Back on the ship Kirk decided to check his computer as he was sure either Bones or Spock would have left a message. There was one from Scott, Uhura, McCoy and Spock. Scott's was to the point, "Captain; Chekov, Sulu and I are going to get roaring drunk to forget that the last three weeks ever happened. We wanted to go with Mister Spock but he said no in that way nobody can get around. We will return to the ship when she is ready. Scott out."
Uhura's was next, "Captain: I have gone with Mister Spock and Doctor McCoy to help repair the communications system on Bannet Base. Mister Spock was set to go by himself as he said he would not endanger other officers by asking they accompany him knowing there is a possibility of a very understandably hostile reception. I explained to him that I could get the communications system working while he took care of other matters. He set certain conditions I do not agree with but will respect and abide by in order to go. I know he was very reluctant at first when I said I agreed and was going but said he welcomed my experience and exceptional expertise in many fields, especially in communications. Sir, it was like he did before you and that thing on the bridge when he corrected that thing, stood up for us against that thing, let us know that at least somebody else recognized we knew our part. He acknowledged that I know what I am doing and that I am very good at it. We should return before the Enterprise is ready to ship out. Uhura out."
Kirk sat very still for a moment then shook his head. She was so right. He had not stood up for his crew. He had let himself get too involved with trying Fallet's way he had almost lost Kirk's way. He let out a sigh, not too sure if he wanted the lecture or not then he clicked McCoy's message. "Well, Jim boy, you got totally blinded by Fallet, didn't you?" McCoy started his message in his usual friendly questioningly way. "I'm still madder than hell at you for what you did and may have calmed down enough to be sociable towards you when we get back. That Fallet-caused blindness is the only reason I can think of that would have let you let a photon torpedo be fired on a base without a solid reason, especially when Spock was so against it. Whatever Fallet did to you must have not only totally blinded you but also taken away your mind for you to have done what you did to Spock. That stubborn, green-blooded computer you used to almost always listen to is set to go into an already stirred-up hornet's nest as your proxy and help those people and I will be damned if he is going alone. While those people are going to need medical aid we both know they are not going to look on us too kindly as we did attack them and are likely to seek revenge of some sort. It took some doing to talk him into taking me as he thought you might need me more here but I got him to see the logic of the situation. Of course before he said yes he told me if I went I had to agree, even if things get extremely hostile, that I would not to interfere with or object to any action taken or decision made by him. I think we both know what he means by that. Like a blasted fool I agreed. We have to get there and contain that gainine: I'll keep Spock away from direct contact with it. If it were to get off that Base there is not telling what havoc could result. We will be back in plenty of time. Oh, while we are away you can try to find the James Kirk we know and care about. That thing we have had for three weeks that looked like him has been destroying relationships and people. I will do my best to keep our hobgoblin from getting himself killed. McCoy out."
Momentarily James Kirk got up and walked around his quarters. Had he really been that captivated by Fallet, so blinded to what Fallet's actions were doing to his crew? He knew the man's reputation for success in his missions but he had not looked at his reputation with his crew. He did know that Fallet had the highest turnaround of crew but had always put it down to fatigue. Now he wondered if it wasn't for something else.
Not sure he really wanted to see Spock's message he sat for quite some time before the computer, took a deep breath, and then hit display. "Official message to Captain James T Kirk, Federation Starship Enterprise, from First Officer Spock, Federation Starship Enterprise. Captain Kirk, while on route to Starbase Eight I took the liberty of contacting Admiral Billings and requested that a medium range craft with warp capabilities be fully stocked with emergency and medical supplies as well as electronic equipment so that upon our arrival I could take it back to Bannet Base and oversee the repair work of the damage we caused. I explained there had been an incident that you and Commodore Fallet could best fully explain but that it was imperative for someone from Starfleet, or more specifically from the Enterprise, to return to explain why the incident occurred and assist in whatever way possible. I further explained that as I not only had firsthand knowledge of what happened but also the computer expertise which will be required to effect repairs I was the best suited and therefore the most logical one to go. As per your orders I stayed in my quarters and had no contact with other Enterprise crew until we arrived back at Starbase Eight. Upon arrival at Starbase Eight, at the end out the mission, I again spoke with fellow officers to explain what I was going to do and to take my leave from them. I was unable to dissuade either Lieutenant Uhura or Doctor McCoy from accompanying me. I thoroughly explained to them that we will encounter an extremely hostile reception and likely find working there most difficult but they both insisted and used highly, for humans, persuasive logic to get me to agree. Before allowing either of them to accompany me I made both of them agree that under no circumstances are they to interfere with nor argue about any action I take or decision I make. Should the mission be successful and incident-free we will return in time for them to rejoin the Enterprise before her next mission. Should the mission not be successful I will find a way for both the Lieutenant and the Doctor to be returned safely and unharmed.
"Captain Kirk, there may be those on Bannet Base who adhere to the old belief that one person is responsible therefore one person must pay for what transpired and if that is so I will, as the senior officer, accept full responsibility and take whatever the consequences are for such an action as dictated by their laws. Further, as per your orders to stay the hell out of your life, I did not seek you out to tell you of my plans. As First Officer I failed you aboard the Enterprise and I apologise for that, Sir. I failed in my duty to make you see logic on the bridge, I failed to stop you from allowing such an action to take place, but I trust you will see the logic in my actions now. While my failure to get you to reconsider the actions taken on the bridge plays a part in my decision it was your request that I stay out of your life that showed me that my action has been the only one I can make. Upon completion of this mission to Bannet Base I will not be rejoining the Enterprise, Admiral Billings already knows of this and has my request duly noted." There was a pause then Spock gave him the Vulcan salute, "Live long and prosper, Captain James T. Kirk. Spock out."
For a long time Kirk just sat trying to calm himself the way Spock had tried to teach him. He had to think of what to do, he had to calm himself and think of what had to be done, he had to accept what is, is.
As usual Spock had thought of all the possibilities and made plans accordingly. Spock would have known that McCoy would, upon arrival, have the base quarantined, thus keeping him off, and out of danger whispered a quiet voice in his mind. He was taking the blame as he felt responsible. That blasted Vulcan seemed to want to take responsibility for any crew member's error that he was even slightly aware of. For McCoy to have quarantined the base they would already have arrived.
The officer who had walked him over still stood by the door waiting. Kirk was pleased he could not see the screen and could only tell that he had finished reading his messages.
"I need another few minutes."
"Understood, Sir."
In an attempt to lighten the situation Kirk said, "Guess you have had a few wayward Captains to escort."
The young officer looked at him, "Totally off the record, Sir, but we seem to only have these escort duties when Commodore Fallet is involved. For some reason he just seems to cause trouble. Usually it is trying to find his crew who often do not want to go back on the same ship as him and we have had three Captains who did not want him back on their ships."
Another thing Kirk had not known about Fallet. He had caused trouble for other Captains and their crews. How many officers had he mistreated? If how he had allowed Fallet to treat his crew was any indication there were a lot of shattered officers out there.
How could he have failed to stand up for his crew in front of Fallet when he would call them slow and incompetent? First was Chekov for being a one one hundredth of a degree short of what he ordered, then Sulu had taken more than seven seconds to respond, Scotty had been unable to tell him the exact amount of power they were using without looking at the monitors, Uhura for questioning him about not wanting to hear a message on audio, McCoy for being on the bridge for no reason, and Spock. Spock had seemed to be his main target: finding fault with everything he did or said, questioning him and his abilities, and Spock had taken it. Not once had he spoken up against Fallet regarding his own performance, only in defense of that of the crew. They had all seen how hurt Spock was by it and by his Captain's silence. Five times Fallet had sent Spock from the bridge for what he considered insubordination when Spock had defended the actions of others and Spock had gone. Kirk now saw it as Spock doing what he should have done, what was his duty as Captain to do, defend the actions of his crew. Each time Spock had spoken to Fallet it had been a fair criticism of his treatment of the others. No matter what Fallet had said Spock never spoke back about his own treatment and Kirk had seen how he had looked at the others at those times as though telling them not to interfere.
Then had come the time when McCoy came to the bridge. Kirk closed his eyes, put his head in his hands, and clearly remembered that last time. McCoy had come onto the bridge. He had always come to the bridge when things were quiet in Sickbay, while he professed it was just to pass time Kirk knew those blue eyes were carefully studying each and every officer for any hint of tiredness or any other factor that might lessen their efficiency. For some reason Fallet did not like it and asked, "What the hell are you doing on my bridge?"
McCoy had looked stunned and said, "Just passing the time making sure that everybody is okay."
"If they were not I would send them to you. You were not sent for nor are you wanted on my bridge. You are a subordinate officer who should know better. You lack the proper clearance level and you certainly lack the basic skills to be of any use,"
"Sir, with all due respect, Doctor McCoy has far more basic skills than you will possibly ever have." Spock had moved to stand next to McCoy and looked at Fallet, "He has a higher clearance level than you or even I have, and his position as ship physician allows him the right to,"
"You, you again!" Fallet had turned his attention to Spock, controlled fury had bee clear on his face, "How Kirk tolerates you is beyond my comprehension. A Captain is in command of the ship and especially when on the bridge. You should be honored to be First Officer but you seem to forget you are a mere subordinate to a Captain. You should know it is your role to remain silent unless asked by a superior officer for you opinion and then it is your duty to agree with their decision. I do not tolerate such gross insubordination. I control my bridge my way. Leave my bridge and do not return. Doctor, you go too as you are of absolutely no use here."
Spock had looked at him and he had, at that time for reasons he now did not understand, seen Fallet's point of needing to be in control. Spock had kept looking at him and started, "Captain, surely you do not agree with,"
"I do, First Officer. You have constantly contradicted the Commodore, corrected him when it was totally unnecessary. I now see how it could be. For too long I have not had true control." Kirk remembered the rage building in him, "You are nothing to me but an insubordinate subordinate officer who has grossly overstepped the line for the last time. You are confined to your quarters for the rest of this mission and are to have absolutely no contact with any other crew member until then. I am the Captain of this ship. I am your superior officer. Now get the hell off my bridge and stay the hell out of my life."
Spock had just stood looking at him for a moment, then nodded his head once, and said, "Yes, Sir." and left the bridge.
Bones had stood quietly, till Spock had left the bridge without looking at anybody. Then very slowly the doctor had glared at Fallet, "Sir, you can be assured I will not return to the bridge while you are here unless I am escorted here by at least three heavily armed guards with weapons set on kill pointed unwaveringly at me and then only if somebody other than you is dying." he turned and looked very levelly at him for a moment, then sighed and shook his head, "And after how you just let him treat Spock, after what you just said and did to Spock, I do not know who or what the devil you are and, right now, I don't even want to know you or ever again have anything to do with you." and left without looking back. Since then McCoy had not spoken directly to him and had deliberately avoided him by having the entire medical staff tell him McCoy was too busy to see him and that, by regulations, would only see him if he were injured, the ship was under attack, or a member of the crew was dying..
As he thought over what Spock had said in the recording Kirk realized the Vulcan had not called him Jim once. He had not even called him just Captain. There had been no expression on his face other than the full Vulcan one it had taken him years to get behind. There had been no familiarity at all in his voice. It had been totally official and by regulations with absolutely nothing personal. The only part of his report that showed a human aspect was his concern for Uhura and McCoy. Kirk had not spoken to or seen the Vulcan since he had calmly walked off the bridge. A knot was slowly forming deep within him as he realized how much he had hurt the one person who had always been there for him, the one person he trusted more than he trusted himself. Spock had known he would not have let him go back to Bannet Base, would not have let him accept responsibility, and would not have let him go to face what those at the Base might do. If the people on the Base were infuriated at the action he had allowed there was no telling what they might do. James Kirk knew that Spock would protect Uhura and McCoy at all costs just as he knew he would give his life if it meant no action would be taken against the Federation or him. Briefly Kirk shook his head; Spock had known it could very easily turn out to be a suicide mission. If it turned out to be that Kirk realized he would have driven Spock to it. He was responsible. Responsible not only as a Captain of a ship but also as a friend. Whatever happened to Spock and the others was his responsibility.
He stood up. It would be fine. When they came back he and Spock could talk. They would have to return here and when they did he would make Spock listen to him, he would get Spock to understand. It was not a no win situation. . When it was over they would talk. He would get Spock to see what had happened. It would be okay. Spock would understand. For a moment he relaxed then remembered that there was something about gainine and Vulcans he had once read when he first met Spock and wanted to know more about Vulcans. And Bones had said in his message about keeping Spock clear of it. He turned to the computer, "Computer, show details on gainine and Vulcans." It only took a moment for the screen to fill with information and it seemed like a very virulent and contagious disease and then he read "While Vulcanoids show an unusual immunity to the disease it is fatal to Vulcanoid species if the virus enters directly into their circulatory system. Once it is in the copper based blood it starts an irreversible cellular collapse resulting in death within sixty-four to seventy-two standard hours." His eyes seemed to only see "an irreversible cellular collapse resulting in death" as a sickening feeling started in the pit of his stomach. Spock would have known it was gainine, known it was fatal to Vulcans, and gone in his place.
No! He remembered to breathe again as he reminded himself that Spock was a most careful man. Spock would know what to watch out for. Spock would just advise and be well away from any danger. Some voice in the back of his head repeated, "While my failure to get you to reconsider the actions taken on the bridge plays a part in my decision it was your request that I stay out of your life that showed me that my action has been the only one I can make. I will not be rejoining the Enterprise." No, for a moment he silenced the voice as he knew how logically Spock viewed things and he just had to explain how his leaving the Enterprise was illogical and emotionally based.
The voice at the back of his head came back, "Vulcans do not believe in suicide but deliberate accidents do happen. My action Suicide mission. Not rejoining the Enterprise. Suicide mission. "
Quickly shaking off the thought he would not finish and slowly letting out a long breath he packed the few things he would need and left the Enterprise. The room he was taken to was smaller than his quarters but then it was just a bedroom with an ensuite which was all that was needed. All Kirk wanted to do was have a shower and a quick rest to calmly regroup his thoughts. He would need to as he had to face another day with Fallet and the Admiral before he found a way to get to them, and to get all of them back.
A/N Too hot and dry outside to be in the garden so thought I would quickly type and post part two and see how it goes. Have just over ten hours to get all the things done that I wanted to get done around this place by 2014 so best get to them. Enjoy the new year.