A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Will. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 13: Miz Hears Pixie's Plan

Dinner was more subdued, aside from the usual tangle to get Christian to give up his box of Mizmallows. Miz thought the little marshmallows were possibly starting to resemble him, but then he pushed the thought away. He was pretty sure that thought was crazy, and he didn't need any more trips to crazy right now, thanks. After dinner, he and the others tried to play a game of monopoly, but Punk kept blessing the pieces, Orton kept trying to bite people, and Matthew kept cheating. By the time they had it all sorted out, no one had won and Miz was more than ready to be sent to bed.

True to her word, Pixie managed to sneak in after everyone was asleep, including Miz. The cat woke him by digging her razor claws into his chest. "Ow!" Miz yelped.

"Quiet!" the cat hissed. "Do you want to wake the whole hospital?"

"Your little claws are sharp!" Miz protested.

"Just have Jesus over there pour some Pepsi on it tomorrow and you'll be fine."

"All that does is make me sticky and annoyed," he told the cat.

"Sure, but it makes him happy."

Miz sighed. "So what's the plan?"

"Right down to business, huh? That's good. I like that." The cat curled up on his chest, purring, her eyes half closed. "So here's what I'm thinking. Did you get the gum?"

"I got some gum, yeah."

"You're going to use that to disable both the door and the camera."

"It's just gum."

"You can slip it into the lock and make it jam," the cat said. "I saw that once on MacGuyver."

"You know that's just a TV show, right?"

"I'm a cat, not an idiot," Pixie said. "The gum will disable the camera. All you have to do is wad it up and stick it to the lens."

"Ew."

She stretched out, nearly touching noses with him. "Don't go soft on me, new guy. It's gross but effective. And if you're so worried about the door lock, then all you really have to do is swipe a key card that'll open the locks."

"And where am I supposed to get that?" he asked.

"Punk," said the cat. "He'll take me back to the nurse's station in the morning. While he's there, he can swipe one from Agnes. She's sweet, but she loses like two of them a week, so no one will think much of it."

"Okay. That takes care of the door and the camera," Miz said. "But we'll still be on the grounds. Then what?"

"If you wait two more nights, the laundry truck will be leaving through the gates. They never check the backs of those things."

"You watch a lot of TV, don't you?"

The cat seemed almost to shrug. "What else is there to do in the crazy ward? You lot get out past the gates and into town, but get out before they open the back of the truck."

"That may be easier said than done."

"I'm coming along," the cat said. "So if you need help, you'll have it. Anyway, get out of the truck and then you'll have to find a ride."

"Okay," Miz said, frowning. "Uh, just one problem. Where are we going?"

"I don't know," the cat said. "You'll have to ask your team that one."

"You think they know?"

"One of them must, right? Surely there's someone out there who can clear your name."

"So I'm supposed to sneak a lot of huge men into a laundry truck, get us out before we're discovered, to go somewhere and find someone who might be able to help me?"

"That's the plan, yes. Take it or leave it."

Miz sighed. "The plan sucks. The problem is, I don't have any other options. I don't know if there's anyone out there who can clear this up, but if I don't get out of here, I'm going to have a total nervous breakdown."

"Dude," said Pixie. "You're talking to a cat. I think the breakdown has already been and gone."

"Be that as it may," Miz said, frowning, "your plan is just crazy enough that it might work, provided someone can tell me where to go."

"I've seen your work on TV. I'm sure there are lots of people out there willing to tell you where to go."

"Ha ha, that's funny," Miz muttered.

The cat sniffed and leapt down from the bed. "I thought so. Now how about you get the door?"

Miz grumbled and got up to get the door for Pixie. "This better work."

"Don't worry, it will." She scooted through the door. "See you in a couple days."

Miz sighed and fell back into bed. "I can't believe I'm considering doing it."

"Of course you're considering doing it," Punk's muffled voice said from the next bed.

Miz turned to look at his roommate. "How long have you been awake?"

"Quite a while, actually," Punk said. "I'm going to make Pixie my minister of baptisms. Do you think she'd like that?"

"She's a cat. They don't like to be wet or sticky," Miz said, "so baptisms are out."

"Oh. Good point." Punk frowned. "Though if that's the case, she shouldn't be telling everyone to drink more Pepsi, should she?"

"Drinking it's not bathing in it."

Punk sighed. "This is why they put you in here. My father sent you."

"Okay," Miz said slowly.

"It's the only thing that makes sense. The cat talks to you and tells you different things than she tells me. She told you how to get out, didn't she?"

"Yeah," Miz said, "she told me."

"Do you think it'll work?"

"I hope so. I'm not sure how much more of this place I can take."