Disclaimer: All rights to Rick Riordan.

AN: Thank you so much for your patience and apologies for the wait! It's been a hectic week. For those of you who haven't already, please check out my first oneshot Elegy. And as always, thank you times a billion for all your R&Rs. And for any of you who feel like Percy has been kind of selfish and out of character, don't worry. Your fears will be addressed shortly- it's not just you. It does have it's purpose!

Tempting the Fates

Chapter Sixteen

Some Much Needed Laughter

Percy

Percy's stomach had stopped complaining since he'd eaten an entire shack's worth of drakon wings. Well, at least all of what was in there that wasn't completely contaminated. Bob had accepted two of the wings with thanks but then offered one of them back to the son of the sea as he hoovered the food down.

He had never been so hungry in his life. He ripped the meat off the bone with avarice. Percy couldn't even stop himself until there wasn't a scrap left on a single bone.

What would Annabeth say? He could only imagine.

Except she's up there. Eating blue jelly beans and Almond Joys and gulping blue raspberry slushies and loving life. Piper's got her horn and I bet they've got a campfire and are making smokes and burgers. Man I would absolutely kill for a burger. I'd probably eat the whole cow.

Full as he was, the demigod was not sated and his stomach twisted with a resentful pang. Unlike drinking from the shore of the Phlegethon, the meat he'd eaten did help with the feeling of fullness of his stomach but it wasn't the same as mortal food. Maybe there was some kind of science to it but since it was divine or demonic or supernatural or however wanted to think of it, it didn't compute with his digestive system. Lest not in the way that nourished him any.

Go fucking figure.

A big fat burrito was sounding pretty good or, heck, even some skittles. Especially the blue ones. Man he'd sell his kidney for a bag of blue skittles. A guy could live without a kidney, couldn't they? He was pretty sure that Annabeth had talked about that some time like the black market for organs or something terribly (un)interesting and he'd just kind of 'mmm'ed and 'ahhh'ed and glazed over.

One thing he was positive that all of Tartarus had never experienced before was a thunderous belch of a demigod battling the leaden feeling of monster food in his belly.

Nico threw icicles over his shoulder— the look was so cold that Percy actually stumbled in his steps and nearly went crashing to the ground.

Gods, he's gotten really good at that. Must be practicing.

There was only a brief pause in his thoughts as he scrambled to his feet and jogged to catch up.

"Fine. I'm totally fine. Meant to do that, don't worry about me!" he muttered to no one at all.

Or… or I make him all warm and fuzzy inside.

Letting out a groan, he finally caught up with the other's.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me there was food. Like… real food," he whined.

If he heard, the only living son of Hades didn't so much as flinch or incline his head in any sort of recognition. Apparently he was still testy about the minor concussion he may have sustained helping the other boy.

Bob, on the other hand, gave a bit of a shrug.

"You were hungry. You ate. I see no problem," had been his response for the third time.

And, for the third time, Percy had to go quiet because he couldn't honestly argue with that.

The closest comeback he received was in the form of a triumphant smile and di Angelo's dark eyes locking with his green ones. Or maybe it was a little bit less of a smile than it was a really intent glower. A shiver crawled up Percy's spine and he swore that Nico nearly chilled the blood in his veins. No point in acknowledging that one. He had basically forced the other boy to go into a crumbling building to get his dinner because he was a hair smaller than him and in the process said building did kind of bury him. Then he'd eaten ribs rather than check on him— but to be fair, Bob had had it under control.

And when had Nico started only being a hair smaller than him, anyway? He used to gulf the other child of a Big Three.

I swear he was a lot smaller a few days ago. Maybe he's going through a growth spurt? Talk about awkward timing. We'll waltz through the doors of death— because it's totally something we would do— and everyone will be like 'woah you made it' and then 'what the hell, Nico! You got tall!' Forget about what happened.

Honestly, that would be kind of a relief. Snickering, he rolled his eyes at himself. He was probably going insane but Tartarus more than likely did that to a guy. After all, Nico had come back all kinds of wigged out after the first time— just a matter of time, really, before he lost his marbles. Not like Percy had started with a whole bag to begin with— at least according to Annabeth. Surely she would know better than most.

It was impossible to see more than a few feet in front of them at any given point, at least with any depth of clarity. Because beyond being pitch black with some weird dim throbbing light that palpitated from who knew where— the atmosphere itself was predatory. It didn't want them to be able to see what was coming; he felt it in his gut. There might be a vague shape somewhere ahead but it never quite snapped into focus until it was nearly on top of them.

Poseidon's son put his faith in the fact that Bob might be able to see better than either he or Nico. Not that he'd asked Nico and maybe the prince of the Underworld had his own built in GPS going on. Bob, however, was made for Tartarus, really. Or, well, Tartarus was made for his kind. It was the whole chicken or the egg question, wasn't it? However one wanted to look at it.

"Woah… is that…"

"Yes! Rest stop! We are here." To illustrate exactly how pedestrian his semi-coherent thought had been, Bob waved to a sign post not a foot from Percy. It was a welcome sign to 'the only pit stop in all of Tartarus.'

Nico cackled and he really deserved that one. At least he wasn't totally ignoring Percy now.

Standing just a bit taller, Bob pranced forward clearly delighted with himself. IT was comical because the other didn't need to stand any straighter; he already towered over both of them enough that if the sun ever braved shining into the depths of Tartarus, both demigods would be engulfed in his shadow. Even if Nico sat on Percy's shoulders. Still, it was impossible to begrudge the thoughtful glint in Bob's eye.

Maybe he's trying to impress me or Nico? That's really sort of sweet…

Jostling some kind of bead curtain he imagined was acting as a door, they entered a temple of sorts. Granite pillars held the high ceiling though more than a cursory glance up showed it was cracked and worse for wear. On second thoughts… this might not exactly be any safer than the Gorgon Sister's Gourmet Grub shack. Maybe Poseidon's son should say something lest another building collapse onto Nico; the son of the sea's life would be forfeit, he was certain.

Circling the outer ring of the temple, Percy Jackson wondered in wonder with his jaw only halfway meeting the floor. It was definitely man made and in the centre of the temple was a massive statue of Hermes. A few feet away from that was a massive hearth much like the one back at Camp Half Blood. How it glowed so bright or what continued to fuel the Greek fire, Percy didn't bother questioning. But how a temple found itself in whole inside the depths of Tartarus, that was worst a brief thought.

"Where did it come from?" The younger demigod rasped obviously in the same state of wonder. Or maybe moreso. His eyes were full moons and the gravitated around the temple until they'd circled it three, four, five times. There was still more to see.

Bob shrugged and hookedh is thumbs into the shoulder straps of his coveralls. "Not sure. Fell one day. Long time ago… hard to tell. Time down here is different than in the Underworld or up top. But it fell a long time ago. Monsters don't like it… makes them uncomfortable. Not a good place to come. Many die. Creeps them out." Seeing the Titan shiver was unsettling at best and Percy chewed at his bottom lip hoping that the dunk in the Lethe didn't somehow reverse itself because it looked like some long rusted gears were attempting to grease themselves back up and turn.

"It fell." Nico repeated the words as if it made the most sense out of anything they'd encountered so far— and maybe it did.

Ahead of him, the Ghost King stood inspecting the fifteen foot statue as if sizing it up. Sidling up next to him, Percy gave a playful bounce of his hip against the younger man's. "I don't think its' going to get up and walk away. Or attack us. Fairly certain it's actually made of stone."

Nico recoiled widening the chasm between them until there was a less than friendly distance.

"Do you really want to take the chance?"

"Yeah, okay. I guess it doesn't hurt to give it a once over. Make sure it's actually safe. Who knows if some dumb telkhine decided to work it over."

Percy continued jabbering on just to fill the silence.

A once over included both men circling the monument and giving it a few well placed pokes and kicks attempting to discover any booby-traps or trap doors. While this plan may not have been the most ingenious it was certainly the fastest and most comprehensive. They were done in under two minutes and both quite satisfied the thing wasn't going to spring to life and throttle them or pop open a hidden door and molotov them.

Bob stood behind watching them without a word. If he thought there was anything unusual about their behaviour he was too polite to voice his opinion. The thought was so outlandish that Percy had to snort— imagining a Titan existing too respectful to let a pair of underage demigods know when they were being foolish— now that was a good one. Then again, the thought of being in Tartarus was pretty outlandish so that kind of set the bar for their lives at the moment.

Not that Percy would have minded a slightly less challenging bar but if there was one thing the son of the sea had accepted, it was that the gods had nothing less inshore for him than unsurpassable odds.

And he would, of course, be expected to traverse.

As always.

"It hasn't gotten up and walked away so I say it's fine."

Because safe was probably too broad of a word. And since they hadn't been blown away or had any hidden chambers creak open and drop them even further into Tartarus, Percy decided it was clear enough for him to drop down by the hearth of Greek fire. He gave a casual pat to one of Hermes' sandal clad feet.

"Sorry about the uncerimonial pat down, big guy. I'll burn some extra offerings for you— you know— when we get back up top."

Hermes probably couldn't hear him, not from this depth anyway, but he felt better paying at least some respect.

"Bob will check outside. Make sure everything is okay. Cover up your scent."

Nico smiled his thanks to his unlikely friend and dropped down a few feet away on the opposite side, green flames licking the air and distorting his face some. It made it look softer, almost wistful…

Fortunately the flames didn't burn hot or he couldn't have flopped back and laid before them. Tartarus as a whole was humid. Now he loved moisture as much as the next elemental spawn but even the act of sitting caused perspiration to bead on his forehead and droplets to slip down his chest towards his navel. It was physically sickening.

Stretching out on the cool granite floor— he wasn't going to ask how it stayed wintry— the tshirt Nico had tossed at his head rode up his stomach. No doubt a tanned patch of skin was uncovered but he couldn't be bothered to attempt to pull it down. It was still damp (either from his sweat or from the cannonball into the Phlegethon) but pressed to the cool ground as it was it was heavenly. Fuck it, let his skin hang out a bit. He just wanted to cool off and feel like he wasn't burning up from the inside out.

I would give anything for an ice cold can of soda. Pepsi. Mountain Dew. Blue mountain dew… definitely mountain dew…

"Ow! Holy… what the fuck!?"

And then he was covered in a wave of sticky foam. An exploded can of pepsi rolled around near him having crashed hard into his head and then popped the moment it met with the cold granite floor.

Sitting up, he rubbed at the lump quickly forming on the back of his head. Nico disappeared behind the glowing green flames and at first he thought he was choking. Had something gotten him, too?

Completely forgetting the can of something or other at his feet, Percy threw himself forward and jumbled forward until he was on the other side of the hearth. What he found was Nico, hands over his face, shoulder jumping in fits accompanied by a raspy roar.

"Oh hah hah. I thought you were being attacked or something, dirtbag." Feinting a kick, he instead just pushed at the Ghost King's ankle with his foot.

"Your face!" He giggled. "Your fucking face!"

Then he snorted and it was all over. Percy fell to the ground, knees locking from laughter.

"A-and… and then it… it exploded all over you! You're drenched in… you're d-drenched in soda. What the hell is that?" Nico was off again, rolling on the ground holding his sides. It was clear from the way his body heaved that he was struggling to get air. His sallow skin flushed with warmth as he laughed and his onyx eyes softened when they opened.

Percy was laying next to him, snickering at his own misfortune. "It hurt." Which just sent Nico off for a third time.

When he finally pulled himself together, Nico went about answering the question the other hadn't even thought of asking. "It must be where the offerings come. Somewhere at camp or… another camp somewhere. The offerings burnt to the gods."

"Yeah, well, next time they should dump the soda into the fire not the god damn can. That's dangerous!"

Nico pushed himself into a sitting position eyes falling on the expanse of tan flesh of Percy's lower abdomen. He sat up not attempting to cover it but Nico's eyes cast away just as quickly. "Yeah, sorry. I'll try not to stretch your shirt out. Little small and all that."

"Don't worry. You can keep it. I have more."

Percy just imagined him with a whole closet of black tshirt somewhere. Rubbing at his head one more time, he bumped Nico's arm with his own. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Look… burger. And M&Ms."

That caught his attention like little else. Percy grabbed at the burger and before he could take a huge bite, glanced up at Nico's idle eyes. Closing his mouth, he held out the burger. "You want some? I mean, you didn't really eat any of that junk before. You've got to be starving."

"N-no. No, I'm okay."

"Come on, you have to eat something. I don't think I saw you eat since… you know… before…" the words died on his lips but they passed unspoken between them.

Before the last time you went to Tartarus.

Nico's fingers brushed his as he reached forward and took the burger from his hands. It even had a sesame and poppy seed bun. Talk about luxurious. Nico didn't rip his hand away like before but let the touch carry on just a second longer before grasping the burger and withdrawing. He took one bite, then a second and handed it back to Percy.

Using his hand, he wiped some ketchup and mustard from the side of his mouth and chewed. Despite his recent growth spurt he looked like a hamster packing food away in his cheeks. Percy simply chuckled and shared a smile with him; he nudged his foot against Nico's once more.

The son of Hades' rolled his eyes dismissively and waved his hand in the universal symbol for: get lost Percy fucking Jackson.

Percy accepted this as a white flag and then stuffed his mouth with actual digestible people food.

Bob returned and, much like Percy, shouted in glee. "M&M's! Bob loves M&M's! Please may I have?"

Nico handed them over without a second thought, trading them for a slice of orange that came sizzling out of the fire. He picked off the ring and sucked on the flesh slowly.

Popping a few of the chocolate candies into his mouth, Bob grinned is crooked (and semi frightening) smile. "Young demigods need sleep. Bob keeps watch. Will keep you safe."

Whether it was the bump in his head or the food in his stomach, Percy accepted this as a safe idea so he stretched out a few inches from Nico laying Riptide at his side.

When he turned his head, he caught Nico's cautious eyes considering him. He blinked a few times and without a word rolled over onto his side so he was facing the son of Hades and let himself relax.

Nico mirrored his motion and they laid there without a word, the son of Hades facing the fire and Percy with his back to it.

AN: Thank you again for reading! And as a bit of a weird request, I'd love to do some Percico prompts so if any of you have any little ideas or themes for drabbles please message them to me. I'm really interested!