Chapter 4: The Many Annoyances of Greyditch!
"Hey everybody, did the news get around
About a guy named Butcher Pete
Oh, Pete just flew into this town
And he's choppin' up all the women's meat…"
A song on Galaxy News Radio played out loud from Ferna's Pip-boy as a raider's head flew through the air and their body, holding a switch blade in hand, slumped to the ground. Close by to the first raider was a pile of ash that used to be a raider at one time. Along a back wall there was a spiky green haired body that was torn to shreds by sharp claws.
"I'm Gonna kill ya!" Shouted a female raider holding a pool cue as she started charging from several yards away. It was only seconds after that two razor sharp edged cards struck her. One buried itself deep into her skull and the other was probably half way into her stomach. The raider fell to the ground as blood trickled from the corner of her mouth.
"Really?" Alice asked as she gave a frown at the raider. "Why do these raiders think a pool cue could beat a gun or any other projectile and just charge?"
There was a loud zap sound as another pile of ash fell to the ground, where another raider once stood. "Beats me. I mean they don't even wear much protective gear." Ferna said as she gave a smile and looked at one of the pieces of gear.
"Though I have to say this strainer cup top armor is kind of sexy in a way." Ferna said with a smile to Alice. Alice blinked a few times and blushed for some reason. Ferna wasn't sure what to make of this reaction but continued. "I mean if you don't mind all of the spikes and exposing your midriff." Ferna secretly wanted to see Alice in it. She couldn't help but look Alice over and imagine the green-eyed beauty wearing such armor and lounging on a bed giving her a seductive smile.
Cheshire just watched the two and gave an amused chuckle. He then picked up some items to store himself. After that, he grinned and prodded one of the dead bodies. He found doing such activities entertaining at times.
Alice noticed Ferna was looking away and secretly stored a set of the strainer cup armor. She kind of liked it as well, even with the spiky bits. She then asked "What do you think is the meaning of this 'Butcher Pete' song Ferna?"
Ferna stood up and pressed a finger to her lips as she said, "Some might say it is about a man going on a killing spree. I however, think it is about a man that comes to a town and pretty much seduces every woman before taking her to bed. In the end he just becomes a sex crazed lunatic though."
Alice gave a thoughtful look before saying, "Hmmm… I think you're right about that Ferna." Alice then broke open a lock after using enough force and took out some medical supplies and ammo. She tossed the 5.56 mm ammo clips to Ferna who caught them. Ferna then told Alice to pick up the 5mm ammo she found in a locked crate for the minigun.
Ferna also gave a smile as she picked up a few grenades as well. After that her blue eyes practically glowed when she found some more energy weapon ammo. It was different from what her pistol used, which excited her. Her Pip-Boy called them microfusion cells. She felt really excited about the idea there were other types of energy weapons for her to find and use.
Cheshire after a while vanished up to the top of a group of shelves. He waited there while Ferna started hacking every single computer she could and picked every lock. Alice was following her around and the two would talk and share giggles. He found this 'Female bonding' rather boring as they went on about the gossip they found on these computers.
He gave a yawn and said, "Tell me again how we got here?"
"Well we were on our way to Greyditch, but then we saw this big still intact building on the horizon that just so happened to be an old school." Alice started.
"Then Alice here said she had never been to a school and wanted to see one." Ferna took over. "I then thought it might have some interesting loot or something and so here we are."
Alice gave a smile, "I really find this place fascinating." Ferna raised an eyebrow at her as she hacked a computer next to a suspended mutilated torso. Alice gave a frown as she said, "Well it is if you ignore the profanity on the walls and the 'décor' the raiders provided."
Ferna looked around and after a few minutes gave a slow nod. She then found the password and shook her head at it. "Seriously what the hell is up with these raiders and their network names and passwords? They all seem to make their network something like FUK_U_LOL or HAXORS_69. Then they go with passwords like 'Boobies' and 'penises."
Cheshire gave a chuckle. "I don't see why you are so surprised Ferna. These guys charge you with your Xaolin assault rifle ready to fire and Alice's minigun whirling with only sticks and blades. Some use rifles held together by this duct tape and maybe glue. Most don't bother with such weapons though."
Ferna let out a sigh. "I know… I know… Still it does get to be annoying. I just wish they would come up with something more creative."
"Honestly, I find it amazing they can figure out how to hack one of these computer thingies in the first place. They don't seem to be very smart at all." Alice said.
Ferna gave a hum of thought before saying, "I think you're right about that Alice." She then pursed her lips as she asked jokingly, "Do you think maybe they have a Raider network Tech Support hotline or something?"
Alice blinked a few times before asking, "What is 'Tech Support'?"
Ferna opened her mouth to explain and sighed, "Someone like me. It was my job to work on computers along with Pip-Boys back in Vault 101."
"Do you think I could get one of those Pip-Boy contraptions?" Alice asked. She had seen Ferna use it for all kinds of amazing and wonderful things. She also thought if nothing else it could be used to knock someone out. She was sure the metal casing was heavy.
"If we find a vault out here apart from my own we can look. I know how to unlock them and hook them up to someone's arm." Ferna said as she clicked on the 'unlock safe' command and pulled out a lot of bottle caps and prewar money stacks. She didn't really understand why someone wouldn't go and trade the old world money for caps and instead store it though.
Alice asked what unlocking a Pip-Boy required and Ferna explained before a low voice interrupted them. "As interesting as your conversation about technology is. I think we should get going again. Didn't one of the logs mention something about ants in tunnels nearby?"
"Yes it did. I guess we should do something about it. This school is close enough to Megaton along a road so it might cause problems. It won't be easy though…" Ferna said.
Alice gave a smile as she then asked Ferna sweetly, "Since it won't be easy do you think you could lend me this missile launcher you talked about? I have plenty of ammo for it, and I know you don't want to use it."
The red haired girl gave Alice a look as she said, "No offense Alice but I am not sure I want to give you something that powerful. Plus the thing is in horrible condition and it might explode on you instead of firing."
Alice gave a pout as Cheshire chuckled and said, "It is a dead shame you can't seem to use you jackbombs here Alice. Then you might be able to show Ferna you know how to use things that explode."
Alice gave a grin as she said, "You know I haven't tried to use that yet. I might be able to do so. I guess we will find out once we take on those ants!" Cheshire gave a wicked grin, Ferna was half curious and half horrified. Elsewhere in many different parts of the Capital wasteland once more several beings gave unexpected shivers to thoughts about things called, 'jackbombs'.
Ferna knew she shouldn't ask what was on her mind but she had to ask. "What is a Jackbomb?"
Cheshire just gave a chuckle as he said, "Well if Alice can use them here than you will soon find out." Ferna wasn't comforted by this at all, but shook her head knowing that would be the only answer she got.
{-} {-} {-}
It took sometime but the group managed to clear out the rest of the raiders, and one of them had the key to the door they needed open to face the ants. Ferna had tried to pick it but it was too difficult for her to pick. Once they entered they saw the flood lights mentioned in the computer. They also heard the sound of insects below.
Alice looked down into the cavern first. She popped her head back out and said, "There aren't that many here at this entrance it looks like." She then used a hunting rifle to shoot. Ferna told her if she just wastes all of the minigun ammo on everything it wouldn't be good when they needed it the most.
Alice sighed as it took far too many slow shots to kill a couple of ants with the rifle. Ferna took them down faster, which didn't help Alice's mood. Alice wanted to feel useful here. If Ferna could so easily take care of this many then what good would Alice be other than as company.
They came across a few other ants and they weren't that much trouble for their group. Finally it looked like they were in a main chamber with several scattered skeletons around it. Alice really wondered how this many people and animals could have died in here. The ants weren't really that tough to kill.
"I am starting to think that most people out here don't know how to shoot or something." Ferna said more to herself but loud enough the others heard her.
"Why do you say that Ferna?" Cheshire asked. He seemed to be acting extra cautious for some reason. His yellow eyes were narrowed and he was scanning the area with caution.
"Because look at all of these dead people down here. The skeletons are too old to be from these raiders." She answered the cat.
"Well shall we head back then? There might still be a couple of rooms to clear of raiders or boxes to pick." Alice said.
Ferna nodded but first picked up some ammo and a book on how to use guns. She thought it might be a fun read. As soon as she picked it up though, they all three heard something that sounded like the skittering of many legs.
Alice pulled out her minigun and got ready. She had a feeling they would soon find out why there were so many bones here. It didn't take long before several ants started pouring out of the passages in the walls of the cavern. She started to fire her gun and soon many ants started to fall but they were quickly replaced by even more.
Ferna was shooting with her Xaolin rifle. She even tossed a few grenades but the ants were fast enough to get out of the small blast radius. The red haired girl cursed as she shot more.
Cheshire was glad his claws were really sharp or he was sure he wouldn't have been able to help out against these ants much. However he knew how many more were surely on their way. "Well I guess we know why there are so many dead bodies here." He said as he cut through a couple of antennae.
Cheshire managed to dodge an attack and noticed the ants missing antennae were actually attacking anything that moved nearby. He grinned and decided to keep that little tidbit for future use. At the same time though he knew they needed to do something if they wanted to get out alive. "Girls might I recommend a tactical retreat? There is a difference between bravery and stupidity after all."
Alice looked around as she used her Vorpal Blade to slice off a nearby ant's head. She grimaced at the crunch but there was also a part of her that seemed to smile at the sound. "I think you are right. Back the way we came. Now!"
Ferna and Cheshire followed her orders. Once they were up a good bit into the tunnel back to the school Alice stopped. "What are you doing Alice? Shouldn't we keep running?" Ferna asked.
Alice gave her a smirk as she confidently said, "Just watch Ferna. Get behind me you two." Ferna and Cheshire obeyed her again. The large cat seemed to have a knowing grin on his face as the two watched what the dark haired girl did.
Alice smiled in triumph as she bought out a jack in the box, pressed something on it, gave it a crank, and tossed it right into the choke point in the tunnel. Ferna watched with interest as she heard that familiar tune.
Just as the box got to the 'Pop goes the weasel!" part a twisted looking clown face sprang out and spewed fire that started to roast the ants. It wasn't long before most of the ants chasing them were roasted and the few remaining ran back to their tunnels. The whole time Alice had an odd smile on her face while the remaining ant fires burned to nothing.
"Well I guess I now know what Jackbombs are." Ferna said casually and gave a small chuckle. "Does it do more than act as an automated flame thrower for a few minutes? If it doesn't, then I don't get the bomb part of the name."
In answer both Alice and Cheshire gave grins as Alice pulled out another one, pressed something on it, cranked it and tossed it inside the choke point. She then said sweetly to Ferna, "Might want to get back a little more." Ferna wasn't about to argue and she sprinted back a good bit.
This time when the box got to the "Pop goes the Weasel" part, it exploded and the tunnel below shook before caving in. "Hmmm… Seems the Weasel had a diet of gunpowder and explosives before he was chased this time." Cheshire said with a rumbling laugh. Ferna blinked at the sight before her a few times and secretly wished she had some Jackbombs herself.
{-} {-} {-}
Shortly after the ant tunnel, the trio emerged from the school in the back. They came across a few more raiders but with three of them the raiders didn't last long. Ferna grinned brightly as she saw there were several boxes to pick and a couple of terminals to hack.
Alice was rummaging through trunks and Cheshire was cleaning himself from the top of a bookshelf. Alice heard a groan and slit the throat of a nearby mostly dead raider with her knife without even looking as she picked through a box full of stuff.
Cheshire gave a lazy yawn as he asked, "So are we actually going to head to Greyditch after this?"
Ferna paused what she was doing and gave a laugh. "You know I almost completely forgot about going to that place. Thanks for reminding me about it Cheshire." The cat just gave an amused scoff and rolled her eyes.
{-} {-} {-}
Ferna sighed as she read over the last entry on the terminal she just hacked. It was some teacher boasting about his affair with some sexy blonde high school cheerleader. Ferna found it a waste of her time.
She didn't mind reading about someone's mundane day and their ramblings, but this was different. She didn't like hearing about this teacher's conquest, but she knew it was mostly because she was jealous.
She still hadn't had sex yet. It wasn't easy in a small vault like 101, plus her dad was very protective and always keeping an eye on her, until he left that is. The closest she had come to sex was a little experimental fun she had with Amata one or five times.
"Is something on your mind Ferna?" Alice asked in her beautifully accented voice.
Ferna looked to her and blushed before saying, "Just that these terminals are a real crapshoot. I mean sometimes they talk about interesting things, but other times they're just some person's journal." She answered hoping she wouldn't have to go into more detail.
Alice just gave a nod. Ferna stretched back in her chair and let out a slow breath. "Anyways… Let's go to this Greyditch place now."
Cheshire raised an eyebrow at her. Ferna gave a nervous giggle, "I promise no detours this time." She then gave both Alice and the large cat a wide smile.
Alice didn't really care either way, she was just happy to be traveling this new place with someone she could get along with. Cheshire wasn't so sure they would stick with the plan, but he did have the patience of a saint. He needed it for Alice's trips through Wonderland.
{-} {-} {-}
After going through a few empty burned out or intact houses, and running through all of Super Duper Mart again for some reason. The small group finally were closing in on Greyditch. "No detours… I promise… you said Ferna." Cheshire said with a deep rumbling laugh.
"Exactly! No detours! We went in a straight line to get here... It just so happened we made some stops on the way." Ferna said in defense.
Cheshire laughed deeper and Alice gave an amused smile as she playfully rolled her eyes. Honestly she was very much enjoying herself on this often side tracked quest of Ferna's. She did however feel a little bit of accomplishment having reached a short term goal of theirs finally.
"So what do we do now that we are here?" Alice asked.
Ferna was about to answer when a boy that looked to be twelve to fourteen years old ran towards them. The kid kept going on and on about something he brilliantly called "THOSE!" Alice sighed and rolled her eyes at the 'helpful' name the kid had given these supposedly nightmarish creatures that wiped out the whole town except him.
Ferna gave a sigh. Really she was a bit annoyed with this kid already. "So these monsters called 'THOSE' killed everyone in your town?"
"Yah you know THOSE! They came from the ground and attacked everyone. Well everyone but me and that weird guy in the white lab coat. He disappeared earlier. He was strange. He lived in this shack and had this large metal human thing in it and one of those green screened tv things that still worked." Bryan said to them.
"Please! You got to help my dad. He's been fighting these things for a little while now. He asked me to come out here to the road and get help. Everyone else just keeps walking on after I tell them about THOSE Things." Bryan said.
Cheshire gave the kid a glare as he said, "Did you ever think it was because you call these things THOSE!? Not many would willingly run in there without knowing more about what they are facing. Surely you have half a brain and would know this."
Bryan was about to say something but Ferna spoke up, "Well let's go everyone!" Ferna then led them into Greyditch.
"Well it seems we are the type that do just go into something not knowing what we are facing." Cheshire said with another chuckle.
"Really Cheshire we have heard rumors about this place for a good while now and we are here. Besides if everyone is dead but this kid then there will be plenty of locks to pick and terminals to hack. As you know, Our friend here loves such things." Alice said dryly as she readied her cards.
Ferna gave a sniff as she said, "I don't seem to recall you complaining much when I gave you a large amount of ammo for your minigun earlier Alice."
Alice frowned as she said, "I wasn't meaning to complain. I was merely pointing out a few facts to Cheshire here is all."
They might have chased the topic more but Bryan spoke up. "Great so you will help me then? Don't worry I won't be in your way. There was this old nuclear shelter booth thingy near the diner. I will hide out in it." The kid then ran off into the dangerous town alone.
"I am not too sure about the intelligence of young Bryan. I mean really? You would think he would want to have an armed escort into this supposedly dangerous town." Cheshire mused to his companions.
"Maybe he hasn't been burned or electrocuted enough to know any better yet." Ferna said in response. Alice gave a slightly amused look to Ferna's words. Cheshire decided he liked this Ferna girl more and more every minuet, since she felt that was the right way to teach idiot kids. It was a method he completely agreed with.
{-} {-} {-}
The trio was sneaking their way into Greyditch, well Ferna was sneaking. Cheshire didn't really need to worry about "sneaking". Alice didn't really seem to have much sense of danger period. They fortunately hadn't really come across much yet other than a few easy to kill worker ants, but they were now actually entering the little town's main street.
They all paused as they saw a large ant walking around just a little in front of them. Alice immediately started shooting her minigun at the thing. Surprisingly it seemed to be a lot stronger than the others were.
Ferna frowned as she slipped into VATS and queued three head shots on the ant. Two struck but the third missed. It was almost dead and she was sure a well-placed shot from Alice's minigun would finish it.
Alice shot several times and missed a good bit, but she still struck it a few times. Unfortunately, Alice's shots hit the legs and did little actual damage. Both Alice and Ferna frowned at this with different thoughts in their mind.
The ant then got close enough for Cheshire to strike with his claws. At the same time though the ant spewed a large gout of yellow hot flame at them, and three sets of eyes bulged before their owners reacted.
Ferna dived to the side. Alice burst into several butterflies and reformed on the opposite side of her friend. Cheshire disappeared and reappeared behind the ant and his long razor sharp claws struck and blood poured out from the trails his claws left.
"We need to get you a Pip-boy Alice." Ferna said.
"Or a Missile Launcher!" Alice said with a dreamy expression on her face.
"No, we need to get you a Pip-boy." Ferna said with a firmer voice, causing Alice to frown and Cheshire to let loose a deep rumbling laugh. Ferna had come to realize he really liked laughing a lot.
"Regardless. It seems our fair Ferna here was right to go with sneaking around this place." Cheshire said to them, hoping to head off a debate on the advantages and disadvantages of Alice having a Missile Launcher, for the moment at least.
His words of reason worked this time it seemed. Alice crouched down by Ferna as the two made their way around the corner ready to attack if needed. Cheshire prowled just a little bit behind them.
"So we need to find Bryan's father and then look into this scientist guy's shack for the moment I believe." Ferna whispered to her friends.
"Either way I say once we finish this quest we enjoy a drink or two together in that diner he talked about." Alice replied quietly. Cheshire raised an eyebrow and Ferna nodded emphatically.
Alice then gave a musical giggle, to which the others looked at her with questioning looks. "Sorry I just thought it a little funny we are fighting quite literally fire ants." Cheshire gave a chuckle and Ferna rolled her eyes before giving a little giggle herself.
They approached two ants. One was a solider ant and the other was just a worker ant. Alice threw a few cards at the worker ant while Cheshire attacked to finish it off. The two made quick work of the smaller ant.
Ferna queued three head shots and one body shot with her now favorite gun, the Xaolin assault rifle. All four shots struck and Alice finished it off with her minigun. The group was surprised how much of a difference getting in the first attack made on these ants.
They finally came to the first house in the settlement that wasn't boarded up tight, and entered it. Right away they set about looting the place since there weren't any signs on Ferna's HUD showing enemies. Alice actually gave a little sigh of disappointment.
"Really Alice? You are upset we didn't have to fight more fire breathing ants in this small building? You do realize there is a lot of wood here and wood burns right?" Ferna said giving Alice a look.
"I guess I should be thankful… But it is just that Leo here is so satisfying to fire." Alice said as she gave her minigun an affectionate pat. Ferna shook her head but couldn't help but smile. Cheshire grinned like always to Alice's comment. Alice then pressed a finger to her lips as she said, "Hmmm… Maybe Kev is better… Or how about Sarah?"
Ferna blinked at the three different names. She decided to ask a question that might be disappointing to her in some strangely logical way only she could figure out. "Well which name sounds like it would be the most satisfying Alice?"
Cheshire for some reason just chuckled as Alice answered. "I think Sarah sounds most satisfying." Ferna blushed and the cat just chuckled louder. Ferna then blushed further as Alice gave "Sarah" a slow and seductive caress.
The group surprisingly found ammo for Alice's minigun and Ferna's Xaolin in a few crates. While Ferna was busy hacking into the computer and reading the many ramblings of a paranoid ex-solider, who after digging deeper proclaimed cheese graters couldn't be trusted, Cheshire approached Alice and quietly slipped a few missiles into her inventory for 'Future use'. Alice smiled brightly and gave the demonic cat a big hug.
Ferna gave a sigh after reading an entry in the super deep hidden journal which spoke about toasters joining the graters and plotting against humanity. "Well not too much of value here but it seems this guy's secret journal would make for quite the enjoyable read during free time. I wouldn't be surprised if he had ended up writing the post-apocalyptic version of the Discworld series or something."
Cheshire raised an eyebrow at these words and asked in his rich deep voice, "What is this Discworld series you speak of Ferna?"
Ferna gave a nervous gesture and said, "I forget you two aren't from vaults. The Discworld series were pre-war masterpiece comedy books. They were some of the funniest books written. They usually affectionately made fun of your typical fantasy stories. Maybe if we get into a vault at some point, I can find digital copies of the books to share."
"I really don't see how these 'digital' copies of books would help Cheshire and I out unless you don't mind me holding your arm to read it." Alice said.
Ferna gave another blush as she thought of some overly romanticized vision of her and Alice reading books from her Pip-Boy around a fire place in a recently cleared raider camp. Just her and Alice together while Cheshire was off doing whatever it was a Cheshire cat did. Of course the two girls wouldn't be alone, Sarah would be there as well as the Xaolin Assault Rifle, and maybe a missile launcher.
Ferna shook are head of her musings just before Cheshire decided to give her a little poke with his razor sharp claws to see if she was still with them. "Well I had intended to also get you and Cheshire Pip-Boy's as well remember? I think he is good enough with those claws of his to use one."
"I think I like sound of that. I only hope we can find one worthy of such an esteemed Cheshire Cat like myself." The cat said with arrogance that would leave most of the 'sophisticated' crowds in London wanting, but caused the two girls to laugh.
"Either way we need to help this little kid and kill these Fire Ants first." Alice said. Both her companions nodded in agreement.
{-} {-} {-}
The group entered a few more buildings and killed several more ants with little luck in finding Bryan's dad. The shack at least had been fruitful. Ferna found out about the scientist that thought he could control these ants and take back the Wasteland for humans. The computer also pointed out which house was which and had all the information on the residents of the place one would want including insignificant details.
"Well I must say this Dr. Lesko fellow seems to be very through in his observations, when they don't refer to his scientific research." Alice said in her alluring voice softly. It caused Ferna to jump in her seat and give a little 'eeep'.
"You were reading over my shoulder Alice?" Ferna asked with a hand on her chest.
Alice gave a frown. "Sorry Ferna. I didn't mean to startle you like that..." Alice then smiled as she continued, "Even if it was a little fun and the sound you made was cute."
Ferna's cheeks matched her hair for a few seconds as she said, "It isn't polite to do that Alice. I figured you of anyone would know this. I could have been still hacking the computer or something."
"Sorry. I couldn't help it. I noticed how you seem to be fascinated by the things you read on the computers, and my curiosity got the best of me. I will be more careful in the future." Alice said elegantly.
Ferna gave a smile. "No worries Alice. Just don't surprise me like that again and make sure I am actually finished hacking first."
Alice gave a grin and said, "Well no promises but I will try Ferna." Ferna just gave a half smile and rolled her eyes much to Alice's amusement.
The group finally entered one last building before heading to the Marigold Station to find the source of the ants and kill them. As they opened the door, they noticed this house was much different from the others. There were ant bodies everywhere and bouts of flames on the walls. Plus many of the ants seemed to have been killed with a knife instead of a gun.
In the center of the carnage was a dead body with several guns around it and ammo cases along with something that brought a smile to Alice's face. Alice right away picked up a flamer and smiled as she looked the thing over and found several gas canisters for it.
Ferna blanched at the thought of Alice having a flame thrower, but then she oddly felt a little excited by the image of Flame Thrower Alice in her mind. Cheshire gave a wider than usual knowing grin as Alice looked over the Flamer.
"Well this ought to come in handy when we aren't facing fire ants. I should think." Alice said as she stored it away. Ferna watched and then realized how odd and amazing storing items really was. It was something she and many others probably took for granted, but to think they could carry around lots of items without them being visible was… actually a little scary and overwhelming, but still amazing.
It didn't take long to figure out this was Bryan Wilks' dad. Still it was Cheshire that voiced their thoughts aloud. "I must say it seems Bryan's dad is what many would call a bad-ass." The two girls nodded. "Pity then that his son seems so… soft…" the girls nodded again.
Ferna then picked up a note and the group went to the Marigold Station. When they entered Alice found the place amazing. She had seen the London Underground, but it seems such a thing was hugely improved upon after two hundred plus years. She also had a feeling the London Underground would probably be much more magnificent then this metro station was, even if it was just her national pride speaking.
{-} {-} {-}
The group cleared out several more fire ants as the made their way through the train system. They also discovered Ferna wasn't exactly the best with directions, even with her digital map. They were now about to enter a door with a red flickering light, eager to see what was beyond it.
Cheshire had found some note for a "Grady" on their trek through the tunnels. They had passed the note three times before he saw it and picked it up. Once he had the note they found the safe key mentioned in the note.
However, before they used the key for the door, Ferna insisted on picking the lock and hacking the terminal. She claimed it was for practice, but Cheshire and Alice both figured it was something she did just for fun. They didn't interfere though. After all Ferna was their "leader" or something of the likes.
Finally after picking the lock and hacking the terminal, they opened the door they could have easily passed through with just the key in Alice's hand. Inside they found some ammo boxes and the safe they needed the key for. Ferna gave a sigh as she said, "I could have picked that lock too you know."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes we know Ferna, but I really wanted to use this key!"
Cheshire chuckled as he said, "Patience Ferna. I'm sure we will come across many locks for you to pick and numerous computers for you to hack during our adventure." His words seemed to soothe Ferna a great bit.
Alice then gave a questioning look at the garment inside the safe and asked, "What is this Ferna?"
She held the garment up to her chest and Ferna blushed a little as she said, "Sleep wear Alice."
Alice's eyes widened and she looked at the garment closer with fascination. "Really?!" Ferna nodded. "My mother would give me a harsh scolding if she saw such a thing and in my possession! I think it looks nice though. What is it Ferna? Can I keep it?"
Ferna had a bit of a goofy expression on her face as she looked it over and said, "My Pip-Boy calls it Naughty Nightwear. Says it increases your speech and luck."
Alice gave a laugh as she said, "I don't doubt it. If anyone were to see either of us in this I think they would be greatly distracted, and subsequently more willing to cooperate."
Ferna laughed to that. "I'm sure you're right Alice. You can keep it if you want."
Alice gave Ferna a seductive and teasing smile. "Thank you Ferna. I even might wear it on display for you sometime." She then walked away to empty an ammo box and gave a little sway to her hips for show.
The three were heading out when a dirty man in raider armor stopped them. He had a pistol in bad disrepair lazily pointed at them. "Give me the Naughty Nightwear!"
Alice looked to Ferna with a raised eyebrow. "Is this guy serious Ferna?" She asked. The confusion was very evident on her face.
Cheshire gave a menacing chuckle that unsettled the guy, but he kept the pistol aimed. Ferna shrugged her shoulders and asked, "I don't suppose you would just let us go with it would you?"
The man's gun was shaking as he weakly said, "No I won't."
Ferna frowned and said, "Well then… the answer is no… Alice?"
Alice then gave an only somewhat sadistic, but still enchanting, smile as she decided to test out her new Flamer on the idiot. It wasn't long before the guy was burning in agony as his flesh started to melt and he soon died.
"It is times like these I have to wonder just how intelligent mankind really is." Cheshire said in a bored voice as he licked a paw. Ferna and Alice both nodded their heads in agreement and stepped over the guy's dead body, and prepared to fight more ants. Alice hoped there wouldn't be too many more ants since the things took a lot of ammo to kill.
{-} {-} {-}
After passing by Naught Nightwear guy's body four times total and agreeing these fire ants were incredibly annoying, Ferna finally found the door to this Dr. Lesko's lab and the group entered.
"Oh my! You startled me!" The doctor said to the group. He then jumped back a little as he got a good look at Cheshire, much to the cat's amusement.
"You either have the devil's luck or these ants don't really care much about you sir. Otherwise you wouldn't still be alive down here." Alice said. She then looked to him and asked seriously, "Did you meet a raider asking about Naught Nightwear while you were down here by chance?"
Dr. Lesko gave a laugh. "That Lug-Nut guy?" The girls nodded. "Yes he did come around here a few times. He kept asking for that article of clothing despite the fact I told him I wouldn't dare have such a thing unless I scored a lovely research assistant somehow… or maybe built one."
Ferna just blinked a few times at the thought of a robotic female assistant. Oddly enough she could see a certain attraction to such an idea, but only if the robot looked like one of those robot girls from those old Japanese comics she found in the Tunnel Snakes secret stash.
Ferna then looked to Alice and noticed the green eyed beauty had a certain look of intrigue at the thought as well. Ferna would have happily lost herself to some wonderful and highly mature thoughts, but the doctor spoke and brought her back to reality.
"Anyways what are you two doing here encroaching on my experimental grounds?" Dr. Lesko asked.
"Experiments?! What kind of Experiments?" Alice asked eagerly.
The doctor smiled and then went into detail about them. Alice vaguely understood what he was talking about but Ferna seemed to fully understand it. The two then went on and on about scientific methods and theories on genetic mutation forced due to nuclear radiation exposure, and possible theories on reversing said mutations.
Finally after much discussion Alice spoke up. "So you want to shrink these ants, but things didn't work out perfectly." Dr. Lesko nodded. "Also you have a way to cause the current annoyingly infuriating fire ants to more or less kill their selves off and you can start again?" He nodded again.
Alice smiled at the thought of the ants killing their selves off and was about to seal the deal when Ferna spoke up. "What is in it for us Doctor?"
"Well I can give you a mutagen that will help you out here in the Wasteland along with an old lab coat of mine if you want. But really you would be providing a great service for Science and the progress of humanity in the not too distant future. Isn't that enough?" He asked.
The two talked it over and Ferna spoke. "We will take the mutagen and lab coat, and help with science."
Dr. Lesko gave a chuckle. "I see you two are very much practical individuals. I can appreciate that. Making mutually beneficial agreements do plenty to help out in this world. Anyways we have a deal."
Once they had their deal, the group made their way into the nest center to deal with the nest guardians and inject the modified formula into the queen and her eggs. And also set off the signal that would have all of the remaining ants kill their selves off.
"So we just have to take out four larger, thicker and testosterone induced guardian ants before getting in range of the queen and injecting this formula without killing her?" Cheshire asked dryly to two nods.
He gave a smirk as he said, "Sounds like you average day to me." Alice gave a snicker to this along with Ferna.
They were now facing off against the first guardian. The things were freaking huge! "What the hell?! We have to kill four of these things?!" Ferna asked as they shot at the large angry ant multiple times and Cheshire struck with his claws.
"Well yes… That is the case Ferna." Alice said in answer as the red haired girl rolled her eyes.
It took some time but they finally took out the first guardian. "One down, and three to go." Cheshire said. "Pity we don't have some way to make these fights faster… Ahh but we do… Don't we Ferna?"
Ferna sighed and had a feeling she would regret this later, but she didn't see too many options at the moment. "Yes we do." She then pulled out a Missile Launcher and gave it to Alice.
Alice's green eyes lit up! She then ran a hand over the big gun and smiled. Alice then seemed to 'hug' the weapon with her eyes closed and let out a soft moan. Ferna blushed and felt a little jealous of the Missile Launcher.
Once Alice had given her new toy a good look over, which involved a lot of rubbing and caressing, the trio made their way to the next guardian. When they rounded the corner and saw not one but two guardians. Ferna was glad she gave Alice the missile launcher.
Alice smiled as she fired a missile at the closest guardian. It struck true, but didn't kill the thing. However, the three air borne grenades Ferna threw at the two guardians finished the first off. Before Alice finished reloading, she heard the slash of claws on the last guardian and heard the "pop pop" of Ferna's favorite lethal object.
The two friends grinned at each other and made their way to the final guardian. The final nest guardian was bigger than the other three and had a group of smaller ants around it. Ferna wasn't sure what to do here. Alice soon answered for her.
Alice frowned at the ants in front of her and her friends. She then gave a smile and fired a missile at the base of the larger ant. The resulting explosion crippled the big ant and damaged two of the four other ants. Ferna threw in a couple of grenades that finished three of the four remaining ants. Cheshire dealt with the fourth and final ant of the group. It was a solider fire ant.
Once the last ant was dead, all they had left was the queen and activating the signal which would kill off all of the remaining ants apart from the queen. They weren't sure how to inject the queen or who should do it though. They started to argue, and noticed the queen didn't move from where she was. Ferna checked the Queen ant out with her Pip-Boy, and told them she remained friendly on the display.
"That thing seems extremely handy! I really can't wait to get one myself. I mean it can tell you who is our friend and who isn't." Alice said with a smile.
"Well actually it does have limits. If a bandit wasn't planning to immediately attack you then it would show it as 'friendly' even if he was planning to do something to you later." Ferna replied.
"Still this Pip-Boy contraption of yours seems absolutely amazing Ferna!" Alice said eagerly, not noticing a paw grab the injection needle as the two girls carried on about Pip-Boys… again…
Cheshire soon interrupted them with a clearing of his throat. "Excuse me ladies but would one of you two be so kind as to activate the signal now? I am rather eager for these annoying creatures to off their selves already."
"But we still need to inject the queen with the new formula." Alice said.
Cheshire grinned. "I already took the liberty of doing just that."
"Oh. Okay then." Ferna said as she worked the computer and soon received an affirmative to the signal's activation.
"Well that is that. Shall we go pay our dear friend Lesko one final visit?" Alice said as she smiled and replaced her missile launcher for "Sarah".
The others nodded in reply and carefully made their way back to Lesko's lab. When they emerged from the ant nest on a lower level they all sighed and got ready to fight more. However instead they got to see several ants battling each other with fire and pincers.
Alice gave a smile and instead brought out her cards and Vorpal blade. "I love this new signal of Lesko's. I have half a mind to kiss him for making it."
Cheshire chuckled and asked, "And what does the other half say?"
Alice gave a dangerous smile as she answered simply. "The other half says to smack him with the end of 'Sarah' for not using it sooner himself." Ferna grimaced at the thought of feeling Alice's wrath curiosity of a whack to the head from Sarah but agreed with this choice.
The three came upon a battle Royale of six worker ants and one solider ant. Surprisingly it was the worker ants who won. Alice then slashed them with her knife while Cheshire used his claws, and Ferna took pleasure in using her laser pistol. All three were smiling broadly as they attacked other half dead straggler ants.
"You know when they are close to death. It is actually kind of fun killing these fire ants. I even made a game of it!" Alice said cheerfully.
Ferna smiled as she reduced another ant into ash. "What game is this you made Alice?"
"Well it is rather dangerous I suppose, but I see how long I am willing to wait before getting out of the way of a flame spout. I also try to make patterns with my cards on the ants." Alice answered as a lick of flame came within millimeters of her dress.
"Sounds dangerous indeed, but as long as I don't have to cure your body of burns I see no problem." Ferna said as she slipped into VATS for the fun of it and lined up headshots on three mostly dead ants close together. As time sped back up and her shots hit she couldn't help but grin as almost instantly three piles of ash formed. "Nice! Three in a row!" Ferna cheered.
{-} {-} {-}
The group passed Lug Nut's body once again and they just looked at it for a couple of minutes. "You know I am going to miss good old Lug Nut here." Alice said to both Cheshire's and Ferna's confusion.
Ferna asked "Why?"
"Well I mean we have come to visit him so many times recently. It is almost as if he is our friend." Alice said trying to hide the teasing smirk on her lips. Ferna gave a small smile and shook her head.
"I know what you mean dear Alice. It is just unfortunate he is suffering from an incurable disease known as 'Death'. His words of 'Give me the Naughty Nightwear!' will forever be known as a famous last quote. " Cheshire said with a chuckle.
Ferna gave a giggle and said, "We will just have to remember his finer moments in the brief time we knew him. He showed such courage, or rather stupidity, by confronting us on his own. There is also the way he burned and was kind enough to give us some caps and ammo after he died. Once I find a special shotgun of some kind I will name it Lug Nut in his memory."
Ferna knew it wasn't right to poke fun at the dead, but the guy was a raider. Also it was kind of funny how she got them lost several times and he ended up being a landmark for them. She now knew Lesko's office was to the right of Lug Nut's body and then down past tree doors on the right wall before then taking a left and going up a flight of stairs.
After that you jumped down on to the second wrecked train before going four cars and hopping down once more and taking another right. Flawless directions. She was sure even a blind mole rat could find the office with these directions. If mole rats actually understood words and didn't attack you first.
The group finally hoped off the fourth train car and took the last right into the office. "Well it is good to meet such reliable people down here! The signal was a success, which I am guessing you figured out on your way back here." The group nodded and were all frankly tired of the many annoyances of Greyditch.
"Anyways. I have two mutagens. I can give you each one as payment along with my old lab coat. Though I am not entirely sure why you wanted it Ferna…" Lesko said.
"Well you see Alice has the Naughty Nightwear so I figured it only made sense I leave this place with a special garment as well." Ferna then walked closer to the doctor slowly, putting just the right amount of sway to her hips, which her modified vault suit did a fine job of accentuating. She then gave a saucy smile and said in a low sultry voice, "Plus I'm sure I can find plenty of uses for such a fine coat."
Lesko blushed and then said in a slightly higher voice, "Well, regardless, you have two choices of the mutagen. I suggest you two figure out who gets which one quickly… I have much I still need to do for science!" Both girls gave barely audible giggles to this and made their selections.
{-} {-} {-}
Alice gave a satisfied smile as she made some repairs to her weapons using parts she had kept from other weapons. She then took a sip of her Radioactive Cosmos. Ferna found the recipe behind the diner's bar. The drink had a nice surprisingly delicate fruity taste to it.
Alice then gave a giggle. "You know Ferna you are getting good at mixing drinks. Perhaps once we finish adventuring you could open up a bar of your own."
Cheshire chuckled and said, "You could call it Ferna's Fallout Shelter, or something else. Maybe Friendly Ferna's Fortune?" The two girls laughed as he tried to come up with a few other names as well. The eventual favorite, but extremely long name, was 'Ferna's bar Randomly Named Lug Nut!' They all three laughed to that, but Ferna decided to make a drink she would call the Lug Nut at some point.
Ferna gave a loud laugh as she took a sip of her own Radioactive Cosmos. "Do either of you two find it odd how despite everything, there seems to be more than enough booze to go around? Not that I'm complaining… But it's true. I mean this place has gone to hell, but it is almost as if both sides of the war made a special formula in their bombs that didn't hurt the booze."
Alice gave a "Hmmm" and placed a finger on her red lips in thought. "You know Ferna…"
Ferna giggled as she said, "I hope I know Ferna. I mean that is what everyone calls me."
Cheshire gave a chuckle and Alice laughed before saying, "Not what I meant Ferna." She then stuck her tongue out at the red haired girl and continued, "I meant to say you might be right. It wouldn't surprise me if the people that made all of these amazing things, even if they are instruments of death, wanted to spare the all-important booze!"
Ferna then raised a glass and Alice clinked hers to it. Ferna then said, "To the assholes before us that destroyed the world!" They each took a sip and Ferna added, "At least they spared the booze!"
Alice gave a giggle as she had Ferna fill up her glass again. She then said, "I can't help but feel like we have forgotten something. Do you have any idea what it is?"
It was at that time they heard a pounding on the nuclear 'shelter' near them, and a boy's voice say, "Hello? Is anyone out there? Are those things dead?"
Cheshire then gave his trademark grin and said casually, "That depends on if you want to tell the young boy it is safe or not."
Ferna refilled her drink and was about to open the tin can shelter Bryan hid in, when Alice gave a giggle. She then motioned for Ferna to come over to her as she whispered something into her ear. Ferna giggled as well and said, "Ohhh… That is so wrong but it might be funny and work."
{-} {-} {-}
Bryan Wilks sighed as he knocked on the door to the shelter again. He felt like a twelve year old frozen dinner. He almost gave a cheer when the door finally whooshed open, but his cheer froze in his throat. Before him stood Alice is some cheetah patterned outfit that looked like underwear.
The boy just gulped like a fish as Alice gave a confident smile. "So yah we found your dad, and he is dead." She then leaned in a little closer and gave him a slight hug. "Sorry about that. The ants are dead at least." He enjoyed the hug a lot, but then smelled the booze on her. He then came back to reality and realized his dad was dead.
He frowned at her, "How long did you all leave me in here after they were dead? What did you do until now?"
Ferna gave a snort that sounded oddly like Lesko and said, "Well the answer is rather simple child. We modified their DNA strain after taking unfortunate loses to the cause of Science! Once we finished with that we took necessary precautions to eliminate the remaining threat of the Pyroclastic Salivary strain of ants! We simply adjusted the frequency and tones of a series of carefully selected harmonious notes to force the remaining failures into barbarically attacking each other while dispensing of the weakened stragglers."
Bryan was confused and watched as Ferna took a sip of a drink and continued, "It really is quiet simple for a genius scientist such as myself! Also sorry about your father I have a temporary cure for the pain!" Ferna smiled at the kid and said, "Booze! It's everywhere. I'm relieved our predecessors decided these various liquids deserved special attention and protections from nuclear holocaust."
Bryan gave a small forced laugh before giving a sad sigh. "I guess I kind of figured my dad would be dead… Are those things really dead though?"
Ferna gave him a sincere smile as she said, "Yes they are except for the queen. Dr. Lesko has her under control. Really though, you should have a drink."
Bryan took the drink begrudgingly as Alice sat next to him. Ferna then said with a smile. "If it is any consolation your father went out like a bad-ass. He also left you this note." She handed it to him.
After a few more drinks and moments of silence Bryan gave a sigh and said, "I guess I am the only one left here now… This sucks…"
He then looked up to Alice and Ferna and asked pleadingly. "I don't have anywhere to go… Could you guys help me find a new family?"
Ferna gave an annoyed frown along with Alice. "We had to fight freaking fire breathing ants! You are safe here now! You shouldn't be asking us for more help so soon," Ferna said sternly.
"I know but it will be all lonely here now… I have a relative over at this place called Rivet City it's on the other side of the DC ruins, but if you take me to her I'm sure she will take me in. I am just a little kid. I can't stay here alone on my own. Please!"
Alice gave an annoyed sigh as she asked, "You are the most ungrateful and whining brat of a boy I have met in a long time! How old are you?"
Bryan gave her a frown but answered, "I'm twelve and a half years old."
Ferna gave a scoff. "I was doing hard and important work for my vault at the age of ten! Surely you can watch out for yourself."
"Yah but you don't know what it's like to be a kid that lost their family!" Bryan defended himself. Alice gave Ferna a sympathetic look.
Alice said "While my situation is different, I had already lost my whole family by the age of nine. So you should be able to take care of yourself." Ferna gave her a frown, but Bryan didn't really seem to care.
Bryan gave them a pout and started calling them ugly names. Cheshire brought his claws out and held them to the kid as he said dangerously, "You should be grateful kid. You are still alive and we cleared out your town for you."
Bryan blinked after hearing the cat talk again. Before he could say anything Alice spoke up and said, "Listen kid. I'm sure you could find a way to make yourself useful. There is a city not too far from here almost in a straight line to the West. I'm sure you could find some work in Megaton. But really we aren't going to hold your hand and travel all over the Wasteland to find you a family."
With that Bryan yelled at them and said something about how he might just go and die so they would regret not helping him. He next ran off for Megaton. It would only take him at most a few hours to reach it. The three companions just rolled their eyes at his dust cloud and went back to their drinks.
Once he was gone Alice smiled again and said, "Well I have to say this Greyditch place really is annoying, but at least the Drinks are good and I have a wonderful bar tender."
Ferna laughed as she pulled out a new drink creation. "Here I call this the Fiery Ant. Try it!"
Alice shook her head and said, "I am about fed up with ants, but I think this will make for a nice exception." She then took a sip and her eyes widened and she felt a little kick and a soothing burn in her throat. "Well that is good! What is in it Ferna?"
Ferna took a sip of hers and had a similar reaction. "Well it is whiskey mixed with Nuka-cola and a couple of drops of fire ant nectar in it. It has a little extra kick to it and even gives you a small brief immunity to fire I suspect. I tried it out earlier while you enjoyed another Radioactive Cosmos."
"It seems you are fond of this bar idea after all Ferna." Cheshire said.
Ferna gave a smile and said, "I like it. Maybe you two can work there as well or something too. The whole thing sounds like a great retirement plan. Now if only I could finish my quest to find my dad." Alice and Cheshire gave her supportive smiles as the sun set behind their commandeered bar and grill.
"I got it!" Said Cheshire suddenly. "You can call it Ferna's Nuclear Rabbit Hole." The other two just shook their heads wondering about his naming logic, but they gave giggles after a few seconds to his suggestion, and Alice decided she would keep a list of them as they traveled. She had a feeling he would come up with some more.
Ferna Level 5: Entomologist! +50% damage to insects. Fire ants suck! But hey at least you now know how to make better use of your attacks to exploit their weaknesses along with other insects!
Quest perk: Ant Sight! +1 perception and + 25% fire resistance. Sometimes doing things "For Science!" has an unforeseen consequence that allows you to see the 'big picture'.
Random extra perk. Mixologist! You have a knack for mixing up drinks. Not sure how this actually benefits you… But hey! You will surely be the life of almost any Post-apocalyptic party! You know if such things exist. Plus it does seem to allow you opportunity to get closer to a certain dark haired and green eyed girl.
Alice Level 5: More Dakka (Rank 2)! Big guns are really wonderful things and oh so satisfying in many ways! Plus why worry about exploiting weaknesses when you can just shoot a missile to your enemy's face?! Each rank gives you +5 to repair and +5 to Big guns.
Quest perk: Ant Might! +1 strength and +25% fire resistance. While science is incredible, strength is always needed. Besides carrying around those large guns while barely dodging fire breathing ants has done wondrous things for your body!
A/N: Sorry to any Bryan Wilks fans out there, but I always felt the "find Bryan a new home" part of the quest was stupid and the player disproportionately punished for not doing it. I mean come on… How in the hell is leaving one stupid kid alone in the Wasteland so much worse than blowing up Megaton? Also how is this so unforgivable when you actually bring clean water to the Capital Wasteland, and almost single handedly defeat the Enclave?