Chapter Twenty One: Regrets
Under the colorful lights and sounds of Nar Shaddaa's towering skyscrapers, two figures walked together toward the Promenade's core.
"I'm just saying… HAD we gone to Ryloth we could have done something like that," the abashed Twi'lek stated.
"One, how would we even get our hands on explosives?" his Rattataki partner asked. "Two, how would we walk away without blowing ourselves up?"
"I don't know… the Force?"
The Rattataki let out a boisterous laugh, prompting a reserved smile to creep upon her companion's face. Together, they found themselves approaching one of the many overlooks of the upper Promenade, granting them a look into the marketplaces that surrounded the golden plaza below. Basking in the glow of the colored lights that shined down on them from the countless sources above, the two Sith almost appeared as if they were at home on the debased moon.
Kar'ai maintained her usual attire, armorweave leggings and boots with a minimally garbed torso. The plethora of barbed and hooked tattoos that covered her toned body would have placed her amongst enforcers, pirates, pit fighters, and more, if not for the lightsaber resting at her hip.
Ryloh, at the behest of his partner, had shed the outer layers of his many-layered inquisitor's robes. Gone were the hooded cloak and almost suffocating countenance he had enveloped himself in. Instead, only the simplest pieces of his already minimalist black robes hugged his body. In the end, he appeared as a markedly gloomy senator. The underworld trader. The 'dealer' to his partner's 'muscle'. Even in an unfamiliar place, amongst unfamiliar peoples, the two looked like they belonged with one another.
The pair stopped at the ledge of the upper Promenade walkway, the two of them leaning against the waist-high barrier as they looked toward the plaza below.
"So, what do you want to do?" Kar'ai warmly asked of her partner. "Hit the casino? Go shopping? Find an underground fight club?"
"I don't know," Ryloh muttered. "I've never been in a place like this. Hell, I've never been in a situation like this. I mean, since my earliest memories, I've had nothing but awful dust balls beneath my feat. Ryloth. Korriban. Not known for being pleasure destinations."
"Rattatak was pretty much just like Korriban… only paler. So I understand the feeling," Kar'ai admitted. "But pleasure is greatest when derived from new experiences."
"I've heard those words before," Ryloh said with a smirk.
"And have they ever led you astray?" Kar'ai offered with a gentle poke of her elbow.
"No," Ryloh admitted, staring blissfully into the distance. "Well… there was that one time."
"Come on, I thought everything went okay."
"Yeah, but… lightsabers aren't candles Kar'ai," Ryloh muttered. "Lightsabers aren't candles…"
The pair looked onward in silence for a moment, as the Rattataki scratched the back of her head.
"Well, what do you think? I'm sure we can find something fun to do here," Kar'ai stated.
"Yeah. But paying for it is another matter," Ryloh offered. "We don't exactly have a lot of credits to our name."
Pursing her lips and furrowing her brow, the warrior seemed locked in deep thought. "Well, there's Arlia…"
"Oh, right." Ryloh spoke up. "She was supposed to be getting us all some credits, right? I wonder how she's doing."
"Why don't you go ask her. She's literally right there," Kar'ai declared, pointing a finger toward the plaza below. The blue Twi'lek offered a confused look before affixing his gaze to the grounds of the lower Promenade. Carefully searching the bustling scenery beneath them, he eventually managed to pick out their fellow apprentice amongst the surrounding figures. She sat alone on a bench, stilled, as those around her saw fit to parade about in a childlike manner.
"Huh. Small galaxy," Ryloh muttered. Looking up, he saw his partner already making her way toward the lower Promenade. "Whoa, hey, where are you going?"
"To see Arlia, to see how she's doing," Kar'ai shouted back, not pausing her advance.
"Is that a good idea?" Ryloh asked, rushing to catch up with his partner. "I mean, maybe she wants to be alone. She's here for a reason. We don't want to go around, interrupting people vendettas or nothing. She probably doesn't want to be bothered."
Ignoring her companion's half-hearted protests, Kar'ai continued her trek toward the plaza below, shortly joined by the compliant Ryloh. Traversing one of the ramps connecting the upper and lower Promenade, the two Sith examined the curious scene that surrounded the sitting inquisitor. A group of children buzzed about the area near Arlia, chasing one another, the occasional sound of laughter bouncing between them. Gazing across the golden plaza, the violet Twi'lek finally noticed Kar'ai and Ryloh approaching her.
"Hey," Arlia offered, frighteningly nonchalant, bordering on stoic.
"Hey yourself," Kar'ai replied, closing the gap between them. Standing in front of the seated inquisitor, the group of children continued to flutter about without a care. "How's things? You manage to take care of, you know, everything you wanted to?"
"Yeah," Arlia answered after a pause, same soft stoicism in her voice. As Ryloh and Kar'ai looked to her, her gaze seemed transfixed to the space behind them, staring at nothing in particular.
"Is everything alright?"
Arlia continued to stare off into the distance as her arms remained spread across the bench's back. "Yeah."
"Where's Isorr?" Ryloh spoke up.
"Dromund Kaas," Arlia explained. "Dropped him off at the orbital station before making my way here by myself."
"What's he doing on Kaas?" Ryloh followed up.
"Don't know. Same thing as the rest of us, I suppose. Settling scores and what have you. Why are you two on Nar Shaddaa?"
"Well, we were heading to Ryloth before Ryloh got cold feet half way there," Kar'ai explained.
"Turns out I had family there I didn't know about. A sister," Ryloh stated.
"What made you change your mind?" Arlia wondered.
"She's undoubtedly a slave," Ryloh explained. "We wouldn't be able to see her, let alone free her without confronting the entire slaving operation. And even if we managed to free her, given the current course we seem to find ourselves on, we would just be endangering her by taking her with us."
"Huh," Arlia muttered alongside a quick bob of her head as her gaze seemed to pan up toward the sky.
"So… what have you been up to?" Ryloh hesitantly asked.
"Oh, you know," Arlia began, not lowering her gaze, "same old."
The other two Sith puzzled at the inquisitor's newfound lackadaisicalness. Before they could inquire further, a pair of children rushed by, coming to a stop between them and the sitting Twi'lek.
"Arlia, we're thirsty," a young girl bemoaned. Arlia lowered her gaze, momentarily settling upon the pair of children in front of her, before bending over. Reaching beneath the bench, the inquisitor slid a footlocker out between her legs. Barely cracking open the container's lid, Arlia poked a hand inside before retrieving a small credit chip.
"Here," Arlia said, holding the chip out to the children. "Don't buy anything you've never heard of."
"Okay! Thanks, Miss Arlia!" one of the kids bellowed as she snatched the credit chip. Not a moment later, the two children began to rush toward the market across the plaza.
"What'd I say about calling me 'Miss'?" Arlia shouted at them, hot-tempered, but without an ounce of hostility.
"Whoa, wait," Kar'ai spoke up. "You know these kids?"
"Yeah," Arlia nonchalantly admitted. "Came to Nar Shaddaa for two reasons. To sell crystals and to kill someone. Succeeded on both accounts."
"Who'd you kill?" Kar'ai asked.
"The person who owned these kids. The person who once owned me," Arlia admitted.
"What? You never told us you were a former slave," Ryloh blurted out.
The other Twi'lek offered only the silent arch of her brow.
"So, you freed all these kids," Kar'ai mused, gently scratching her chin. "How noble of you."
"Not really," Arlia replied. "All I did was kill their captor. They were freed by proxy. I was just kind enough to give them a ride from one wretched den to another."
"Well, they seem happy," Ryloh stated, bouncing his sights between the gathered children, a hint of trepidation in his voice.
"Of course they are!" Kar'ai boisterously replied, jabbing her partner with her elbow. "I mean, as a former slave, I'd assume you'd have a pretty firm understanding of the concept."
"Yea, but-" Ryloh managed to get out before being interrupted by Arlia.
"No, he's right to be curious," the sitting inquisitor admitted. "I thought it was weird too. I expected more, I don't know, baggage with them. And yet, here they are, running around with smiles on their faces. I thought maybe they had just managed to suppress the memories of a place awful even by Nar Shaddaa standards. Or maybe I had gotten to this group before any real damage could be done. But then I realized, I had simply dealt with the single entity they feared. With that connection severed, it was like a switch flipped, and they went back to being just a bunch of normal kids."
"Wow, what was he having them do?" Ryloh asked.
"She," Arlia corrected. "Always used to say she dealt in services, not product. Referred to us as companions. I got out of there ten years ago whilst I was still in my 'training' period. Vai showed up, fed me some nonsense story of my Sith ancestors, 'bought' me, and brought me to the Academy. For those ten years, she continued to operate. Until I came back."
"Did you have a rough time? Today, I mean," Kar'ai asked. "You seem pretty… out of it."
"No. In fact, it was the easiest thing I've ever had to do," Arlia admitted, sounding almost disappointed. "She was right where I left her ten years ago. She didn't have any guards or employees. She never needed them. She liked to maintain complete and total control herself. So I walked in. Went straight to her office. Pinned her against the wall. Ended it. The only reason things lasted as long as they did… was because I wanted them to. I thought the event worth prolonging. Thought it would yield… greater satisfaction."
The inquisitor trailed off her she lifted her gaze to the sky once more. The Twi'lek seemed almost wistful.
"That was… the one thing I looked forward to," Arlia continued, her voice soft, almost whispering. It became evident that her words were no longer intended for the pair of Sith standing in front of her. "Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. That was the singular goal that rest in my mind. Everything else… floaty, undeveloped, happenstance. Everything I did, everything I strived for on Korriban, was so that I would eventually become a person capable of getting whatever she wanted. And the only thing I really wanted, was to kill this one person. And now that I've done that, I should be happy right? Elated? After all, I've only dreamed of this day for the entirety of my adult life. But no. Instead, I'm left feeling… nothing. Absolutely nothing. No pleasure. No pain. No happiness. No sadness. Nothing good. Nothing bad. Nothing."
"When you base your entire life around subtraction, its only inevitable that you wind up at zero," Kar'ai softly declared. "I know you're meant to think that if you can just get rid of everything that makes you sad, angry, depressed… then all you'd be left with is happiness, right? Well, not if there wasn't any happiness to begin with. You want positivity? You gotta find it. You gotta make it. You."
"You're a font of motivational splendor, Kar'ai," Arlia halfheartedly said, still staring upward.
"I mean it," Kar'ai emphatically stated. "The reason you're feeling unfulfilled is because you don't know what to do with yourself when you're not being challenged. This weird feeling your experiencing? It's called relief. It's called being unburdened. But instead of making something out of it, you're just wallowing in this weird, depressing state of equilibrium. Balance is awful and fleeting. Go, tip the scales in your favor. Have some fun. Live a little outside of realm of death and manipulation and Sith stuff. You gave these kids a new life. You gave yourself a new life. Take pride in that!"
Arlia continued to gaze off into the distance, seemingly oblivious to the Rattataki's words. The warrior let out a low sigh as she felt a wall developing between herself and the inquisitor. Before either could speak up, Kar'ai looked down to see one of the children standing beside her, poking her leg.
"Excuse me," the little girl said, without an ounce of shyness. "Are you a friend of Miss Arlia?"
Kneeling down, the Rattataki wore a bright smile on her face. "Yup. Both of us are. In fact, we've been friends of hers for almost two years now."
"How did you meet?"
"We were… classmates," Kar'ai warmly replied. More of the children approached the pair of Sith, momentarily putting their jovial exercise on hold.
"Is that where you and Miss Arlia learned to fight?" a boy asked.
"So, you know about her talents, huh?" Kar'ai said with a knowing grin. "Yeah, we all went to a special school where we could hone our skills."
"Are you as good a fighter as Miss Arlia?" a third asked. By now, the entire crowd had congregated around the two Sith.
"No, no, of course not," Kar'ai playfully stated with a flippant wave of her hand. "I'm better."
The gathered children released simultaneous sounds of wonder and excitement. The small figures looked to the Rattataki with an intense fascination.
"Why are you bald?" one of the boys bluntly asked. "Aren't you supposed to be a girl?"
From behind her, the warrior could hear her partner release a quick snicker. Kar'ai herself following it with a hearty chuckle.
"I guess not everyone knows about Rattataki physiology," Kar'ai offered. "But if you think that's weird, my blue friend here doesn't any hair either. And I mean, at all. He's completely smooth, head to toe. And I'll let you in on a little secret. So is Miss Arlia. Those eyebrows? Draw on."
"Alright, that's enough!" Arlia blurted out, raising herself from her bench. "What are you doing? Why are you being this happy and friendly and warm?"
"Why aren't you?" Kar'ai teased, straightening her stance. "There aren't any other Sith here. No enemies. No one to look down on any displays of affection. And even if there were, who freakin' cares? Being a Sith should be about not having to care about what others think about you. It should be about freeing yourself from restrictions. Not having to suppress a part of you because its somehow inappropriate. What do you think, kids? Should Miss Arlia stop caring what other people think?"
"Yeah!" the children exclaimed in unison.
"You're really cool!"
"You're a good person!"
"We like you for you, Miss Arlia!"
The violet Twi'lek looked to the warm, glowing faces that stared back at her. An awkward feeling pulsed throughout the inquisitor's body as she raised an eyebrow toward the two Sith who stood across from her, each wearing smile of their own.
"Ugh," Arlia muttered, drooping her shoulders. "Can we… can we just get off this awful moon? Isorr's probably ready for pickup by now."
"Of course," Kar'ai replied, giving the inquisitor a confident nod. "You want us to take care of the kids while you… take care of whatever you need to? We can drop them off with someone who could find them new homes."
"But we wanna stay with Miss Arlia," one of the children spoke up.
"No, it's for the best," Arlia declared. Taking a step toward the kids, the inquisitor took a knee. "You won't be safe if you stay with me. I'm going to be dealing with a lot more bad people."
Looking at the faces of the gathered children, she could see tears beginning to form under their soft eyes. The violet Twi'lek adopted a comforting smile, trying to put them at ease.
"Will we ever see you again?" one of the children asked.
"I don't know," Arlia admitted.
"Promise you'll come see us someday."
"I can't-"
"You have to! Promise."
One by one, Arlia looked to the children. In each of their tearful eyes, she could see a small flicker of hope. A flicker she couldn't stand to extinguish.
"Alright. I promise," Arlia declared, a genuine smile upon her face. The children encircled the Twi'lek and wrapped their arms around her. "Whoa, hey, come on. I'm not going anywhere yet. I'll stay with you until the starport. That sound alright?"
The children supplied a steady stream of nods as they backed away, allowing Arlia to right herself. As she began to take a step, the inquisitor immediately paused before spinning on her heels back toward the bench.
"Oh, right. Can't forget this," Arlia declared as she reached down toward her footlocker. "Wouldn't want to-"
"Hey!"
The Sith heard a voice that belonged to none of them. It was faint, as if shouted from a great distance.
"Hey!"
Again it sounded from across the Promenade, holding with it a harshness and hostility.
"You all hear that?" Ryloh asked, panning his gaze about the surrounding plaza for its source. Together the Sith searched, before locating its source above them. Standing along one of the upper Promenade's overlooks, an angry spacer cast his harsh glare toward the group, focusing mainly on Arlia. Quickly the lone figure rushed across the overlook railing, heading toward the ramp that connected the two levels.
Kar'ai looked to Arlia, who currently stood rubbing her brow. "Friend of yours?"
"You might say that," Arlia muttered.
"But he probably won't," Ryloh added.
Now on the lower Promenade, the spacer rushed across the plaza toward the group, a visible limp in his gait. As the figure drew closer, the children gathered in a tight group hiding behind Arlia. Within seconds the spacer had closed the gap between himself and the Sith.
"Who the hell do you think you are, you crazy bi-"
Before the spacer could finish, the Rattataki delivered a swift hook of her fist across the man's face, sending him tumbling to the ground. Lying motionless on his side, the fallen figure released a low, hushed groan. Kar'ai turned around to see Arlia starting at her, eyebrow firmly raised.
"So. Who was that?" Kar'ai asked.
"Now you ask?" Ryloh exclaimed.
"Some guy," Arlia stated. "Had to borrow a taxi earlier, which may have led to me kicking him out of a moving speeder." Now it was the Rattataki's turn to raise an eyebrow. "What? It wasn't that high a drop."
The warrior offered only the halfhearted shrug of her shoulders, ready to make her way toward the starport. Before setting out, Arlia opened the lid of her footlocker, retrieving a couple credit chips and tossing them onto the slowly squirming body of the floored spacer. Without another word, she lifted the container and motioned for the kids to follow. Together, group made their way across the plaza to find a taxi.
"You never did say how many credits you were able to secure," Kar'ai spoke up.
"Oh, right," Arlia started to recall. "I wasn't exactly paying attention when he told me, but it looks to be somewhere between three and four hundred thousand."
The other two stopped dead in their tracks, Ryloh almost stumbling to the floor.
"What?" the two exclaimed in unison.
"What 'what'?" Arlia asked with the arch of her brow. "Those crystals were pretty valuable."
"Evidently," Kar'ai bluntly stated. "Is that thing filled with just credit chips?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Arlia declared, utterly nonchalant. "Do you two want your cut now, or once we're at the starport?"
"Starport! Starport!" the pair immediately answered. The violet Twi'lek offered a quick shrug and continued to walk, flanked by the group of children. Ryloh and Kar'ai shared a dumbfounded look before rushing to keep up with their fellow apprentice.
Together, the three Sith and the accompaniment of children made their way off the Promenade, eager to put the moon of lights and splendor behind them.