Unused form Chapter 34 - Before I wrote Christina confronting Four about the bruises on Tris's arms, I wrote it from Four's perspective: him discussing it with Rafael and his compulsion to leave. I often write a scene multiple ways and then pick which one seems to flow better. And while I don't often write from outside of Four / Tris's perspectives, it adds a nice change of pace and perspective that I couldn't pass up. Ultimately, I wanted to show that well-meaning friends aren't always doing the "right thing" and that we all bring bias into situations.
Four lead the way back up the path and out to the training room. The heavy footsteps behind her had Tris glancing back every few steps while Anxo tailed them all the way until they stepped through the threshold. Four didn't even turn back, instead stepping into the lockerroom just long enough for Tris to disappear into her's. He wanted to avoid her and any continuation of their conversation. He'd plodded down the path to give himself time to think, not to be confronted.
He didn't make it to the door before Rafael's smiling greeting was crushed by his distressed glare.
"Uh oh." He commented, putting his arm around Four's shoulders and holding him back.
"I'm late for something." He tried.
"No, you're not. What's up?"
"I um… I need to leave."
"Four, come on. You got no where to be. What's wrong?"\
"You ever think about going back?" Four's head snapped around checking for prying eyes. Rafael grabbed his shirt and pulled him away from the incoming crowd of members towards the relative solitude of the rock wall.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Rafael spit harshly.
"I just, I think I fit better there," he explained.
"What happened?" Four avoided his eyes and started to mumble while he walked away, "You're not going back."
"I think I should. I'm no good here."
"You're dead there. You're not going anywhere. Now, what happened?"
"I…" Four made eye contact and forgot about all the people milling about their day. He forgot about his persona and his reputation. He forgot about hope and happiness. All he felt was a chilling shame that twisted his face and he sputtered. "I hurt her."
"What? She just walked in with you. She's fine."
Four shook his head, clutching around his torso. "I really, really hurt her. I could have killed her."
"When was this?"
"Last night."
"Four… I. Shit. What got you so mad?"
"I wasn't mad. I was sleeping." He admitted.
"Oh!" Rafael laughed, reaching out and slapping his shoulder. "Jeeze, you scared me." Four stared back, shocked and getting angry. "Seriously, you must have grabbed me a half dozen times. Hurts like hell, but it heals up. Was it the one about Steven?"
"What? You knew?"
"Sure. You do scary shit all the time. Yelling. Thrashing around. Grabbing. I probably owe you a couple cold clocks for it. It's no big deal. It's a night terror." He laughed, Four smiled a little. He felt better somehow knowing he'd always stopped at the squeezing. That he'd never almost killed Rafael.
"You!" Christina yelled, pointing her finger and on a mission. Four's stomach flipped. He'd never really considered Christina to be scary before. But he'd also never imagined her barreling across the training room with fists clenched and seeing red.
"Not a good time." Rafael stepped between them, keeping her at a reasonable distance.
"Why'd you do it?" She shouted over Rafael's shoulder.
"He didn't do anything. Okay?"
"She's fucking bruised like a grape juice stain." Four winced, feeling sick at the description.
"He didn't mean to. He gets night terrors. This happens sometimes." Rafael tried to calm her down.
"Why are you protecting him? We should be arresting him. Turning him in."
"Seriously. He didn't know what he was doing. He had a night terror. Lauren explained it to me. They don't remember the dream, they just act it out. It's like sleep walking. Really, it's more my fault. I thought he knew what was happening. So I didn't mention it to him." Christina stared back, not sure if she was willing to accept and back down.
"You knew he was a nutter and you didn't warn Tris? She's half his size. He could have killed her."
"She's right, you know." Four was recalling the image of Tris in his landscape: red marks and dead eyes. "I should just go."
"No. You stay right there!" Rafael pointed at him. Four had never seen a demanding side to his friend. He sank down on the spot and let the thoughts and options swarm through his head. Rafael backed Christina up and continued to talk to her, out of ear shot. Just as he had her calmed down, Four saw Tris approaching, looking concerned. He felt sick looking at her, knowing she was carrying marks that he made. He couldn't face her, not yet. Four picked the quickest path out of the training room.