Chapter 9 – Reluctance

Arriving back in Twilight Town went smoothly in comparison to all the excitement that had led up to it. That is, until Roxas came face to face with Ven for the first time. Naminé had to stifle a giggle as she looked between the two of them. They really were like mirror images of each other.

"Who are you?" Roxas demanded, a bewildered expression on his face.

Ven laughed and offered his hand. "You must be Roxas. Nice to meet you. I'm Ventus, but my friends all call me Ven."

Roxas stared at Ven's hand. "Why—"

"Do you have my face? Though I guess for you, it's more like why does he have my face, right?"

Roxas nodded.

"It's a long story, but I was inside Sora's heart for years. My heart stayed there when Sora became a Heartless, so my appearance shaped yours." He raised an eyebrow. "I mean, didn't you ever wonder why you don't look like Sora? You kinda do, but the resemblance isn't identical."

"Oh." Roxas took a moment to process this information. "Is that why Naminé has blonde hair, too?" He glanced at Naminé, his expression softening. "I mean, she was sorta Kairi's Nobody, but she's not a perfect match, either…"

"Yup! Now you're catching on." He offered his hand again. This time, Roxas shook it.

"Nice to meet you, uh…"

"Ven."

"Nice to meet you, Ven."

"Nice to meet you too, Roxas."

And that was that. Roxas still seemed a bit spooked, but he took well to Ven. All things considered, he'd gotten the better end of the doppelganger deal. From the sounds of it, Sora's was kind of crazy, and Riku's wasn't much better. Naminé had felt a stab of guilt at the news that the Riku Replica was still around, and it had taken a lot of careful explaining to a very confused Sora to fill him in on what had happened.

Naminé was lucky they trusted her. She had the power to unravel all of their memories and reduce them to empty shells of themselves, and yet they were treating her like a friend.

That drove her to work even harder at bringing back everyone's memories of that girl Sora kept talking about instead, the one that brought Lea a strange pain every time she was mentioned. Roxas didn't remember her name, or who she was, but he at least could describe what she looked like. Naminé found herself nodding off more and more often, but she insisted on continuing, taking breaks only to rest and eat.

Her heart seemed to be holding to her new body okay, as was Roxas's, though Ansem the Wise still insisted on monitoring them, just to be sure. She had to give it to him. Not only had he been instrumental in rescuing them, he'd insisted on continuing to help them and had even apologized for the way he'd treated them before.

It wasn't long before he called a group meeting with everyone. They gathered in the dusty dining hall of the Old Mansion, sitting on various couches and chairs dragged in from where they could find them. Some were broken or lumpy, like the rest of the mysteriously damaged mansion, but they got the job done.

Naminé sat next to Roxas, and the two of them were cushioned next to Sora and Kairi. With so many people on the couch, Naminé had to sit very close to Roxas indeed, so much so that their legs were touching. But Roxas didn't seem to mind, not at all. And truth be told, Naminé didn't, either. It was a nice feeling, sitting next to him and knowing she didn't have to go through Kairi and Sora first to reach him.

When talk switched to their roles in the upcoming conflict, Roxas was ready and willing to fight, and Sora assigned to train him. But Naminé was a different story.

"I want to help, but… I don't know how much of a fighter I'll make." She pressed her fingers together the way she always did when she was explaining something. "I don't think I'm suited to that kind of thing."

She knew better than to think she would make some kind of great warrior. She was… well, pretty frail, to be honest. There was no getting around that. Her greatest powers were over the heart and mind, not the body.

"Kairi has a Keyblade," Ansem the Wise pointed out. "It stands to reason you could have one too. We have several qualified masters in this very room who could perform the ceremony."

Naminé chewed on her lip. "I suppose… I should at least learn how to defend myself."

"Naminé," Kairi began, and Naminé looked at her expectantly. "You've got other powers too. Could you use those?"

"My powers over memory, you mean?"

Kairi nodded. "So long as someone's connected to Sora, they work, right?"

Naminé's fingers balled into fists pressed against her legs. "Yes, but… I don't… I don't want to undo anyone ever again." She closed her eyes. "Please, don't ask me to."

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Where did that threat to Saïx come from, then?"

"Oh…" Her face flushed. "Well, I couldn't just let him take you from us. If I had to, I suppose I could use my powers against our enemies, but…"

It was one thing to fight someone, another to pull them apart from the inside, piece by piece, unchaining the memories in their heart till there was nothing left but an empty shell.

"What if you didn't use your powers to do that?" Kairi asked. "What if you used them to strengthen the connections in people's hearts instead? Many of the Seekers have people they love. Or used to love. Some of them even have direct connections to us. Lea and Isa. Ven and Vanitas. Terra and Aqua. Maybe… Maybe if they remembered, it would break the hold Xehanort has on them."

Naminé pursed her lips. "It's worth trying. I'd have to be nearby, but I think I could do it."

Roxas smiled. "I'm sure you could. You were there for me when I was trying to figure out who I was."

Naminé's gaze traveled to her lap, because the way Roxas was looking at her right now was making it difficult to pay attention to anyone else. There was more talk that she tried to pay attention to, and in the end, she agreed to undergo basic Keyblade training with Riku once she'd finished restoring everyone's memories of the mysterious girl. She stressed that she mainly just wanted to learn how to defend herself. Unlike everyone else in the group, she had no actual fighting experience, and she was well aware of her limitations.

They received word from Yen Sid that the Princesses of Heart were still safely hidden. Originally he'd wanted them to be relocated, but going to them now ran too high a risk of detection, so he'd decided to keep them where they were.

Mickey, Donald, and Goofy returned to Disney Castle to repair the damage and bring its citizens home, and Ven and Aqua went on an intel-gathering mission to figure out where Terra might be being held captive.

Naminé listened as Sora, Kairi, and Riku said goodbye to them in the main hall.

"You think you might find him?" Sora asked, his eyes bright. "Aqua, Ven, that's great! Maybe if he sees both of you, that'll be enough to help him break Xehanort's control for good!"

"Yeah. It's worth a shot, anyway," Ven said.

"If you guys do find him, let us know as soon as possible," Riku said. "I know what it's like to fight the darkness for control of yourself, and I want to help him."

The time was coming to launch the mission to rescue him, after all, but that required actually knowing where he was, so off they went. Everyone else remained in Twilight Town, training and preparing for the upcoming battle while Naminé continued her work.

Naminé rested her head in her hands. She was back in her old haunt, the White Room. Her pictures were scattered along the wall and table. The new sketchpad and pencils Sora, Kairi, and Riku had given her had gotten plenty of use already.

It felt good to draw again, to take the ideas floating around in her mind and give them physical form. The links binding people's hearts together – she could see them so clearly. Sora could, too, and had even figured out how to access them, but he was a rare exception. So Naminé's art was her way of showing the world the vast universe inside her mind.

Her task at hand, though, was to fulfill Sora's request. She and Riku weren't the only ones with unchained memories of the mysterious girl he'd spoken of. Roxas and Lea had memories of her, too. Putting those memories back together, on top of the ones she and Riku had, would take time.

And there was something else. Naminé knew it shouldn't be a big deal, but the thoughts came to her unbidden anyway. She had finally found a friend in Roxas, and if she was being completely honest with herself, hopefully something more. But what would happen when the mysterious girl came back? He had the most memories of her, the strongest ones. In Naminé's mind's eye, she could picture them as she linked them back together, one by one.

Would he still want to be her friend once he'd gotten his old friend back?

Don't be silly, Naminé. He can have more than one friend.

But even as she tried to reason with herself, doubt made its way inside her heart. This girl was clearly important to Roxas, and nothing Naminé could do would change that.

Unless…

No. A sick feeling crawled into her stomach at the thought even entering her mind. She'd sworn she would never use her powers again to undo someone, to make them forget. So she diligently strung more memories together, even as her heart and mind were filled with anxiety.

What if… what if she really would lose Roxas? What if this girl's return meant they would grow apart?

Just like Sora remembering Kairi had lost Naminé the one friend she'd finally made.

I just… I don't want to be alone again.

"It's okay, we can try again."

Riku was infinitely patient. Naminé had agreed to take a break to create a Keyblade of her own, but it wasn't working. She'd tried, over and over again, only for her hands to grasp thin air each time.

She lowered her arms and clasped them behind her back. "No, it's alright. I think my heart can tell I don't really want to fight."

Riku paused to wipe the sweat from his brow. The twilight sun was surprisingly warm, shining down on the two of them as they tried to get Naminé's heart to cooperate in the courtyard of the Old Mansion.

"Don't think of it as fighting," Riku said. "Think of it as protecting the people you love instead." He summoned his own Keyblade and held it out for her to see. "This is a tool. On its own, it isn't good or bad. It's what I do with it that matters. Kind of like your powers."

Naminé pursed her lips. "I'm not sure my powers are good."

Riku studied her for a long moment, then let his Keyblade disappear. "Alright, break time. We're going for a walk."

They strolled through the woods by the Old Mansion. The pine needles formed a fragrant carpet beneath their feet, and dappled light shone through the trees. It was nice to be outside for once, instead of trapped in a cold, sterile building. Not that the Old Mansion was either of those things, but being outdoors was a different feeling altogether from being inside.

"Naminé, what's your happiest memory?" Riku asked.

"My... happiest memory?"

Her life had been very short so far. And… there hadn't been much good in it. But that made her cherish the few good things even more. Sora's many moments of kindness, Kairi's unconditional acceptance, Riku helping her escape from Ansem the Wise…

But the times she'd been completely happy, without a trace of the bittersweet melancholy that plagued even moments like Sora thanking her, were her reunions with Roxas. Well, at least before. Even they brought her no comfort now, knowing they might grow apart when his friend came back.

"Riku, I don't know if I really have any," she finally said. "Even my happy memories are sad now."

He frowned. "Sad? Why is that?"

"You… you can't tell anyone else what I'm about to tell you. Promise?" She held out her pinkie, and he solemnly hooked his around hers.

"Promise."

He settled against a pine tree and crossed his arms, waiting for her to speak again.

"The thing is… I've found something, about the girl Sora told us about. The memories Roxas has of her… well, I think she was someone very important to him."

"Someone very important to him, huh? I wonder what made him forget her, then."

"I don't know. But he'll remember her soon. And when he does… he'll… he'll…" She turned away from Riku to try to compose herself. It wouldn't do to start crying in front of him.

Riku touched her arm. "Naminé, what's wrong?" he asked gently. His kindness was too much, and tears welled up in her eyes.

"He'll forget me," she choked out.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because… because the same thing happened with Sora." She hated how pitiful her voice sounded. She hated how petty and jealous she was.

"Naminé, look at me."

She turned back around. His eyes were beautiful in the twilight, their natural aquamarine brilliant against the soft golds and yellows and pinks that shone through the trees in dappled patterns of light. And the soft and tender look he was giving her – she couldn't help but pay attention to what he was about to say.

"Sora's decision to remember Kairi and forget you doesn't say anything about you as a person," he said. "The only girl for him has always been Kairi."

"Yes, but—"

"And I bet Roxas will still want to be your friend, even after the other girl comes back. You're not even giving him the chance. You've just made up his mind for him already."

Naminé considered this. It was possible what he was saying was true, but she couldn't bring herself to believe it.

"And if he doesn't?" she asked, her voice small.

Riku wore a very serious expression. "Tell you what, you can come to me if that happens. I'm not the best with feelings, but I am pretty good at listening."

Naminé smiled sadly. "You say that, and yet here you are, trying to comfort me."

Riku shrugged. "Guess it helps that I have a complete sap for a best friend."

"Guess so."

"I mean it though," he continued, his voice earnest in a way that reminded her of Sora. "You can come talk to me whenever."

"Thank you, Riku."

"Anytime." He straightened. "Now what do you say we try summoning your Keyblade again?"

"How did I summon my Keyblade for the first time?" Kairi repeated. She set down the book she was reading and tapped her temple. "Hmmm… I guess I just wanted to protect Sora so badly that it answered my call. Well, that and Riku helped me."

Naminé frowned. She still wasn't having any luck summoning her Keyblade, despite all of Riku's help. During one of her breaks, she'd stolen away to ask Kairi for advice. She'd found her in the library, studying books about the ancient Keyblade War in the hopes it would help them prepare for the upcoming conflict.

"Here, sit," Kairi said, patting the chair next to her. Naminé complied, and Kairi rested her chin on her hands and looked her straight in the eye. "Who do you want to protect?"

That was easy enough to answer. "Roxas. But he doesn't really need my help anymore, does he?"

"What makes you say that? I know I'll never be a match for Sora physically, but his heart needs protecting as much as his body. That's where I come in. He always used to tell me that I'm his light in the darkness."

There was a wistfulness to Kairi's tone that didn't escape Naminé's notice.

"What do you mean, used to?" she asked.

Kairi fidgeted with the book. "Oh, um, I mean, he still tells me that."

"Kairi, when was the last time?"

Kairi paused and hung her head. "It's… it's been a while."

Naminé frowned. It couldn't be that Sora's feelings for Kairi had changed. That seemed about as likely as Xehanort promising never to hurt anyone again. She quickly checked just to make sure. As she suspected, the links between Sora and Kairi were still there, there was just something straining them. Some kind of tension pulling on both sides.

Should she tell Kairi, or...

"He's been aloof lately. I can't get him to tell me what's bothering him." Kairi sighed and put her head in her hands. "Something's eating away at him, and I don't know what it is. I don't know how to help him."

Naminé felt a pang of guilt. Sora was pushing Kairi away for some reason, and what he was doing was hurting her. How was what she was doing to Roxas any different? The more memories she recovered of the mysterious girl, the harder she found it to be around him. It had gotten to the point where she could hardly even talk to him anymore. He was so busy training with Sora that he hadn't noticed yet, but he was bound to pick up on her behavior eventually.

She put a sympathetic hand on Kairi's shoulder to get her mind off of her own problems. "Kairi, I think he's happy just to have you with him."

"That's what he says, but it still doesn't feel like it's good enough."

"I know I'm not really one to talk," Naminé finally said, "but maybe you should confront him about it."

"Yeah." Kairi sighed, then smiled sadly at her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to involve you in all this. You came to me for help, but you ended up helping me in the end." She placed her hand on top of Naminé's. "And about your Keyblade, it'll happen when it's meant to happen. I didn't summon mine for the first time till more than ten years after Aqua first gave me the ability. I mean, it was an accident on her end, but still. I'd say you're doing just fine."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Kairi." She stood.

"Off to go train some more?"

"No. I need to keep working on everyone's memories."

Kairi's eyebrows knotted. "Don't push yourself too hard, okay? I know it must be a lot of work, putting so many people's memories back together."

"I won't."

Naminé didn't mention that the real emotional toll came from knowing that with each memory she recovered, Roxas was that much closer to remembering the person who was truly important to him. It didn't matter what Riku had said. What place would Naminé have in his life once she returned?

Better hurry up and finish the job, before I have the chance to spoil his happiness.

Because… more than anything, I just want him to be happy.

A/N: Since Sora and Riku are both Keyblade masters in this story, I figured they would eventually get students of their own. I wanted Riku's character arc in particular to involve him passing on what he's learned to someone else. It feels like a natural evolution of his character development in the games.

And a couple of my readers wondered if, in the last chapter, Sora has a special connection to Roxas because Roxas was his Nobody. What I actually intended with that scene was for it to be another example of Sora's developing powers - the same powers he used to contact Kairi near the end of Dear Sora and to try to save Terra earlier in this story. Anyone he has a connection to he can theoretically link hearts with and talk to in this manner, and the more he uses this ability the more powerful it becomes.

It's not officially in the games or anything, but Sora does like to go around saying he has the power to connect hearts, so I wanted to explore what that might actually look like. That ability will play an important role in this very story, in fact. But I do still like the idea that he and Roxas have a special connection, as do Kairi and Naminé. I may try to do something with that yet.

As always, thank you for reading and leaving me feedback! It's always great to hear from you. Have a good week!