A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie, Annabelle and Ginger. Miz Mallows and Teh D belong to Darkest-Hearts. HB and Jack belong to PowerPeguin, who is not on (yet). As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 23: Miz Gets Directions

"Cena?" Miz asked in disbelief. "You're the real Cena, JJ?"

JJ shrugged. "Back before the robots took over, they came to me and asked if I'd like to have a microchip implanted in my head, as well as some… special enhancements. I was supposed to be a man with extra strengths and powers. A sort of cyborg, almost. Except the doctor they had doing the brain surgery nicked something he shouldn't have and… well. Now I scramble up names."

Miz stared at JJ in disbelief. "Now that you mention it," he said, "I do see the resemblance. I've been thinking for days that you remind me of someone, but I couldn't figure out who. Wow. Cena really is a robot. I thought…" He frowned. "They convinced me I was losing my mind."

"They convinced all of us," Christian said quietly. "I saw one of the robots, too, and then Vince had me committed. And now I'm still on TV."

"This is really epic, and scary," Teh D said. "You can't let them get away with this crap."

"How are we supposed to stop them?" Miz asked.

JJ hesitated, then said, "I know someone who has some pull. He's still in the WWE and they're never going to make a robot of him."

"Who is it?" Miz asked.

"Kofi."

"Kofi?" Miz echoed. "Oh. Right. The name thing."

JJ looked frustrated. "He's on the Smackdown brand."

"Well, at least we know which brand we ought to be chasing now," said Christian. "Can someone look up where Smackdown will be this week?"

"I will," Annabelle said. She grabbed a laptop from under her seat and grinned at Christian. "I love having mobile WiFi." She propped it open and surfed to the WWE's site. "Here we go. Smackdown will be in Miami, Florida this weekend."

"Great," Miz said. "At least we have a direction. Thanks."

"Sure," said Annabelle with a shrug. "But you guys are going to have to drive like mad to get there in time."

"If we didn't have a gig, we'd help," said HB regretfully, "but you know how it is."

"It's okay," Miz said. "You guys have already been a huge help, getting us out of Connecticut."

"We're not out yet," HB said.

"No, but we will be soon. And that's more than we had an hour ago."

%

Miz woke up in one of the chairs, feeling slightly stiff from the awkward sleeping position but otherwise okay. "How'd you sleep?" Jack asked him, glancing up when Miz stretched.

"Fine," Miz said. "Thanks."

"The driver says we'll be stopping for breakfast soon."

"Good," Miz said. "I'm starved."

"Yeah." Jack shook his head. "That was some wild story you guys told last night."

"We probably sound crazy."

Jack shrugged. "When you're on the road, you see weird stuff." He paused. "Well, you guys know. You're on the road as much as we are, maybe more."

"Two hundred plus days a year," Miz confirmed. "And yeah, I've seen my fair share of weird stuff. Just not anything quite like the Cena bot." He glanced over the sleeping superstars with a frown, his eyes lingering for a long moment on JJ.

Jack's gaze followed his. "You had no idea who he really was, did you?"

Miz shrugged. "I guess if I was friends with Cena, I might have. But we don't travel in the same circles, usually. In fact, I don't travel in the same circles as any of these guys. They've always been sort of stand-offish with me. I guess now I know why."

Jack chuckled. "In that case, maybe Ginger's a robot. It would certainly explain a lot."

Miz sighed. "At this point, I wouldn't rule it out. Hey, has Christian always been so blind?"

"No. He used to have pretty good eyes. That he's going blind was news to us." The bus pulled into a parking lot and stopped. "Guess we ought to wake the others. Looks like we're at Denny's. Hopefully, we don't get kicked out this time. Last time we went to Denny's, HB and Teh D got into a pancake fight. You have no idea how hard it is to get syrup out of these points." He indicated his hair. "And Ginger was pissed, as usual."

"She's got a really sunny personality, doesn't she?"

Jack smirked. "Probably doesn't help that everyone picks on her as much as possible. Anyway, I'll get the band and you get your guys and we'll meet inside. Cool?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Miz started shaking Punk. "Hey, Punk?"

"What?"

"We're stopping for food. Come on."

Punk stretched. "Where are we?"

"Denny's."

Punk sighed. "No Pepsi, of course."

Just then, Teh D came out of the back of the bus. She handed Punk a can of Pepsi and winked at him. "This is why I always carry my own supply. You never know when you'll need it."

"Bless you," Punk said. "I'm going to make you the straightedge minister of Pepsi procurement and special emergency baptisms."

"Cool," she said with a grin, before she headed down the steps at the front of the bus.

"You'll wake the others?" Punk asked Miz.

"Orton might bite me."

"I always have to do everything myself. Food!" he yelled, and sure enough, the heads of the former patients popped up from where they slept. "Come on, guys. Breakfast is waiting. Christian, please bring your glasses. We don't need another incident."

Christian muttered, "I hate my glasses," but he put them on as soon as JJ handed them over. "Thanks, JJ."

"And Orton, no biting in the restaurant unless it's your food," Punk said.

"Aww," Orton said, pouting. "What if Matt turns into Godzilla and tries to bite me first?"

Punk and Miz exchanged a glance. "You are not to provoke Matt," Miz said, "or you won't have biting or RKO privileges for the rest of the trip."

Orton crossed his arms and glared at Miz. "I don't like traveling with you. You're no fun."

"Keep it up and you won't get pancakes, either," Punk said.

"Yay! Pancakes!" Matt yelled as he rushed past Orton, who innocently stuck his foot out. Matt went sprawling. "Ow!"

"Randy!" Miz said.

"You didn't say I couldn't trip him," said the Viper with a shrug.

Punk said, "He has a point."

"Just try to behave, please?" Miz said. "I don't want anyone calling the police on us today."

"No promises," Orton said.