for anymore, not like I use to.
I walk back inside with Prim to find Hazel getting a load full of laundry ready for washing. I decide to help her considering it's my house and my sheets and clothing she's starting on. Hazel and I grab all the dirty clothing and grab the blood stained sheets from the mattress, going out back to where the wash board and water spout is. It's peaceful, soothing work. We don't talk much, the sound of chirping birds, children's laughter and the sound of wind rustling through the near by trees occupy the silence. I can tell Hazel's enjoying it too, by the look of peacefulness written across her face.
After a good thirty, forty minutes of scrubbing all the clothing and sheets they're finally put into the large wicker basket, ready to be hung on the line. I volunteer to hang them since she did most of the washing. She accepts, claming she needs to check on the children. I smile, grabbing the large basket and taking it to the side of the house where two large, long clothes line wires hang. For some reason I've always found it calming, hanging clothes on the line, possibly because my father and I would do it together. Me on his shoulder's as I was too short to reach the wire myself.
I grab the tiny hooks and begin pinning clothes and sheets to it, letting the breeze rustle through my hair. I'm nearly done when I see Darius coming up the Seam road, obviously coming to visit Gale. I remember what he said yesterday, saying just that.
"Hey, Katniss." Darius says as he approaches, the look of pain and grief missing from his eyes.
"Hey." I reply, pinning a now clean sheet to the almost full line.
Darius asks me how Gale is doing, to which I reply well. He listens intently as I tell him everything that's happened yesterday with him, he comments on how well and fast he's healing-
"He is." I reply. "You can go in and see him if you want." I add, pinning one of the last clothes to the line.
"It's okay, I don't want to bother him." He answers, watching my hands and arms as they stretch to reach the wire.
"You won't, he was sitting up in the chair when I came out here." I reply, my arms stretching completely to reach the higher end of the line.
"Well, maybe I didn't come to see just him- Do you need some help, shortie?" He asks, laughing at his little 'nickname'. I scowl at him.
"No!" I answer, getting the word out quick as I stand on my tip toes.
"I think you do." He says.
Before I can stop him he yanks the sheet out from my hands, letting the pin drop to the grassy ground, also yanking the entire wire from the two poles on either end of the property.
"Good going!" I say, more jokingly then serious. I'm upset though that I have to redo most of the line, pinning the wire back into place as well.
"It's you're fault, clumsy." He counters back, shaking his head violently.
"My fault!?" I ask, jokingly again.
"Yep, it's cause you're short and stubborn." He says, shaking out the sheet in his hands.
"I'm not stubborn!" I joke back, although I am. (But not this time)
"It's okay, you're good looks make up for it." He answers, winking seductively at me.
"I'm going to hurt you one day." I say, scowling again at him as I attempt to take the sheet back, he yanks it from my reach before I could get it.
He steps closer to me, bringing his face just inches from mine.
"I'm pretty sure I can take all ninety pounds of you, even if you are pregnant." He says, winking again. 'Damn Lance', I think to myself. "They teach us in the academy how to fight, especially those girls like you." He adds, lowing his voice to a whisper, bringing his head even closer to mine.
"Like me?" I ask, raising my eyebrows and crossing my arms, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the tight space in between us.
"Yep. 'The hot ones are always the roughest'." He answers, sounding like he's quoting it. From the way and tone he uses, it doesn't sound like he's talking about fighting any longer.
Before I'm aware of it or can react, I feel his lips press against my own passionately. . . . .
Chapter 23 Preview: What will Katniss think about this kiss? Will she tell her husband, or hide it in fear of damaging their marriage? But is she the only one witnessing this so called kiss? What will Katniss do about the kiss? What will take place when Rory tags along hunting? Will Katniss accept this new job offer, or turn in down in fear? What other strange and mysterious things will she find in the home next door? And will little Rhoda ever find a new forever home? What do YOU think will happen? Find it all out Sunday!