Chapter Seventeen

I take a big gulp of my Cyrodiilic Brandy while sitting in the tavern of the Five Claws Lodge. I have mixed emotions about what I learned today. On one hand, I met the man I've admired my entire life. On the other hand, he's a damn vampire. Then I had to break it to him that his grandson died.

For the first time in years, I plan on drowning my thoughts. I put another gold coin down on the bar for another glass and empty that one as well. As my glass is getting refilled again, Mal sits down on the stool next to me, wearing plain cloth clothes, and orders some mead.

"Ugh, I hate mead," I say to him as he takes a long gulp. "It's too sweet."

"I used to think that too. My elder brother took me off to Skyrim after we were able to escape the sacked Imperial City. I was only three years-old, so I was basically raised around Nords. My Imperial tongue didn't agree with it, but it was the most accessible alcohol. It's best with juniper berries," he took another long gulp of the mead and finished up his bottle. He put more than enough gold on the counter and received another.

"That's how I know Jurgis and Ormvard," he said after a long sip.

"Because of mead with juniper berries?" I laughed

He joined me in my laugh and said, "No…and yes, actually. Ormvard is from the only town that makes it. It's destroyed now, but that's not the point. Jurgis took my brother and me in when he was younger than I am now. Yet, he raised us better than any real father could. He's been working with the…," Mal gave the Argonian barkeep a quick glance, "…organization… that we're in since I was around fifteen. We were traveling around to each of the holds looking for possible recruits and that's how we came across Ormvard…and his juniper berry mead."

"Where is Ormvard?" I ask, looking around. I need more to drink; my speech isn't slurred yet.

"He's upstairs with a nice lady he met in the market today."

"Nord?" I ask, knowing the Nordic tendency towards racism.

"Breton."

"Good for him," I smiled and lifted my glass. "To Ormvard and his Breton gal!"

"To Ormvard!" Mal played along and took a gulp of his mead.

I downed my next glass and placed a handful of coins on the counter. "Keep them coming," I told the Argonian.

"So how was meeting old Floramer?" Mal asked after taking another sip of his drink.

"I'm getting drunk. How do you think?"

"Alright then. We can talk about it later," he smiled at me. I glared at him and took a gulp of my brandy.

"Fine. You win. What do you want to know?" I sighed and took another sip.

"I want to know how you didn't know what your grandfather was involved in."

"For one thing, he's my great-grandfather, who I was told was dead. Turns out he's not. Turns out he's a vampire. That's fine, though. I have family that I thought I had lost. What truly bothers me isn't Ravenwood – it's the lies. My father lied to me. You and Jurgis and probably everyone else knew the truth, too, and no one told me. You didn't tell me!"

"Jurgis ordered everyone to stay quiet. He was worried that he would lose you if you knew what you were walking into once you got here. We need you to fight, Emi, and we need you with us. I- I need you." We sat in silence for a moment and drank.

"What am I even doing here?" I said suddenly. I turned my body towards him and slumped against the counter.

"You are drinking," he answered me with a smile and mimicked my body.

"No! What am I doing here? I'm not a soldier! I can't take orders…especially not from you!" I was starting to speak louder than I meant to. Another glass became empty.

Mal let out a chuckle and said, "I take it Jurgis has broken the news that you'll be taking orders from me once he heads back to Skyrim."

"Isn't it against the rules, anyways?" I asked, my speech finally starting to slur.

"What's against the rules?" Mal peered at me sideways and he took a gulp of his mead.

"To have feelings for your commanding officer?"

"Alright, Emi. I think it's time to get you to bed," Mal laughed again. He put a few gold coins on the bar and then put his arm around my waist to help me walk. With his assistance, I made it up the steps and into the room I was assigned.

He tries to tuck me in under the covers, but I keep kicking them off and trying to get up. Finally, I find my target and wrap my hand in his cloth shirt. I pull him into a deep kiss and can feel his hands going to my hips and grabbing on.

He catches me off guard by pulling away. "I tell you what: we can finish this discussion in the morning when you're no longer piss drunk. How does that sound?"

I shake my head 'no' and say, "I want you to stay here for the night."

He gives me another kiss full of longing, then pulls away again and simply says, "No." Then he pulls the covers up over me and leaves the room.

I sit up in the bed and try to clear my head of the alcohol. I let out a groan and rub my face with my hands as I realize how big a fool I made of myself. Instead of staying in bed, I get up and take off the leather armor I had been wearing for far too long. I begin to put on the silk nightgown I received from Alyssa, but throw it aside after remembering the kiss I shared with Danders in it.

I sit back in bed and pull the sheet up around me. I decide that I want to redo my braid so I undo the tie and run my fingers through my hair, trying to get all the knots out of it. Before I have the chance to do anything more with it, the door swings open. Letting the sheet fall, my hand instinctively went for my dagger, but it was in its sheath on the floor.

Standing in the door with wide eyes was Mal with a few bottles of mead in hand. He let them fall to the floor and one of them shattered on the hard wood.

"Gods be damned," he roughly whispered and walked to the bed to pull my nude body to his.