A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

A/N: Also? You guys ROCK! I love writing this story, but the reviews totally make my day. I'm so glad my weird little story has found an audience.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 30: Miz Deals With A Crisis Of Faith

It didn't take JJ and Christian long to return with a new case of Pepsi, root beer and potato chips. By then, Mark had as much of the mess cleaned up as he could get without a mop and a broom. He looked to Punk, who nodded. The store manager had arrived once security had dispersed, and he was glaring disapprovingly at Mark. "Is he with you?" he finally asked Punk.

"Nope," Punk said innocently. "Never seen him before today."

"Punk!" Miz said.

Punk turned to Miz. "Think about it," he said, so low that the manager couldn't hear. "If we say he's with us, they aren't going to let us buy the Pepsi."

Miz muttered, "That's so not cool." He turned to the manager. "He's with me. I'm so sorry. He's normally on medication, but he ran out. We were here to pick up more."

"I want him out of my store," the manager said, eyeing Miz. "And I don't want him to ever come back."

"He won't, I swear," Miz said. "Come on, Mark."

"Can I go, too?" Matt asked.

"Sure. We have to buy your fish first."

"Yay! Betsy!" Matt held the cup up, then grabbed Mark's hand. "See Betsy?"

The manager shot them another dirty look, and Miz added, "They both need medication."

"Whatever. Just get out of my store."

"Now we can add being kicked out of Wal Mart to the list," Punk muttered. He led them through the store to the checkouts, where he paid for the fish and the snacks. "Thank dad that's done."

Miz chuckled. "It was sort of fun, though."

"No it wasn't!" Punk said. "I hate taking Jeff to the store. He always wants something."

"You wanted Pepsi," Miz pointed out.

"That's different! It's a sacred part of my religion. Jeff wanted a stupid fish."

"Betsy is not stupid!" Matt said, pouting.

"Just be glad he settled on a fish and not something more… sweet," Miz said.

Punk sighed. "You're right." He turned to look at Mark. "No more bulldozers in the store. Ever. You're lucky they didn't arrest you."

"They can't arrest me," Mark said with a smile. "I'm Jesus."

Punk stopped and glared at Mark. "You are not Jesus! I'm Jesus!"

"We can both be Jesus," Mark said.

"No we can't!"

"I like pouring coke on people," Mark said.

"Argh!" Punk yelled. "It's Pepsi, you blasphemer! You… Don't… I can't even…" He turned to Miz. "You know what? You deal with him!" And with that, he stormed off to the SUV.

"Wait!" Mark called after him. "My fellow Jesus, wait!"

Randy looked thoughtful. "Do you want me to try RKOing him to see if he'll stop?"

"Mark?" Miz asked.

"I meant Punk," said Randy with a shrug, "but okay, I guess I could try RKOing Mark."

Miz shook his head. "We shouldn't have to resort to violence to solve this."

"Why not? It's fun."

"Jesus!" Matt said, flinging his arms around Mark. Miz had a moment where he couldn't find the fish and his heart nearly stopped, but then he saw that JJ had it.

"Jesus doesn't like you, Jeff," said Mark seriously. "You have sticky hands."

"Nooo!" Matt wailed.

Miz turned to Mark. "Be nice, or he'll be Matthew again."

Mark's eyes got wide. "Uh, Jesus doesn't like you because he LOVES you. That's what I meant to say." He frowned at Miz. "Better?"

"Much," Miz agreed.

"This Jesus thing is harder than it looks," Mark said. "I don't want to be Jesus anymore. I'll leave it to Punk."

"Yay!" Matt said, clinging to Mark. "But you still have to love me 'cause I'm Jeff and I'm cute!" He beamed at Mark, who looked to Miz for confirmation of this fact. Miz sighed.

"Hey, Jeff," he said, "where's Betsy?"

"Betsy?" Matt asked, looking around. "Oh no! He ran away!"

JJ held up the cup. "He's right here, Dr- Err, little guy."

"Yay!" Matt grabbed the cup, almost causing JJ to drop it. "Betsy, you naughty fishy! You can't run away from me 'cause I'm going to teach you to be an attack fish, and then you can bite people, but not Randy, 'cause he won't like it and he said if you bite him, he'll bite you back as long as there's arter sauce."

"Tartar," Miz corrected, shooting a look at Randy.

"Tartar," Matt repeated carefully. "Like the yucky stuff that gets on your teeth when you don't brush. Ew! Randy doesn't brush his teeth and he makes sauce from the yucky gunk!"

Randy said, "Are you sure I can't RKO him?"

"Hey," Miz said, "he's still a hundred times better than Godzilla."

"That depends on what it is Godzilla's doing," Christian said. "If he's stomping on your spare pair of glasses, for instance, he's bad. But if he's keeping a certain Viper from trying to bite people…" He glared at a random parked car. "Then I'll take Godzilla."

"I'm over here, Christian," Randy said, amusement in his tone. "And though Godzilla may be distracting, I always get back to who I intended to bite eventually. That being said, I do believe I owe all of you a bite or three."

"What?" Miz said with a frown. "No. You're not biting anyone today."

"You know, if you don't let me bite someone soon, I'm going to stop letting you be in control of my anger management," Randy said.

"Duly noted," Miz said. "Now get in the car so we can find you someone that deserves to be bit."

"That's a much better goal than whatever we came to Wal Mart for," the Viper agreed.