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Stand By Me

Chapter 15 - In the Mourning

''You escaped like a runaway train, off the tracks and down again, and my hearts beating like a steam boat - tugging all your burdens on my shoulders.''

''I want to know.'' Sakura said, strength clear in her voice. After the scene with Sasuke, she was more than ready to know. Everything.

''What would you like to know?'' he asked, his expression...grim.

''I want to know...what makes Sasuke who he is.''

Itachi fell silent and Sakura watched him. Wondering if maybe she'd overstepped the boundaries.

She opened her mouth but Itachi spoke, ''I can show you...all of it. Sasuke's truth...and mine. But once its set in motion, I will not be able to stop what you are going to see. There will be no going back, so I will only ask this once. Are you sure?''

Of course she was. She wanted to know Sasuke. More than anything.

''Yes. Show me.'' she said, and Itachi nodded slowly.

x-x-x-x-

Sasuke stared up at the ceiling. Forcing all thoughts from his mind. Breathing deeply, in and out. Fuck, he wanted sleep to come so he wouldn't have to think about the scene with Sakura. What a fuck up that had been.

Fuck! What happened to not thinking about it?

He took a deep breath, clearing his thoughts once more. Breathe, in, breathe, out.

Sasuke paused, hearing a rustling somewhere in the house.

Whatever. Probably Sakura.

He settled in, finally feeling sleep come over him when Sakura's scream pierced the silence.

Sasuke was up and out of his room before he'd even thought it through.

''No! Please! No more!'' she screamed as he threw open her door.

''Please! Oh Kami!'' another scream as she shook around in bed. Sasuke froze, she was terrified. He felt like he should leave her to her horrors. It was none of his business.

''Itachi! I can't-'' she sobbed, ''Please...dont show me any...more...''

Sasuke froze for the second time, his entire body tensing almost painfully. He had not imagined that. She'd said...Itachi.

Sasuke went over to her.

''Itachi! Don't- Don't show me this!'' she was sobbing hysterically now and Sasuke grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. He wasn't even breathing.

''Sakura...Sakura!''

Her eyes sprang open and she breathed in as if her life depended on it...and then stared at him, shock evident on her face before it fell into her hands and terrible sobs wracked her body.

''Sakura...'' he tried, uneasiness clear in his voice. He had no idea how to handle this, but for some reason a part of him wanted to run and another part was frozen right here.

He sat on her bed, hands still on her shoulders, unable to retract them, unable to push her away or hold her closer.

God, he was so fucked up.

Sasuke swallowed. Deciding to look anywhere but her...yeah...that worked, but somehow the sounds of her sobs...he hated them.

A wet hand touched his arm, and he turned his head to her, she sniffed, her body still shaking, her tears still rushing down and then she was on her knees and she had him in her arms, sobbing into his neck.

Sasuke tensed.

''S-Sasuke-kun...'' she cried.

He couldn't explain it, but the familiarity that came with that small gesture, the -kun tacked onto his name...was comforting.

''Sakura...''

That seemed to snapped her back to reality and she immediately sat back. Her face pale as she reached up with both hands and wiped at her tears.

''Oh...Kami...im so sorry.'' she said and Sasuke stood, disregarding her apology.

''Im going out.'' he announced, he'd been meaning to meet Suigetsu and Juugo since they'd sent repeated messages about having information.

''O-Oh...ok.'' she nodded and Sasuke was out of the room in the next second, getting dressed, grabbing his weapons and getting the hell out of there.

It was only once he was in the tunnel that he allowed himself to breathe.

Shit. Fuck. Things were getting to personal. Hell, he shouldve seen this coming, and now he was trapped. They couldn't survive this world without him and honestly, he needed them - as much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't defeat Madara without them.

He emerged from the tunnel and headed into the woods.

He thought he was harder and colder than this. He knew they were deranged, in saying that they still cared about him, and he was sure that it meant less than shit to him what they felt. Fuck, he'd miscalculated...by a long shot.

There was no denying it, last night, when Sakura had healed him...he'd been completely vulnerable...naked to her. All his defenses were down...he'd relaxed. Fuck, he hadn't done that in a long time.

He wasn't sure if he hated her for it.

He was in too deep and he couldn't get out. He'd tried pushing her away and yet he found himself just jumping right back in here.

He was unaffected by whatever was in that container, Orochimaru had given him extensive training. Even if it was extremely strong, it had made his head spin, but he'd been in control. The way Sakura had looked at him...even if the spice had effected her...shit, he was the one who'd initiated the kiss.

And then he retaliated. He hadn't been prepared for what he was going to feel. He'd liked it. Again.

But it had been that look in her eyes that had done him in. No one had ever looked at him like that,...not since his mom. He doubted that Sakura or anyone at this point actually loved him, but just they way she looked at him...

Sasuke stopped and fell back against the bark of a tree, rubbing a hand over his face.

''What the fuck is happening to me?'' he had no idea how to explain what was happening to him. Why he felt such compulsions toward Sakura of all people!

He was tired of denying it, but he would still fight it. If there was anything left...

Her eyes when she'd woken up...like some piece of the puzzle finally fit. Her eyes seemed to look right through him, into him. Like Uchiha Sasuke finally made sense.

And then to top it all off, she'd said the exact words he'd said, the words that haunted him. She'd begged Itachi not to show her. As he had.

That would be fine. If she was...what? Repulsed? Disgusted? Traumatized? By his life?

None of it made sense though. How could she know? There was no way she could dream it. Impossible.

But Sasuke wasn't convinced. It had been in her eyes. She knew. She'd held him, not for herself, for some kind of comfort...but for him.

Sakura died and came back, and he was keeping things from him. He also knew that the reason Orochimaru's test subjects had died was because they had terrible nightmares...and he was sure they'd screamed about ghosts.

Sasuke sighed. The longer he waited to confront this, the better.

Now, he needed to meet up with Juugo and Suigetsu to see what they had to say.

x-x-x-x-

Sakura just sat there after Sasuke left. Listening to the sound of her own breathing and hoping it would calm her. No such luck.

She saw it all. In excruciating detail. Every drop of blood, every scream, every cut...all of it. And then there were Sasuke's nightmares. She saw those too.

''Oh, Kami...'' she whispered, burying her face into her hands.

The only way this nightmare would end for him would be for there to be no more revenge. Madara...Tobi, whoever, had to die. Kabuto, too. Then, Sasuke would be free of his struggle. She'd make sure of it.

Sleep was out of the question, she was terrified of entering that nightmare again, and even more terrified of facing Itachi...he'd warned her and she'd acted so fucking brave.

Sakura blew out a breath and pushed the covers from her body and walked to the bathroom in a zombie-fied state. She went through the motions of the shower ritual and then got dressed, the sun was just coming up and she wondered vaguely where Sasuke was.

Sakura stepped outside and began. She would push herself to the very limit. Train herself over the edge, because there was no other way to grown stronger.

x-x-x-x-

''Where the fuck have you been, man?'' Suigetsu demanded. ''We've been calling!''

''I know. I was busy.'' Sasuke replied coldy, leaning against the wall.

Suigetsu stopped and a slow grin spread across his face. ''Nice.'' he said with an approving nod.

''So?''

Sasuke frowned, what the fuck was he on about now?

''How was she? On a scale of one to ten, one being piss poor and ten being...orgasm...tatastic?'' as soon as Suigetsu finished that sentence, he dissolved into water as Sasuke's Katana slid through his torso relentlessly.

''Whoa! Ok, ok!'' Suigetsu threw his hands up with a laugh and Sasuke glared daggers.

''So...shes a touchy subject?''

Sasuke lifted his Katana again when Juugo's voice cut through, ''We're wasting time. Time where Haruno-san is unattended and in danger.''

Sasuke turned to Juugo. ''Talk.''

''Its worse than we feared. He doesn't want her dead, it seems that he needs her for something, as far as Karin can tell. He's desperate to get her.''

Sasuke's jaw clenched to the point of pain.

''Konoha has been rebuilt as his own private fortress, the only thing that he kept is the stone face mountain side...for whatever reason, I don't know. The rest of the city is unrecognizable.''

Juugo skipped a beat before he spoke again. ''Karin mentioned something else...''

Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

''The full moon ritual...Tobi is apparently missing one piece, he dispatched a special team to find whatever it is. With the small amount of time left I imagine he's...near frantic.''

''Do you have any idea what it is, Sasuke?'' Suigetsu asked from his seat by the window.

Sasuke shook his head. ''Not much is known about that Jutsu, he was careful not to tell anyone much.''

''So basically we still know nada.'' Suigetsu said with a huff and shook head.

''Also...Sasuke...there's something else...'' Juugo said hesitantly.

''Im listening.''

x-x-x-x-

By lunch time Sakura muscles were screaming and she found relief in that, but from a medical stand point she knew continuing would be a bad idea, so she opted for a short lunch break, but as she stepped inside a shower sounded much better. She was aware that the cabinets held some instant meals and she could quickly eat those before heading out to training again.

Sakura hopped in the shower, did a quick wash and got dressed in fresh clothes before she headed to the kitchen and grabbed some instant ramen from the cabinet, and put some water to boil on the stove.

After she added and dissolved the ramen and flavourant she sat down with her chopsticks and dug right in.

Geez, she hadn't expected herself to be this exhausted. But she was eager to get to a point where she could push herself to that extent and keep going.

The door opened and Sasuke strode into the room, a frown on his face and before she could stop herself she spoke. ''Whaf-'' she chewed and swallowed eagerly before she attempted that again.

''What is it?''

Sasuke stopped his restless moving about and looked at her. His expression debating on the edge, would he tell her - would he not?

''Sasuke.'' she pressed.

''They're dumping the bodies.''

Sakura blinked and frowned.

''What? Which bodies?''

''Madara is cleaning up Konoha...and he ordered his men to dump all the bodies into the ocean. Not far from here.''

For a moment Sakura stood completely still and then she seemed to let out a breath and her ramen dropped to the floor.

''No...''

Sasuke watched her, that uneasiness setting in again, leaving him at a loss.

''Take me there.'' it wasn't a request. Sasuke hesitated, he'd be taking her right into a swarm of Shadows, and they were looking for her.

''What is there to think about? .there. NOW!''

''Come.'' he said after a second and she followed easily.

x-x-x-x-

''Wait here.'' Sasuke instructed.

The smell. In the wind. She could smell it. Bodies. Like the morgue.

She gaged.

''Sakura, answer me.''

''I'll wait.'' she whispered.

Sasuke looked at her for a second longer before he disappeared.

Sasuke had silent killing skills that was up to par, or even exceeded Zabuza.

The only thing she heard was the bodies dropping one after the other. Was it ten? More? She'd stopped counting.

The second he appeared next to her, he grabbed her arm.

''Listen closely, Sakura, nod so I know you're with me.''

She nodded.

''Just one sign that we're in danger, and I'm getting you out of here, are we clear?''

Sakura frowned, but nodded none the less.

''Lets go.''

Sakura dropped from the trees after him and the sight made her knees weak and drop the the floor. Hundreds, only hundreds of bodies were left. Several large empty crates stood the the side.

Sakura grabbed her throat, desperate to breathe.

Sasuke hunched down next to her.

''What do you wanna do?'' his eyes scanned the trees.

''Can...can we bury them?''

Sasuke closed his eyes. She could see the tension in his face, she'd known that he'd wanted to kill all of these people once upon a time.

Slowly he nodded. ''Don't look at their faces.''

Sakura closed her eyes and nodded.

All the bodies were at the far side of the clearing. Near the beach so she had enough space to create a large grave.

Sakura stood up and stepped forward, pushing chakra into her hand and smashing it to the ground. Two lengthy cracks appeared and she forced her fingers into both of them, grimacing as the pinched her fingers shut and then she lifted, pushing more and more chakra in until she felt the ground break free and then she tossed it away.

It was deep enough but not by far wide enough. So she repeated her actions, until she was satisfied with the grave and then she looked at Sasuke. He was watching her closely.

''Will you help me...?''

He nodded.

Sakura turned and lifted one body, carrying it to the grave, but then she stopped. These were her fellow villagers and Shinobi. How could she be so unpersonal. She owed it to each and every one of them to at least look at them, since she'd survived.

Sakura looked down. It was a woman, from what she could tell. Her stomach was swelled. She had been pregnant. Sakura closed her eyes and slid the body gently into the hole.

When she turned Sasuke was carrying two bodies while scanning the trees with his Sharingan.

''We don't have time for you to say a personal prayer to each single one.'' he said lowly. ''Bury them all and do a traditional prayer.''

Sakura wanted to argue but he was right. They wouldn't be safe. So they fell into the task.

She didn't recognize anyone she knew personally, which unnerved her. Had they dumped the Shinobi into the sea before she got here? Mostly these were bodies of normal villagers. A few Shinobi here and there, yes, but still.

When the sun was low on the horizon they finally finished.

''Is this...it?'' she whispered and Sasuke knew what she meant.

''I don't know. Maybe...'' he looked towards the ocean, having the same thought as Sakura.

Without another word they started to cover and fill the grave and it was only full when the moon was high up in the sky.

''What can we use...as...'' Sakura looked around, she wanted a memorial of some sort.

''The tree.'' Sasuke pointed to a tree directly behind them and she reluctantly agreed.

Her finger began to glow with her chakra. In quick fluid motions, she wrote a quick prayer, praying for their safe passage to the far plane.

She hesitated a moment, wondering if she could write more, if she could promise to avenge them...sign her name?

Yes, she could do that. She owed them that, her hand descended but Sasuke grabbed her wrist.

''No, it will only piss him off.''

Sakura bit her lip and nodded slowly. Turning back to the grave.

She bowed, closed her eyes and slowly said her goodbyes to everyone that was lost.

Sasuke stood next to her, Sharingan flicking all around and when she was finished, he was eager to leave.

With one last look...she followed.

x-x-x-x-

Once they'd returned home...

Sakura blinked. Home. Was that what this had become? Home?

It felt so foreign yet so...right to her. Being here with Sasuke. Even if the silences unnerved her, even if they fought constantly.

She hated to admit it. All of it. And yet it was the truth.

Sakura shook her head. She'd taken a quick shower and then prepared dinner as Sasuke showered.

How could she ever get through to him? Now that she'd seen it. That she knew what happened to him, what plagued his slumbers...she thought it an impossible task, and she understood completely: his fear of letting anyone in. He was scared to death of losing it. So he was always on guard. Keeping everyone at bay and himself just out of reach. Even so, a lot of thing didn't make sense to her still. Maybe...it was just her pushing to hard for him to let her in.

Maybe...she needed to step back and just...just what?

Sasuke entered the room and sat down. Sakura set the table and they ate in silence.

She was practically vibrating with the need to know. The have answers. The question eating at her as she eyed him, at the very tip of her tongue, but blocked by reason.

When Sasuke finished, he pushed his plate forward and finally met her gaze.

''Spit it out already.''

She tensed and then it tumbled from her lips. ''What happened the day of the final battle? What did Orochimaru say to you? Why do you hate me? Why didn't you let me die?''

Sasuke stared at her before he stood up. ''You're asking all the wrong questions.'' and then he walked from the room. She watched him pause in the doorway and turn to her. ''I don't hate you, Sakura.'' and the door shut behind him.

''and now it seems like the whole world's waiting, can you hear the echoes fading?''

On a roll! Next chaper...yikes! Be warned and dont hate! Lol!

Will update as soon as its done!

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Zana-Lee

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