A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
A/N: I'm writing the McDonald's chapter in an actual McDonald's. :P Oh, the things I'll do for Wi-Fi connectivity…
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 41: Miz Gets Unexpected Help
"That was quick," Punk said, when Miz stepped out. "No orange juice yet?" He was sitting on one of the benches, his back against the table.
"Punk! Punk!" Matt yelled from inside the playplace. "Look at me! Look!"
"I'm looking!" Punk yelled. "That's awesome, Jeff!"
"We've got a problem," Miz said, lowering his voice so only Punk could hear it. He smiled and waved at Matt, who was making frantic waving motions.
"Oh?" Punk said, also waving at Matt, though his attention was on Miz. "What kind of a problem?"
"It's eight am, and they don't start serving lunch food for another two hours. So the two happy meal cheeseburgers with fries? Out of the question."
Punk glanced up at Matt, smiled and waved, then looked back at Miz. "You know he's going to throw a fit, right?"
"Yeah," Miz said.
"Especially after that crap about how if he doesn't eat every bite, he won't get the toy. You told him they would repossess the toy if he didn't eat his food, for dad's sake!"
"I can see how that might have been a mistake," Miz admitted. "But maybe we can make up for it? Maybe I can get him some sausage patties with cheese and ketchup on them and he won't know the difference?"
"What about the fries?"
"Hash brown rounds?"
Punk shook his head. "I don't think it'll work, but you can try it. Just be sure they put it in a happy meal box, and for dad's sake, don't let them forget the toy!"
"Right." Miz waved to Matt one more time, then returned to the restaurant. The rest of the superstars were sitting down with their food. "Oh, you guys ordered."
"We weren't sure you were coming back alive," Christian said.
"Very funny."
"We got you juice," JJ said, indicating a couple of cups full of orange juice.
"Great," Miz said. "Let me order mine and Jeff's food and then I'll take Punk out his juice." He went back to the counter. The girl gave him a sympathetic look. "Okay," he said, "how about this? Can I have two sausage biscuits, hold the biscuit, plus cheese and ketchup, wrapped up like a cheeseburger, in a happy meal box?"
"Uh, I think so?" she said. "Let me ask my manager." She walked away, leaving Miz waiting at the counter. "Tony, can I have some help, please?"
"What can I do for you?" Tony asked, following the girl up to the counter.
Miz said, "Look, my brother out there is mentally challenged. He thinks like a six year old. I promised him a couple happy meals, but since you guys don't do those this early, I was thinking maybe I could fool him with sausage patties and cheese, wrapped to look like cheeseburger patties."
The manager stared at Miz for a long moment, then said, "Tell you what. I don't normally do this, but I'll go ahead and make you up two happy meals. Cheeseburgers, fries, everything. Okay?"
Miz sighed in relief. "Thank you," he said. "That would make my life so much easier. I just need the patties, cheese and ketchup, and the fries. Oh, and the box and the toy. It's some kind of car, right?"
"Hot wheels," the manager confirmed.
"Awesome," Miz said. "You're really saving me here."
Tony smiled and said, "I've traveled with kids a time or two, and I know how they can get. I'm going to get started on those right now for you."
"Thank you so much," Miz said. He ordered the rest of his food, then went to sit with the other guys. "That went better than expected," he told them.
"I'm a bear," Mark said. "Grrr!" He picked up a hash brown round and chomped into it.
Randy watched this process thoughtfully before picking up one of his own hash brown rounds and biting it. "Not as satisfying as biting pancakes or people," he said, "but I guess it'll do until you tell me if I can bite Jeff or not."
Miz sighed and grabbed Punk's juice. "Someone get my food when it comes up, please? And no, Randy, before you even ask, you can't bite anyone if you go get it."
Randy sighed. "Fine."
"I'll be right back," Miz said, taking the juice outside to Punk.
"Did you order the fake burgers?" Punk asked.
"No, even better," Miz said. "The manager took pity on me and is making me two actual cheeseburgers."
"How'd you manage that?"
"I guess I looked pitiful and desperate?" Miz said.
"I can believe that," Punk agreed.
"Is my food ready yet?" Matt yelled from the playplace.
"In a little bit," Miz called. "This is the longest day ever," he told Punk.
"You're going to have to figure out who you trust to drive," Punk said, "because you look completely wiped out."
"I am," Miz admitted. "Maybe Orton, now that there's no GPS to destroy?"
Punk shrugged. "Don't ask me. My judgment is probably as impaired as yours."
"Because of the drugs?"
"Because I stayed up all night with you," said Punk with a glare.
"Except for that nap you took in the emergency room."
"Thanks for reminding me," Punk said. "And for the record, it wasn't nearly long enough." He waved at Matt. "I'd say JJ's your best bet to drive."
"What if he needs directions?"
Punk sighed. "This is going to sound absurd, but Christian can help him navigate."
"You want the blind guy to navigate?"
"Yeah. Stupid, right?"
"Maybe. Or maybe it's genius. Ask me again later when we're lost in Canada."
"We're headed south," Punk pointed out.
"Yeah. And I'm about to ask the blind man to navigate," Miz said.