Cayn P.O.V.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
We had gone through the entirety of Saarthal and I had predicted everything- the traps, the pillars, the back entrance, and I had forgotten the one thing that made me look like a freak. Like the Dragonborn. The Word of Power rung in my head even as we walked in silence towards the exit of Saarthal. Slen. Form. I could see Briani shivering, and could taste frost on my lips. It was the second word for the freezing shout, the one that when yelled froze my enemies solid.
It took all my willpower for me to not let the word slip from my throat. For a few moments, I felt like if I didn't Shout my body would disintegrate from the pure power. But I knew that it may give me away, the last puzzle piece in the puzzle that Briani was undoubtedly putting together in her mind. She didn't seem to realize yet, but the way she walked beside, the way she looked at me, the silence, all told that she had some suspicion. She seemed to be content to let it go though, and I was immensely grateful.
When we at last emerged from the ruin, it felt as if I hadn't seen daylight in months. I hadn't realized how depressing and downright creepy Saarthal had been. We squinted into the dull noon sun, reflecting blindingly off the blanket of snow. The seemed to almost decompress in a way, and I sucked in a refreshing breath of the clear, freezing air. I grinned despite myself, and noticed that Briani was shooting me an amused glance.
"What?" I said defensively. "It's claustrophobic in there!" I raised an eyebrow. "And it's not my first ruin. I'd think you'd be more relieved than me."
A small smile tugged at the corner of her lip, foreign on her normally stoic face. I realized with a pang of surprise that I liked it much better when she smiled. "I am more relieved." She said, a tinge of a laugh in her voice. "I just don't announce it to the world by trying to freeze my own lungs."
I chuckled, wrapping my cloak tighter around to ward off the air that was indeed frigid. But the Ice Form shout hung darkly in my thoughts. Maybe you don't. I thought bitterly. But I might. Literally.
We walked quickly, almost running, all the way back to Winterhold. When we burst into the Hall of Elements Savos Aren was standing near the wall to the side. I rushed towards him with Briani on my heels, and he whirled to face us, the panic leaving his face when he realized it was only me and her.
"What's wrong?" he said, his brow furrowing at our frantic appearance.
"In Saarthal." Briani said hurriedly. "We found- something."
At this Savos' confused frown deepened, and I elaborated. "A… globe. It radiates magicka, and has strange symbols on it. It's huge. Tolfdir wishes for you to come and investigate, and possibly help transport it back to the College."
Savos nodded. "Then I must go at once. Thank you for telling me." He smiled tiredly, stepping towards the door. "Please rest for the night. You've done much today. Goodnight." And he hurried away towards the exit.
I let out a sigh. I hadn't realized how exhausted and somewhat stressed I had been. It felt amazing to know that I had no more responsibilities for the night. I glanced at Briani, who had the same relief reflecting in her green-blue eyes. "I'm going to get something to eat." She said. "You can join me if you want." I nodded, remembering that the last time I had eaten was the apples this morning. My stomach growled in compliance, and she chuckled quietly.
We left the hall, entering out wing of the College and climbing the stairs in agreeable silence. When we arrived in the eating quarters she reached for some rabbit hanging above the other food stores before freezing. "I… I don't suppose you know how to cook?" She said, a bit sheepishly.
I raised my eyebrows in a surprised expression. I felt ashamed for stereotyping, but I had assumed she could cook. Although she didn't really seem the domestic housewife type. I resisted the urge to laugh. I should've known that with all her quirks she definitely wasn't an average girl. "Yes, a bit." I said, unable to hide the amusement in my voice. "Do you not?"
"I… I've never really had too. It wasn't my thing." She said, her voice taking the shielded edge that I knew meant she didn't want to talk about it. If I asked anymore she may shut herself out again for the night, and I didn't want to make it uncomfortable simply over her not knowing how to cook.
"Alright, alright." I said, putting my hands up in mock surrender. "I can heat up the rabbits so that they're not raw, at least." I took the rabbit from her hands, walking over the small cooking fire in the corner. I worked for a few minutes, preparing and cooking the rabbits, and in relatively short time I had small platter of hot rabbit. I put it on the table, and with a sarcastic flourish I announced in a stuffy impression of some of the housecarls I had met: "Dinner is served."
Briani snorted, but took a small piece of chicken. We ate in quiet, and I couldn't help but look at her eyes every once in a while. I couldn't still couldn't pinpoint their color. Every time I thought I figured it out, it shifted again. I was sure they were changing.
"What color are your eyes?" I asked cautiously. If she got closed up when I asked her about her cooking skills, I had no idea her reaction when I asked something that had a possibility of being more sensitive.
She sighed, setting down her food. "I wondered when you would ask. I … don't really know. They change, as you've obviously noticed." She said, her voice somehow resigned to the fact that I had in fact noticed.
"Why?" I blurted before I could stop myself. I cursed myself silently, realizing I was treading on dangerous ground. "I mean-"
"No." She looked at her hands, avoiding my eyes. "It- it's an understandable question." She went quiet for a moment, and I didn't say anything. Her eyes were shifting clearly now that I knew what was happening. She clenched her fists, seemingly trying to decide if she could trust me with the information. "I never knew, until recently." She said finally. "They change with my mood, or my thoughts. Tolfdir said that he thought it was magic." She took a slow bite of rabbit before continuing. "He said he could sense magic in me. That it's in my blood. He said that that is why I find magic so easy, so effortless. That I'm essentially a being of magic. I even radiate magicka, according to him." Her face took on a pained expression. "My father… my father used to say it was a blessing. That when I was born Magnus, the Aedra of magic, put some of his spirit in me. I guess it makes sense, I mean, it's happened before. Like how Akatosh put dragon spirit in the Dragonborn."
I flinched at the sudden mention of the Dragonborn. It didn't feel like a blessing. But Briani didn't seem to think her ability was a blessing either. "Do…" I continued, trying to carefully craft each word to be as unassuming as possible. "Do you know what they mean? Like, the different colors?"
"Yes." She said quietly. "But you have to understand, if I tell you-"
"I would never use it against you." I said, equally quiet. "Not if you trusted me with something like that."
She closed her eyes. "Ahh… well, green is happy, or some pleasant emotion. Brown is confusion or boredom. Black is fear, or anger, or any other intense negative emotion. Blue is sadness or sorrow." I felt a pang in my chest at those words, remembering how often I noticed the striking color in her eyes. "Any mixture of the colors would be a mix of emotions. Dark brown, for example, would be angry or frightened confusion." She opened her eyes, still avoiding looking at me. Her next words were barely above a whisper, tinged with bitterness. "All my family friends would tell me how extraordinary it was, how pretty." She exhaled, angry memories seeming to hover over her head. "But anyone who knew about it was offered a one-way door right into my mind. A person can look at me and know exactly how I feel, no matter how much I hide it." Her voice became pained. "There are some things that need to be hidden. Whatever Magnus did to me, it's made me an open book."
I felt a rush of sympathy. Briani was trembling with emotion, and it put me off guard. She was usually so withdrawn. I frowned. Whatever she was, she was hardly an open book, although now I understood her motives a bit more. I found myself laughing before I could stop myself.
"What are you laughing about?" Briani said, a hint of confusion in her words.
"It's just…" I said through my chuckling. "I didn't expect my question to have such an involved explanation." To my relief her lips tugged up at that.
"I suppose you're right." She said, her voice quivering with amusement at my reaction.
"Besides," I continued. "You are definitely not an open book. Just because someone knows how you feel doesn't mean they know what you think. I hardly know a thing about you, even knowing your emotions."
She looked startled at that assessment. "I…"
"Wait." I said suddenly remembering something. "What does gold mean?"
She frowned. "You mean like light brownish?"
"No. Like, shiny, metallic pure gold."
"When were my eyes like that?" She said, bewilderment in her features.
"In Saarthal."
She frowned again. "I… I have no idea. I'll ask Tolfdir." She said, ending topic. We ate in silence for a few more moments before I said the stupidest thing I had ever uttered in my short life.
"It is beautiful." I said quietly. "I mean- your eyes. When they change color." I stuttered, flustered by my own idiocy. I tried to add more to make it less awkward. "And it doesn't make you any weaker to have people know how you feel." You're so stupid! I raged silently at myself.
She smiled tightly. "Thank you. Goodnight Cayn." She said. I didn't know which stupid statement she was thanking me for, but before I could make an even bigger fool of myself she was gone.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Short chapter today! Have plans for the future, so have no fear!
Briani's eyes are explained and our heroes rest in preparation for tomorrow.
Please rate and review! (Free cookies! Promise! No? Ok, I lied, but it's still a nice thing to do!)
~ElderSkie