Chapter 19: Shaundi's Simulation

Darkness faded. Shaundi quickly opened her eyes and looked down. Instead of her blazer, she was now wearing her old clothes. Her hair was pulled back into her usual ponytail. Shaundi creased her brow in confusion and glanced around. She was no longer at The White House, but in an office. The floors were lined with red carpet. The walls had circular windows from an airplane. The hum of a jet engine filled her ears. It'd been five years, but Shaundi hadn't forgotten. She was back in Philippe Loren's private jet. The jet where her friend, Johnny Gat, had sacrificed himself to save her.

"This isn't real," said Shaundi. "What the fuck is going on?" She took a step back and bumped into a metal chair. She turned around. Her eyes widened. A man's limp body was plopped in the seat. "Johnny?"

Shaundi ran around the chair and knelt in front of him. He had a knife sticking out of his chest. His shirt and trademark leather jacket were stained with blood. She reached up to touch his face. Her fingers grazed his chiseled cheek. He felt so real.

"Johnny." Shaundi felt tears well up in her eyes. "I know this isn't real, that you're not really here, but...I'm sorry. I let you down...I let us all down. We never should of ran. We should've stayed and fought, but we couldn't because...we couldn't because of me."

Shaundi shook her head at the memory of leaving him behind. A tear fell down her cheek. "I know people say it wasn't my fault, but if the Boss didn't have to protect me you would be standing here right now." Shaundi bowed her head. "I'm so sorry, Johnny."

"Shaundi?"

Shaundi cocked her ear toward a familiar voice and shot up. What she saw made her forget to breath. "Ethan?" she asked.

Ethan stepped forward. "Where are we?"

As Ethan walked closer, Shaundi noticed his eyes. They weren't their usual ghostly gray. There were now a deep, fantastic ocean blue.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

Shaundi didn't realize her mouth was agape, or that she had a puzzled stare. She shook her head. "Wait, you can see me?"

Ethan nodded. He smiled and took her hand. "You really are beautiful. Just like I knew you'd be." He pulled her toward him and placed a kiss on her lips.

Shaundi let out a surprised squeak when their lips met. His kiss felt warm and wet, just like the real thing. She leaned into him for a moment until the reality of where she was settled in again. She pushed Ethan back. "This isn't real. You're not really here."

"Shaundi, I know you've secretly wanted this, for me to be able to see you. Physically see you."

"But, the real you can't see me." Shaundi looked away from him. Her bottom lip started to quiver. "You're not really him...but I wish you were."

Ethan placed a hand on her cheek and forced her to look deep into his eyes. He wiped a tear away before it fell. "Let's forget reality for a moment and take pleasure in this dream, for however long it lasts."

Shaundi swallowed hard. "I love you... so much." She said. "I want so bad to tell you that for real."

"You will." Ethan leaned close to kiss her again. Shaundi closed her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. Just before their lips met, a rustling cut them short. Ethan looked over Shaundi's shoulder. "Who's that?"

Shaundi turned around to see Johnny standing with a knife in his hand. "Johnny?" she asked. "What're you doing?"

Johnny didn't answer. He ran toward her and pushed her aside before tackling Ethan to the ground. Ethan knocked the knife out of Johnny's hand. It fell by Shaundi's feet. Ethan tried to fight Johnny off, but Johnny started landing punches to his face.

"Johnny, stop!" Shaundi begged.

Johnny didn't listen and continued to pummel Ethan's face. Shaundi screamed for him to stop again and ran to pull Johnny off. He knocked her away with incredible force. He placed his hands on either side of Ethan's head and pressed his thumbs into Ethan's eyes. Ethan screamed bloody murder. Johnny's thumbs burrowed into Ethan's eye sockets.

"NOOO!" screamed Shaundi, tears streaming down her face.

Ethan shrieked in pain. Johnny rammed his thumbs deeper into Ethan's head until the painful cries stopped. He stepped away from Ethan's dead body and turned to Shaundi. She stared at Ethan and her heart broke. Even though she knew what she saw wasn't real, it still filled her with sadness. Johnny took a step toward her and she picked up the knife.

"I'm sorry, Johnny." She told him with regret just before he attacked her. She shoved the knife into his stomach as he approached and he fell to the ground. Shaundi dropped to her knees. She looked at Johnny then at Ethan. She bowed her head. "I'm sorry to both of you."

She wept softly until a hand touched her shoulder. She looked up. It was The Boss.

"It wasn't your fault," he told her softly.

"We left Johnny to die." Shaundi spouted. "And, I couldn't protect the man I love."

"There was nothing you could've done to stop what happened." The Boss' voice remained sincere. "And, Johnny didn't save our lives so we could feel sorry for ourselves."

Zinyak's voice filled the room. "I hate to interrupt this touching moment. But, we haven't even got to the best part of this plane ride."

Shaundi stood up. A white rectangle appeared below her feet. "Oh, fuck me" she said before falling into it.

The next thing she knew, she was stuck inside a fun, dreadlocked version of her old self, forced to relive her ex-boyfriend, Veteran Child, holding her hostage. She was helpless as The Boss saved her, like he did so many years ago.

"You're remarkably calm right now," said The Boss after defeating Veteran Child.

"Hey, sometimes your exes try to kill you, what can you do you know?" asked Fun Shaundi. She leaned close to The Boss. "You wanna party?"

Fun Shaundi shook her head as the new, mature Shaundi started to fight her way out. "No, this isn't me."

"Shaundi, you okay?" asked The Boss.

Shaundi climbed out of her old body and turned around. "Get out." she ordered.

"What's her problem?" asked Fun Shaundi.

"My problem?" Shaundi gestured to her old self. "My problem is that I used to be you."

"This isn't a born again thing is it?" asked Fun Shaundi.

The Boss stepped forward. "No, she's future you."

"Okay, so what happens to me."

Shaundi furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

The Boss cut in. "Look, Shaundi, I think we should-"

Shaundi pushed him aside. "No, no. I wanna hear what I have to say to myself." She turned to Fun Shaundi. "What do you mean 'what happens to me?'"

"Well, apparently I became a total frigid bitch," said Fun Shaundi. "So, I just wanna know what's up?"

"Oh, so you mean I stopped sitting around smoking drugs from a broken light bulb all day?"

"Yeah, you're lame now."

The Boss cut in again. "Hey, party Shaundi, you don't want to go there."

"I'm just saying, I used to have fun," said Fun Shaundi.

"I used to be useless," said Shaundi. "The most memorable thing you ever did was get captured by your smoked out ex."

"That is not true."

"Oh, and fucking half of Stilwater. Go Team!" Shaundi paused and shook her head. "Wait, what the hell am I doing?"

"You're arguing with yourself," said The Boss. "You ready to go? Or, do you want to put yourself down some more?"

"What hell is going on?" asked Shaundi.

The Boss sighed. "Zinyak kidnapped us and put us in a simulation of our worst nightmares."

"I'm her worst nightmare?" asked Fun Shaundi.

"Sorry," shrugged The Boss.

Shaundi stepped forward. "Are the others okay? Is Ethan with you? Is he alright?"

"Who's Ethan?" asked Fun Shaundi.

"He's your boyfriend," informed The Boss.

"Well, at least I'm still getting laid." Fun Shaundi leaned close to The Boss. "I am still getting laid right?"

"I hate me," said Shaundi under her breath.

"Yeah, you are." The Boss gave Fun Shaundi a thumbs up. "You did go through a bit of a dry spell before you met him, but Buzz took care of that."

"Who's Buzz?"

Shaundi cut The Boss off before he could answer. "Don't even think about it. Let's get out of here." She glared at her old self and walked away, kicking Veteran Child's dead body on the way out.