A/N: This chapter begins the serious AU.
He's waited three weeks for this vidcall from Hackett, a privilege Joker knows he's only been granted because of his role in the battle of the Citadel. He's up halfway through his rest shift, which is alright, because he hadn't been able to sleep anyway. No pressure, just need to convince the Alliance brass of the Reaper threat, something no even Shepard had been able to do.
It's not going well.
"Sir," the honorific is more than the Admiral deserves, but Joker's trying not to earn another court-martial. "What Shepard found on Ilos-"
Hackett cuts him off. "The late Commander's records have been reviewed in their entirety, Lieutenant, and analyzed thoroughly by intelligence. It is the opinion of the Alliance at this time that no further measures are needed-"
"Bullshit, Admiral. There are Reapers coming-"
Hackett silences Joker with a glare. "Certain allowances have been made, Lieutenant Moreau, for your behavior in light of the loss of your crew and then your mother. You may not, however, consider that-"
Black dread twists in Joker's belly. "My mother?"
Hackett frowns, swipes at a screen outside the camera's scope. "My apologies, Lieutenant. I was under the impression that you had been informed by your CO. I see now that's not the case."
There's the hushed noises of an argument off camera, and then Hackett continues. "Lieutenant Moreau, I regret to inform you that three days ago the Alliance facility on Arcturus Station suffered an extreme safety failure. This resulted in the death of seventeen Marines and thirty contractors, including your mother."
"You can't be serious," Joker says, eyes never leaving the screens in front of him. "You're headed to a Collector attack without an immunity to the seeker swarms?" He jabs at the displays. "And who the hell knows what Mordin's countermeasure will do."
"Kaidan's there," Shepard replies. There's a tone of finality in her voice, an 'of course we're going to Kaidan' that makes Joker's stomach twist. He has no right to tell Shepard who she can risk her life for.
"I still think it's fucking stupid."
"Noted, Moreau." Shepard taps the brim of his cap playfully. "Mordin's solution will work. Page Garrus and Mordin to the shuttle bay, will you?"
She leaves as the Normandy enters orbit. There's a commotion in the CIC that turns Joker's head, and if he gets to watch her go, well.
He tries to gain ground contact on each of the Alliance's five major channels, but no one groundside is answering their hail, and as the shuttle enters atmo, comms with Shepard's team start to go haywire as well.
"...are...seeing..." Shepard's voice is garbled with static. The video fades in and out, but Joker can just make out the looming mass of ship just outside the colony. Looks just like the one that shot them out of the sky.
Garrus' voice comes through, "...damn..." and that seems to just about sum it up.
"EDI?" he asks. "You on this?"
"Attempting to circumvent communication interruption, Jeff. Technology is beyond that I have previously encountered." It's not possible for the computer to sound worried, obviously.
Joker pages on the ship-wide intercom. "Dropping into atmo, crew find reentry positions."
"Action not permitted by Cerberus protocols. Please remain in orbit," EDI says.
"If you think I'm going to let Shepard take on an entire ship without firepower-" Jeff tilts their nose towards Horizon's green surface. "Wouldn't your processing power be better spent circumventing the comm interference instead of arguing with me?"
EDI goes silent, which Joker takes as a win.
Reentry takes long, nail-biting minutes. It's too long before drop below the clouds and gain eyes again.
They come in far enough away from the Collector ship that Joker's fairly sure they haven't been spotted, though it was a Collector ship that found the Normandy flying silent. Hopefully whatever horrors are being perpetrated on the colony will prove enough distraction. Joker drops the Normandy as low as he dares and heads towards the planet's main settlement.
Colonies the world over have the same low, boxy architecture, and Horizon's main urban center is no different. If you don't consider that it's become a damn ghost-town. There's no movement of hovercars, no scurrying ant-sized people, no comm traffic.
No sign of Shepard and her crew, either, but without altitude to scan from, Joker doesn't hold much hope of finding them.
He drops the Normandy lower, and the bodies of colonists come into view on the aft cameras. Each lies perfectly still. Corpses. A chill runs down Joker's spine.
"Communication block temporarily overridden," EDI says.
"Normandy, do you copy?" Shepard's voice over the comms is static laced, but loud.
"Signal's weak, Commander, but we got you."
Garrus' helmet cam comes online. He's facing Shepard, so Joker can see the intactness of her armor. After fifteen minutes of radio silence, the sight makes him breathe a little easier.
"EDI, can you get the colony's defense towers online?" Shepard asks.
"Errors in the calibration software are easily rectified, but it will take time to bring the towers to full power."
"Commander, we're close. Permission to bring the Normandy's guns to bear?"
There's a spatter of gunfire off camera. "You not remember last time our ships went toe to toe?" Shepard's panting.
"Come on, Commander, you can't really think I'd let the same thing outfly me twice."
Shepard laughs. Gunfire. Garrus turns his head long enough for Joker to see the back of Mordin's helmet. "Alright. Don't break my ship, Moreau."
"Aye, aye." The Normandy surges beneath him. "All personnel, prepare for active combat." The haptics in front of him light up in a wash of colors as the Normandy's crew takes their posts. A desire for revenge floods Joker's veins, taking him by surprise.
They inch closer, staying as close and well hidden as they can manage. The far side of the colony is teaming with Collectors, and Jeff forces himself to not fire so as to maintain stealth. Shepard trusts him to keep his people safe, so he has to trust her to do the same.
"You have incoming on your flank," he says instead.
It's a massive ship that comes into view. It rises like a mountain out of the soil, casting a shadow that consumes nearly the entire city. The Javelin torpedoes are no use, not unless Jeff wants to risk destroying the entire settlement, which means getting close enough to use the GARDIAN lasers. Without, of course, being blown to pieces.
They're less than a mile from the Collector ship's hull. "Give 'em everything we got." The Normandy's crew is more than happy to oblige.
The cameras light up blue.
"Collector ship coming online," EDI says.
"Brace for evasive maneuvers." The words haven't left Joker's mouth before he pulls the Normandy into a modified barrel roll.
The golden ray of the Collector's particle beam skims by, haptics registering heat damage along the starboard wing. Jeff skims closer, and as the GUARDIANs fire again, he's pleased to see the Normandy's not the worst off in this dogfight.
The Collector ship is sluggish, half-manned as it is, and Joker pulls off a basic Immelmann unharassed, suddenly 300 feet higher and flying in the opposite direction. There's a curse from the CIC as the dampeners fail to fully compensate, listing the Normandy's gravity sideways. Joker, for his part, lets out a whoop of glee.
The Collector's particle beam is quick to catch up, though, and lands a glancing blow off the Normandy's underbelly.
"Kinetic barriers are down." EDI's voice comes in time with the emergency alert on the haptics, but Joker ignores them both.
The ship shudders as Joker pulls a split-S, but then they're back to the site of their original bombardment. Lasers fire. They breach the Collector hull.
"How do you like that, you sons of bitches?" Cheers sound from behind him.
But they've flown too close to the Collector vessel.
"Shit." Jeff can see the particle beam powering up, and knows that all the yaws, skids, and pitch-ups in the world won't be enough to make it miss.
He pulls hard right and down.
There's an explosion off the stern cameras, but no signal of distress from EDI or the Normandy.
"What the-"
"The defense tower is now online." Computers shouldn't be able to sound smug, for the record.
It's enough distraction that the Collector beam goes wide, and Jeff scuttles the ship to safety.
Another volley from the tower gives the Normandy space to turn and fire again.
The Collector ship ruptures. It breaks apart like dried honeycomb, the metal guts little more than vapor.
"Clear space, Normandy. Civilians on board." The Commander's voice, now free of static, pierces the absolute silence.
Joker settles the Normandy just south of town, and tries to remember how to breathe.
It's not like Joker wants to crawl atop the broken remains of the Collector vessel and take a picture. Exactly.
But the last four hours of waiting while Shepard clears and kills the remaining Collectors? Of watching as the Collector wreckage is pored over? Of finding no survivors at all? All that while coming off an adrenaline high has Joker climbing the walls.
He's ignored four calls from TIM, and for that reason alone is grateful Miranda's gone to help Shepard on the ground. Otherwise he might have to fucking answer.
He's definitely not playing Galaga to pass the time, and it definitely doesn't startle him when Shepard opens the comms.
"Joker, you copy?"
"I'm here, Commander."
"Nice flying," she says, grin audible in her voice, even under the exhaustion.
"The best," Joker answers, because he's an idiot who can't just say thank you.
The crew's head cams show Shepard and her ground squad, finally done excavating bodies, no more than specks amid the wreckage. Three Alliance dreadnaughts could land wingtip to wingtip within the body of the Collector ship and still have room to fuel.
Shepard stands helmet-free, lines of dirt decorating her face like war paint. The lines of her posture are colored with fatigue, but her eyes shine bright with victory.
"EDI says there's no more signs of life in this mess, you can sound the all-clear."
A man, one of the colonists, turns to face Shepard. His face is mottled with rage. "You killed them. Half the colony was in there! Ethan and Sam and Lilith! How could you fire on them?"
"I did what I could," Shepard says. "I'm sorry we lost those we did." It's not quite doubt that shadows her eyes, but something similar.
"It was the correct call, Shepard," Garrus says. The Turian is even filthier than Shepard.
"It was," a voice from behind agrees, and even before Shepard's camera swings his way, Joker knows who it is. Kaidan.
The colonist turns narrowed eyes towards Alenko. "All the good people we lost and you get left behind? Figures. Screw this, I'm done with you Alliance types."
"Shepard," Kaidan says, "it was good to see you again." He moves towards her like they might embrace, though they don't. "Unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the colony, pending official Alliance investigation."
All the brightness fades from Shepard's face. "What?"
"Residents and Alliance personnel only, I'm afraid." They just shot down a Collector ship, and Kaidan fucking Alenko is really trying to convince Shepard that she needs to go?
"We need that information, Kaidan. We're bringing the fight to the Collectors, and we need all the recon we can get."
Kaidan frowns, and his eyes settle on the Cerberus crest decorating Shepard's chestplate. "So long as you're with Cerberus, my hands are tied."
"What does my affiliation-"
Kaidan cuts her off. "As far as the Alliance is concerned, Cerberus is a terrorist organization, likely responsible for the Collector attacks."
"A Cerberus ship just destroyed that Collector ship!" Shepard's gauntlets clench so tight Joker wonders if they'll cut marks into her hands.
"We both know what Cerberus is capable of!" Kaidan steps closer to the Commander. "You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me."
"The Reapers-" Shepard begins.
"Cerberus is using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you!"
It's not until that moment that Joker realizes that Kaidan has bought the Alliance party line wholesale. There are no Reapers; Shepard is either wrong or crazy.
"I could use someone like you on my crew, Kaidan. Just like old times. We're going to bring these bastards down."
"I'm a Marine, Shepard." Like that means something. Alenko's halfway back to the forbidden wreckage before he looks back. "Goodbye, Commander, and be careful."