Chapter Eighteen
I roll over expecting to find Mal lying next to me but he has already left my bed. I couldn't help but feel a slight sting at his disappearing, but I knew he wanted to keep things quiet so I didn't expect any less. I begin getting ready by cleaning up with the water basin in the corner. I get dressed, layering my leathers on last. I braid my hair along the sides of my head and let it fall loose in the back.
I'm about to leave the room to head down for breakfast when the door opens on its own. Mal walks in and freezes when he sees me. He's wearing normal clothes with exception of his gauntlets, boots, and the sword strapped to his side. However, my jaw couldn't help but drop when I saw his freshly trimmed beard. I could see his defined jaw for the first time and he looked more attractive than I thought possible.
In response to my expression, he only shrugs and says, "This was the first time in a long while that I had a room with a mirror to myself."
"I like it," I say with a shy smile. I reach up and tug on the short hairs
He clears his throat and lifts his hands up. For the first time I notice the wooden plate with food on it. "I brought you breakfast. It's only fish and bread, but it's the best the Five Claws has to offer. And I picked up that broken bottle before I went down." I could see a little bit of blush going into his white Imperial cheeks.
"We could've eaten down with the rest if you'd prefer," I assured him with a soft smile.
"I wanted to surprise you. Besides, I thought we could spend a little bit more time together before we have to go back to life – before we have to go back to ignoring this," he looked down at the food.
"So you do want to keep pretending there's nothing going on," I confirmed, my heart sinking.
"If I'm ever going to be your commanding officer, then yes," he admitted.
I was angry. He was more worried about his rank than our...whatever it was. Admittedly, it was just a fling. My feelings were hurt nonetheless. I tried to push my way past him and out the door, but he threw the plate of food down on the dresser and grabbed my arm to get me to stop. When I tried to shake him loose, he only tightened his grip.
"Emi," he warned. I stopped struggling but I didn't turn around. He continued, "I didn't mean it like that. If I'm your commanding officer then I'll have control over what happens to you in this damned Rebellion. Even if I don't want to and I don't know why, but I care about you. I want you to be safe."
He pulls me close to him and gently lifts my chin so I would have to look at him. "Forgive me?" He asked and I replied with a slight nod. "Good," he smiled and then bent down and gave me a deep kiss.
I pulled back and jokingly chided him, "We don't have time for this Malpenix! We have war plans to make."
He closed the door with his boot and then pushed me against it, "I think they can wait a moment for us."
As if the gods were playing a cruel game with us, a heavy knock came through the door. Mal moaned quietly into my hair and it took everything in me not to laugh.
"Who is it," I squeaked.
"Frelene," the Nordic woman's deep voice came through the wood.
"I'm not decent yet," I smiled at Mal as I began to unbutton his shirt.
"You better damn well be getting decent. I want you down the stairs before I can say 'sweet roll'. You and I have been assigned to a special task today. Now move." Her footsteps echoed as she moved down the hall.
I buried my head into Mal's chest and murmured, "Do I have to?"
"I'm afraid you do, girl," he chuckled.
I pull myself out of his grasp and slide out the door with the bit of bread he brought me in hand. I come down the stairs to find Frelene in a cloth dress with her arms crossed.
"Took you long enough," she chided me.
"What do you mean? I came straight down!"
"Just keep up, elf. We have a bit to do today and I want to get it done." She turned and headed out of the inn's door, leaving me to follow.
Once we were outside in Leyawiin's humid air, I asked, "What is it that we're doing, exactly?"
"Trying to make you look like a decent High Elf," she said with a smirk.
"You're kidding? They're going to make me a spy?" I asked, my gut twisting with fear.
"The Council made it sound as if you'll only be attending a couple Thalmor events. Head Councilor Floramer was against it, but the others talked him into it. You shouldn't worry, you'll fit right in," she said with a sideways look at me as we walked. As always, I wasn't able to tell if her racist comment was serious or a joke, but her demeanor always made me nervous so I didn't bother asking. I followed her to a general store with a sign hanging that said 'Best Goods and Guarantees'. Inside was a little mix of everything and the best of nothing.
"Are you sure we'll be able to find something here? Don't Thalmor typically have…expensive tastes?" I asked carefully.
"Do you have any better suggestions?" She snapped at me. Mal was right. She definitely was pregnant. "Besides," she continued, "we already have a Breton lined up to get you in."
"Okay…" I began to look through the plain dresses and pulled out a light blue one, "How about this one?"
Frelene walked over and rubbed the fabric between her fingers. "Poor quality. And that color would be horrible on you." She began rummaging through the same pile I pulled the blue dress from. Finally, she pulls out a silk green dress and says, "This is it! It will bring out your eyes."
It took everything in me not to roll my eyes as she held the lace and silk up to me. I never imagined a warrior to have such a feminine side. I begrudgingly purchased the dress, wondering why the Council wasn't picking up the tab, and then went back to the Five Claws. As I walked away, Frelene warned me that I needed to be at "the place" for dinner. I lifted my hand in understanding and kept walking.
I ordered an apple and some weak wine from the Argonian barkeep and then went up the stairs to put my frilly new dress away. I walk into my room and immediately draw my dagger. It takes me a moment to catch my breath and put my weapon away.
"Did I startle you?" Mal laughed. I could see where his smile was lifting up the sides of his freshly shaved beard. He sat on the edge of the bed looking slightly awkward.
"Damn it! Have you been here all day?"
"Of course not. I had a meeting with Jurgis and the Council earlier, but you'll hear about all of that at dinner. The bigger question is what the name of Akatosh do you have in your hands?" He asked, gesturing at the shiny green bundle.
I threw the dress at him and watched as he let it fall open in his hands. A wicked grin spread across his face and he stood up to begin walking towards me. I close the door behind me and let him corner me against it.
"Now this is something, Emi. Please, for the sake of my sanity, let me see you in this." He began to hold it up to my body and my armor showed awkwardly behind it.
"Not a chance, Nord," I said as I took the dress out of his hands and threw it onto the dresser. "They'll be lucky if they get me into it for its intended purpose."
His black eyebrows pushed together above his dark eyes as he asked, "What'll that be?"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll hear about it all over dinner," I smiled at him mockingly. "But for now, I believe we better head downstairs. I haven't even gotten to speak to Ormvard today."
"How about tonight? After the meeting? Can we have one more night pretending we're not mixed up in all of this? One more night before we begin the charade of me giving you orders and you pretending to take them?" He asked as he rubbed his large hands up and down my arms.
"We'll see tonight," I teased and then ducked out from under his arms and away from his kiss.
We found Ormvard at the upstairs table in the Council's base. He was chewing on some sort of meat and cheese but still managed a food filled smile at us. We joined him at the table and jested with him awhile about his crazy night with a Breton woman. Moments like this I realize how much I cared for the men in my group. Not only did I have unexpected feelings for Mal, but Ormvard felt more like my brother than Syndus ever had.