The captain smiled down at her newest crew member as Miral squirmed weakly and made sleepy whimpering noises. Not conscious enough to work up to a full cry, she relaxed into Kathryn Janeway's arms.
"She's wonderful, B'Elanna." Janeway placed a hand on her chief engineer's shoulder.
"Glad she passes inspection, Captain." B'Elanna closed her eyes as her commanding officer searched for a place to sit.
Finding the chair next to the biobed full of presents, Janeway shifted Miral more securely into the crook of her arm and, taking care not to jostle the infant, moved the piles of blankets and diapers to a nearby cart. Just as she was about to lower herself to the chair, she spotted the white worn terry cloth folded in the corner. She picked it up, sat and stared at it.
"Look Miral. Chakotay gave you his lucky towel."
Something in her tone made B'Elanna take notice of the way Janeway was touching the fabric. She was a bit surprised to see tears forming in her captain's eyes.
Janeway rose to lay Miral in her crib, discreetly wiping at her eyes before she turned back to the bio bed.
"Well. It's been a long hard day for all of us. I'll let you get some sleep, B'Elanna." She folded the towel carefully.
B'Elanna snorted. "I don't think I understand what possessed Chakotay to give us that old rag, Captain. I remember he used to hang it to dry over a leaky pipe in his quarters on the Liberty. It must have decades of filth embedded in the fibres."
"He seemed to think it would bring you luck."
"We received so many lovely blankets from the rest of the crew, especially the ones you made for us, Captain. He must be crazy to think I'd give that I'd give that to Miral."
Janeway was silent for a moment, still holding the towel. "B'Elanna... This is going to seem strange but... Could I hold on to this for Miral? I can give it to her when she's older. Maybe she'll find it funny when she's a teenager. In the meantime, I'll make sure she wants for nothing. Wherever you and Tom end up, I'll make sure she has everything she needs." Janeway shifted uncomfortably, her jaw clenching at the awkwardness of having to make such a request.
"Take it, Captain. I'd consider it a favour. If Chakotay asks I'll tell him it got lost in the move. I was considering 'losing it' anyway. And you're right, she'll probably think it's hilarious when she's older. It's a perfect thirteenth birthday present. 'Look what your crazy uncle Chakotay wanted to give you when you were a baby, Miral.'" Their laughter broke the tension and the captain bade B'Elanna sleep well and took her leave, Chakotay's towel tucked securely under her arm.
That evening, Janeway looked around her sparse quarters. Most of her belongings were packed away in the storage containers stacked against the bulkhead near the door. The hum of adrenaline through her body that had been consistent since the Admiral's arrival, still drove her mind to endless distraction. The towel lay on her lounge chair.
She had run through half a dozen scenarios in which she eliminated the towel from her life: From quietly returning it to B'Elanna as she slept, to throwing it out an airlock, introducing it to the business end of a phaser rifle or burning it in effigy. She would do none of this.
Instead, she picked up the towel and brought it to her bed. Stripping her uniform, she laid the towel over her pillow and ordered the lights out. Familiar stars lit her quarters and she imagined the towel retained some of Chakotay's scent. It was impossible, of course but she could almost detect that mix of tea and midsummer air that was so essentially him, that evoked images of dimples and candlelight that were so irrevocably resident in Chakotay's corner of her mind and so undeniably no longer a part of her life.
Seven years' worth of tears welled up inside Voyager's brave captain. Gratitude and sorrow and love all released in a flood and poured out onto Chakotay's towel. Kathryn Janeway slept little but woke weightless and ready to embark upon her next journey.