Hello everyone! Soooo I should have this all uploaded in time for Christmas, but I have more news! Since the December AU/Trope prompt for the Gabriel Monthly Challange is something I have been playing around with anyway, I might be posting ANOTHER Christmas full-length fic. I'll be working on the outline today and start work on it tomorrow ^_^ It's going to be Debriel!

This has been edited by QueenOfHearts!

Chapter Two

It was surprisingly easy to convince Dean to decorate the bunker. All it took was mentioning how they could use the excuse to have a huge feast and that Jack had come up with the idea. Just like when they were younger, Dean was protective of Jack since he got to know the Nephilim. He was still a bit rough around the edges with the kid, but Dean protected and wanted to provide for the young man just as he had his little brother.

"And when you pass through the doorway with this hanging over you need to kiss whoever is there with you? What if it's someone you don't like?"

Turning to Jack who was holding up a bundle of mistletoe, Sam laughed. "Even if it's someone you don't like you still have to kiss. You don't need to make out with them, Jack, a quick peck on the cheek counts." Jack nodded before securing the mistletoe to the doorway, having just finished decorating the war room. Dean had left earlier to get a tree with Castiel, the angel wanting to help pick out the evergreen for their home.

Several of the other residents of the bunker had pitched in, gathering decorations and placing them throughout the rooms. What Sam had initially thought would be one or two decorations turned into the whole bunker looking like Christmas. Though he pretended otherwise, it made him happy to believe that they might have a chance at an authentic celebration that year. The only thing that was missing was the archangel he refused to think about.

It was hard trying to eliminate Gabriel from his thoughts during a holiday where he had a leading role. There wasn't a store or radio station that wasn't playing Christmas music, and in some were references to the archangel nobody but them knew was dead. The nightmares had started again, turning his four hours of sleep into three as he remembered those vacant whiskey-colored eyes looking up to the sky as Gabriel's vessel lay there unmoving.

"Now all we need is for Dean and Castiel to come back with the tree, and we can finish decorating. Thank you for allowing us the chance to celebrate this year, Sam."

Shaking his head, Sam turned his full attention to the Nephilim. "You were right, Jack, we should have thought of celebrating Christmas with everyone here. It's a chance for us all to slow down for a bit and enjoy being with so many people, something that we seem to be taking for granted lately." Jack smiled before finishing up placing some garland on the edge of the tables.

It didn't take long for Dean to return, and with both him and Castiel dragging the tree they were able to put it in place in the library. They had drawn names for Secret Santa, and by the time Christmas rolled in the space under the tree would be filled with presents. Laughing as Jack tackled stringing the lights around the tree, helped by a few of the younger hunters, Sam leaned back against the wall beside Dean with a drink in hand.

They did well, circling the tree which was placed in the corner of the room, though out just enough that you could walk behind it. Garland and tinsel covered most of the green areas, leaving the branches holding small ornaments Dean had picked up along with the tree. It wasn't perfect; some of the limbs were lopsided, and they should have allowed the tree to settle before trying to decorate it, but it was more than they ever had growing up.

Taking a swig of his whiskey and eggnog, Sam shared a grin with Dean who was watching Jack fondly. Castiel was trying to explain the origins of Christmas and how things really happened to an eager to learn Nephilim. A group of hunters listened as well, asking questions about Mary and Jesus, wanting to know more about what had happened so long ago. Sam listened with half an ear, having already asked the angel to explain the birth of Christ years before.

It was just after Jesus was crucified that Gabriel faked his death and fled Heaven. Closing his eyes at the thought of the archangel, Sam glanced up at the tree which was all but done except the very top. Waiting for Castiel to finish speak, Sam gestured to the top of the tree. "Did you forget to get an angel or star for the top?" Castiel glared and Dean choked a bit into his drink.

"Dean purchased a star, though I do not know why it isn't in place." Dean who had managed to get air back into his lungs smirked at the angel in the room.

"I thought we could try to hoist Cas up there; he could be our little tree-topper." Castiel glared, a flash of real anger behind his eyes which soon turned into sorrow for a moment before he turned away. Dean must have seen the same expression as he winced, rubbing the back of his head before nodding toward the box of ornaments he had brought in. "It should be in there, though you might want to put it on Sammy. Not sure anyone else would be able to reach without knocking the tree over."

Setting his glass down, Sam made his way to the box and inside was a golden star. It had small LED lights around the edge and a cord hanging from the bottom to attach to the rest of the fairy lights. Hooking the ornament up, Sam reached to the top of the tree and placed it securely on the tallest branch. Glancing at the bulbs which hung from the multitude of branches, he saw one with a painted angel that made him wish that their family was whole for Christmas.

As far as he was concerned, they were missing an archangel. Once again forcing the thoughts of Gabriel aside, Sam sighed heavily as the star shone radiantly while Jack plugged in the colored lights. It glimmered, the lights seeming to make it sparkle while glitter covered the golden frame. Stepping back, Sam took in the sight of the tree in all its glory.

Going back to his spot after refilling his glass, Sam allowed his mind to wonder if Gabriel would have enjoyed decorating the bunker or not. He couldn't picture the archangel not loving throwing glitter around and being able to prank people with mistletoe. He would have embraced showing Jack how to hang the wreath properly and would have teased Castiel for questioning the existence of Santa.

It would have been perfect, filled with laughter only the trickster-archangel could bring. Perhaps then Sam wouldn't feel so hollow. What was once a dull ache that appeared years ago when Gabriel first 'died' protecting them had been ripped open with his most recent death. He had tried to bury the feelings deep, to convince himself that he felt nothing for the archangel.

Finding Gabriel and Rowena had forced him to confront how he felt. Though he had no claim on the archangel, he had wanted to rip Rowena apart for touching him, for taking what didn't belong to her. After they returned to the bunker, Sam was going to tell Gabriel, to try and work something out if what he had with Rowena was just sex. Then Gabriel had died and with it all thoughts of being able to be with the one he was growing to love.

Laughing when prompted, Sam sat and drank with those in the bunker, trying to feel a semblance of the joy like the others. Even Dean was happy, his eyes twinkling in a way Sam hadn't seen in years, but all he could think about was his missing archangel and the hole in his chest whenever he was reminded of those burnt wings on the ground.

Glancing at the star atop the tree, Sam wished that he could have Gabriel back. Even if it never amounted to anything between them, Gabriel deserved to share in the warmth and joy around him. Gabriel deserved to live. For a second the star glimmered again. Though the lights along the side remained the same, the center of the star shone brightly for a moment. Shaking his head, Sam looked around, and as nobody else seemed to have seen the display, he shrugged it off before returning to the rest of the small party.

He could pretend to be whole for another few hours. It was something he had been faking since they returned home.

P.S. If you want to keep up to date on my writing add me to Facebook, Tumbler, Twitter or Instagram as CrowNoYami ;-) Also, if you want to see what I'm reading (I always review so you know what you're getting into) I'm on Goodreads as well, the same name as always.