Chapter 32 – Joy

"Remember, Xion, even if there's another card sandwiched between them, it still counts and you can slap it," Riku explained, lifting his hand from the table to show the Queen snuggly nestled between two tens.

"Got it." She held her fingers up and wiggled them, giving him a devilish grin. "You're going down, Riku."

Riku raised his eyebrow. "We'll see about that. Sora, wanna join us?"

Riku had asked Merlin to transform a room in the Time Chamber into his rec room from back home for tonight. He'd hoped that having a reminder of home would be enough to cheer Sora up. But instead, Sora was sprawled across the couch and hugging Kairi's squishy cat pillow, Mr. Meow. Riku decided not to ask how it had ended up here of all places.

"I'm okay," Sora said. "I'll just watch you guys for now."

"You wish Kairi was here, don't you?"

Well, it wasn't like Riku could blame him. Roxas and Naminé had already snuck off to do who knows what, and Terra and Aqua were noticeably absent, too. Mickey had even gone to see Minnie and check on Disney Town. Sora was probably disappointed that Kairi hadn't come back yet when all the other couples were pairing off.

"Yeah," Sora said softly.

"I'm sure she'll be here soon," Xion said, giving him a sympathetic look.

"I just want to see her before… you know, everything happens. It's our last night together, and I was hoping we could—" He turned red and poked Mr. Meow's face. "Oh, forget it."

Riku raised his eyebrow, and Sora shot icy blue daggers at him. "Not that, geez. Get your mind out of the gutter, Riku. We haven't even kissed yet, except when she was trying to save me from Xehanort." He buried his face in Mr. Meow's squishiness and sighed. "I just want to hold her again, that's all."

Xion made an awwww noise, and Riku just rolled his eyes. He got jabbed in the ribs for that, much to Sora's amusement.

"What?" Riku said. "I never said I was any good at this stuff."

Sora gave him an unreadable look. "And yet you manage anyway," he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He looked to Xion, but she just shrugged, her eyes sparkling. Good thing she was here. Riku was happy for everyone, but it was starting to feel like all his friends were in a relationship. It was nice to have someone he could just be himself with and not feel like a third wheel around.

The door flew open with a loud clang. "Sora!" Donald shouted. "Kairi's back!"

Sora didn't have to be told twice. He sprung to his feet, and Mr. Meow went flying. He was out the door before Riku and Xion had even finished standing.

"Well?" Riku said. He wanted to see Kairi too, and he needed to fill her in on the plan for tomorrow. "Shall we?"

"Kairi."

Excusing herself from her conversation with Goofy and Master Yen Sid, Kairi raced to Sora. His arms were open wide, and she knew she was home the moment he wrapped them around her. He smelled like saltwater and sun with a hint of sweat, and he clung to her in a way that made her heart race, even while his embrace was comforting.

"You're safe, thank goodness you're safe," he murmured into her hair.

When he finally leaned back so he could look into her eyes, his had an almost anguished look in them.

"Sora, are you okay?" she asked with a frown. It sure didn't look like it.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not because of Xehanort, I promise. Your magic made sure of that. It's just been hard, knowing the danger you were in."

She chewed on her lip. "You were that worried about me?" She'd known, of course, but it was one thing to know and another to see firsthand the signs of his concern.

He ran his fingers through her hair, curling a strand of it around his finger. "Wasn't it obvious from my letters?"

Well, yes, it had been obvious. He'd sent her diary to her a few days ago, and she'd read it as soon as she could. He'd never admitted to being so lovesick before, and it was kinda adorable that he finally had.

Maybe writing brought out a side of him that he normally kept hidden. She'd have to find a reason for them to keep writing to each other, then.

"You just get sappier with age," she said, poking his cheek and grinning. "You know that, right?"

He smiled and leaned in close. "Yeah, but you wouldn't have it any other way."

He was right. He was absolutely right, and she threw her arms back around him and held him tight.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who's a sap," he said softly, his hand going up and down her back in a soothing gesture.

Kairi didn't care. Everyone in the world could call her a sap and she wouldn't mind if it meant being here with him.

"I missed you," she said, keeping her voice low. "I counted down the days till I could see you again."

"So did I. Well, more like the hours."

Something had changed. Of course he had missed her on his journeys before, but not so much that it had ever kept him from leaving.

Maybe, after everything they'd been through, he couldn't stand being apart from her anymore. The thought made her more determined than ever to win, to create a world where they could be together.

It was with that on her mind that she told him to meet her again later. She still needed to talk to Riku and Xion about the plan and about what she'd been doing. They piled into the Time Chamber together, into a room that looked exactly like Riku's rec room back home. And was that Mr. Meow lying on the ground? Had Sora brought him here?

She bent over and picked him up. Yup. He still smelled like Sora. Ever since he'd won him for her at the summer festival back home, she'd made sure he hugged him every now and then so he would keep his smell. She took him back to the couch with her and settled next to Riku. Xion sat on the other side of him, and Kairi listened carefully as they explained the plan and took turns reciting the prophecy, her eyes going wider with every word.

"The ruler of Kingdom Hearts?" she asked. "Power over life and death? No wonder Xehanort wants the χ-blade for himself."

That didn't sound good. That didn't sound good at all. Riku and Xion had similar grim expressions on their faces. Had they really gone through all that trouble just to get another ambiguous clue?

"But… it doesn't say who the ruler will be," Kairi said, plucking at Mr. Meow's fur. "If anyone deserves to rule over Kingdom Hearts, it's—"

"Sora," they both finished for her, and even just hearing his name made her feel better.

"It is him, it has to be," she said, sitting up straighter. "No one can connect hearts the way he can."

If she told herself that, she could keep Xehanort's ominous words out of her mind.

"Kairi, we had the same thought, but… we can't let our guard down," Riku said. "It would be a disaster if we did. And if we're going by who can connect hearts, well… Xehanort's just as good at sticking his heart into other people as Sora is bringing hearts into his."

"And it sounds like we might lose the battle anyway." Xion sighed and flopped against the back of the couch. "Whatever hope we have won't come until light expires, whatever that means."

"Maybe it means… we have to lose the battle to win the war," Kairi said, though she wasn't sure how she felt about that, either. "Listen, there was something else I was doing while I went around the worlds."

She explained what she'd been doing to Riku and Xion, and they both looked impressed.

"So you've been trying to strengthen Sora's ability? Good thinking, Kairi," Riku said, and she flushed. "Sora is always at his strongest when he's connected to his friends."

Xion nodded. "It might be just what he needs in the final battle. Just what we need, even."

"Actually…" Kairi said, setting Mr. Meow aside, "I have another idea."

It was time, at long last, to share her plan.

Kairi met Sora in the secret garden by the castle later that night. Xehanort had agreed not to attack anyone until tomorrow, and for once he was keeping his word. For tonight at least no one's safety was at risk.

The garden was as beautiful as Kairi had described, even if it was still in ruins. She was sitting with her back against an old stone wall and staring up at the stars, and she brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled when she saw him.

Sora just stared back at her. When she reached for his hand, it was kinda embarrassing how much of an effect she had on him. He'd missed her touch, craved it in their weeks spent apart.

"Sora, I have something I want to talk to you about," she said softly, twining their fingers together.

Uh-oh. That was never a good thing to hear.

"Don't worry, it's not like that." She looked up into his eyes and smiled sadly. "What I was going to say is, remember what I told Xehanort? About how you were with me when he experimented on me, even though that shouldn't really be possible?"

Sora nodded. How could he forget? That was the moment he'd first realized maybe something good could come from all of this.

"I meant it," she said. "Lately, I've been thinking… what if you really were there?"

"What do you mean?" Sora asked. He wished with all his heart that he could have been, but she hadn't been able to see or hear him. His stomach sank at the reminder of how completely and utterly powerless he'd been to help.

Kairi shook her head. "I don't know, but… your heart's special, and if anyone could find a way to do it, you could."

He knelt next to her, his throat closing up at her words. "Believe me, Kairi, if… if I could've let you know I was there, I would've."

"Well, I know now. I know you shared my suffering. I dreamed you freed me from that tank. And I held you as you cried for me in the Secret Place. I can't tell you how much all that means to me, Sora."

The lump in his throat got bigger. "Of course. It's the least I could do," he said softly. He meant it, too. Her suffering was his to bear. They were in this together.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Are you trying to make me cry, silly?"

"No. If I had my way, you'd never cry again. Not unless they were happy tears."

"I feel the same way." She cupped his cheek, and he melted into her touch. "And Sora… I brought all this up again because I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

She paused and fiddled with her necklace, not quite meeting his eyes. "If it's okay with you, I want to do for you what you did for me."

He took a deep breath. "Yes. Please."

Her eyes went wide at his agreement. He wanted to do this, and he'd even thought about asking her himself. It was brave of her to offer, and he wanted to keep rebuilding the trust between them.

And if sharing what had happened to him with Donald and Goofy had helped, he could only imagine how much better he'd feel after sharing it with her. She'd healed his heart before. There was no reason she couldn't do it again.

It was funny. He hadn't wanted her to know before. But she'd already seen him at his worst. Together she and Riku had pulled him out of the abyss. What were a few more nightmares in comparison?

"Are you sure?" she asked.

He attempted a smile. "Yeah. I can't keep this all bottled up inside of me. Not if I want to be able to fight tomorrow. I don't know if you heard, but… Xemnas and Ansem tried to take Roxas and Naminé, and my Heartless form came out again. I kept it under control, but… it's obvious I still need to be careful. Getting those feelings out will help, I think. Besides, I'm tired of hiding things from you. From now on, I'm telling you everything."

Because she deserved that much, at least.

She smiled sadly and poked his nose. "You don't have to tell me everything, you know. Just what you feel comfortable with."

"Yeah." He found her hands to hide the shaking in his and took another deep breath. "Kairi, this… this won't feel good. There's a lot of stuff that's… well, it's pretty bad." He chuckled weakly. "If you don't want to see it, I understand."

She shook her head. "I'm sticking with you no matter what." She gave his hands a gentle squeeze. "Share whatever you want with me."

He swallowed and nodded. "Okay."

"Start with something small, and we'll work our way up from there."

He paused, his resolve faltering. "Can I… Can I hold you?"

This would be easier, if he didn't have to look her directly in the eye. And holding her safe in his arms would be a good reminder that she was here and she was okay.

She nodded, and he leaned against the cold stone of the wall and held his arms out. She snuggled into his embrace, and he wrapped himself around her, hoping to shield her from the cruelty of what had happened to him, what had happened to them both.

He connected their hearts and began. In some ways, it was painful, reliving the humiliation and agony and helplessness he'd felt, especially since he'd never wanted Kairi to see him like this. Sharing these things with her was difficult, and it took him a few attempts to open himself up completely.

But something else happened, too. Such an open display of trust and vulnerability on his part was strengthening the bond between them, just like he knew it would. He could feel it happening, little by little, link by link.

With each memory he shared, he gained the courage to share another one, and then another one. Things he would have been ashamed to show her before he now felt no reason to hide. Not when she was being so patient and kind and compassionate. And so what had once driven them apart was bringing them together.

Something good was coming of this, just like he knew it would. Even when it got to be too much and he transformed into his Heartless form, she didn't bolt or run. She just rested in his arms till he had calmed down enough for them to continue. And the way she looked at him and touched his face, like he wasn't a monster, like he was just himself, helped more than she could ever know.

She saw what was inside his heart, saw it and understood it and helped him endure it. Sometimes that meant they cried over what had happened, and sometimes that meant they raged over it. And sometimes they did both. Then she used the light in her heart to heal it, offering her good memories in place of the bad ones, and the pain gave way to relief and comfort.

When it was finally over, he'd never felt closer to her before. The memories were still there, and with them lingering regret and anger and sorrow, but the feeling that had settled over him was remarkably like peace. Peace and something else, something incredibly tender and affectionate and meant only for her.

"Kairi," he breathed, his tone completely giving him away. He caressed her cheek, and she attempted a weary smile before collapsing into his arms. The effort it had taken to heal him had drained her completely. Sora frowned. He hadn't meant to burden her with what was troubling him so much that she passed out.

Well, they should probably go back to Merlin's house, anyway. It was getting late. He cradled her in his arms and stood, marveling at the incredible thing she'd just done for him even while he worried she'd pushed herself too far.

The walk back was long, but he hardly noticed. She looked so peaceful as she slept, safe and relaxed in his arms.

Before he knew it they were back in her room. Tucking her into bed, he leaned over and gave her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. But when he straightened and went to the door, her voice stopped him.

"I felt that."

Busted. He rubbed the back of his neck. "S-sorry."

The blankets rustled. "Sora, you goofball, are you really apologizing for kissing me?"

"Yes, because—"

"I should be the one apologizing for kissing you."

"Huh?" He turned around and stared at her, and there was something very vulnerable in her eyes as she peeked out at him from under the covers.

Of course. Xehanort had taunted her and told her she wasn't enough to save him after she'd kissed him. Well, he'd been wrong about that, but from the looks of it she still sort of believed him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry I ruined our first kiss. You didn't even get to enjoy it, because… because..."

She was wrong about that, too. He had to reassure her. He had to make this right. He walked over to her bed, and she made room for him to sit.

"It was pretty unexpected," he began. She frowned, and he hurriedly continued. "But that's what made it special. In that moment, I realized you wouldn't give up on me. I knew you would do whatever it took to save me. You put your whole heart into reaching me, and that's why it was the best first kiss I could ever ask for."

He smiled, and she made a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob.

"You just stood there like a dead fish," she said. "I had no idea if you were enjoying it or not."

He frowned, dark thoughts swirling inside him again. "That was because of Xehanort. He wouldn't let me kiss you back, even though I wanted to." He paused, working up his courage to say the rest. "And believe me, I really wanted to."

She lifted the covers off her face, and her cheeks were pink. "You did?"

He grinned. "You heard me, didn't you? That noise I made, I really did sound like a dying fish."

She giggled. "Yeah. Your eyes turned blue, too. I thought I had imagined it, after Xehanort... " She trailed off, a frown knitting her eyebrows together.

"You didn't. Xehanort was scared you were about to free me from him, so he lied to you."

"Of course he did. He ruins everything he touches," she muttered. "Everything's just one giant experiment to him."

"Yeah. He treats people like bottles on a shelf. And that's why we have to stop him."

He brushed her hair back and gave her one last kiss on the forehead, but before he could leave, she spoke again.

"Sora, remember what Young Xehanort told me?"

He settled back onto the bed. "He said you were going to lose the one you were trying to protect, right?"

Ominous words, but that was most of what Xehanort said anyway. Sora hadn't been too surprised to read about it in her letter.

"What if he means you?" Kairi asked.

Sora was silent for a long moment. He didn't want to tell her about his concerns, about his thoughts about what the white king's fate might be. But hiding things from her wasn't the way to go. That much he knew.

"He might," he finally said. "I was the white king on that chessboard, after all. If light expires, then…"

"Don't you say it," she commanded, her eyes flashing. "Don't you dare say it."

"I won't."

She took his hand in hers, bringing the faded scars on his wrist to her lips so she could kiss them. There was a soft glow of light, and the scars grew even fainter.

"I won't let anything else happen to you," she said, her voice filled with anguish as she looked up into his eyes. "I'll keep you safe, I promise."

"Kairi—"

She clung to his shirt and refused to let go, even when he tried to leave.

"Stay with me," she pleaded, and Sora knew he couldn't resist any longer. Screw propriety, she wanted his comfort and who was he to deny her? Especially since he wanted to stay with her, too. Besides, he'd promised. Not out loud, of course, but he'd promised to provide her with whatever comfort and care she might need, and he was determined to follow through with that.

"Using my own words against me, huh?" he said, pulling his shoes off. They clattered to the floor and were soon joined by his socks and jacket.

She grinned and winked. "You know it." Lifting the blanket, she scooted over and made room for him.

He turned out the light and climbed into bed beside her. She snuggled into his embrace, and it felt good just to hold her, to breathe in her scent and bury his face in her hair. To know she was safe here in his arms as they drifted off into the realm of dreams.

Whatever tomorrow might bring, tonight, at least, they could be together.

The sun rose bright and early on Radiant Garden the following morning. Everyone was gathered together above the Great Maw, the chasm where the Battle of a Thousand Heartless had taken place stretching out below them. The preparations and plans had been made for the final fight. All that remained was to go to the Keyblade Graveyard where Master Eraqus and Xehanort were already waiting.

But Sora wanted to talk to everyone else before they left. He searched for Kairi's hand, and she offered it, hoping to infuse some of her encouragement into his grasp.

"Hey guys," he started. "Um, first of all, I wanted to thank you again for coming to save me. And then afterwards… you don't know how much it means to me that you stuck with me." His gaze flickered to Donald and Goofy. They smiled at him and nodded, urging him to continue. "And now we're about to face Xehanort for the final time. Thank you. Thank you for coming with me."

"Of course," Aqua said. "This is our fight, too."

Terra nodded. "Exactly. We couldn't just leave it to you to take care of."

Roxas spoke up. "I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we all have a bone to pick with Xehanort." That got a weak chuckle out of a few people, and he crossed his arms and grinned.

"Yeah," Sora said. "I just wanted to let you guys know… if anything happens—"

"Sora, have some faith in us," Ven said, putting his hand on Sora's shoulder. "We're gonna win."

Ven's proclamation was met with general murmurs of agreement. He smiled, and Sora attempted a smile back.

"And you know why?" Ven continued. "Because we all have each other. Together we're more powerful than Xehanort could ever be."

Sora nodded and turned to address everyone again. "Yeah, I know. And you know what else? What I said the night of the party hasn't changed. Whatever happens, I wanted you to know that."

Kairi's heart thudded in her chest. Just like before, his words were addressed to everyone but meant for her. With a start, she realized she still hadn't told him how she felt. And now wasn't the time. She wanted to kick herself for wasting the opportunity she'd had last night, but the right moment had never come.

The first chance she got, she was fixing that. No, wait. She had to wait for the perfect moment. Sora, romantic sap that he was, deserved no less.

"Gosh, Sora. We feel the same way." Mickey gestured to everyone behind him. "You've done so much to help all these folks who are hurtin'."

"Of course. I couldn't just stand there and watch. I had to help."

"And now there's something we want to do to help you." Riku turned to Kairi and nodded. Now was her opportunity. It was her plan, first hatched after Sora had confided in her about how Xehanort had forced all their hurt on him.

"Sora," she said, "you had to bear all our pain, but you never got to feel our joy." She took his hands in hers. "Well, we can do something about that. Think of this as our thank you gift to you."

He tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowing. "What do you mean?"

"What else?" she said, smiling. "Connect our hearts to yours. And not just us – all of your friends."

Sora's eyes went wide. "Kairi? What are you saying?"

"I wasn't just strengthening the barriers around the worlds when I was gone, you know," she said, squeezing his hand. "I found your other friends, too."

Realization hit him, and he gave her a look of pure wonder and awe. Then he connected his heart to everyone's, and before long he was crying. Not out of sadness or pain, but out of pure bliss. Before he had been overwhelmed by their hurt, but now he was overwhelmed by their joy.

Their memories of him – how they'd felt when he'd saved them, their favorite things about him, the love they held in their hearts for him – all descended on him at once in an overpowering wave. So many hearts connected together at the same time were amplifying the effect, and it wasn't long before he was left reeling.

He staggered backwards, his hand clutching his heart as his voice trembled. "Stop, it's too much. I can't – I can't hold it all—"

Xion and Ven tackled him with a hug, and the rest of them followed suit. He was soon buried in a pile of hugs and hair ruffles and shoulder pats. Naminé showed him another picture she'd drawn for him, and he smiled and wiped his eyes as he took it from her. It was like the night of the party, except this time there was no sorrow in his tears. Just joy, pure joy, and love for them.

At one point, his eyes met Kairi's, and the gratitude in his, the gratitude mixed with adoration and affection, made her heart melt. She smiled back at him, unable to stop the big, cheesy grin from lighting up her entire face.

Yes, Kairi decided, Xehanort, cruel and cold and calculating though he may be, was missing something very important. And what he was missing was the key to everything. Without it, he didn't stand much of a chance against them. Not at all.

A/N: I decided to post this chapter early because I will be pretty busy around the time I normally post a new chapter (and AO3 will be down, which is where I crosspost it). Enjoy the early chapter and happy almost weekend, everyone!

Anyway, starting from the next chapter we will be getting into the final battle material. Just a warning that it will be violent, the most violent part of this story, in fact. It also deals with some pretty dark material, much like the Soranort arc did. If you'd prefer to skip the violent/dark material, feel free to PM me and I can send you a summary of what happened instead.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed last week (and to those who have reviewed at any point, I really appreciate it). Buckle in because we're getting to the final arc of the story, at long last! It's kind of bittersweet, because on the one hand, I want to share the rest of this story with you all, but I also don't want it to end. You've been great and I've really enjoyed interacting with all of you. Take care until next week!