A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 28: Miz Avoids Trouble
"But I want to hold Betsy," Matt said, pouting.
"Fine," Miz said. "But don't drop the cup or you're going to kill him."
"Yay!" Matt said, hugging the cup to his chest.
Punk rolled his eyes. "We don't have enough to worry about. You had to let him get a fish."
"Hey," Miz said, "if it makes him happy…"
"Why not just buy him a puppy?" Punk asked.
"I'm getting a puppy?" Matt said.
"No," Punk told him. "A puppy would be too much for you. Be glad you're getting a fish."
Matt pouted. "But I want a puppy."
Miz said, "You can get Betsy or you can put him back. Those are your choices, Jeff."
Matt hugged the cup holding the fish so hard that the lid threatened to pop off. "You're not taking Betsy away from me!" he said.
"Hey, be careful," Miz said. "You're going to hurt Betsy. If you can't be careful, you're going to have to put the fish in the cart."
"I'll be careful!" Matt said, bouncing.
"Yeah," Punk muttered, "this is going to end well for that poor fish."
"Did you get my tanner?" Randy asked Mark.
"Yep!" Mark pointed at the cart. "I got extra bronze!"
"Good," Randy said, staring into the cart thoughtfully. "I might not hurt anyone today."
"You'll have to put it on later," Miz said. "And not in the car. That stuff stains like crazy." He frowned. "Maybe we should buy some towels so that Randy doesn't stain the seats."
"Ha ha!" Matt said. "Randy's going to stain the seats, but not me, 'cause I'm potty trained!"
"We'll see how potty trained you are when I RKO you," Randy said.
"Randy, don't threaten Jeff," Miz said.
"Yeah, or Betsy will bite you!" Matt said, his eyes wide. "And eat your hands off! I'm going to train him to be an attack fish, and he's going to attack you, Randy!"
"Well, that will take a while," Randy said, "and I can have him eaten in six seconds flat. So you tell me who wins in that match, Jeff."
Matt's eyes got huge and he let out a sniffle. "Oh no," Punk moaned.
"You… you're going to… to eat my fish?" Matt asked, tears in his eyes.
"Maybe," Randy said. "If I can find some tartar sauce to go with him."
"Nooo!" Matt screamed, flinging himself at Punk. "Don't let Randy eat Besty!"
"It's okay," Punk said, patting Matt's back and glaring at Randy.
"I could RKO you," the Viper said conversationally.
"And I could smite you," Punk said back. "Miz, you want to control Orton?"
Miz sighed and pulled Randy aside. "Did you have to do that?" he asked.
"Do what?" Randy said.
"Upset Jeff. He was doing just fine until you threatened to eat his fish."
"Well, he shouldn't have threatened to sic his fish on me, should he?"
Miz shook his head. "He's just a kid, Randy. He has no idea what he's saying. But you're an adult and you know better."
"That doesn't mean I'm not going to say what I'm thinking," Randy said.
"Could you try to be nicer while he's Jeff, at least?"
"Why?"
Miz gave Randy a frustrated look. "Because!" he said.
"Well, not if you're not going to give me a better reason than that, no."
Miz took a deep breath. "Because it will make everyone's life easier if you're not tormenting him. Is that better?"
"Yes," Orton said. "See? Was that so hard?"
"It was a pain," Miz said. "But please, be nice to Jeff. Maybe you could go apologize? We're never going to get out of here if you don't."
"Fine," Randy said with a sigh. He walked back to where Punk was trying to comfort Matt. He was nearly calm, down to just sniffles when Randy walked up. "Hey, Jeff," he began.
"Argh! No!" Matt screamed, clinging to Punk so hard that he nearly toppled the both of them.
"Ack!" Punk said. "Miz, help!"
"I'm just trying to apologize," Randy said. "I'm not going to eat your fish, okay? I'm sorry I said that."
"You are?" Matt asked, sniffling.
"Yes," Randy said.
"And you're not just saying that so I'll let my guard down and you can steal Betsy and eat him?"
"Heh," Randy said. "That sounds like something I'd do, all right, but no. I really mean it."
"Yay!" Matt said. He let go of Punk and launched himself at the Viper. He hit Randy full force and they tumbled to the floor.
"Ow," Randy muttered. "Can I bite him now?" he asked Miz.
"No." Miz frowned. "Hey, where's Betsy?" he asked Punk.
Punk said, "In the cart." He turned. "Uh, where's the cart?"
"Where are Mark, Christian and JJ?" Miz asked.
"Uh oh," Punk said. "That can't be good, can it?" He was looking down the aisle to where a bunch of security people were gathering.
"No," Miz sighed, "it can't."
"Can you two idiots get Jeff off me?" Randy asked. "I'm about to suffocate."
Miz and Punk helped first Matt then Randy up. "Hey, maybe you'd better keep an eye on these two," Miz said, "and I'll go see what all the commotion's about?"
"As fun as that sounds," Punk said, "I don't think we should be separated at this point. What if you can't come back for us?"
"You've got the keys," Miz pointed out.
Punk shrugged. "Yeah, but JJ is the one who knows who we're looking for, and what if you need us? I do have some serious connections upstairs, you know."
"Yeah," Miz sighed. "I know. Okay, come on. But everyone be cool. We don't know that that has anything to do with Christian, Mark and JJ."
"What else could it be?" Punk asked. "You've got crazy people loose in Wal Mart, and you think the boatload of security is gathering for some other reason?"
"I hope they are," Miz said.