Tonight's episode was so frustrating and next week just…ugh! Stupid writers! Anyway I hope you enjoy tonight's chapter.
Ch. 6 I just Want to be with Him
(OWEN)
"Everything's all set for Clare's party on Saturday, your father and I will stay out late but you're in charge. That means no alcohol, you clean up and you look out for your brother and the younger kids," Mom tells me over breakfast on Thursday morning.
"I know ma, it'll be a small party anyway," I tell her, "And Clare can't drink right now," I add silently. "Tris let's go we're going to be late," I call to my brother.
"What's the hurry? School doesn't start for 45 minutes," Tris gripes coming out with his backpack.
"Yeah but it's Clare's birthday today and I want to stop to get her flowers on the way," I tell him and Mom smiles at me.
"Wish Clare happy birthday and have a good day kids," Mom says as we leave.
I make a quick stop at the flower shop on the way to school, since everyone thinks we're dating and only Bianca and Lucas know it's a con, I get seventeen roses since Clare is turning seventeen today. Eight red, eight white and one pink rose, I don't get a card though because I don't know what to say. The lady wraps them for me the way I ask her too and I drive to school. Tris goes off to find his friends and I go to Clare's locker where I find Adam decorating with streamers and a birthday banner.
"Here, add this," I tell him handing him the pink rose.
"Nice," Adam grins taking the rose and taping it to the center.
"You heard from Drew?" I ask him.
"I find it funny that you're so curious about my brother given that you started dating Clare a day after they broke up," Adam comments as he finishes decorating her locker.
"Hey Drew's still my friend," I respond and Adam gives me a look. "He is, I just have a crush on Clare and asked her out." I lie, gotta keep up the act.
"He called last night; he told me to wish Clare a happy birthday and then told me not to. He's still pretty mixed up but he's not so angry, least I don't think so. He did say he tried to call her but chickened out and hung up," Adam informs me as he stuffs the leftover decorations in his locker.
"Well that's a good sign, he's been there a month now I hope it's working," I muse in my mind as Adam closes his locker. "I think I'll put the white one's on her desk in homeroom and give her the red one's when she gets here," I tell Adam.
"Good plan, need me to show you which desk is hers?" He asks me and I nod.
Adam has homeroom with her and he shows me which one is her desk so I put the flowers on it. Then we both go out front and wait on the steps for Lucas to drop her off. They pull up a few minutes later, she smiles when she sees us and hugs Lucas goodbye. I wave to him as he drives off and she walks over to us.
"Happy birthday Clare," Adam says hugging her.
"Thanks Adam," she grins and then looks at me or at least the flowers in my arms.
"Happy birthday Babe," I say handing her the flowers and she twists her mouth at me for calling her babe. She takes the flowers, hugs me with one arm and I give her a quick kiss since people are watching. She says thanks, I put my arm around her and we walk inside headed for her locker. "So Bianca's coming to the game tomorrow night and I thought you might want to go with her and watch me play. Assuming I get some ice time," I remark.
"Of course I'll come" she replies as we round the corner and her locker comes into view. "Thanks Adam," she says kissing his cheek for the decorations. "And you too," she gives me an actual kiss since people are watching again.
I take her flowers back so she can open her locker and she starts getting out books. "Did you eat this morning? You look kind of pale," I remark looking her over carefully and when I say it Adam starts looking her over too.
"I ate, Evelyn made me oatmeal, I'm just tired this morning," she says. When she has her books I take her backpack for her and give her the flowers back. We start walking for the memorial garden when Clare suddenly goes a little green. "I have to use the washroom," she says suddenly handing me her flowers.
"She looked kind of sick," Adam comments as Clare rushes off for the washroom.
"Must be the oatmeal," I reply because I don't know what else to tell him.
Clare rejoins us a few minutes later, she doesn't look green anymore but she still looks pale. I put my arm around her and she takes back her flowers, we walk to the memorial garden, Clare sits between me and Adam, kicking her feet off the bench and looking at her shoes. I tell her that everything is set for her party on Saturday and she smiles. When the bells about to ring I walk with them to their writers craft class.
"More flowers?" Clare grins, she pulls me down to kiss me again, because it's the thing to do but hey I'm not complaining. "Thanks Owen, now how am I going to carry all these?" She laughs.
"I'm sure we can get some ribbon and tie them all together, then I can attach them to the front of your backpack," Adam tells her and she smiles.
She grins and I leave her at class telling her I'll see her in parenting next period. My homeroom is exercise science which I have with Dallas who starts telling me about his hot study date with Bianca last night. When the bell rings at the end of class I walk to parenting and find Clare and Adam already there. This week is all about teen pregnancy and it's been hard on Clare all week but I've made sure she also works with me all week. At least class isn't so bad today and Becky keeps saying I'm a great boyfriend for getting Clare all the roses. I eat lunch with Clare and Adam, after lunch we all have a spare so we stay at the Dot, when Clare goes to the washroom Adam looks at me.
"I feel kind of weird telling you this seeing as you're dating her now but I found the birthday present Drew bought for Clare. He bought it the same day they broke up and I don't know whether I should give it to her or not," Adam tells me.
"Well what did he get her?" I inquire.
"A ring, not an engagement ring or anything, it was supposed to replace her chastity ring. It's like a promise ring I guess, it's white gold with two hearts in the center, one with her birthstone, one with his and on the inside he had it engraved," Adam informs me.
"I think you should wait and not say anything," I tell him. What I don't tell him is that I'm hoping Drew comes back and gives it to her himself.
(CLARE)
"Never been to a hockey game before," I tell Bianca as we find our seats at tonight's game.
"They're more violent and faster paced than a football game," she tells me.
Owen had dinner at Lucas' house last night to celebrate my birthday. He's been really great for all of this and I don't know what I'd do without him. I'd been feeling relatively good today but I hadn't eaten much so Bianca made me get popcorn and a soda before we sat down. I see Maya and Tris sitting a few rows away and wave to them. While waiting for the game to start Bianca fills the silence by telling me about the first time she met Owen and Fitz. Then music starts and the teams skate out, we wave to Cam, Luke, Dallas and of course Owen. After the opposing team skates out the national anthem plays with some boy from U of T singing, and then the game starts. Owen doesn't play at all the first period but he does play for all of second period, because coach pulled Luke out after he was in the penalty box for fighting. The Ice Hounds wind 7-4, the team starts celebrating on the ice while Bianca and I, and all the Ice Hound fans cheer and clap.
"The guys are going out and we're invited as we're dating two of the team," Bianca tells me as we start making our way out of the arena.
"But Owen and I aren't really dating," I remind her in a whisper.
"Yes but the team doesn't know that and Drew's been calling every other night and Dallas says he always asks about you. So the more Dallas and Adam have to tell him about you and Owen, the more jealous Drew will get. Anyway I drove you and I say you're coming with me," Bianca says linking her arm through mine and I smile.
We walk out to her car and she drives us to Little Miss Steaks, we sit at the bar while waiting for the team. Bianca gets a root beer float and I get a milk shake, Owen and Dallas are the first two through the door. Dallas and Bianca give each other a kiss hello but they don't break apart so it's really more like making out. No one else is here yet so I don't kiss Owen, he helps me off the stool and we go to the back of the restaurant, I sit on the bench and Owen starts pushing tables together. Eventually Bianca and Dallas join us and within a few minutes the rest of the team comes in. Dallas orders pizzas and sodas, a few puck bunnies filter in to sit and flirt with the team. Owen tries to get me to eat a piece of pizza but I'm not hungry since the milkshake filled me up. I get up and go to the washroom while Owen's still eating and when I return to the table there's a puck bunny in my seat flirting with Luke.
"You're in my seat," I speak up but she ignores me.
"Just sit in your boyfriends lap Clare," Dallas says with a grin.
I bite my lip and look at Owen nervously, he just smiles scooting his chair back so I can sit down. I gingerly perch in his lap leaning back against his chest while he finishes his pizza, everyone is talking loudly and there are about seven different conversations happening, I can't really make out any of them and I'm not really interested anyway. Soon I find that really quite fatigued and I lay my head on Owen's shoulder.
"You okay?" Owen asks in a low voice.
"Fine, just really tired," I reply.
"Come on I'll take you home," he says pushing on my lower back gently to indicate that I should get off his lap but I shake my head.
"No I don't want to ruin your celebration, I can take a cab," I tell him.
"Yeah like that's going to happen," he says softly and then I feel him lift his head a little to speak to the rest of the table. "Hey I have to get Clare home, see some of you tomorrow," Owen tells them and when I don't move off his lap he simply stands while holding me in his arms. I gasp throwing my arms around his neck at the swift movement.
He sets me down after taking a couple steps from the table; I feel suddenly extremely dizzy and grip his jacket. He holds me and keeps me from falling, the dizzy sensation passes after a minute but I keep hold of his jacket to walk out to his car and he keeps his arm around me. I get out to his car just fine but he doesn't let go of me until I'm in the passenger seat. He starts driving and I drift off to sleep, I don't wake up until I feel him lifting me up again.
"You don't have to carry me," I tell him.
"It's fine you're tired and anyway my walkway is slippery with all the ice," Owen says.
"You're walkway?" I question opening my eyes.
"You look kind of pale and I know Lucas is working tonight so I'm keeping you here tonight, you would have been over for the party tomorrow night anyway," Owen remarks as he manages to hold me and unlock his door at the same time.
He sets me down once we're inside, Tris and Maya are watching TV in the living room and I smile at them as Owen locks his front door.
"He didn't want me slipping on the ice," I explain since they're giving me a look because he carried me in.
"Aww," Maya says as Owen puts a hand on my shoulder and starts walking me back to his room.
"Are you sure it's okay with your parents if I stay the night?" I ask when we get into his room.
"Yeah," he grins, "they won't mind at all. You can call Lucas in the morning and have him bring you clothes for the party. You want one of my shirts to sleep in?"
"Uh yeah thanks," I nod.
Owen goes to his dresser and pulls out a dark blue t-shirt handing it to me. I change in the washroom and use some mouthwash since I can't brush my teeth.
"You take my bed, I'll sleep on the floor," Owen says unrolling a sleeping bag over a twin size futon on the floor by his bed.
"No I'm not taking your bed the sofa is fine, or I'll sleep on the floor," I argue.
"No you'll take my bed, for one thing, you're pregnant, for another you're the guest and I dragged you hear 'cause I didn't want you at Lucas' place since he's working tonight. The floor is fine and my family thinks we're dating remember? They expect us to sleep in the same room. I'm going to brush my teeth be right back," Owen tells me leaving his room for the washroom.
I decide that arguing with him is fruitless and if I try to just go to sleep on the floor he'll likely just pick me up and put me in his bed. So I give up and lay down in his bed, his bed is permeated with his scent, which smells a lot like Drew since they both use the same deodorant and it's very comforting. His sheets are cool, the blankets warm and I fall asleep before Owen comes back from the washroom. I wake up the next morning to the smell of vanilla and cinnamon, Owen's mom must be making waffles or pancakes. I'm surprisingly hungry; I haven't been hungry first thing in the morning in over two months. Owen smells it too as he sits up and grins at me, his short hair only slightly mussed from sleeping while I'm sure my curls are disaster.
"Morning," I yawn.
"Morning," he grins standing up and I see that he's wearing nothing but boxers. Owen is very buff and sculpted; I can't help but bite my lip and then thinking of Drew I look away. "I'll get dressed in the washroom and let you change, smells like Mom has breakfast so just go out to the kitchen when you're ready," he says grabbing some clothes from the closet and leaving the room.
I find my clothes from yesterday and put them back on; when Owen leaves the washroom I go in to fix my hair a little.
"Good morning Clare," Lydia smiles at me.
"Morning, it smells good," I reply.
"I made waffles, sit down I'll make you a plate," Lydia tells me.
I sit next to Owen and his mom gives me two waffles with warm syrup and melting butter. I eat the whole thing and even manage to keep it down; on the other hand I don't eat lunch because I'm not hungry. After breakfast I text Bianca and Lucas, I ask Bianca to go to Lucas' house and grab something for me to wear at the party and get my makeup bag and hairbrush then I text Lucas to let him know that Bianca is coming. I spend the day just relaxing with Owen, Tris and Maya; we watch a few movies and just kick back until about five when the others start decorating for my birthday. Owen won't let me help, he tells the others it's because it's my birthday and I shouldn't be doing anything but I think it's because I'm pregnant and he's worried. Owen's parents leave after the house is decorated and leave Owen some money to order pizza. Dallas and Bianca arrive first. Bianca has a bag and I go into the washroom to change and get ready, when I come out Eli is there with Adam.
"Happy birthday," Eli grins hugging me and putting my gift on the table.
Adam does the same and they step into the house greeting the others. I sit on the sofa with them as more guests arrive, Tori and Zig come first, then Connor, Dave and K.C., Becky and Luke come together and Lucas is the last to arrive.
"Hey look who I found on my way here," Lucas says walking in and I look back to see Spinner and Jay follow him in.
"Hey guys," I smile getting up from the sofa to see them.
"Hey Jay, and Spinner wasn't it?" Owen asks shaking their hands.
"Yeah," Spinner nods.
"You didn't tell them did you?" I ask Lucas in a whisper as I hug him.
"No figured you'd tell them if you wanted them to know, didn't even tell them you were living with me," he whispers back.
"Hey Spin," I smile hugging him, "how's Emma?"
"She's good, she's at home I came in to pick up some stuff from my mom's house," Spin tells me.
After hugging Spinner I hug Jay and then decide I better introduce them to everyone else. "Guys this is Spinner and Jay, those are my best friends Eli and Adam, that's Owen's brother Tris and that's Maya, Tori and Zig. Those are my friends Connor, Dave, K.C., Bianca, Dallas, Luke and Becky."
Spinner and Jay say hey, they start to mingle and I sit with Eli and Adam again. Since everyone's here he calls in a pizza order and while we're waiting for pizza I open my gifts. I get a lot of gift cards, Adam gives me a new journal and a signed copy of my favorite book, Eli gives me a gift card for the bookstore and a box of my favorite chocolates. A few people give me money which will be helpful after the baby is born. When I'm done opening gifts the pizza is here and people start taking pieces and eating, I'm not really hungry but I figure if I don't start eating people will think it's odd so I take a piece of cheese pizza and start nibbling at it slowly, everyone is talking, Bianca, Owen, Dallas, Lucas, Jay, Luke and Spinner are all talking. Eli and Adam are talking and I'm sort of paying attention. Connor, Dave and K.C. are all talking in one corner, Tris and his friends in another with Becky. Everyone is having a good time; I am too but keep wishing that Drew was here. Eli and Adam are talking about Dead Hand and I excuse myself to go get a drink.
"You okay?" Adam asks following me to the breakfast counter where the sodas are.
"Yeah I'm fine," I tell him but he twists his mouth at me because he knows me better than that. I take his sleeve and pull him down the hall, "I'm just missing Drew I guess, I feel like he should be here."
"You want to call him?" Adam offers.
"No he doesn't want to talk to me, besides Owen probably wouldn't be too happy," I lie. Actually Owen would be happy and wouldn't mind one bit because we're not really dating. Truth is I'm scared to talk to Drew, I don't want him to be angry still and I think he needs more time to heal.
Adam gives me a sympathetic smile and hugs me. I get a soda and we sit on the sofa with Eli again. Tori and the younger kids leave at 11, including Tris who is sleeping at Maya's house. Everyone else stays until Owen's parents come back, I thank them for the party, gather my things with some help and kiss Owen goodbye since everyone is here. Lucas, Jay and Spin help me take stuff out to Lucas' car and load it in, I hug them goodbye and Lucas starts driving us home.
"So did you have a good birthday?" Lucas asks me.
"Yeah it was a nice birthday, I do wish that Drew was there though," I admit.
"I'm sure he'll make up for it when he comes back," Lucas says putting a hand on my shoulder, I smile and he drives us home. "We'll leave everything in the car and I'll grab it in the morning," Lucas tells me when he parks in the driveway.
Not wanting to carry anything in either I agree it can all stay in the car, the gift cards and cash are all in my purse anyway. Lucas unlocks the door and we go in quietly since Evelyn is asleep, Lucas goes into his room so I go into the washroom first to brush my teeth and wash my face. In the middle of brushing my teeth however I start feeling funny, my heart starts pounding, not beating fast just hard, like it's trying extra vigorously to pump blood. I get sort of dizzy, more like light headed, gripping the side of the sink as I drop my toothbrush in the sink and take a couple of deep breaths but it doesn't pass. Rinsing my toothbrush I drop it in the holder and go into my room. I'm still not feeling great but it's not really concerning, there's so much going on in my body there are bound to be times when I feel off. I get undressed and slip on a nightie practically falling into bed and drifting to asleep.
(OWEN)
"So Drew's home next week," Dallas remarks when I get to my locker.
"Yeah I know next Friday, can't believe he's been there almost too months already," I remark but it feels like he's been gone longer, maybe because Clare talks about him every day and it breaks my heart how much she misses him. "You think he's better? I mean he's not going to come back angry still?" I ask him.
"He doesn't sound angry on the phone, he asks about Clare too, kind of a lot, he uh might try and get back together with her," Dallas warns me and I only shrug. "You mean you're not worried?" Dallas asks.
"I knew she was still in love with Drew when I asked her out, not going to stand in their way," I reply, Dallas looks at me like I'm insane and opens his mouth to say something but Tris and Maya come running up before he can.
"OWEN! OWEN!" They yell running up together.
"Something's wrong with Clare!" Maya tells me in a hurried and panicked voice.
"Where is she?" I ask and they take off running so I follow them.
I hear Dallas running behind me, we round the corner and I see Clare slumped over leaning against the wall, her hands on her legs and her head down. My first thought is that she's dizzy and about to pass out again, we're near the storage room so there aren't a ton of people here but a few are gathered around her.
"Back off give her some room to breathe," I bark at everyone as I run over to her.
I put a hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me with a small smile straightening up. "I'm okay," she says trying to assure me.
"You don't look very okay," I respond.
"Should we take her to the nurse? Or call an ambulance?" Dallas asks.
"No I'm okay really just forgot to eat this morning," she asserts taking my hand, she's putting on a smile for everyone but she's squeezing my hand very tightly. "Walk me to class," she requests.
"Of course," I reply taking her backpack and putting an arm around her shoulders. "You sure you don't want to go to the hospital or home at least?" I ask her.
"My next appointments in two days, it's not that bad I just feel kind of…off," she tells me.
"Off how?" I question.
"I don't know, hard to describe, just off. There's a lot going on right now in my body but I'm okay," she affirms although she sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than me.
"Do I need to get you some food?" I ask her.
"No I had toast this morning," she replies.
"Okay if you start to feel worse I'm at least taking you home," I tell her.
She nods as we get to her homeroom class, the classroom is empty but I walk her in and she sits at her desk. I set her backpack down but I'm worried about leaving her alone so I sit on the desk next hers. I stay with her even after a few other kids come in the room but I don't leave her until Adam is there because I know he'll watch her close.
"Hey Owen," Adam nods to me. He doesn't pay much attention to me being in here with Clare because like the rest of the school he thinks we're actually dating.
"Hey, watch her for me she wasn't feeling well," I tell Adam and he gives Clare a worried look.
"Yeah don't worry I'll keep an eye on her," Adam assures me.
I give Clare one more look and then leave her to go to my homeroom. Dallas is already there and he nods to me.
"Clare okay?" He asks.
"She says she is but I'm kind of worried," I admit.
Class seems to drag on because I can't help but worry about Clare. When I see her parenting though she looks a lot better and I'm relieved. I still have her sit at the table with me and Luke just to be safe. For the rest of the day she seems fine, she doesn't eat much but that's normal she hasn't eaten much for the last ten weeks. I still keep a close eye on her though and when Lucas picks her up I tell him to watch her and I'll be over after practice. Coach works us hard during practice and I'm beat when it's over and starving but I want to go check on Clare. I drive to Lucas' place and he answers the door when I ring the bell.
"Hey she's resting upstairs, I have to work tonight and my mom was asked to take a double shift," Lucas says as he lets me in.
"I'm staying the night then, I know she said she was fine but I'm not taking any chances leaving her alone," I tell him.
"Yeah that's what I thought you'd say there's an air mattress in the closet and sheets and stuff. I have to leave in about an hour and I gotta shower but there's some pizza on the counter," Lucas informs me.
"Thanks, I'm gonna go look in on her and run home before you leave," I tell him, he nods and I go upstairs.
"Hey," she smiles when I peek into her room, she's sitting on her bed doing her homework.
"Hey, I'm sleeping over tonight," I tell her.
"Uh you know we aren't actually dating," she says.
"Yeah I know but you didn't look well this morning, Lucas is working tonight and so is Evelyn so I'm staying. I'm going to run home and grab some stuff and I'll be back before Lucas leaves for work," I tell her.
She doesn't argue and I leave her room calling to Lucas that I'll be back in ten minutes. Then leave and drive home to pack a bag for the night.
Update next Tuesday from right about her, Owen staying the night, Clare's appointment and Drew's return.