Bucky moves swiftly through the dark. None of his victims have time to cry out. With each one he kills, he imagines the look of horror on Steve's face, and it fuels his rage. When the building has been gutted, he sits in a ball in the alley behind it trembling, trying to calm himself. He doesn't want Steve to see him like this. He doesn't want anyone to see him like this. A realization comes to him slowly as he sits, trembling. The Winter Soldier would be in charge of this situation. The Winter Soldier would be perfectly composed. This frenzy, this fear, this is human. He lets out a long sigh, and an uncontrollable laughter bubbles up in his throat. He lets it out; laughing manically until his stomach hurts and his eyes are watering. When the laughter dies down, he sits silently, feeling light. He stands and makes his way home, finally feeling like he has accomplished something.
When Bucky climbs in his window, his room is empty. He half expected Steve to be waiting for him again. He moves down the hall silently, headed to the kitchen to get a drink before he gets a few hours of sleep. The blond head visible over the back of the couch causes him to pause, however.
"Steve?" he questions quietly.
"Hey, Bucky," Steve replies, his voice a low whisper.
"I'm sorry. I just can't do that to you," Bucky says, taking a few steps towards the couch.
Steve stands and makes his way to Bucky's side, patting his shoulder before he heads to his bedroom. "I know. I'm just glad you made it back safe."
Steve's small, passive voice hits Bucky in the gut like a battering ram. His drink forgotten, he goes to bed, curling up in a ball and berating himself until he falls asleep.
When Bucky wakes up, Natasha is sitting on his windowsill.
"Good morning," she chirps.
Bucky pushes his hair out of his face and blinks at her sleepily. "What?" he mumbles.
"You seem awfully tired. Are you not sleeping well? That's understandable," she says, and to Bucky it seems like she thinks she knows something, but he's exhausted and his mind is fuzzy and he can't quite tell what she's getting at.
Another "what?" is all he can muster.
"You poor thing," she croons, "you seem confused. I'll make it easy. I followed you home last night." Her jaw is set in a hard line.
"What?" he says, bolting up in bed. He's fully awake now, and he's horrified.
"I know it's you," she deadpans. "Does Steve know?"
"He didn't know until after he talked to you," Bucky says quickly. Steve is his priority right now. Getting him into trouble like this is exactly what he was hoping to avoid.
"This has to stop now," Natasha states flatly. "We can't have you getting in our way, not when we're trying to rebuild."
"And who put you people in charge of me?" Bucky says, and he tries to keep the challenging tone out of his voice but he fails.
Natasha sighs. "You're doing this for, what, reconciliation? I know what that's like. It's our fault that Hydra grew right under our noses. We didn't see it, and it almost destroyed the world. We're trying to fix this, but we have to do it the right way. Like it or not, you have two choices. Get on board or get out of the way."
"You're wasting your time trying to stop me," Bucky replies.
"Fine," Natasha says with a shrug. "Have it your way. Just know you won't have our help when it goes south."
"I don't need it," he retorts to her back as she climbs out the window. She doesn't reply. She simply climbs down the fire escape. By the time he gets up and peers out the window, she's vanished.