A/N: Two more chapters after this one. Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing, it means a lot.

"Steven," I whisper into the darkness.

"What?" He mumbles sleepily, shifting a little until he's facing me. He hasn't opened his eyes yet.

"Tell me about Walker."

That gets his attention. His body tenses against mine. I place my hand on the back of his neck.

"I shouldn't ask."

"No, it's okay." He finally opens his eyes, blinking a little to adjust. "What do you wanna know?"

I'm suddenly unsure, numerous questions racing through my mind all at once.

"Why did I trust him?" I ask eventually, deciding that it covers enough bases.

"That isn't easy to answer," Steven replies, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Why?"

"We weren't really speaking much when you were chumming it up with him."

"Oh." Realisation settles around me. "You met him though?"

"Yeah, he was weird," Steven chuffs a laugh. "No wonder you liked him."

"Did I though? I don't remember feeling…" I trail off at the look on his face. "I mean, we were hardly best mates, were we?"

"I can't imagine you having best mates, except maybe Pete." He looks thoughtful now. "I guess you must have trusted him enough though, until he showed what he really was."

"And then I killed him."

"It wasn't really that simple. He threatened the kids, not to mention everything else he did before. Like with Lynsey…"

I wince at that particular memory.

"You did what you had to do, to protect the people you love."

I nod; these are words I can understand.

"You shouldn't feel guilty or anything," he says, surprising me.

"I don't think it's guilt I'm feeling," I tell him truthfully. "Before when I only remembered… well, I felt differently then. But Simon… that gave me some clarity."

"Clarity?"

"'None died who didn't deserve to die.'" I snort. "Can't get truer than that when it comes to Walker."

"No arguments here." Steven smiles a little in the darkness. His face grows more serious after a few moments. "Your Nana though… that one even keeps me up at night."

"What do you mean?" I feel a tightness in my chest. Of all the revelations, that one had hit me the hardest.

"I just can't believe she did that, all those years…" He looks into the middle distance, face screwed up in anger. "I hate her so much, maybe even more than Walker. She was an old lady with cancer but I just hate her."

"She tried to be a good woman," I attempt, my voice wavering.

"It's unforgivable what she did."

"I know. I should have kept calm though, let her die peacefully."

"You were angry, I get that."

"Steven, you can't make sense out of this."

"I know I wasn't there but-"

"There's no excuse for what I did. They might have deserved it but I still killed them, took their lives away. Lifetime in an instant." My thoughts drift back to that final conversation between Nana and me. Steven places his hand against my face, drawing me back to him.

"Hey, don't go there," he says quietly.

"She took everything away from me, Steven. That's what I told her. I told her she took Cheryl, my boys, you…"

"You mentioned me?" He sounds surprised, like he can't imagine how important he was to me even then.

"Who else?"

"You have me now though, and your Cheryl. Paddy and Declan will come round too."

I shake my head at his words. "It's not in the way you think. I'll never get back those years with my boys. All those times I couldn't put them to bed or give them a bath. And Cheryl? We'll never be the same."

I wait for him to say that in time things will be the same, but he doesn't. He knows the truth.

"It'll never be the same between me and Cheryl either."

"I know." I bow my head, feeling suddenly exhausted.

"What about me then? Do things feel the same?" He looks wary to even ask the question but I can tell it's been on his mind for some time.

"Nothing's ever the same. With us though it'll be better. I promise." I kiss him then and for a moment he lets me. Eventually he pulls away.

"This is our fresh start you know, me and you."

"I just hope I don't fuck it up this time."

Steven shrugs, not coddling me with false praise.

"I trust you, that's enough isn't it?"

"More than I deserve."

"Stop that." He tucks his head underneath my chin, against my chest. "Where do we go from here then?"

"We carry on like-" I stop myself from saying normal. We're never normal.

He wraps his arm around my waist, curling against my side. "There's still something that hasn't come back to you yet," he says it so quietly I almost don't hear him.

"What's that then, hm?"

"Your accident."

I blink in surprise. "What do you know about my accident? Did you talk to Cheryl?"

"No, well yes actually but… I was there, sort of."

"You were there? How?"

"That meeting we had in the hospital, it wasn't our first since prison."

I sit up a little, stunned. "What are you talking about?"

Steven sits up with me, withdrawing into himself. "It's a bit of a long story."

I wait for him to continue and when he doesn't I look at him again. He's staring at me with wide eyes.

"It would maybe be better if you remembered yourself."

"Steven…"

"I know that's a lot to ask but it's gonna sound a bit weird if I explain it to you."

"I'm not a patient man, Steven…"

He laughs a little then, relieved. "If you can't figure it out in a few days then I'll just tell you. I promise."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"How could I? You didn't remember me, or anything to do with us. It wouldn't have made sense to you."

"I guess…" I frown, frustration beginning to eat at me.

"Let's get some sleep, forget about it till morning."

"Easier said than done."

"I know but I'm dead tired and I reckon you are too. Come on, Bren." He pulls me to him, placing a soft kiss on my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," I murmur, settling back down on the bed. Steven sighs in relief, making himself comfortable against me.

"You working tomorrow?"

"Yeah, not so late this time though."

"I'll get us some dinner in, something special."

"You don't have to."

"I want to." His fingers trail against the hairs on my chest. "I'll get us steak."

"You're gonna make me hungry if you aren't careful."

"Hungry for what?"

His gaze locks with mine in the darkness. All at once it's just me and him, alone in our flat.

"Come here," I say, my arm wrapping around his waist.

His mouth is wide and eager on mine, palms placed against my chest to hold himself up. Both my hands are on his hips now, pressing into his skin. There's something about the stillness in the flat that separates this experience from the rest. Maybe it's because we're alone, truly alone, or maybe it's because of our conversation before. Either way I'm on him in moments, pressing him into the mattress, hands above his head from where I'm gripping them.

He groans into my mouth, hips bucking fruitlessly from where I have him pinned. One hand holds him while the other gropes for the lubricant, Steven's eyes following my hand hungrily like he knows exactly what's coming.

Even after all these years I know his body better than my own. I know just where to press inside, where to put my lips and teeth. Steven responds as beautifully as he's always done, working himself up to such a fervour that I have to quieten him with my lips before I remember there's no one else in the flat.

"Brendan," he moans and I never tire of hearing it. I know what he wants; my fingers have been opening him up for me, digits slick with lubricant and my own spit to get things moving. His hips are angled perfectly for me and I find myself lined up against his hole, sliding inside with more ease than our last few times.

"There's a good lad," I tell him, kissing along his throat as I begin to rock my hips.

"You like that?" I ask teasingly, withdrawing just enough to drive him crazy before slamming back inside in one fluid motion.

"You know I do," he practically growls and it makes me smirk with the challenge.

"Difficult to tell, Steven. You're normally a lot more vocal than this."

"What more do you want?" Steven gasps, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I want you to tell me how good this feels."

"Fuck sake, Brendan." He pants a little, opening his eyes again. "Feels so good, fucking amazing."

"That right?" I straighten up to get a better angle, pulling his legs with me. He repositions himself, grabbing one of my hands and gripping it tightly.

"You know it does."

I chuckle lightly, feeling the sweat gather on my back and face.

"I believe you," I tell him, grinding my teeth as I begin to feel my climax building. "You gonna come for me?"

He nods, hand tightening around himself, pumping to our combined rhythm.

"Jesus," I breathe, shuddering with the force of my orgasm, not slowing down until we're both spent.

Steven's come is pooling on his stomach and he winces a little as I withdraw. I grab tissues, putting some underneath his arse and the rest on his belly.

I laugh breathlessly. "You look a mess."

He grins at me, cleaning himself up. "Your fault."

"Can't say I'm sorry."

He shrugs, turning onto his side and stretching himself out like a cat. "No complaints from me." He holds out his arms to me and I immediately slot inside them, like I belong there.

"You're all sweaty," he tells me like I don't already know.

"Want me to freshen up first?"

"Nah, let's just go to sleep."

My limbs feel weightless as I settle myself in the bed and I know Steven's feeling just as loose as me. My head is against his chest now and it seems incredible that he's supporting my weight but that's just who he is. We fall into an easy sleep, the nightmares kept at bay for tonight.

He's up early the next morning, no doubt making us breakfast. I roll onto my side, my arm connecting with nothing. I bury my face in his pillow before reluctantly dragging myself out of bed.

I pad out into the kitchen, expecting to smell something delicious but there's nothing. No Steven, no breakfast. I frown, making myself a coffee and sitting in front of the television for the morning news. I don't take any of it in, wondering where he's got to.

I finish my coffee, deciding on a shower to clear my head. The heat of the water soothes out my tired muscles and it occurs to me that I haven't gone for a run in a long while. I turn off the shower, putting on tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt. I'll have a proper shower when I get back and hopefully by then Steven will be here to join me.

I take my keys and phone with me, zipping up the pockets in my tracksuit top. I'm already up to a good pace by the time I turn the corner. It's still fairly early and the morning is grey and bitter. I puff out breaths evenly, enjoying the way my body is burning with the effort. By the time I reach the village I'm beginning to work up a real sweat. I jog around the outskirts, not wanting to bump into anyone I know.

Unfortunately it's a small village. I'm just passing the pub when I spy Danny sitting outside. I pause, jogging on the spot. Bit early for him to be drinking. I frown, moving closer to see what he's up to.

Sitting opposite him is someone I can't see the face of. I circle until I'm in a position to see their face clearly and startle when I realise it's Steven.

"Have you told him yet?" Danny asks, voice low and urgent.

"Not yet, I'd rather he got there on his own." Steven's glancing around anxiously. "Why did you wanna meet so early anyway?"

"Easier to talk when it's just the two of us."

"You mean without Brendan." Steven's rolling his eyes now.

"I can hardly get near you with him around," Danny's voice is soft, like he's genuinely upset. Steven doesn't seem to be drawn in by it.

"Even if he wasn't with me, do you really think I could just pretend everything is normal?"

"I know it isn't easy, son but things are starting to get back to normal. Sam and I-"

"I don't wanna hear it." Steven's rubbing his arms. He's forgotten his coat. Danny doesn't seem to have noticed. "Look, I have to get back. Brendan will be wondering where I am."

"And I didn't wonder where you were for all those weeks you went missing? How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"

Steven shakes his head. "It's no good being sorry if you don't mean it."

"But I do mean it," Danny says earnestly, reaching across to place his hand on Steven's arm. "Come round tonight, we'll talk properly."

"We aren't doing that now?"

"You could bring Brendan."

"He's working tonight."

Danny stumbles for a moment before recovering. "Just think about it, okay? Your sisters would love to see you."

Steven's face softens for a moment but he's heard all this before. "I'll think about it," he says eventually, standing up.

Danny stands with him, suddenly alert. "Let me know, yeah?" He quickly takes Steven in his arms, releasing him just as quick. Something about it makes my insides recoil.

Steven's moving away from Danny and coming towards me. I start moving again, hoping that I can beat him back to the flat or at least stay out of his sight. No such luck.

"Bren?" I pause, cursing under my breath before turning to face him. "What you doing out here?"

"Woke up and you weren't there, thought I'd go for a run."

"Oh right." Steven rubs his hand on the back of his neck. "I just came to speak to my dad."

"I see that," I say before I can stop myself. Steven frowns at me.

"Were you spying on us?"

"Not intentionally," I hedge.

"What do you mean?"

"I just happened to come across you," I explain. My legs feel wobbly from lack of movement. I start jogging on the spot. "I'll meet you back at the flat, okay?"

"Okay," he says uneasily and I take off. The run back isn't quite as pleasant. There's something itching at me that I can't scratch.

I let myself in quickly, not heading straight to the shower like I planned. I wait for Steven to return, which isn't very long. He gives me the once over.

"You look knackered."

"Been awhile," I admit, hands on my knees. "Listen, I need to ask you something."

"What?" Steven asks warily, perching on the edge of the sofa.

"The night of my accident, you said you were there."

"Brendan, I thought we weren't gonna-"

"No, I know. I just need to work this out. Was Danny there too?"

Steven's face goes blank. "Why do you say that?"

"Just seeing the two of you earlier, something was familiar about it."

Steven looks down at his hands, heaving a sigh. "I guess I'm gonna have to just tell you, aren't I?" He gestures for me to sit. "I said it's a long story. Do you wanna shower first?"

"Later," I say decisively. "Go on."

"Okay," he breathes and begins to tell me everything.