A Lesson in Lies

Loki sat with his long legs crossed and his back against the side wall of his cell. His eyes were lightly closed, and his scarred and dirty hands rested on his bony knees.

He was hungry, thirsty, and the muzzle was beginning to chafe. But overall he was weary, weary of it all.

But he could not sleep. Sleep was elusive ever since that nightmare vision he had of Thanos. Every time he felt himself drifting off he'd jerk himself awake.

So in the dark quiet of his cell he waited more than he rested.

"Loki."

Her voice came like a forgotten memory. Opening his tired eyes, Loki saw Frigga all golden with beauty, with a trey at the door of his barred cell.

Mother?

Frigga smiled, though timidly, at Loki when she saw him looking at her, a confused, yet surprised expression on his haggard face. She motioned him over with a nod.

Loki got to his feet carefully and steadied himself against the wall before he took any steps towards her. When he was in front of her, Loki could see that she was as ageless as ever and exactly as he remembered her. However, he could see the weariness of concern in her eyes. How awful and different he must look to her after all this time.

"I brought you something to eat," Frigga said as she eyed the muzzle and set the trey down on the ledge. "I also brought the key to take that thing off you. Here, turn around."

Loki did so. He wasn't about to pass up a chance to get that wretched thing off his face. When his back was turned, Frigga reached though the bars and unlocked the muzzle.

She must have talked to Odin, Loki mused. He wasn't sure how he should feel about that.

Frigga let the muzzle drop to the floor. Finally free of it, Loki worked his jaw carefully. His lips were dry and cracked, but bled little.

He turned back around to discover that Frigga had retrieved the platter of food and had placed it on the little slot they had in the middle of the bars.

Without saying anything, Loki grabbed the sides of the platter and began to pull it through. But before he could, Frigga placed her hands over his.

They were as warm and soft as he remembered. Gentle and loving after every bump and bruise and scrape she tended to when he was a boy.

Those hands had no business touching his; rough and dirty. There was blood on his hands he would never be clean of. But he didn't shy away…

"Why did you betray us, Loki?" she asked in a hushed whimper.

Loki narrowed his eyes as the icy cold grip of anger closed over him, all those good feelings gone.

He ripped his hands away as if her disgusted him. The trey fell with a loud echoing clatter at his feet. The hurried shuffle of many feet coming down the hall filled their ears. The guards emerged from around the corner, ready for a fight.

Frigga, though startled banished them off with a, "It is alright" and a withering look when they lingered too long.

When she was certain they had returned to their posts and they were alone again, Frigga turned back to Loki. He hadn't moved from his place behind the bars, his eyes hard and too angry to know what to say.

"Did we not love you enough?" Frigga wanted to know, her hands clasped tightly beneath her breasts.

"I think you are forgetting who betrayed to whom, here." Loki snapped, shifting away from the bars. "I only lied as much as you lied to me."

"We were only trying to protect you. You are my son," Frigga countered.

"But I am NOT your son. I'm a monster and you knew that all along," Loki hissed.

I am not your son. Maybe in another life you could have been my mother and we could have been happy…but not in this lifetime. I have to lose you, too.

"You may not be our son in blood, but you are our son in our hearts," Frigga told him.

Loki stared at her. His throat began to close up as her words stroked his heart. But he would not be so taken as to let her move him. He couldn't. There was no going back for him. He was in a cell , waiting for his trial.

It was too late.

Frigga moved closer to the bars. "When Odin brought you to me and placed you in my arms, I let you into my heart. I raised you as if you were one of my own, because deep down you were always meant to be mine. Odin loves you, too. He saved you because you were meant to be his son. He taught you-"

"BUT WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?" Loki yelled, his hand jamming into the center of his chest. He couldn't stop the tears from slipping down his cheeks as he looked at her. "And why was Father," Loki continued, his voice breaking, "why was he teaching me to hate myself?"

His voice died out into a whisper, his hand still shaking as he pointed towards himself. He remembered all the stories Odin told him about the war with the terrible Frost Giants. He remembered Thor, promising to destroy them and Odin smiling at him… Growing up, knowing that they were the enemy. How could they raise him, knowing what he was, yet teaching him to hate who he was?

The monster parents tell their children about at night…

Frigga stood there, frozen in place, not knowing what more she could say.

"Loki, I-"

"Enough," Loki said, his voice cracking. "I've had it with your lies." His voice began to regain its bitterness as he continued to speak. "Leave here knowing that you and your precious Odin did this to me. That the boy you claimed to love, suffered and died because of your deceit. Leave here and never show your face to me again."

"But Loki I-"

Loki slammed his body against the bars. Frigga gasped and jumped back.

"I don't want your love. I don't need it. Your love is like a poison in my veins and I despise you for it. GO!" he bellowed.

With tears in her eyes, she ran from him. He could hear her slippered feet retreating down the halls.

Loki closed his eyes and rested his head against the cool bars.

You don't want me for a son. It's better this way. I was only ever meant to hurt you in the end…

Loki retreated to the darkest corner of his cell and slid to the floor. He wrapped his arms around his legs and cried.

He cried like the lost child that he was.