Hey Secret Romance fans, my friend and faithful reader Christlove88 approached me about writing an extension for chapter 15 and a bit of an alternate ending. I gave her the go ahead and she wrote them, I looked them over and she's ready to the post them! She's posted them this afternoon under her account so I urge all Secret Romance fans to go read as soon as soon as you read tonight's chapter of course!
Ch. 4 Are You Waiting, Are You Wishing
(OWEN)
"Arrested?! What do you mean he's been arrested?!" Clare exclaims frantically, Lucas puts an arm around her as she begins to shake a little.
"He was really drunk; he went to your house and threw a potted plant through your mom's kitchen window. He was yelling and tried to fight with Jake before passing out. I don't know everything, Bianca said he's facing a bunch of charges including vandalism and drunk and disorderly. Audra and Omar are doing what they can to keep him out of juvie," I tell her as Lucas' mom comes out from the kitchen.
"Juvie? He's going to juvie?!" She whispers in a distressed voice and turns a little green. "I don't feel so good," Clare says after a few seconds and then she drops like a dead weight as she suddenly goes unconscious!
"Shit!" I utter as Lucas and I both reach for her.
Lucas already has an arm around her and he picks her up before she hits the ground.
"Should we call 911, take her to the hospital?" Lucas asks his mom in a panicked voice.
"No she's waking up already, pregnant women faint all the time especially during their first trimester. There's a lot going on in her body, she's making an entire life in there and you add stress to that it gets to be too much," Lucas' mom says as Clare opens her eyes and grips Lucas' shirt reorienting herself back into consciousness. "Lucas why don't you lay her down on the sofa and I'll get her some water," Lucas' mom tells him and then walks back to the kitchen.
Lucas puts Clare on the sofa and she lets go of him, Lucas' mom brings her some water and I help Clare sit up a little.
"Thanks Evelyn," Clare smiles handing her back the water after taking a few sips.
"No problem Honey, how do you feel?" Evelyn asks her.
"A little dizzy, kind of weak," Clare replies sitting up a little more.
"Why don't you rest on the sofa for a while, we'll have the rest of dinner in the living room, would you like to join us Owen we have plenty?" Evelyn offers.
"Uh yeah thanks that would be good," I reply not wanting to leave Clare after watching her suddenly pass out.
Lucas goes into the kitchen and comes back with two half-eaten plates and hands one to Clare, he sits on one end of the sofa with the other plate in his lap. Clare moves so that she's sitting up and there's room for me to sit on the sofa between them. Evelyn comes out with a plate for me and her plate and she sits in the arm chair. Lucas turns on the TV and we watch while eating, Clare doesn't pass out again while I'm there but she doesn't eat much more either.
"If you guys don't mind I think I'm just going to go to bed," Clare says after nibbling at her plate for half an hour, eating the equivalent of about six bites and then setting her plate down.
"Of course Clare probably a good idea," Evelyn smiles.
"Are you okay, can you make it up the stairs?" I question.
"Yeah I can make it up the stairs; I think I'm okay now. Owen when you find out about Drew will you…"
"I'll tell you as soon as I know I promise," I assure her and she smiles.
"Thanks, goodnight everyone," Clare says standing up.
Lucas and I are ready to catch her but she doesn't fall and we watch as she makes it up the stairs on her own.
"I should probably get home, thanks for dinner Evelyn," I say getting up with my plate.
"Of course Owen, you're welcome over any time," Evelyn says as I put my plate in the sink.
"Thanks, will you call me if anything else happens with her tonight?" I request.
"Yeah of course," Lucas nods.
I tell them thanks and leave the house; I drive home and greet my family. Going into my room I close the door and start doing homework. I'm up late that night, both worried about Clare and waiting about news on Drew. I don't hear from Lucas or anyone else that night and fall asleep still in my clothes.
"Owen we have to leave for school," Tris calls banging on my door the next morning.
My eyes shoot open and I look at my phone, "Fuck!"
We have to be at school in half an hour, I jump up and get dressed as fast as can, quickly fix my hair, stuff my homework in my backpack, grab my brother and drive us both to school. We walk to the steps and Tris goes to his friends, I walk in to find Clare but find Dallas first.
"Hey any word on Drew?" I question.
"Yeah he's being sent to a camp near Fort Frances called Horizon or something like that, his flight is early tomorrow morning. It'll keep him out of juvie, Clare's mom wanted to press all kinds of charges. It's like a camp for bad kids; they go hiking and stuff even in the snow, go to therapy and volunteer at homeless shelters and stuff. It's a school too so he won't fall behind. He'll be back in eight weeks. Adam stayed home to help Drew pack and stuff," Dallas tells me.
"You seen Clare? I promised to tell her as soon as I found out," I comment.
"Haven't seen Clare, surprised you two care considering that you two are going out," Dallas remarks.
"He dumped her and you don't know shit, I gotta go find Clare," I say and walk off.
When I don't see Clare by her locker, with K.C. or any of her other friends, or in the memorial garden I send her a text.
Owen: Where are you?
Clare: Bleachers.
There's about six sets of bleachers at the school but I'm guessing she means the football bleachers where we ate lunch. I head out of school as the bell rings but I don't care about missing class, especially if Clare's missing class.
"What are you doing out here?" I ask sitting next to her.
"Didn't want to go to class, didn't want to see Drew or Adam in the hall and I have my first class with Adam. Is Drew going to juvie?" She asks quickly.
"They aren't here, Drew's getting sent to a camp, school thing near Fort Frances it's for troubled teens or something but it will keep him out of juvie. Adam stayed home to help him pack since he leaves tomorrow," I inform her.
"Great he's being sent a thousand miles away; you can stop pretending to date me now there's no point Drew won't see it. He's not going to get jealous he's been sent away," Clare laments standing up from the bleachers quickly.
"Clare," I say catching her hand and gently pulling her back down, "I thought the plan was to con everyone. Anyway Drew's only going to be there eight weeks not forever and I'm sure at least Adam will be writing to him. Maybe this is what Drew needs, he's been super angry recently because he can't deal with the fact that you're pregnant so maybe this will help."
"This whole thing is just a mess, my life, Drew's life, your life, Adam's and everyone else around us all our lives have been entirely screwed up. I can still have an abortion, maybe it won't be so bad if Drew doesn't come back to a problem," Clare says near tears putting her head in her hands.
"Is that what you want? Do you want an abortion?" I ask her putting a hand on her back.
She bites her bottom lip, some tears slipping from her eyes as she looks up at me again. "No but I don't know what else to do," she says as she starts sobbing. "I think it would be worse to give the baby up but I can't raise it on my own. What am I supposed to do Owen?"
"Clare you're not on your own even if Drew never steps up. You have me and Bianca, Lucas, Evelyn and I'm sure Adam and his family when you decide to tell them," I remind her and she nods. "You can get through this Clare, you're not alone. You just tell us what you need and what you want," I tell her.
"I want Drew, I need him," she says and cries harder putting her head in my lap.
I just rub her back and let her cry, at least until the bell rings and then I sit her up. "Come on we should probably show up for parenting class," I tell her as she wipes her eyes and rubs her head. "Are you okay?" I question.
"Not at all," she replies.
"I mean are you in pain or dizzy or something, you're rubbing your head?"
"It hurts, from crying I guess," she responds as she stands and then falters.
"Did you eat this morning?" I question grabbing her waist to keep her from falling on the bleachers.
"Evelyn forced me to eat an apple but I threw it up again," she says.
"Ok you get inside I don't think it's good for you to be out in the cold so long. I'll meet you in class with something to eat," I tell her.
"Okay thanks Owen," she says kissing my cheek.
I smile and stand up, helping her down the bleachers, we walk inside together and then she heads for her locker and I head for the caf. Not sure how much she'll actually be able to eat I get her a ginger ale and a granola bar. The bell rings as I start heading for our parenting class. I can hear Clare talking to someone as I approach but can't quite make out what they're saying until I'm close to the door and then I hear Jake.
"That boyfriend of yours is nuts! I always knew Drew had problems but showing up drunk! You always pick the crazies Clare," Jake says in a scolding tone, it's not exactly older brother concern more like condescension.
"What does that say about you? I dated you too!" She snaps back at him.
"Okay sometimes you have good taste," he snickers as I enter the room but he has his back to me so he doesn't see me, "but now Owen! What the hell is going on Clare?"
"What do you care Jake? My mom disowned me I'm not your stepsister anymore so it doesn't really matter who I date does it?" She responds in a sharp tone and gets up from her desk to walk to me.
Jake grabs her arm pulling her back but still hasn't turned around to look at me, "He vandalized the house and showed up drunk!" Jake growls at her while squeezing her arm.
I set down Clare's food, step around putting my hand on Jake's chest, shoving him into the desk he's sitting on which forces him to let go of Clare.
"Do not touch her!" I warn him in a calm but harsh tone while lightly crushing his chest with my arm.
"Owen he didn't hurt me let him go," Clare says putting her hand on my arm.
"Drew's parents are dealing with Drew and Clare is no longer your concern just stay the hell away from her! You don't know shit Jake," I bark at him taking my arm off his chest and gripping him by the shirt to get him up. I shove him away and he takes off through the doorway.
"Are you okay?" I ask her.
"I'm fine, he wasn't squeezing my arm, Jake isn't violent," she says.
"Come on you sit with me and Luke today," I tell her taking her food back to my table.
"You're really enjoying this f…" she starts to say fake boyfriend but Becky and Luke come in the room, "boyfriend thing aren't you?" She asks as she follows me back to my table.
"I saw you pass out last night I'm keeping a close eye on you," I reply as she sits down.
"Clare you passed out? Why'd you pass out? Adam told me about Drew? Why do you think he's so angry all of a sudden? Getting drunk and vandalizing your house, that's not like Drew," Becky says in basically one breath.
"It's not my house anymore Becky," Clare replies opening her ginger ale.
"So why'd you pass out?" Luke questions sitting at his usual spot next to me.
"I uh, haven't been feeling well," she responds slowly taking a small bite of her granola bar.
She drinks about half the ginger ale and nibbles about three bites of the bar before class starts and she has to trash the rest. Lunch is next and after that we have a spare period so I'll take her to the Dot and make sure she eats.
(ADAM)
"You're lucky you're not in juvie Drew, Helen wants your head on a stick she was yelling at Mom on the phone for almost an hour last night while Dad was picking you up from jail," I tell my brother after he finishes packing his suitcase and flops on his bed.
"Clare's mom is a bitch," Drew grumbles holding his head because he still has a hangover.
"Yeah I know," I reply getting up and going to the medicine cabinet to get Drew more aspirin, "that doesn't excuse what you did though," I remark giving him two aspirin.
"Yeah well I forgot that she moved in with Lucas and I never liked her mom," Drew responds swallowing the pills without water.
"Clare moved in with Lucas? Who the hell is Lucas?" I question.
"He dropped her off the other day, she says he's just an old friend," Drew replies through clenched teeth.
"If you're so jealous maybe you should call her," I suggest.
"No, I can't call her Adam," he sighs getting sort of sad, almost ashamed and then angry again. "Could you just leave me alone please Adam? I gotta be up at 3 am to get to the airport and I'm sure Mom's going to yell at me the whole way there," Drew sighs falling back onto his pillow.
"Yeah okay," I sigh getting up and reluctantly leaving my brother's room.
I have a million more questions for Drew but I know he's not going to answer them today, or possibly ever. I go into my room and try calling Clare, it's after six she should be home but she doesn't answer. She might be afraid it's Drew or more likely, knowing Clare the way I do, she's afraid I hate her because Drew is being sent away. I don't leave a message because I know I'll see her at school tomorrow. Dallas stays out after practice; Drew is on lockdown until he leaves early in the morning so he eats in his room. Mom and dad eat in their room and they're so pissed I'm not sure I want to eat with them anyway. I'm not on lockdown so I call Eli.
"Hey have you eaten yet?" I ask when he picks up.
"Yeah like an hour ago, is your mom so caught up with Drew she forgot to cook?" Eli questions.
"No she ordered food but everyone's eating in their rooms and I've been here all day, I feel like I need to get out of here," I tell him.
"I'll come get you, we could go to Little Miss Steaks or something, I could use some dessert," Eli offers.
"Thanks I'll be waiting outside," I tell him.
I put on my shoes and text my dad that I'm going out with Eli for a couple of hours. Then I wait for Eli on our front step, he pulls up a couple of minutes later. K.C. is working when we arrive at Little Miss Steaks and he seats us in a booth.
"Was Clare at school?" I ask him after K.C. gets our drink order.
"Yeah I saw her but didn't talk to her, Owen was around her all the time," Eli replies.
"They're dating and you were around her all the time even before you were dating," I remind him.
Marisol comes to take our order so Eli waits to reply. "Yeah but he was especially hovering, like he was worried about her or something. I did hear that she was arguing with Jake that morning. Did Drew really break a window at her house?" Eli asks me.
"Yeah, he threw a planter through the kitchen window but it's not Clare's house anymore she moved out," I inform Eli.
"Moved out? Moved out to where?" Eli inquires just as Marisol brings our drinks.
"She's living with some guy named Lucas according to Drew," I enlighten him.
"Who the hell is Lucas?" Eli queries.
"No idea, we can ask her tomorrow," I say.
We get off the subject of Clare and my brother and spend the rest of the time talking about Eli's play, and the band Mo is putting together that I'm thinking of trying out for. Eli takes me home at eight and after I shower I go to bed, setting an alarm for 3 am so I can say goodbye to Drew before he goes to the airport. I don't get much sleep, my mind in turmoil because I know two of the three closest people to me are keeping something from me. Something that tore them apart, is eating Drew from the inside and made Clare rebound with Owen, and possibly got her kicked out. When my alarm goes off I don't want to get up but I'm not going to see my brother for two months so I get up to say goodbye.
"Whatever it is Drew it'll get better," I tell him.
"Yeah I wish it would Adam, be good, see you in a couple months. Hey if anyone gives you any trouble tell Dallas he'll take care of it," Drew says.
We hug goodbye and then Drew hugs Dad, Mom tells him to grab their stuff and they go downstairs.
"I'm going to head into the office but you can get a few more hours of sleep," Dad says.
"Yeah I'll try," I respond and go back in my room.
I hear Dad leave and I do get back to sleep for a couple of hours. I wake up at the normal time when my alarm goes off and I groan. Dragging myself to the closet I get dressed, putting on my compression vest before my under shirt and t-shirt of course. Then my hoodie and my jacket, shoes and grab my backpack. Dallas is at the table eating breakfast, I'm allowed to drive Drew's car while he's away so I drive us to school. Dallas sees Bianca and runs over to greet her, I'm walking to the entrance when I see a car pulling up with Clare in the passenger seat and I really look at the driver knowing this must be Lucas. Clare kisses his cheek and gets out of the car so I wait for her, she isn't quite meeting my eyes and she bites her lip nervously as she approaches me.
"So that must be Lucas," I comment falling into step at her side as she starts walking up the steps.
"Yeah that's Lucas," she responds.
"Why didn't you tell me you moved out?" I question.
"I didn't move out I was kicked out," she tells me.
"Why were you kicked out? Clare what is going on?" I inquire catching her jacket sleeve and stopping her from walking.
"Nothing Adam," she snaps at me.
"Clare you can't tell me nothing, Drew broke up with you, you got kicked out, you're living with some guy I've never heard of before," I exclaim.
"Lucas dated Mia, you know the girl that moved to Paris to become a model? He's Jane's older brother, she dated Spinner, I know I've told you about Spinner," she says.
"Okay so why are you living with him? Why'd you get kicked out? Why won't you or Drew tell me what's going on?" I inquire in a frustrated tone because I'm tired of getting lied to.
"I can't tell you Adam," is her only reply.
"Why not?"
"I just can't Adam, please just let it go," she asserts.
"I don't get it; you and Drew are two of the closest people to me and neither of you will tell me what's going on! You two broke up and you're dating Owen but you and Drew still want each other," I lament in aggravation.
"Drew doesn't want me anymore," she shakes her head.
"Yeah he does, I know he broke up with you but every time he talks about you, he sounds sorry or ashamed. Angry too but behind the angry he's always sorry or ashamed. I don't know why you two broke up and I don't know why you won't tell me. You got kicked out and he got shipped off and no one will tell me what's going on and you both look miserable! I'll see you in class," I tell her giving up on the conversation as I see Owen coming and start walking away.
"Adam wait," she calls after me running over and catching my hand. "I can't tell you what's going on right now because…" she pauses with a heavy sigh, "I just can't okay but I will tell you when I can. Just not while Drew's gone, it's…complicated Adam. I'm sorry but that's all I can say right now. Is Drew…did he…" she stumbles over her words and I give in.
"Drew is okay, he's won't go to juvie and the camp might do him some good," I assure her.
"Everything okay?" Owen inquires coming over and putting an arm around Clare's shoulders.
"Yeah, see you in class Clare," I tell her and walk off to my locker.
(CLARE)
Wiping my hand over the fogged mirror to clear it I look at the reflection in it and frown at the girl staring back. I've got dark circles under my eyes and I'm slightly pale. It's been two weeks since Drew went to the troubled teens camp and I haven't heard anything from him. Adam's been giving me updates when he gets them, Owen and I are keeping up the fake relationship well, we have the whole school fooled, Adam and everyone else. Not that we do that much, he walks the halls with his arms around me, we almost always eat lunch alone on the football bleachers, I've had one other dinner at his house but he does hang out with me at Lucas' place a lot. Although I think it's more because he's worried about me, that I'm eating and making sure I won't pass out. We've kissed all of three times and always in front of Adam or Dallas who will tell Drew. Aside from that he's just been a really great friend, he even set up a prenatal appointment for me, I don't have it for another week.
Today I am seven weeks pregnant, seven weeks of having another life inside me. I wish I could say I was happy and glowing, thinking about the future and all the cute baby clothes we'd be getting, all the things we'd get to experience, like babies first smile, first laugh, first word, the first look when they open their eyes and look into yours. Only I wasn't looking forward to any of this. I wasn't even looking forward to being a mom, not without Drew. I wasn't alone, I had Owen, Bianca, Lucas, Evelyn and even Adam although he had no idea what was going on. I had Eli too but he was just as clueless and he'd been keeping his space recently, he was busy with the play of course but I think it was partly all the time I was spending with Owen.
"Clare, they'll be here in half an hour," Lucas calls through the door with a slightly nervous but excited voice.
"I'll be ready soon," I call back.
The reason he sounds nervous and excited is because our visitors this morning are Mia and Izzy. They were only in Toronto for the weekend, Mia was doing a shoot in New York and they were making a stop in Toronto for the weekend to see Lucas, Evelyn and me. I was excited to see Mia and it would be nice to speak with her about being pregnant and getting through it without a dad and just your friends. I dry my hair and go to my room to get dressed. It's January, snowing and around minus 20 so I can't just throw on a dress which is what I'd like to do. Instead I opt for dark purple jeans, wondering how much longer I'll be able to wear jeans as I slip them on. A long sleeve white shirt and a black sweater, then I brush my hair and I'm done I don't even want makeup on. I go downstairs just as the doorbell rings, Lucas opens it and Izzy comes in, Lucas picks her up and hugs her tightly.
"Hi Clare," Mia smiles embracing me as I reach the bottom step, I hug her back and look at Izzy, reminding myself that I can do this.
"Hey Mia, it's good to see you," I say and she looks at Lucas they sort of smile but don't embrace and then Evelyn comes out of the kitchen.
"Izzy do you remember Clare?" Mia asks.
Izzy looks at me, gets shy and kind of nods before looking at her grandma and then hugs Evelyn. "Grandma!" Izzy cries happily.
Evelyn greets them both and we go into the kitchen to have breakfast. Mia talks about Paris and her work, then Izzy talks about school and Lucas talks about work and going to the police academy. Izzy finishes her breakfast and asks to go watch cartoons in the living room and Lucas excuses her.
"How have you been feeling Clare?" Mia asks.
"Alright I guess, been having lost of morning sickness," I reply.
"I had terrible morning sickness too; it'll pass in a couple of months probably. All I ate was ginger ale and soda crackers for the first two months," Mia tells me.
"Yeah that's about all she eats too," Lucas nods.
"Did you set up your first prenatal?" Mia questions.
"Yeah it's next week, Owen's coming with me," I reply.
"I thought the dad wasn't involved?" Mia inquires.
"He's not; Drew…isn't even here right now. Owen is my boyfriend, my boyfriend now I mean, he asked me out after Drew dumped me," I say.
Mia smiles and we finish breakfast, after breakfast we go down to the harbor. Izzy wants to play in the snow and the ice skating rink is still up. While Lucas is playing with Izzy Mia and I sit and sip hot chocolate while watching them.
"Owen's not really your boyfriend is he?" Mia asks.
"No, he is a really good friend though and the whole fake dating thing was his idea to make Drew jealous," I confess.
"Was it working?" Mia queries.
"I don't know, Drew got real angry and then threw a potted plant through my mom's kitchen window and now he's out by Fort Frances. Owen says it was working and Adam seems to think Drew was jealous," I reply.
"And if it doesn't work? What's Owen going to do then?" Mia inquires.
"I don't know honestly, he says he'll be around no matter what but he's not ready to be a dad," I respond.
"I'd like to meet him; maybe he can come out tonight? Evelyn could watch Izzy and you, me; Lucas and Owen could go out and maybe we can ask Owen together. Stepping up is great but only if he's in all the way and if he's not he has to have a time to step out because Drew might not get jealous or realize what he wants and comes back," Mia advises.
"Yeah, I'll text Owen and see if he can meet us tonight," I tell her.
Clare: Can you come out tonight?
Owen: Sure when and where?
"Owen said he can meet us just needs to know when and where," I inform Mia.
"Good, tell him you'll get back to him and I'll talk to Lucas about it," Mia replies getting up to go talk to Lucas.
I send the text to Owen and he replies with cool. Honestly I'm a little afraid of how tonight's going to go.
Update next Tuesday starting with Lucas, Owen, Mia and Clare's night out and including Clare's prenatal appointment and maybe a little Drew.