She tried to steady her heart beat, inhale, exhale, she kept telling herself as she walked over to the couch. Now what?, she thought, what do I do now? I mean there's Nick and maybe Sam was right, maybe there is something there. Why didn't I come home? I could of come home, and just talked to him, we could of gotten on some sort of stable ground, finally get on the same page, okay maybe not the same page but at least the same book. But then again why would I come back, I mean uproot his life, my life and everyone else's just to leave again; that's not fair to Sam or myself. Just thinking about leaving Sam again breaks my heart, I had a hard enough time leaving the last time. But I know it would be worth it, I mean of course I want to be with him, he's Sam, Sam Swarek. And I have been in-love with him since my first week on the job. But it's just such a battle with him, it's never easy and I know it never will be, why can't it be as easy as it is with Nick. He's so open and vulnerable, unlike Sam who's guarded. Her thoughts paused for a moment as she realized she had just compared Nick and Sam, like they were two people she wanted to be with, and she was trying to pick which one she wanted to be with.

She reached down and grabbed her cell phone from the coffee table, dialing the number she put the phone up to her ear and waiting for an answer. "Hello?" She heard on the other end, "Heey Trac, it's me look I know it's late but I uhh," she sniffed as she quickly wiped a tear from her check, "I could really use my best friend right now.." More tears fell, "Give me 15 minutes and I'll be there."

True to her word Traci was knocking on her door, fifteen minutes later. As Andy walked over to the door, she tried to stop crying but it was no use, "Hi," she said meekly, "Andy, what happened?" She asked, as they walked over to the couch and settled, "well, uhh Sam asked me if we could go somewhere and talk so you know ,I of course suggested here, anyways I grabbed us some beers and he asked me why I never came home, and uhh.." She trailed off, trying to catch her breath as she paused, there was a few moments of silence before she continued "When he asked me why I never came back I was so confused, because I mean I was home, I mean I was standing right in front of him but then I started to think well maybe he knows that Blackstone gave us a weekend off and instead of coming home, we went on this bike trip up in Niagara and uhh.." She half expected Traci to jump in and ask her the same question Sam did; why didn't she come home? She knew Traci was grieving and Sam wanted to be with her, she could of come home to support the people she loved the most; so why didn't she come back? But Traci didn't, she just pulled Andy into a hug, "It's going to be okay," was all she said.

"No, I really don't think it is, because he left, he told me that he loved me and that he didn't think that was enough for me and then he left. Where do I go with that?" Andy broke down, she let the tears fall freely, "Well, sweetheart, I think you need to ask yourself that same question; is it enough for you?" Traci asked. "What do you mean?" Andy said, trying to steady her breathing, "What I mean is, is Sam's love enough for you? Are you willing to let go of all the baggage from the past and just love him? Are you ready to accept all his flaws and just let him love you, are you willing to just love one another? Are you ready to accept the fact that he's not the most open person in the world, and with time allow him to open up all of himself to you without demanding information? " Traci let her words, fill the room and give Andy sometime to absorb them, "Because I saw him over the last 6 months and he hasn't been the same, yes he was with Marlo but he was never the way her that he was with you. He never loved her Andy, he never stopped loving you, and I think that you're fighting this because deep down somewhere you feel guilty because while Sam was home with Marlo, you were under with Nick; developing feelings, Andy? Do you have feelings for Nick?"

It was a big question, she had been asked; do you have feelings for Nick? Her mind was spinning, "How could you ask me that?" Turning fully to face her best friend, "I could ask you that because instead of running after Sam and telling him that you love him, and that his love is enough, you let him walk away, you didn't fight for him, and instead you called me... Andy, listen remember when Dex came into the station and found out I had been cheating on him with Jerry, then he punched Jerry in the face and left?" She said placing her hands on Andy's, "In that moment, as hectic and crazy as it was I had to make a choice, Dex or Jerry; the right thing to do and the one my heart wanted. And well as you know I chose my heart, I went to be by Jerry's side and let Dex walk away. You had one of those moments today and in a way you chose Nick." Andy pulled back and ran her fingers through her hair, "It's okay if you did but you need to talk to both of them and let them know what you're feeling." She knew Traci was right but she really didn't know who she had feelings for.

"But I uhhh, I don't know who I want to be with." Traci gave her this confused look because she had always been the do the right thing but when Jerry came along she learned to follow her heart. "I know what you're going to say but it's really not that easy, I need to think about my heart now and in the long run, but I have to think about who's not going to break my heart in the next six months when something goes wrong? Or leave me at the alter in Vegas then leaves to go over seas to Afghanistan. " Andy immediately covered her mouth after she spoke, how could she say those things? As true as they were.

"Do you see what you just did there? You used their past mistakes and choices against them, whoever you chose, if you chose one of them, it needs to be someone you're willing to have a fresh start with, new beginnings. Someone who you can make dinner reservation for, they can pick you up when you're in doubt with yourself, and who's willing to start a new chapter with you." Andy just sat there, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, collecting her thoughts. " I just I want... I want things to be easy, I just want to love him with my whole heart, and him love me, for us to be on the same page for the first time in years, I want him to open up to me like he's never done with anyone before, I want to be with Sam not Nick."

In that moment it felt like a weight had been lifted off Andy's chest, "You need to talk to Sam, you need to basically tell him everything you told me and be ready for him not to be ready for this right away, he was really hurt after you left, you both need to be ready for this, again. Just keep it simple, take it slow, and just love each other."

Traci left shortly after that, Andy thought about calling Sam, leaving a message but then she thought why the hell would she tell him how she felt over a voice mail? Walking into her bedroom, she immediately headed for her closet, she grabbed some yoga pants, and a knit cardigan. Stripping herself of her other clothes, leaving her tank top on, throwing her cardigan on and slips into her pants.

Sam didn't live far, but he did live far enough that she had enough time to sort out some kind of speech prepared on her walk over. She walked up the steps toward his front door like she had the night of the blackout, and she knocked. Just standing at his doorstep made her feel so vulnerable, like he had all the power in that moment, he could slam the door in her face, or let her in. She waited outside his door, she saw the hall light turn on, as he opened the door. There they were standing there face to face. "Hi.. again" she says awkwardly, "Uhh, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here because I wanted, I mean needed to tell you something, I uhh, I thought about what you said you know about you loving me and that not being enough for me..." She paused, as a few tears escaped from her eyes, "Well it is. And I know me not coming home, was selfish but I did it for you just as much as I did it for me, I knew if I came home I wouldn't be able to leave," She shook her head as she spoke, and he just looked at her. "I wouldn't be able to leave us again, so I didn't come home, I stayed under, but I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry and that I love you, I love you Sam Swarek and I'm so sorry I hurt you." As she let the last of her words leave her lips, she turned around and began walking away; time and space, give him time, she thought.

Walking away from Sam Swarek was one of the hardest things to do, it's like there's a force pulling them together, and it takes all your will power to walk away.

He knew he had a window of opportunity here, he had two options, to let her walk away again or to run after her. And just like that he was running down the steps, on the sidewalk getting closer to her "Andy, wait." He said, placing a hand on her shoulder, thunder in the background. "I can't let you walk away again, I won't. I'm sorry, you not coming home it's okay." He told her, "It's not Sam, it can't be. I should of come back, and after this whole Nick thing, it's too much to forgive," She stopped as he cupped her face with his hands, "Well that's too bad, because I just did." She lowers her head, "You can't." Guiding her head so their eyes could meet again, "I just did, so you're just going to have to deal with it, I know I hurt you the last time were but,"

"I love you" She says cutting him off completely. "I love you too, Andy McNally."