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Ch. 8 I Should Not Have Let You Go

(OWEN)

After dropping Clare at class I walk to geography and find Drew already at his desk. Which happens to be right next to mine, he's sort of glaring at me but he looks ashamed too, which is good because he should be ashamed for what he did to Clare.

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" Drew whispers leaning over to my desk.

"You went nuts and got yourself sent off. You've been gone for eight weeks a little late to be asking that now isn't it?" I question. Okay I'm egging him on but I want him to get jealous and realize he's been an idiot.

"She's my girlfriend," Drew growls loudly, "and she's carrying my child," he whispers into my ear since other people are in the class now.

"Well you've got one out of two right, she's not your girlfriend anymore," I remind him.

Bianca comes in and sits down, the teacher begins class and Drew doesn't say anything else. When class lets out I don't want to get into with Drew so I leave quickly and go pick up Clare from her native studies class.

"It's working, he's jealous," I tell her in a low voice as we walk to the front.

"He doesn't seem very jealous he's been avoiding me all day," she sighs.

"I have to swing home for a change of clothes but I'll be over by 6:30," I comment when I open the door for her to get in Lucas' car.

Clare smiles and I watch them drive off before I walk to the bus for practice. Dallas says Drew was talking about Clare a lot and warns me again that he might try and get back together with her. I only shrug again. Practice was pretty rough, coach worked us hard; when the bus takes us back to school I hop straight in my car and drive home. Mom has dinner ready and I'm starving so I sit down to eat.

"Sleeping at Clare's again," I tell mom with my mouth full.

"You're always sleeping at Clare's," Tris rolls his eyes.

"Owen don't talk with your mouth full," Mom scolds.

As soon as I'm done with dinner I pack a bag and say goodbye to my family and head to Lucas' place. Lucas lets me in, he has to go pretty soon and I tell him I already ate before going up to Clare's room.

"How you feeling?" I ask her.

She's sitting on her bed doing homework, leaning back against the headboard with her laptop on a bed tray and a wireless keyboard on her lap.

"Not bad, I ate all my dinner and it hasn't come back up," she tells me.

"Good," I smile sitting on the bed and getting out my homework.

We work in silence for about an hour until Lucas tells us he's going to work. He kisses Clare's cheek and we say goodnight to him. Clare finishes her homework and then grabs her pajamas from the closet.

"I'm going to take a shower," she says.

"Okay," I nod.

Clare walks off to the shower and I continue with my homework, Clare returns wearing her pajamas, a light blue tank top that is not supporting her breasts. She's also got on light blue pajama bottom shorts and she's chewing on her lower lip for some reason.

"You feeling alright?" I question.

"Mmhmm," she replies.

"You don't sound alright," I comment, "are you in pain?"

"No," she shakes her head; she gets in the bed and covers up.

"I know," I remark setting my book down, "you're horny again."

"You don't have to take care of me again," she says but doesn't look like she means a word of it, especially as her legs open a little when I pull down the blankets.

"Really it's not a hardship, I told you I would," I grin, I would feel guilty but Clare is hot and I like getting her off.

"I know but Drew's back and…" she stops pulling a breath in through her teeth as I hook my fingers into the waistband of her shorts.

"Yes and I think he's jealous and coming around," I comment pulling her shorts down a little, "but you're horny and Drew's not here. Besides think how much more guilty he'll feel when he finds out you were horny and he hadn't come round yet to take care of you."

"Drew better come around soon," she says taking her shorts off for me and then her panties, "or I'm going to lose my resolve and make love to you," she adds under her breath as I go between her legs but I hear her.

I grin and slip my tongue into her and she moans gripping my hair. I grasp her hips as she starts to squirm, my tongue licking around her heated core. She tastes like chocolate and strawberries tonight, last time she tasted like sugar cookies. Clare moans her waist and hips gyrating against me, I can tell she's getting close and I let go of her hips, my thumb pressing against her clit and she moans louder. Her body tenses and she screams out when she climaxes. I help her ride out her orgasm before removing my tongue.

"Feeling better?" I inquire licking my lips.

"Yes but if Drew does come around this is going to be hard to explain," she says.

"No it won't, he left you and I stepped in, just more for him to be ashamed about," I shrug.

Clare giggles and I get back to my homework. Clare gets tired and goes to bed pretty early, I finish my homework and get into my bed already set up on her floor. I wake up some hours later when I hear a crashing sound in the washroom. Evelyn has her own and it's only 1am so Lucas isn't home yet. I jump up and run out to the washroom knocking on the door.

"Clare?" I hear movement and after a few seconds she opens the door. "What's wrong?" I ask noticing that she's clutching her upper stomach.

"I'm okay, it's just heartburn I think, I vomited a bit, guess dinner isn't sitting so well with me after all," she tells me.

"You look a little pale," I remark.

"Got a little dizzy," she responds and then scrunches her face as if in pain.

"I think I should take you to the hospital," I tell her picking her up.

"Owen you're overreacting, I'm okay heartburn and dizziness are all part of being pregnant," Clare argues.

"And you just looked like you were in pain," I point out.

"Heartburn, can you take me back to bed now?" She requests turning off the washroom light.

"Fine but if you get any worse I'm taking you in," I tell her firmly.

I put her back in bed and grabbing my comforter from the floor and lay down next to her.

"What are you doing?" She questions.

"Keeping an eye on you," I reply.

She doesn't argue, just turns on her side with her back to me and falls asleep after a short time. When she's asleep again I fall asleep but I'm on alert for the rest of the night.

(DREW)

I'd spent all morning watching Clare with Owen, he was constantly around her, picking her up from class, carrying her backpack, getting books from her locker. I hated how he was always around her, I hated even more that I didn't have the courage to talk to her still. I tried; I got about ten paces from her and turned around. Now it was lunch time and I was watching Clare and Owen eating on the bleachers. Only Clare doesn't seem to be eating much and then she throws up, which was unpleasant to watch as it falls through the bleachers. Then Clare suddenly goes limp! Owen picks her up and she becomes conscious as he's carrying her.

"Where are we going?" She asks putting her arms around his neck ad they approach the picnic table.

"I'm taking you home," Owen responds as they walk past me and Owen shoots me a look.

Clare doesn't seem to argue and as I turn to watch them walk to the parking lot Bianca appears. She sits on the picnic table next to me and watches Owen carry her to his car.

"Is she okay?" I question.

"I don't think the pregnancy is going very well," Bianca says.

"What do you mean it's not going well?"

"According to Owen she's been throwing up, getting dizzy, passing out. She passed out in school the other day. She was in a lot of pain after her first prenatal, of course that might have something to do with the fact that she had a speculum and the doctor's hand shoved up inside her. Owen got mad at him and made sure she didn't have that doctor the last time," Bianca comments.

"What do you mean the pregnancy isn't going well? Is Clare going to be okay? The baby? How bad is it?" I question in one breath.

"Why don't you get over yourself and talk to her! Obviously you still love the girl," Bianca suggests.

"Yeah, thanks Bianca got to talk to a few other people first," I tell her and run inside to find my brother. He's in the auditorium helping Eli with his play and everything stops when I burst in. "Excuse me I need to borrow my brother a minute," I announce dragging Adam off Eli cock an eyebrow at me but only shrugs and gets back to work.

"Okay what's up?" Adam inquires when we're in the music room and I've locked the door.

"Clare's pregnant and it's mine," I confess.

For a second he just stares at me, then my brother curls up his fist and punches me right in the eye! To be fair I deserved it.

"YOU BROKE UP WITH HER BECAUSE YOU GOT HER PREGNANT!" Adam yells at me. "You couldn't be a man so you got all pissed at yourself and made life miserable for the rest of us! You bloody moron! You've done a lot of stupid crap before but really Drew?! You were in love with Clare and you left her as soon as you found out she was pregnant didn't you?!"

Adam has that look in his eye that I didn't want to see, that look of anger and deep disappointment and shame. Worst part is I know I deserve every ounce of it.

"I know Adam; I was beyond a moron, a terrible horrible pig. I found out she was pregnant and I just freaked out. We always used protection and I was convinced the baby wasn't mine at first."

Before I can say anything else Adam speaks up, "Clare would never cheat."

"I know Adam, I was angry and scared, I didn't know what to do and I flipped out. I was angry, at everything really but I'm still in love with Clare, I want her back and I want to raise the baby with her. I know I screwed up and I know she's dating Owen but I'm still in love with her and I will do anything to get her back. I'm going to make it right Adam," I promise my brother.

"Good, Clare needs you, needs us. This explains a lot actually although I'm still angry that neither of you told me," Adam grumbles.

"Sorry Adam, I didn't want you to hate me and I don't know what she was thinking," I reply.

"A baby's going to be a lot of work you know," Adam tells me.

"I know but it's worth it, I'm in love with Clare, she's all I thought about for weeks. I gotta go talk to Mom, Clare's living with Lucas and I think she should live with us, or I should live there but I don't want to be apart from her anymore," I tell him and Adam smiles.

"Now you sound like the brother I look up to. Go talk to Mom," Adam tells me his grin getting a little bigger.

I smile at brother and leave school, getting in my car and driving home. Dad's of course at work but I know Mom is home, she looks surprised to see me when I come in but I am supposed to be at school.

"Andrew what are you doing home?" Mom questions.

"I need to talk to you, it's really important," I respond.

"So important that you left school and what happened to your eye?" Mom asks looking at my eye which just now starts to throb. "Did you get in a fight?"

"Not exactly, Adam hit me," I inform her.

"What? Why would your brother hit you?" Mom asks getting an ice pack from the freezer so I can put it on my eye.

"I deserved it Mom. Clare is pregnant, I freaked out when I found out and broke up with her," I admit.

"Andrew Torres how could you do such a thing? How could you be so heartless? Breaking up with your pregnant girlfriend! When did you two start having sex?"

"Months ago but we always used condoms. When Clare told me I just lost it, I was scared and angry that it happened and I took my anger out on her. I broke up with her and told her it wasn't mine and it was her problem. I know what I did was terrible but I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, I want her back Mom. Her mom kicked her out and she's living at a friend's but I want to be with her and I want our baby to be raised by us. I want her to move in," I inform my mom.

"Well," Mom says slowly like she's still processing all the information. "I'm very disappointed in you for your behavior these last couple of months but I can at least understand where it was coming from. I am proud of you for finally doing the right thing and taking responsibility. I agree that Clare should move in here, especially if Helen kicked her out which isn't too surprising. I'll call your father, maybe we can move Dallas into your room and convert the basement into a little apartment for the two of you and the baby after it's born. I'm not a babysitting service though, and you'll need to get a part time job to help with finances," Mom informs me.

"Yes ma'am whatever it takes," I smile. I don't care what it takes; I will move mountains if it means I get Clare back and she can move in and we can raise the baby together.

"Alright get back to school and I'll call your father," Mom tells me.

"Thanks Mom," I grin.

I hug her tightly and then go out to my car driving back to school; it's my spare right now so I stay on the steps waiting to hear from Mom. She calls about half an hour later. She says Dad agreed Clare should move in, she can move in right away but the basement won't be ready until this weekend and we'll need lots of help. I'm sure Adam will help, probably Dallas too and Bianca and a few of our other friends. Owen maybe, if he's still my friend. Maybe even Lucas will help. I've still got fifteen minutes before class and Owen's on his spare too, assuming he's back at school. I go looking for him in all his usual spots and find him with Bianca and my brother in the memorial garden.

"Hey Owen I need to talk to you," I tell him.

Bianca and Adam already know that Clare is pregnant and I figure that Dallas will find out anyway.

"Okay what's up?" He questions.

"Look I know you two are dating now but I'm still in love with Clare. I want her back and that's my baby she's carrying s…"

"Whoa! Baby?" Dallas interrupts; I ignore him and keep talking.

"She should be with me; we're going to raise the baby together. Mom and Dad said she could move in. I know you're going out with her but that's my baby. I messed up I know but I'll make it up to her. I know you care about her bu…"

"Dude stop," Owen laughs, "we aren't really dating."

"WHAT?!" Adam and Dallas exclaim at the same time.

"What the hell do you mean you weren't really dating?" I question.

"It was all a rouse to make you jealous and make you realize you were being an idiot. It took you fucking long enough to come around though, Clare was beginning to think you'd never come around," Owen says.

"Dammit, I'd kill you if I wasn't so relieved right now. Thanks for looking out for her but I need her back; I have to be the one that's with her. She's moving in, oh and Dallas you're moving into my room, we're converting the basement into an apartment for us," I inform my billet brother.

"Okay, I'm still working on the fact that Clare's pregnant and Owen was fake dating her," he responds and Bianca laughs as the bell rings for class.

"Come on boys we have geography," Bianca comments pulling at me and Owen.

"Yeah and we have native studies, I'll make sure and get Clare's homework," Adam remarks.

"I'll take it to her I need to talk to her after school anyway," I speak up. We wave to Adam and Dallas then the three of us walk to geography. "How bad is it?" I ask Owen when we sit at our desks.

"How bad is what? And what the hell happened to your eye?" Owen questions.

"Adam punched me when I told him everything," I reply.

"Good," Bianca comments.

"How bad is Clare? I saw her throw up and pass out," I tell Owen.

"Yeah it's been pretty rough, she's been pale, dizzy, throwing up, passing out. She tells me it's all part of the…" Owen stops before he says pregnancy as other kids come in the room, "it, but frankly dude I'm worried."

I sit back in the chair with a sigh; I've been spending the last ten weeks pissed at the world and ashamed while Clare's been suffering through a pregnancy. I watch the clock, waiting for the bell to ring so I can go talk to Clare.

(CLARE)

"Hey," Lucas says poking his head into my room, "you have a visitor."

I expect it to be Owen, perhaps Bianca or possibly Adam but I almost choke when I see Drew come in the room.

"Hi," he says with a nervous grin, "brought your homework."

"Holler if you need me," Lucas tells me before closing the bedroom door.

"Drew wha…" I start to say but he's suddenly next to me on the bed, he cups my face and overtakes my lips before I can ask what happened to his eye.

The second his lips touch mine I melt, it's a feeling of coming home, that my lips were only ever mean to touch his. I grip his shirt, pulling him to me a little more, wanting to feel all of him that I can. His other hand rests on my hip, my lips part, my tongue seeking out his, feeling it, caressing it, tasting him and knowing that I'm not dreaming like I have so many time before. It's several minutes before our lips part, only parting for need air and my eyes opening to lock onto his.

"I'm still in love with you Clare; I was always in love with you. I know I screwed up and I know you have every reason to hate me but I am still in love with you. This baby is ours, it belongs to us and it should be raised by the two of us, besides which I know you and Owen weren't really dating," he tells me with a grin and I smile sheepishly biting my lip.

"It was his idea, he thought you'd come around in a couple of days. What took you so long?" I question gripping him tightly as part of me still worries that this is just a dream.

"Sorry I was angry, but not at you, at me, and the whole situation. I couldn't talk you, I was too afraid, I was terrible to you and you have every right to hate me," he says.

"I don't hate you, I was worried about you. Worried that you were so angry and that you hated me," I respond.

"No," Drew shakes his head brushing a curl behind my ear, "I could never hate you Clare. I hated myself, I hated the whole situation and the thought of Adam hating me and my parent's disappointment but I could never hate you. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me but I am now. I know you're not really dating Owen and I want you to move in with me. My mom, Dad and Adam all want you to move in too, you can stay in my room with me for now but we're going to convert the basement into an apartment," Drew informs me.

"You've already told your parents? And Adam?" I question.

"Yeah Adam hit me but he calmed down," Drew says.

"That's what happened to your eye then," I comment.

"Yeah, I'm okay and I deserved it. Mom was pretty disappointed and angry too but she was glad I was coming around and doing the right thing. She called Dad and they both want you to move in. You should be with me, not here, move in with me and I promise to spend every day making up to you how horrible I was and taking excellent care of you," Drew proclaims.

"Do you mean it Drew? You have to mean it Drew, this kid isn't going to go away, you can't change your mind, y…" Drew cuts me off with a kiss before I can say anything else.

He lingers in the kiss; it's a little harder and a little more passionate than the last one. He takes his lips from mine slowly, his lips wear a soft grin and his eyes lock with mine showing nothing but love.

"I mean every word of it Clare; I was an idiot, more than an idiot, an enormous self-absorbed moron. Please move in with me and let me make it up to you. Let me prove to you that I can be a man worthy of you and our child. Can you ever forgive me Clare?"

"Yes but you have a lot of making up to do," I tell him.

"I know I do," he nods.

"And I have to tell you something but remember what a complete imbecilic cretin you were being," I comment and Drew nods. "Owen's been sleeping here," I tell him.

"I know," he speaks up before I can continue; "I thought you were sleeping together at first but then Owen told me it was all fake."

"We never had sex but part of being pregnant means my hormones are raging and Owen ate me out a couple of times," I confess and Drew goes a little red.

"How many is a couple?"

"Just twice and you can't get that mad, you left me pregnant and alone and Owen stepped in," I remind him.

"I know, I guess it's better than you two having sex," Drew says but I can tell he's still angry. "I should have been here not him but I will be here from now on. Come on let's get you home," Drew comments pulling me up from the bed.

"I'll go tell Lucas. Guess this means Owen doesn't need to sleep over tonight," I remark.

Drew sort of growls putting his arms around me from behind and interlacing our fingers, "The only arms you'll ever be sleeping in again are mine."

"I never slept in his arms Drew; he only slept over because he was worried about me being alone at night. I passed out and hit my arm on the sink. Lucas works night and Evelyn is usually deep in sleep, Owen slept over in case anything happened I wouldn't be alone. He took care of my other needs exactly twice and as nice as it was I wished it was you the whole time," I tell him turning my head to kiss his cheek and he grins.

"Go talk to Lucas I'll start packing you up," Drew says letting go of me.

"Everything okay?" Lucas asks when I come downstairs; he's on the sofa watching TV.

"Yeah Drew apologized and he knows that he has a lot to make up for. He, and his whole family, want me to move in with them."

"Good you should be there; can I have a chat with him now? I want him to know if he ever does something so stupid again I'll break him in half," Lucas comments getting off the sofa.

"I'm pretty sure he knows that, he's packing me up now. You and Evelyn have been extremely kind to me and I don't think I can ever pay you back," I tell him.

"It was nice having you here; anyway I had my own screw up to pay for. C'mon, let's go get you packed up," Lucas smiles hugging me with one arm. We walk upstairs and Drew is still getting clothes in my suitcase, Lucas lets go of me and I know he's going to chat with Drew whether I want him to or not. "Took you long enough to come around, glad you finally did but if you hurt her again…"

"I know you'll rip me head off, so will my family, Owen, Bianca, Eli I'm sure and probably Dallas. Don't worry I learned my lesson; I will never do anything to hurt her like that again. Thanks for taking care of her," Drew says holding his hand out and Lucas shakes it.

Now that they've made peace we finish packing me up. Lucas and Drew get my bags out to the car, I hug Lucas and tell him to say thank you to Evelyn. Drew thanks him again and we get in his car to drive to his house, or should I say home.

"Welcome home Clare," Audra says hugging me when we're inside. "I'm sorry we didn't know until now but you're here now where you belong. The two of you will have to be cramped into Drew's room through the weekend but I called Glen t…"

"You what?" I question worried what my mother may have told him and that Audra may have gotten in a shouting match with my stepfather.

"I was sure that your mother hadn't told him what was going on and I was right, he hadn't a clue. He thought you were living with your dad because you didn't want to be around Jake again. Well anyway he wants to help, he and Jake are coming over this weekend to help us with the basement, getting Dallas moved into Drew's room and Drew and you set up downstairs. We'll be turning downstairs into a studio apartment for you two, of course we have to leave the washer and dryer down there which we all have to use but we'll move the video games and stuff up here," Audra explains.

"Hey," Drew whines.

"Don't worry we'll leave you with a TV but you'll have very little time for playing video games anymore Drew. Now why don't you take Clare's bags upstairs and get her settled, your brother is downstairs doing homework and dinner will be ready in an hour," Audra says.

Drew takes my bags and I follow him upstairs, he drops them on the floor of his room and I take his hand.

"Are you still sure about this?" I question him.

He grins, interlacing our fingers and cupping my face, "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Then he abducts my lips in a blistering passionate, tenderly loving kiss. A kiss that I instantly melt into, a kiss that more than words conveys to me how much he loves me, cares for me, how truly sorry he is and how very much he means every single word he said.

Update next Tuesday picking up from around here, also including the next day at school when everyone else learns she's pregnant and maybe some of the weekend.