A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 31: Miz Charts A Course

"Where to now?" Punk asked, when they were back at the SUV. He paused to glare at Mark. "And he'd better not be saying he's Jesus still, or I'm leaving him here."

"No, no," Mark said. "There's only one Jesus in this car, and that's you, Punk."

"Well, it's about time someone said it," Punk muttered. He turned to glare at Matt, who shrank back into his seat and held Betsy close. "Where to, Miz?"

Miz said, "Florida."

"Could you be a little more specific?" Punk said. "It's kind of a big state."

"Miami," Miz said. "Is that specific enough, or do you need more?"

"I assume they're going to be at the same arena they're always at," Punk said. "Do you think we have time to make it?"

"Maybe," Miz said. "We're going to have to drive like crazy, though. No more stops."

"Not even to pee?" Matt asked, his eyes huge.

"Well," Punk said, eyeing Matt. "Okay, we can stop for that, and maybe for food later, when the snacks run out, but other than that, no stopping! Don't even ask me to stop and see the world's biggest ball of yarn or whatever."

"But what if Betsy wants to see it?" Matt said.

"Then Betsy should buy us airline tickets so we don't miss Smackdown," Punk said.

Matt stared at the fish for a long moment. "Betsy says he's secretly a millionaire fish and he will pay for our plane tickets, but only if you're nice to him."

"So I guess that's out, then," Miz said, smirking at Punk. "Because Punk being nice to Betsy is not going to happen."

"Shut up," Punk said. "I could be nice if I wanted to."

"I stand by my original statement," Miz said.

Punk glared, then started the SUV. "Like the fish has money for plane tickets, anyway. I bet he doesn't. I'm Jesus; I know these things."

"He does so have money!" Matt said.

"If he had money, then why did we have to buy him?" Punk asked. "Why didn't he just buy himself?"

Matt stared at Punk. "Um, because he's a fish, duh! He needs someone to carry him around and do his bidding! Also, what part of secret millionaire didn't you understand?"

"I'll be honest," Punk said. "It was the millionaire part."

"Whatever the reason," Miz said, "Betsy isn't buying us plane tickets, so we have to drive. Does the actual reason why really matter?"

"I'm trying to get to the bottom of a mystery," Punk said.

"What mystery?" Miz said. "It's a fish, Punk. Fish don't talk."

"Oh, but the cat and your silly marshmallows do?" Matt said.

Miz sighed. "Yes. Don't ask me why, but they do."

Mark said, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to get a drink. Does anyone want one?"

Miz frowned, glancing at Punk, who shrugged. "Sure," Miz said. "We could probably all use something."

"I'm a can opener!" Mark announced as he popped the top on a soda.

"Yeah, that makes sense," Miz said, before turning back to the argument between Punk and Matt.

"When Betsy becomes an attack fish," Matt was saying, "I'm going to have him bite your feet off!"

"They'll just grow back," Punk said with a shrug. "So it's kind of pointless, isn't it?"

"But it'll hurt."

"Maybe so…" Mark handed Miz a can of Pepsi. "Hey, can I have that?" Punk asked.

"Sure," Miz said, handing it over. "What do you want to drink, Jeff? Pepsi or root beer?"

"Root beer!"

Miz shrugged and handed over the can of root beer that Mark passed him. He took a Pepsi from Mark for himself. "How long is it going to take to get to Miami, do you think?"

Punk glanced at the GPS. "Looks like twenty two hours if we drive straight through. With breaks, two days, easy."

Miz nodded. "I guess that will have to be good enough. What day is it again?"

"Friday," Christian supplied.

"And they're going to be in Miami on Tuesday, right?" Miz asked.

"That's what the website said," JJ said.

"So we've got four days to make a twenty plus hour drive. I guess we don't have to rush that much, after all."

"So we can stop and see the ball of yarn?" Matt asked. "Betsy got excited when you mentioned it."

Miz said, "Why don't we play it by ear? The sooner we get to Miami, the better. We still have to find somewhere to lie low, and if we can find the superstars at their hotel instead of the arena, we may be better off. Some of them will probably get in early…"

"Betsy says he's willing to skip going to see the ball of yarn if we can go to Seaworld," Matt said. "His cousin works the Shamu show there."

"That's in Orlando," Punk said. "We're going to Miami, Jeff."

"But it's his cousin, Punk!"

"First of all," Punk said, "any cousin of Betsy's that's working the Shamu show is probably a Shamu snack because Betsy is a betta and the whales in the Shamu show are… well, whales. And secondly…"

"Nuh uh!" Matt said.

Punk sighed. "Miz? Help?"

"We'll see about Seaworld."

"Yay!" Matt said.

Punk glared. "That wasn't the kind of help I was looking for."

"Next time, be more specific," Miz said. "Besides, it's on the way. What could it hurt to stop?"

Punk gave Matt a pointed look before saying to Miz, "Have you forgotten what happened at Wal Mart?"

"I guess I did," Miz said. "But come on, that was a one time thing."

"And Denny's?" Punk added.

"Twice in a lifetime?" Miz said.

"Every meal we've ever had together at the hospital?"

"Okay, so it's a terrible idea!" Miz said. "At least it'll make Jeff happy."

"If he's still Jeff."

Miz took a sip of his Pepsi. "It's worth considering, anyway," he said.