Hey all - For those still waiting for this story, I'm sorry it's taken so long. Have been traveling and then there's work and real life. Anyway, here's the end of this story. Again, I know Katniss will be OOC here, but the point was to put her in a place where she would realize/acknowledge her feelings for Peeta, despite her obtuseness at this point in the real story/movie.

Hope you enjoy and would love to hear your feedback.

Thanks for your support!

Chapter 4

Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark didn't speak again until they were settled in bed. Their bodies in perfect alignment. Peeta's arm around Katniss. Her head resting on his shoulder, her hand gravitating to the center of his chest where Peeta's hand joined hers in silent, instinctive companionship.

Peace and contentment washed over Katniss as Peeta's finger sought and threaded through hers, securing them, claiming them. As her eyes drifted closed, her lips curved into a ridiculously blissful smile that she herself would scorn – and had – on anyone else.

But here? Now? With Peeta?

Katniss Everdeen simply didn't care how ridiculous it was. Or how unrealistic. Or unwise.

She could literally feel Peeta's gentle strength and innate goodness, his comforting warmth, soaking into her skin and seeping into her bones.

In her entire life, she had never felt so ironically safe.

Or profoundly cherished.

Unalterably whole.

And with that realization came wonder. And awe. And questions.

So many questions.

Like, when exactly had Peeta Mellark's arms become her solace, her sanctuary, her home? When had his smile filled her up with so much hope and determination that not even certain doom could keep her from fighting with every fiber of her being against insurmountable odds? When had his soulful eyes found and coaxed to life the very part of her that she thought had been buried with her father in the mines? And how had he woven himself so firmly into the fabric of her life that, without him, a huge hole would exist and spread until there was no life left to live?

It had all happened so slowly, so silently, so effortlessly, she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment.

It was as if he'd always been there.

Waiting.

Waiting for the moment when she knew with perfect certainty that she'd always belonged here.

In his arms. By his side. Not knowing where she ended and he began.

It was in the space between the steady beats of Peeta's heart that these profound realizations swirling around in her brain gave Katniss a strange, unsettling courage. Before she could stop herself or consider the consequences, she made an unexpectedly daring confession.

"I didn't like it today. When you spent so much time with her."

A hint of amusement coated each word. "I told you, Katniss, I was only trying to get information."

"Doesn't matter." Katniss replied, her voice soft but firm, with an undeniable trace of petulance. Like a child stomping her foot in adamant displeasure. "I still didn't like it. And I didn't like the way she looked at you. Or how she took every opportunity to touch you. And I really didn't like that you let her."

"Katniss..."

"I don't...I don't know what that all means…exactly."

Surprised not only by the bold admission, but the obvious implication behind it, Peeta's arm tightened around her shoulder as the warm breath of his contented sigh stirred the curls at the crown of her head. She could hear the pleased smile slipping through his voice. "It's ok. You don't have to."

Silence settled over them once more as each drifted into their own world of thoughts. Again, Katniss was the first to break the quiet.

"Peeta?"

"Hmmm?"

"Have you ever felt that way?"

Peeta half chuckled, half sighed, prompting an increasingly curious Katniss to prop herself up so she could look in his eyes. "Well? Have you?"

Peeta's chest expanded then collapsed with a heavy sigh as his fingers found their way into her hair. To smooth. To caress. To calm.

"Yes, Katniss, I've felt that way." His gaze shifted to the ceiling, valiantly trying to hide the evidence of pain in his deep hazel eyes. The attempt was unsuccessful. Feeling past grievances weigh heavily on her acutely aware heart, Katniss was tempted to stop her query then and there, but his next words captured her undivided attention.

"Especially after we returned from the Games. And before that…every day. For years now."

"Peeta…"

"You see, I've felt that way every time I've seen you and Gale head into the woods together. Or walk down the street to the Hob. Or whenever I've thought about all of the time he gets to spend with you or kiss you..."

An unexpected finger stilled Peeta's rambling confession. His uncertain gaze returned to her face, meeting hers. The sincerity, the sheer openness in her eyes nearly took his breath away and ignited a spark of something he'd never expected to feel again.

Hope.

Katniss shook her head slowly as her gray Seam eyes softened. "It isn't like that. With Gale, I mean. What you're thinking...it isn't like that."

Unable to let himself fully embrace the meaning behind her words, a bittersweet smile touched Peeta's lips and permeated his eyes. "Come on, Katniss, you don't have to lie. Never to me, ok? Especially not..." He made a sweeping gesture that included the whole of their mutual sanctuary. "…here."

"Peeta, I'm not..."

"Are you saying you don't love him?" Peeta softly interrupted her protest.

With lowered gaze, Katniss' answer came slowly, as if she was discovering answers to previously unasked questions right along with Peeta. "No. I do. But not the way you think. And not the way he'd like."

"So you've never kissed him then?"

"No. I have." Seeing Peeta's silent reaction at her confirmation, Katniss hastened to clarify her reluctant reply. "But only twice."

Peeta swallowed around the disappointment her answer conjured and instantly reverted back to the Peeta with a guarded heart. The Peeta that had resigned himself to dreams unfulfilled. "It doesn't really matter how many times, Katniss. You love him. If I'd had any doubts before, they were gone when he was whipped in the town square. And after...when you wouldn't leave his side." Peeta stated matter-of-factly, as if the dream of ever winning Katniss Everdeen was a distant memory. "And I know that even if it wasn't like that before, it could be. One day."

"We're on our way back into the arena, Peeta, I'm pretty sure that day is never going to come."

"Katniss..."

"And even if it did…" Katniss bit back the rest of her thought, her gaze shifting from the smooth, handsome planes of his face. She mentally kicked herself for having been such a fool. For only now having the courage to admit, even if only to herself, just how impossibly dear that face was.

"The first time...he kissed me before the Victory Tour and the second? I kissed him before we left for the Quell. Both times we were saying good bye." Glancing back at Peeta, she felt her cheeks warm with a sudden and fierce blush, her voice growing thick with emotion. "But kissing you, Peeta, it's never really been about that."

"What's it's been about?" Peeta's whisper was wrapped around that rare, but stubborn hope. The hope he thought he'd choked out of existence long ago. The hope that persisted beyond itself. The hope that was springing to life with every word she spoke, despite his best efforts to stamp it out.

"Survival. Need. And..." Growing increasingly uncomfortable with the subject and the feelings threatening to overwhelm her, Katniss dropped her head back onto the cradle of Peeta's shoulder before finishing her confession. "...things I can't quite put a name to."

Peeta released a shaky breath and a vague acknowledgement of her sudden and unforeseen revelation.

"I see."

He barely had a chance to register the hidden implications behind her spoken words before she piped up again.

"Peeta?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think it means?"

Peeta paused before answering, because in truth, the answer was rather complicated. Despite what he'd worked out earlier about Katniss and the non-existence of her feelings for him, there was no question now that Katniss had been jealous of the attention he'd paid to Johanna. And now with this new layer of information about Gale, came a new depth of understanding that all lead to one Capitol-sized realization.

Katniss Everdeen did feel something for him.

Something beyond friendship.

Something not at all confined to the platonic.

And something powerful if it was making the girl who isn't 'good at saying something' chattier than a jabberjay.

But beyond that, what did she feel and how much? That wasn't as obvious. Neither was what it all meant for their future – short as that future may be.

When Peeta finally spoke, each word was measured and full of caution. "We're hours from being back in the arena, Katniss. Are you really sure you want to talk about this?"

Katniss' bottom lip slipped between her teeth as she mulled over Peeta's question. Over the very question that had complimented her earlier anger and bolstered her now crumbled resolved.

Did she really want to go there? To explore what all of the emotions tangling together inside of her meant? Would the knowing give her the strength to do what was needed in the coming days, hours? Or would it make it that much harder to let go when the time came?

"No, I'm not sure at all."

"Then maybe we shouldn't." Peeta answered, a hint of disappointment lost in the softness of his reply.

He was right. She knew he was. Still. There was something gnawing at her that wouldn't let her let it go.

Even when it meant being vulnerable. Admitting things she never thought she would. Or opening herself to the unspeakable pain of losing him. Because she knew now that Peeta's death would destroy her should she be forced to go on living without him. But as that wasn't the plan, she had to think of Peeta. And if this moment, this truth, was the price she had to pay to make life beyond the Quell bearable for him, she would pay it a thousand times over.

She knew that like she knew her own name.

"But what if I want to?"

"And why would that be?" Peeta inquired, half out of curiosity and half out of a growing hope he was desperately trying to ignore.

"I don't know." Releasing a deep sigh, Katniss pulled out of Peeta's embrace once more to stare down into his curious, searching gaze. That gaze that was a kaleidoscope of colors and emotions, each one pulling her in deeper and deeper until she found it hard to breathe.

If it weren't for the steady strokes of his finger slipping through her hair and down her back, soothing the turmoil of emotions bubbling just under the surface of her barely-controlled façade, she might not have had the strength and courage to go on.

"Maybe I want to know there's a part of me they don't control. Or maybe..." She pulled in a ragged breath. "…maybe I need to know what it's all for. That something in all of this is...real." Katniss paused and pushed down her growing emotions with a hard swallow. "And maybe…I want you to know it too. Maybe I don't want you to believe it's always ever only been pretend."

Gazing into her questioning eyes, Peeta turned her words over in his mind before responding. He knew that no matter how unexpectedly open Katniss was being, her vulnerability and openness had a time limit. With his luck, it would end with the rising of the sun. So whatever came of this, whatever was said between then, if she were to ever embrace it, she would have to claim it – know it – for herself.

Not just because she was told.

"Alright then." Peeta reasoned. "Why don't we figure it out together?"

"How?"

"Let's start with what it doesn't mean." Peeta suggested.

Katniss' eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Like what?"

"Well, for starters, it doesn't mean that we're the star-crossed lovers of District 12."

"No." Katniss agreed softly. "They belong to the Capitol and its cameras." Then quickly added, "But we are engaged…"

Peeta dismissed her suggestion with a curt shake of his head, his gaze shifting to the ceiling as he concentrated on pushing away the pang of disappointment that always accompanied the thought of their forced engagement and how it came about. "That belongs to the Capitol too."

His answer, and the edge in his voice that accompanied it, seemed to unsettle her. Her guilty gaze lowered to the hand still covering his heart. The one sporting the diamond engagement ring she'd forgotten to remove after an earlier interview focused on the wedding that would never be.

"So, then what does that leave us?"

Peeta's gaze snapped back to her beautiful face, her downcast gaze, the frown tugging at her lips and threatening to take them over. His hazel eyes began to sparkle as a smile took hold. "It leaves us with…you." He gently tipped her chin upward until her adorably uncertain gaze met his. His smile deepened. "Katniss Everdeen, my girl with the song."

A slow, responding smile warmed her eyes as she instantly joined his train of thought. "And you, Peeta Mellark…" She reached up and righted a few curls on his forehead before trailing her fingers lightly down his cheek. "…my boy with the bread."

Savoring her touch, Peeta spoke around the lump forming in this throat. "It means that we're…partners."

"Yes."

"Friends." Peeta proceeded, a slight hesitation in his voice.

She eagerly nodded her agreement. "Definitely."

"And I don't know quite how you managed it, because, believe me, with two brothers that are all arms and legs and mega pests to boot, I've learned the art of catching Z's wherever I can find them, but…" Peeta confessed with tilting lips. "…I meant what I said before. I can't sleep without you now."

Katniss' slight nod of acknowledgement and the knowing twinkle in her eyes made Peeta's heart swell. "Neither can I."

"I guess that means we're each other's…raggedy, old baby binkie?" Responding quickly to Katniss' comically scrunched nose and shake of her head, Peeta offered another option. "Favorite pillow?" And then another. "Life-sized teddy bear."

Chuckling at Peeta's failed attempts, Katniss filled in quickly, not at all surprised she had that one on the tip of her tongue. "How about…shelter."

"Shelter." Peeta repeated slowly.

"You know, from all of those nasty things that go bump in the night." The smile slipped from her lips at the mention of the nightmares that would forever haunt her dreams.

"Yeah." Peeta nodded his agreement, his voice taking on a tenderness that spoke more than words ever could. "I like that. I like that a lot."

"Me too." Katniss' whisper brought with it a smile.

Peeta returned her smile then took another step on the road to discovery, this time with more confidence. "I guess that also means we're allies."

Katniss shook her head slowly as she tried to wrap her mind around the term and found it didn't quite fit. "No."

"No?" An inquiring eyebrow rose.

"No." Katniss repeated, her brows knitting in concentration as her gaze shifted to the ceiling-to-floor windows that softly glowed with the lights from the Capitol below. "Allies are people you're thrown together with because you have the same end goal and no other choice. You use allies, but you don't trust them. Not really. Because if it comes down to you or them…the chances are, they won't hesitate to stab you in the back."

"And they certainly won't risk their life to save yours because they're too stubborn to keep their promises." Harkening back to their time in the cave, Peeta teased as he wrapped a strand of hair around his finger then let it slide through, only to do it again.

"Or…" Katniss corrected, a fresh, unexpected wave of emotion rushing into her eyes as she gazed back down at him. "…because they can't imagine a world without you. Because you are their hope. Always have been."

"Katniss…" Peeta breathed her name like a sacred prayer.

It was enough to make Katniss cry.

Instead, she continued, her voice soft and trembling as she unlocked a part of herself and revealed a secret she'd hidden for years. "You know, you saved my life that day. The day you threw me the bread. Prim, mother, me…we were on the brink of starvation. And that loaf? It was the only thing that kept us alive. It was the only thing that gave me the hope that we would survive and the strength to find a way to make sure that we did."

"Katniss, I had no idea…"

"And then you did it again in the arena." Eyes downcast, Katniss continued, her voice soft and broken. "First, from the Careers and then…Peeta, I was a mess after Rue's death. I'm not even sure if I would have been able to go on. If anyone had attacked me, I don't know that I would have put up much of a fight. But when they announced the rule change, I instantly thought of you and I felt…"

"Hope?"

Katniss' gaze snapped up to meet his. A glimmer of a smile instantly sparked in her eyes.

"Hope."

The hint of a lopsided smile spread over Peeta's lips as his eyes began to glimmer with understanding and a smidgen of teasing. "So, you're saying the Girl on Fire needs me a little bit after all."

"Yeah. That's what I'm saying." Katniss confirmed as the tiny dimples at the corner of her lips made a fierce appearance. The lightness in Peeta's eyes, the heart-tugging smile on his lips, was proof enough that she'd accomplished her goal. She'd given him something precious and real to hold onto when the darkest of nights finally claimed her.

"So, you see, Peeta Mellark, we aren't just allies."

"No, I guess we aren't."

"We're…" Katniss paused struggling to find a term that would encompass the whole of who Katniss and Peeta were together without revealing her deepest suspicions. From Valley songs to loaves of bread, from dandelions to kisses. From virtual strangers to twin victors, Katniss and Peeta were forever bound together by the love found amidst the horror of The Games.

Love.

It was the only word that could accurately describe what she was feeling. And yet, to admit that to him now, knowing what she intended to sacrifice in the arena…it was too much. Too unfair. Too cruel.

"More than allies." Peeta quietly supplied for her, sensing her inability to label the intangible. Given the unpredictability and finality of the coming days, what he intended to sacrifice in the arena, Peeta himself hesitated to claim more than either could afford to admit.

So he admitted what he could. With words that held the promise of tomorrow by saying nothing, but embracing everything unspoken between them.

An undeclared 'I love you' echoed in those three words and summed up everything Katniss had been feeling. And as scary as it was, Katniss found herself liking the feel—the rightness—of them as she read in Peeta's eyes the same emotions, the same thoughts and fears threatening to break her heart wide open.

Before she could respond, feather-light fingers ran down the side of her face, Peeta's softening gaze following its path as he mercifully released them both from saying more than they should. "And maybe…for now…that's all we need to know."

"Yeah. Maybe more than allies…" A smiling Katniss agreed as her head lowered to his shoulder once more, the rest of her thought whispering its way into the depths of Peeta's heart. "…is more than enough. For now…"

END