Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the slightly changed plotline.

Note: If anyone's wondering about Kelso, instead of being on his way to becoming a manwhore like in canon, he's already manwhore in this story. Like I said before, Shelly is going to be a reoccurring character; he'll be jumping back and forth between her, Annette (the chick from California and if you're wondering about that, Kelso's never gonna be with Jackie so he'll never have a reason to go to California, so some things in the series are going to change majorly, but that is much later on) and Pam Macy, then with Laurie until he meets Brooke. I plan on making Brooke a main character when she shows up because I think his relationship with her really helped him mature when it comes to women, especially after Betsy was born.

Also, sorry about the wait, but the video streamer I use to look up episodes to get the plot and quotes wasn't working, so...

Warning: Implied child abuse

"That's right, one hundred bags of manure," Eric said into the phone with a false accent, "Yeah, the wife and I are redoin' the front lawn. And, uh, tell ya what, if I'm not there, just dump it all on the front porch. Bye-bye." He waited for the other person to hang up before smirking, sticking his tongue out and holding his fingers above his head to create devil horns.

"Yeah, man, Coach Jefferson is gonna freak," Hyde smirked from his usual chair.

"Yeah, well," Eric smiled, sitting on the back of the couch above Kelso, who was lying back and reading the newspaper, "He just shouldn't have given me that D."

"Oh no," Fez whimpered from the lawn chair, lowering his own newspaper, "Dick Grayson is trapped in a giant clam... Farewell sweet Dick." He pouted into his newspaper, not noticing the odd looks he received from his last line. (I couldn't really understand the name very well. At first I thought he said Dick Grayson, but then I heard the "son" as "is" and then it just got confusing, so I tried the name Dick Trace, but then I was like, nah, Dick Grayson.)

"A man being eaten by a giant clam," Hyde said, a strange expression on his face, "Now, I'm not Sigmund Froyd, but-" He stopped, making a hand gesture with a 'really?' look etched on his face.

"Eric," Kelso suddenly sat up, "The Omen's playin' at the drive-in. You know what this means for us? It's make out city."

"I... really like you as a friend, Kelso," Eric said sarcastically, "Can I bring a girl?"

"Yeah," Kelso said, not noticing his sarcasm, "Man, it's gonna be great. Horror movies turn on chicks faster than porno."

"Really?" Hyde said, giving Kelso a stupid look, "Faster than that?"

"Yeah," Kelso said quite seriously, "If only someone'd make a porno horror movie."

"Oh, then there'd be no stopping you," Eric smirked, "And who are you even gonna take, Kelso? You and Shelly aren't together anymore."

"Yeah, thanks for that, Fez," Kelso said, giving a Fez a look; he only pouted, burying his face deeper into his newspaper, "But I'm good. I can invite Pam Macy; she's gotta car. And she'd do it with anybody."

"Yeah, he's gotta point there," Eric said to Hyde, who only nodded with lightly pursed lips.

"Eric!" Red called, stomping down the stairs, "Is that kid from, uh... Not America down there?"

"Dad, it's Fez," Eric answered.

"Yeah, whatever," Red said carelessly, "The Erdmunds called and they want, they want him to-" Red cut himself off, leaning down to look directly at Fez, "Go. Home."

"Kelso," Red said, making his way up the stairs as Fez walked to the basement door, "Stop saying 'porno'."

Kelso jumped, looking around the room, "It wasn't me, Mr. Forman. Fez said it," He smiled.

Fez glared at him, "You are a bitch."

Hyde couldn't hold back his laugh as Fez slammed the door.

"So, Donna," Eric said, taking his soda and closing the fridge door, "I was thinking we should go see a movie tonight."

"Oh, cool," Donna agreed, "I'd love to see 'All the President's Men'."

"Oh," Eric stuttered, "I actually heard that wasn't very good."

"Oh," Donna muttered, a little put out, "Oh, well okay."

"Hey, uh... I was thinkin', maybe, the Omen."

"... Isn't that at the drive-in?"

"Is that at the-?" Eric said in a falsely confused voice, making a face as he pretended to think about it, "You know, I guess it is. So do you wanna go?"

"Tonight?" Donna stuttered, her face a light pink shade, "Um... yeah, sure."

"So Donna say yes, man?" Hyde asked casually from his usual chair, reading the newspaper, Eric facing him from his seat on the couch.

"Yes."

"Alright," Hyde smirked, "Me n' Jackie can go with you."

"No," Eric said immediately.

"What's your problem, Forman?" Hyde asked, making a face at him.

"You'd be like competition."

"Competition? What the hell are you talkin' about, ya moron?"

"I'd hafta keep up with you and Jackie and that would make me nervous."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, you and Jackie have done it, like, a million times already."

"We have never done it, dillhole," Hyde said, giving Eric a stupid look.

"You haven't?" Eric stuttered, obviously confused. Can you blame him? They're always mauling each other!

"No," Hyde said, irritation leaking into his tone, "She's a virgin, man, I'm tryin' to take it easy on 'er."

"Well, whatever."

"Fine, we won't come."

"Perfect."

"The Omen," Jackie said, leaning against the railing on the Forman porch beside Donna, "That's at the drive-in."

"I know, I don't know what to do," Donna answered, "I mean, I really like Eric and I'd like to have a physical relationship with him, but-"

"It's called make out, Donna," Jackie interrupted, a little annoyed at her friend's prudish choice of words, "Just say it. Make out."

"Alright, make out," Donna said, giving Jackie a look as she did, "But I don't want it to be public. I don't want it to be tacky. I don't with it be pressure... and now it's this tacky public pressure make out thing."

"I understand, everyone wants their first make out to be special," Jackie smiled, "Someplace romantic like Ireland or Disneyland."

"Disneyland?" Donna gave Jackie a look, "How did Hyde fall for you?"

Jackie gave her a nasty look for a brief moment before smiling again, "So, let's focus. He asked you to the drive-in. And you say yes?"

"Yes... Will you come with us?"

"Why?"

"You'd be like a loophole."

"Loophole?"

"I could always talk to you if I get nervous cuz... I mean, you gotta be bored with sex by now."

"What'd you mean?"

"Well, you and Hyde have done it, like, a million times already."

"Steven and I have never done it," Jackie said, annoyed by her friend's assumptions, "So far, we've only gotten to third base once. Trust me, when we finally do it, he'll be praising me for weeks."

"Well, whatever," Donna stuttered, a bit put off.

"Don't worry, we'll be there."

"Thanks."

CIRCLE

CUT TO HYDE

HYDE: (looking at Kelso; breathy laughs for a brief moment) "Guess Pam Macy doesn't really do it with anybody."

PAN TO ERIC

ERIC (grins; looks at Kelso while trying to hold back laughter) "Wait, Pam Macy told you 'no' to the drive-in? Pam Macy?"

PAN TO KELSO

KELSO: (pouting) "Yeah... I just don't get it. I look extra foxy today, too..."

PAN TO ERIC

ERIC: (laughs a little) "Maybe you're just not as good as you thought you were. Burn!"

PAN TO HYDE

HYDE: (looks at Fez) "Okay, you-you-you said somethin' or... somethin' about the devil, or somethin'?"

PAN TO FEZ

FEZ: (looks a bit paranoid) "I'm telling you. I heard it. The devil is singing backwards on the record."

PAN TO HYDE

HYDE: (coughs a little) "It's not the devil, man. It's Congress. They passed a secret law to put backwards messages in our records, man. They wanna kill rock 'n roll cuz they know it makes us horny, man!"

PAN TO ERIC

ERIC: (grinning) "Doesn't-" (laughs a little) "Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny?" (stuffs a whole Twinkie into his mouth)

PAN TO KELSO

KELSO: (big, open-mouthed smile) "Cartoons make me horny." (briefly loses his smile before it pops back up) "Oh, and, uh, food."

PAN TO FEZ

FEZ: (looking scared) "When you play the record backwards, you can hear the devil speak. I am starting to hear him everywhere. Ay." (looks behind himself)

PAN TO HYDE

HYDE: (giving Fez a wide-eyed frown; begins speaking backwards in a deep, cracky voice, mimicking demon-talk)

PAN TO ERIC BRIEFLY

ERIC: (giving Fez the evil-eye)

PAN TO HYDE

HYDE: (still speaking 'demonically') "Satan is your master, Fez. Worship Satan."

PAN TO FEZ

FEZ: (whimpers) "Ay..."

PAN TO HYDE

HYDE: (demonic voice) "But before you worship Satan, get him a cherry pop. Get Satan a cherry pop. Get Satan a cherry pop." (uses his normal voice, smiling) "Pop, man, get me a pop." (laughs) "Fez, man, get me a pop!"

PAN TO FEZ

FEZ: (looking relieved) "Oh, I'm sorry, I misunderstood."

PAN TO HYDE

HYDE: (demonic voice) "Satan's second choice is root beer!" (briefly loses face, shoulders shaking, before glaring again)

PAN TO FEZ

FEZ: (scared) "Ay..."

Jackie broke the kiss, gently pushing Hyde off of her as she sat up on the basement couch.

"Steven, we need to catch up with Eric and Donna before they leave."

"Ah, no, Jackie, I told 'em we wouldn't come."

Jackie pouted at him before smiling, running her hands up his chest, "But Steven, think about what a great burn it would be on Eric."

"Let me get this straight," Hyde looked at her blankly, "You're tryin' to bribe me into goin' with a burn on Forman?" He suddenly smirked, "You're coming along nicely."

He grabbed her hand, pulling her from the couch and toward the basement door.

"Alright, let's go," Eric smiled, opening the passenger door for Donna.

"Um," Donna stuttered, "Maybe I should, uh... pop some popcorn cuz... they always overcharge."

Eric looked at her strangely as Hyde and Jackie walked up to them, coming from the basement door.

"Jackie and Hyde," Donna said in a falsely surprised voice, "What're you doin' here?"

"Nothing," Jackie said in a false voice of her own, Hyde taking pride in the burn as he smirked behind her, "What're you guys doing here?"

"Donna and I," Eric said in a slightly irritated tone, "Are goin' to the drive-in, remember?"

"Well thank you, Eric," Jackie smiled, patting him on the arm, "We'd love to go with you." She smiled at Hyde, who only smirked, opening the back door for her so she could step in. Eric grabbed Hyde's shirt as she scooted into her seat, pulling him slightly away from the car.

"This isn't what we talked about at all," He mock whispered.

"I know," Hyde smirked in a normal voice, "Isn't it great?"

Eric only glared at him and Hyde released an annoyed sigh, "Would you relax, Forman. I'm not hooking up with my girlfriend while other people are in the car. Dumbass."

With that, Hyde pushed away from Eric, settling himself in the backseat next to Jackie.

Donna and Eric sat silently in the car, staring blankly at the giant screen at the drive-in. Hyde and Jackie were nowhere to be found, but female giggling could be heard from the back seat, followed by the nearly silent sound of lips smacking together.

"God, this movie even sounds gross," Donna said.

"That's not the movie," Eric muttered, lifting his eyes heavily in annoyance when he heard another giggle.

Jackie suddenly lifted herself up with a big, happy sigh, Hyde quietly and slowly sitting up beside her. "So," She cleared her throat slightly, cupping Hyde's neck as he began kissing hers, "You guys okay up here?"

"No," Donna said slowly, irritation in her voice, "I... want popcorn and I want Eric and Hyde to go get it."

"Forman can go get it," Hyde muttered, trying to pull Jackie back down, but she pushed him away. "No," She said, "Steven, go with Eric." Hyde rolled his eyes, following Eric out of the car to the concession stand.

"I didn't bring you here to suck Hyde's face off," Donna said.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"God, this is so awkward."

"I guess I wasn't being a very good friend. But I promise, no more make outs."

"Hey," Hyde leaned down to talk through the half-opened window, "We need money for the popcorn."

"I don't want popcorn," Donna said irritably, "Get back in the car."

Hyde gave Eric an annoyed look before settling down in the backseat beside Jackie, Eric doing the same in the front seat. Hyde immediately wrapped an arm around Jackie's shoulder, pulling her close to kiss her neck.

"No, wait, Steven," Jackie said, placing her hands on the backs of his shoulders, "We're going to watch the movie with Eric and Donna."

"I missed the beginning," Hyde muttered quietly, but Eric heard him, replying bluntly, "Little kid's the devil, watch the movie." Hyde gave him an annoyed look, sighing irritably as he leaned back in his seat, his arm still around Jackie's shoulders.

"Look at me, Damian," A woman's voice was heard from the speaker, "It's all for you!"

The quadra watched, their expressions changing with the noises heard from the speakers. Donna and Jackie's eyes got wider and wider, Hyde's smirk slowly deepened, and Eric slouched further and further into his seat until a crash was heard and they all jumped, Donna and Jackie shrieking, Hyde laughing, and Eric staring wide-eyed at the screen. Donna and Jackie immediately ducked down in their seats to avoid watching the movie. Eric glanced down at Donna as Hyde's form disappeared, lying down with Jackie.

"Donna," Eric said, "It's fine, it's just a movie." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders when she sat back up, leaning into him. They sat in silence for a moment before Jackie's giggling voice was heard, "Steven, stop!"

"Do you wanna sit somewhere else?" Eric immediately asked.

"So bad," Donna said, the two of them quickly exciting the car.

"Okay, now look, Fez," Kelso said, sitting beside Fez on the couch. He was holding a record in one hand and a Pat Boone record seal in the other, "This is what Hyde taught me to do when my parents wouldn't let me listen to the music I wanted."

He held up the record and the seal, "Alice Cooper meet Pat Boone. Get it?" He asked, giving a big dopey smile as he put the record into the seal.

"But what if my host parents hear it?" Fez asked.

Kelso smile slowly fell, his eyes glancing down as if he realized something, "Oh, man, I didn't think about that..."

The two sat in silence for a moment before Kelso glanced down and his smile suddenly reappeared, "I got it!" He yelled spastically, leaning down and grabbing something off the floor. He sat back up, showing off the large headphones with a proud, open-mouthed smile, "We can use the headphones!"

"Yes!" Fez smiled in agreement, taking the headphones.

Donna and Eric lied on the hood of the Cruiser, his arm under Donna's head as they sat in an awkward silence.

"You know," Eric tried, "The stars are really just- forget it."

"What?" Donna asked, giving him a weird look.

"Nothing."

A small pause.

"So..." Eric tried again, "Guess, uh... Hyde and Jackie've made themselves comfortable. Just... you know, thank God the car's not shaking, right?"

"...It's a roomy car," Donna nodded.

"Yeah," Eric sat up a little, looking down at her, "You know the bench seat of the Vista Cruiser-" He cut himself off, suddenly crushing his mouth against hers and she immediately kissed back, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

Jackie furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, breaking the kiss to look at Hyde when she felt him lightly flinch and grunt quietly into her mouth when she grabbed his shoulder.

"Steven, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," He immediately answered, trying to kiss her again, but she avoided his movement and sat up a little. "Steven" She said sternly.

He sighed, looking away from her for a small moment, "It's nothin', Jackie, just a... scrap, that's all."

"A scrap?" She looked at him incredulously, "Steven, every time you get into a fight, practically the whole town hears about it. People are afraid of you, you know."

"I know," Hyde smirked proudly, "Ain't it great?"

"Steven."

She stared at him for a moment before brushing his shirt a little downward to look at his left shoulder. Seeing a large, black-ish purple bruise, she looked him in the eye again, and he sighed when he saw hers water a little.

"Jackie, it's oka-"

"No," She said adamantly, her voice a little heavy in the effort to hold back tears, her face going lightly pink, "Steven that is not okay. Why don't you ever do something about it? Why didn't you tell me she had a new boyfriend?"

"... Cuz I didn't wanna freak you out," He finally said, using a hand to push some of her hair out of her face, "And because it doesn't matter, I'm used to it."

"You're not supposed to be used it, Steven," She said, sniffling a little when some tears fell after she blinked.

"I know I'm not," He answered, sitting up a bit more and taking her with him, "Let's not worry about it right now, okay. Look, this is- this is fun, we're having fun, right?"

Jackie let out a small laugh through her sniffles in his awkward attempt to comfort her. He's never been comfortable with tears, but he hates it when she cries. "Yeah, okay," She said, smiling lightly as she wiped her tears away, leaning into him when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Her eyes suddenly widened when she glanced toward the windshield, a tiny gasp escaping her.

"Steven, look!" She squealed, "Eric just kissed Donna!"

A tiny pause.

"Oh my God, she fell off!" She shouted over Hyde's barking laughter.

"Smooth move, Forman!" Hyde yelled through the window.

"...And there they go on the ground," Jackie muttered, looking out the window with an odd expression on her face.

Eric walked into his living, stopping when he saw his father in his chair, smoking a cigarette, "Hey, dad."

"Hey, son," Red answered, flicking some ash off his cigarette, "How was the movie."

"It was pretty gory."

"Oh? And how'd it end."

"... I don't remember."

"Thatta boy," Red grinned, and Eric couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"So, how was your night?" Eric asked.

"It was fantastic," Red smirked.

"Well, that's great," Eric said, walking toward the stairs, "Goodnight, dad."

"Night, son, oh, and, uh, Eric," Red called, a grin in his voice, "Be quiet goin' up the stairs. Your mother is very tired."

Eric couldn't help but grin.

"Night, Jacks," Hyde said, giving her a small kiss on the lips when they stopped at her door, turning to walk home.

"Wait, Steven," Jackie said quickly, grabbing his hand, "Can you stay here tonight? My parents aren't home."

Are they ever? He thought bitterly.

But he didn't realize that she just didn't want him to go home to Ian, and at the same time, she didn't realize that him not showing up would only make it worse. And even if he did realize what she was doing, he wouldn't tell her that. Ever. That would only make her cry and he hates it when she cries.

He sighed a little before giving a small smile, tightening his grip on her hand, "Sure, doll, I'll stay."

Aww, poor Hyde :(

Don't worry, the Formans are gonna take you in ;)