There was a long pause and Kirk fought the urge to pull the Vulcan to him thinking Spock had died. Those fifteen centimetres between his hand and Spock's seemed too far for his friend to reach in his condition. It was too far and yet the woman had said it was for Spock to decided, for Spock to really reach for him. What if that nod had been officer to officer and not friend to friend? Kirk remembered how long it had taken to get to really know Spock and for Spock to allow him to see past that Vulcan wall of impassiveness and was not sure if his actions had not rebuilt that wall between them. A small part of him could understand and accept that was a possibility, especially after how he had acted, how he had treated his friend. Kirk knew that if Spock decided what they had was gone he would just let go and slip away. Somehow Spock had to know it was still there, still real. He had to know that.

Then Spock took a deep breath At first just the long fingers slightly moved as though trying to grip Kirk's hand, then his hand and arm moved till his fingers gripped Kirk's. Kirk heard that baritone voice sigh rather than say, "Jim." as the fingers tightened around his and Spock's breathing eased into long breaths, not very deep but more relaxed.

The woman nodded, "You may take his hand and acknowledge his search as you are the one he has waited for. Now you must decide if he means to you what," Kirk had immediately taken Spock's hand in his again and started rubbing it as he did, "you mean to him. You must know that it will be up to you to help him to return to what he was as for five standard days he will be physically as a new born and you will be the one to be with him. My apprentices will assist with his bodily cleansing but you must hold his mind here. He is a Vulcan and will have no control over his body or his bodily functions till his body is cleared of all gainine and his mind rejoins it. With gainine Vulcans die in the body first while their minds tell them they if they truly do matter to a certain other or not. Should he feel another of those he has some feeling for and not you, for some time yet, he he will believe he does not matter to you and he will let the gainine take him for it is you he feels for most, you are who he has waited for. It is clear that he cares about Uhura and McCoy and considers them almost as close as he thinks of you and he cares deeply about Scott, Chekov, and Sulu as close family. But you are who centers him. You are who he fights to stay with. As you said hurtful words to him last time you spoke to him he will be uncertain as to if you are here out of duty or what you feel for him. In his state you cannot hide what you feel. Do you understand?"

For a moment Kirk could not think of Spock as being so vulnerable as she was stating he would be. When he looked down at his friend and really looked at his body he saw how the gainine had ravaged it, how wasted it looked. He looked at McCoy with many questions he wanted to ask.

McCoy saw his friend's pain and uncertainty in that look. He knew what was between the two men and knew what gainine should have done to Spock by now but this woman, this old woman, had had more experience in dealing with patients with gainine poisoning than he had and if this had worked for her in the past it was Spock's only hope.

Before McCoy could reply Kirk saw the truth in the blue eyes and he gave McCoy a nod of thanks and understanding. If McCoy thought he could do it then he knew he could. He could only hope that his very private Vulcan friend would understand and accept this help. He looked at the old woman and nodded. Remaining silent was starting to test his patience.

"You must know that for twelve hours a day he will be in a bath of liquid drawing the poison out. You will help in keeping his head above the liquid, help in keeping his mind on you and what you share, help him remembering that which you two have is important to both of you. While my apprentices will clean him after each bath and swaddle him in herbal blankets you must remain in physical contact with him so he feels you are there, so his mind will know you care. There is some liquid he must drink six times in a twenty-four hour period for the next five days and he will fight you making him drink it as it tastes foul and he must drink six hundred mils at a time. He will drink some and regurgitate some but you must ensure he swallows six hundred mils despite what he regurgitates. You will have to be with him at all times and you will find it difficult to get much, if any, real sleep. While your friends may assist you only you must assist him, only you may talk with him, only you may touch him."

As Kirk quickly looked at the others he saw them nod one by one as he looked at them, something he knew they would do. When he looked back at the woman she nodded, "I can see you accept this. You are worthy of this one. You may speak to him but only a few words at a time as he is in great physical pain and the gainine will be dulling his mind as it does to Vulcans which greatly troubles them. It causes them to remember parts of the past but mainly the last conversation and encounter with the one they care the most about. He may or may not speak but know if he does it will only be a few words and may be in either Vulcan or Standard. I will return shortly when I have his first bath is ready. You will wait here until we have him in the bath. I will get you then. You will be with him then until my apprentices arrive for him. You will rejoin him here after that, you will make him drink and care for him, be in constant contact with him until it is time for his next bath. While he will be swaddled from his shoulders down his arms will be wrapped in herbed cloths but outside the swaddling. It will take you a day or two to adjust to the routine but you must follow it. After his fourth bath the others may touch him and talk with him but he will need you to be with him, to reassure him, to let him know you do care."

Kirk looked again at the others then back down at his Vulcan friend. "Spock, its Jim. I'm right here and I am staying with you. We can talk later. You just rest."

"McCoy? Uhura?" there was weakness in the voice yet Kirk heard the concern and saw it in the dark eyes looking at him. Long fingers tried to grip his hand. Kirk knew then just how big a toll the gainine had taken on his friend.

"They are both here and safe. Sulu, Scotty, and Chekov are also here. They will talk with you later. You rest."

"My report. Lost?"

It was the furthest thing from Kirk's mind but knew his friend would think first of others then of his duty which, on this mission, had been to report what was needed. Somewhere in the rubble would be his report.

McCoy stepped forward and whispered, "Tell him Janet has taken care of it. She found and was somehow able to get his report out of his unit and Uhura sent it."

Still looking at Spock and seeing the conflict and uncertainty he had seen there before Kirk said, "Do not think about that, Spock, just rest. Janet found your report and Uhura sent it for you. Just rest."

"Tired."

"Just rest, Spock. I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here. Just rest." He saw the uncertainty and conflict still about Spock's eyes but also saw the slight nod Spock gave him before the dark eyes closed.

As he stood looking down at his friend his mind played back that scene on the bridge and Spock's message.. "You are nothing to me but an insubordinate subordinate officer…I am your superior officer. Now get the hell off my bridge and stay the hell out of my life." "your request that I stay out of your life showed me my action the only one I can make. I will not be rejoining the Enterprise." That look of blended conflict and uncertainty was because of him. He felt a coldness deep inside himself as he realized Spock could still die, that Spock could believe what he said to him on the bridge. After how he had been behaving, how he had been trying to be like Fallet just to see how different their methods of captaining a starship felt, Spock could have believed him. The rest of the crew would most likely understand the humanness of such an action but Spock would not have understood his actions for Spock was Vulcan and Vulcans were a people content with who they are, who did not pretend at being what they are not, and who respect order in life.

How could he have forgotten that? Spock was Vulcan. "As per your orders." He could have thought he had been given an order to rest. He had asked about the others and about his report. Had that nod had just been an acknowledgement of an order from a senior officer and not of acknowledging him as a friend? Kirk fought to control the anger he felt for allowing himself to be so influenced by Fallet to forget that.

The woman returned with two young women and two young men who carried Spock into another room. Uhura walked up to Kirk, "Sir, there is a private message for you that you can access on the terminal over there."

Kirk walked over to the terminal and read the message, slowly sitting down as he fought to control a fury building in him. Had the others not been there and had he not known how long it had taken Uhura to get the system up Kirk knew he most likely would have physically lashed out in rage and most likely have smashed the terminal into its component parts but he sat still doing, or more like attempting to do, the calming breathing Spock had taught him so long ago. He was physically controlling his fury that way while thinking of what he wanted to do to Fallet. No, thinking what he would do to Fallet.