A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 27: Miz Goes To Wal Mart
Once everyone was seatbelted in, Punk put "Wal Mart" into the GPS and they hit the road. As luck would have it, the nearest Wal Mart was five miles, and it was in the direction they'd planned to head, anyway. "Maybe we should make a list of what we need from Wal Mart," Miz said.
"Good idea," Christian said. "So what do we need?"
"Tanner," Orton said immediately.
"What?" Miz said. "Tanner? Why do we need tanner?"
Orton shrugged. "I haven't had tanner in months, and it makes me happy. I don't bite people when I'm happy."
"Okay then," Miz muttered. "Tanner."
"Maybe you'd better write this down, Undertaker," JJ suggested.
"My handwriting's terrible," Miz said. "Even I can't read it."
"Then I'll write it down," JJ said. "Someone give me some paper and a pen."
"Here," Matt said, handing a piece of paper and a pen to Miz, who passed it to JJ.
"Thanks," JJ said. "Tanner for Beth. What else?"
"Punk wants Pepsi, and Christian wants root beer," Miz said.
"Pepsi for Hornswoggle and root beer for Rey," JJ said as he wrote something down. "Anything else?"
"Snacks," Miz said. "And I'd still like a map, even though we have a GPS."
"Can't be too trusting of technology these days," Christian agreed. "After all, look where it's gotten us."
"Yeah," Miz said.
"I'm the Eastern bunny!" Mark said.
"Um, don't you mean the Easter bunny?" Matt asked.
Mark turned to look at Matt. "Don't be silly. Does it look like Easter out there to you?"
"No?" Matt said, blinking.
"Right, and the Easter bunny only shows up at Easter. I'm his east coast cousin, the Eastern bunny. I'm cooler than the Western bunny, no matter what that California hopper says."
"Okay then," Matt said, glancing at Punk, who shrugged. He looked back at Mark and smiled. "Is it crazy in here, or is it just you?"
"I think it's all of us," Mark said seriously. "Why do you ask?"
"Just checking," Matt said.
"We're here," Punk said, as he pulled into Wal Mart's parking lot.
"Okay," Miz said. "I don't want anyone to get lost. Matt, you and Mark stay with Punk. Orton's with me, and Christian, and you JJ stay together. We'll meet at the checkout lines in about twenty minutes."
"Got it," Christian said.
They piled out of the SUV, and Punk glared at Miz before chasing after his charges, who were already on their way into the store. "I don't know what he's so angry about," Miz muttered. "I've got the one that bites."
The Viper yawned. "I don't feel like biting anyone right now," he said. "But Mark's probably going to hop through the whole store and if Matt gets too close to the candy aisle, Punk's going to be dealing with Jeff."
"Good point," Miz said. "Maybe we ought to help Punk keep an eye on them."
"I might RKO Matt," said Randy. "Are you willing to risk it?"
"Maybe," Miz said. "Do you think you're going to RKO Matt?"
Randy shrugged. "Depends on how annoyed I get."
"Are you annoyed right now?"
"Not too much."
"Then I'll risk it," Miz said. "Come on."
Randy shrugged and followed Miz into Wal Mart. They caught up with Punk, Mark and Matt in the pet department. "Hey," Punk said.
"Hey," Miz said back. "Um, why are you in the pet department?"
Punk indicated Matt, who had his nose pressed against one of the fish tanks. "When we walked in, he saw all the sugar and went Jeff on me. He wanted to see the fish, so I said I'd bring him."
"Where's Mark?"
"Getting the Pepsi. Why?"
"You let him go by himself?" Miz asked.
"It was that or drag a screaming Jeff through the store," Punk said, "and I'm not doing that again."
"Again?" Miz echoed.
"We had this field trip a couple months ago," said Punk with a shudder. "Don't make me relive it. It was awful."
"Oh?" Miz asked, turning to Randy.
"I thought it was a fun trip," the Viper said.
"You were sedated and had six hospital staff members as your buddy. I had a sugared up version of Jeff," Punk said.
Miz glanced past Punk to Matt. "Um, he's leaving nose prints on the glass."
"Small price to pay," Punk muttered.
"Can I have a fishy? Pleeease?" Matt asked.
"Not right now," Miz said. "Where would we keep it?"
"I'll hold it in my lap!" Matt said.
"What about the cat, though?" Punk asked.
Matt pouted. "It's your stupid cat! It tried to bite me! I want a fish!"
"Hey, look who we found," Christian said, as he and JJ found the others. They were followed by Mark, who was pushing a shopping cart full of Pepsi, root beer, potato chips and tanner. "He was wandering around the drink aisle by himself."
"I've got Jeff," Punk said, indicating Matt, who was trying to capture a fish with his bare hands. "Jeff! No! Knock that off!"
Matt pouted. "But I just want a small fish! I'll take care of it, I promise!"
"That's what you said the last time, and what happened?" Punk asked.
"What did happen?" Miz asked Christian.
"I don't know," Christian said with a frown. "I don't think anything did."
Matt pouted. "My fish ran away. But that won't happen this time, I promise!"
"It ran away?" Miz asked Punk, who shrugged.
"I'll feed it and hug it and name it Betsy! Please?"
Miz sighed. "How much harm can he do with a betta?"
"Are you serious?" Punk asked.
"Yeah. Hey, Jeff, you can have a fish, but only if you pick one of the ones on that shelf over there, okay?"
"Yay!" Matt said, rushing to the shelf to stare at the bettas. "Which color can I get?"
"It doesn't matter to me," Miz said. "You pick. But you're going to have to take care of it."
Matt bit his lip and stared at the fish on the shelf before quietly selecting a blue one. "Can I name it Betsy?"
"Sure, but it's a boy," Miz said.
"I don't care. His name is Betsy!" Matt said.
"Betsy it is," Miz said. "Put him in the cart and let's go."