Chapter Nine: Bella

Felix rose cautiously. Raising his hands in as if in an attempt to placate. "Um, I surrender?" He mumbled.

As the feathers that hung suspended in the air began to sink, one landed lightly on my nose, I began to laugh.

I couldn't help it, my whole body shaking and I started howling with laughter, collapsing back down on the ground in the middle of all the feathers, I kept laughing, knowing it was stupid but not being able to stop. I didn't even know what I was laughing at anymore, the expressions of the Volturi's faces, the shocked expression on Felix's face, the fact that Jane's hair looked like someone had made a nest in it…..

Jane was the next to cave, it started out as a twitch of her lips, then she was on the ground almost crying with laughter. The tinkling sound filled the air.

Felix and Demetri were on the ground convulsing, wracked with fits of giddiness, their booming chuckles echoing in my ears.

I was going to get hiccups if I kept on laughing for too long, Jane and I were hanging on to each other as we shrieked in laughter. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and right now I couldn't have cared less what the rest of the Volturi thought.

After what felt like an hour and our laughter had turned into hiccupping giggles- or at least that was what happened to me- the rest of the vampires stopped laughing all at the same time with perfect poker faces.

I pulled myself up, unable to wipe the smile of my face and turned to face the Volturi lords.

To my relief all the guard had left except for Alec, who stood behind Aro, peering at Jane, and the three offenders next to me.

"Having fun?" drawled Caius.

I was suddenly very annoyed at the superior look in his ruby orbs. "Yes." I said defensively, "Until a few seconds ago when you started talking."

Aro raised an eyebrow at my insult while Caius looked strangely blank.

"Indeed." Aro remarked, then a blinding white smile appeared on his face like the Cheshire cat. "So… I assume you have all sufficiently recovered?" He glanced at Jane who was suppressing an outburst and Felix and Demetri, who only now realized that they would have to run around the throne room naked.

They all gave half bows and muttered, "Yes master."

I wanted to start laughing all over again. All three- two of them in their twenties, looked like penitent children, they filed out of the room, Jane leaning over and whispering quickly in my ear, "See you later- that was the most fun I'd had in centuries," and disappearing down the hallway, Alec following.

Then Aro turned to me with a stern expression on his, "We might be needing to find you a new room."

I turned around, wondering what he was talking about, and realized the whole room was practically destroyed. The bed hung sideways, the mattress dragging on the floor, the desk was split directly in two and books were scattered all around the room while the bookcase had miraculously ended up in the shower box and feathers were everywhere. It looked like a tornado had been let loose in the room.

I blushed a bright red. "Um, no that's fine, I don't want you to go to any trouble, I'll tidy up…. A bit, maybe Jane and I could um- redecorate, for something to do."

Aro bounced up and down on the spot clapping his hands. "Oh what a wonderful idea!"

I smiled weakly. "Yeah. We could like redecorate here, and then maybe Caius's room…" What? Had I just blurted out Caius's room? Oh boy, what would happen now? What if he thought I was insulting his room? Well I was insulting it because it was a horrible excuse for a room, but don't let them know that… Quick… Fix it! "I mean, you know, move the bookcases, and um, space arrangement…. For convenience!"

What was I blabbing about? Great. Kill me. Kill me now.

Aro and Caius were looking confused. Confused about what? But not angry- so I tried to change the subject before they could get all indignant. "Um, so, do you have a vacuum cleaner somewhere- for the feathers? I-"

Before I could finish my stomach snarled loudly. It was so unexpected that my cheeks flooded with heat. When was the last time I had eaten? Answer: almost a day and a half ago, a few crackers on the plane to Italy.

Aro was amused, "Not to worry my dear, why don't you and Caius run down to the town to take care of your… Human needs, and I will send someone up to clear the mess. Is that acceptable to you?"

Caius's expression soured considerably at the words 'you and Caius', but I nodded anyway.

Aro winked at me then floated away. I almost expected him to start singing 'Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…. Lalalalalallalalalalalalal…..'

~~~(O.o)~~~

"Can you humans not go for a day without food?"

"If you just had a kitchen here then we wouldn't need to go!"

"In case you have not noticed girl, we do not need to eat and therefore a kitchen would be a waste of time and space."

"Well right now, I could really use one. And seeing as you don't have one, we're going to the town."

"Curse your foolish mortal needs."

"Look, if you're going to be such a moron about this then just don't come!"

"Apparently I need to accompany you in case of possible threats to your safety."

"Awwwwww, you really do care!"

"Mortal, you could be torn to pieces before my eyes and I could not care less. I am merely following my orders."

"Idiot."

Caius was frustrated that it had taken me half an hour to shower and pick all the feathers out of my hair and re-braid it, and then another few minutes for me to find shoes that weren't heels.

Now, I was walking along the weird narrow winding roads of Volterra, trying to look at everything. The last time I had been here, I had been too busy trying to save Edward from committing suicide I hadn't really gotten to see how pretty everything was. All the buildings were exactly the same as they were a hundred years ago, probably why the Volturi liked it so much here.

Caius was trailing behind me, his face- hidden from the sun underneath his cloak's hood, was an expression of disgust. He obviously hadn't been out of the castle for fun…. Ever. I had tried to tell him that walking around draped in a Dracula style cloak would attract more attention that if he was shining like the sun, but of course, he didn't listen.

I saw several little girls begin pointing at the skulking figure behind me, while parents were eyeing him suspiciously.

I stopped at one of those fresh mini-doughnut stalls and bought a huge bucket along with a Sprite. Thank goodness for Edward stocking me with over five hundred dollars. After a day and a half of not eating, the smell of sugar and cinnamon was intoxicating.

Caius wanted to go back to the castle as soon as I had gotten my food, but it was fun sightseeing, even if my companion was a moronic jerk.

I bought a black 'No-I-Will-Not-Calm-Down-And-You-Can-Just-Shag-Yourself' hoodie and bought a few presents for Jessica, Angela, Mike, Ben, who all thought I was off to a fancy college in Italy, and the Cullens, then stopped at a beauty products shop. I was running really low on shampoo.

I was trying to decide on whether or not to buy 'NEW AND ORIGINAL GRAPE HAIR SHAMPOO' or my traditional orange and mango when I saw out of the corner of my eye a shop assistant trip and a whole fountain of shampoo, soaps, gels, wax and conditioners cascade out of her hands and all spill over a very humiliated and angry vampire.

~~~(O.o)~~~

I honestly thought Caius was going to kill her right then and there. His expression of absolute fury would have been laughable if it wasn't for the knowledge that he could kill every single person in the store in under five seconds.

The shop assistant was blushing furiously as she tried- and not very well- to clean Caius up. I knew I should help but it was too damn funny and it was all I could do to not crack up laughing like before.

Eventually it became crystal clear that the stuff wouldn't come out. Caius's cloak and shirt now both looked like they were tie-dyed.

Finally the shop assistant whose tag read- Hi, my name is Lucy said, "I'm so sorry, it's not going to come out. Do you have any other clothes that you can change into?"

YES! This was perfect. Revenge for Caius being such a jerk. "Yup!" I piped up holding out the offensive hoodie that I had just purchased. "He's got this."

Caius all but dragged me back to the castle after he changed. His hood was up so he looked like a weird gangster style teenager instead of one of the most feared vampires in the world. I quietly snapped a photo of him with my iPod.

After he had changed, and I couldn't help noticing his extremely muscular chest, he barely gave me the time to pay for the conditioners before towing me away. I had to assure three separate people- one mother, an old man and a guy with a baby that no- I was not being kidnapped and that my boyfriendonly wanted to show me something.

We entered the castle just like when I had come with Edward, through the tunnel- except this time no one caught me after the fall and I think I twisted my ankle, in half the time we took to get to town.

We swept past the new blonde receptionist whose name I think was Diane, to the throne room. Or at least he swept. I tried to sweep, but my constant tripping didn't help.

Caius barged into the throne room which was empty except for Aro and Marcus who were lounging on their thrones. Felix and Demetri, true to their word wearing the 'stupid' and 'stupider' t-shirts, materialized right in front of Caius as if to restrain him, but he just pushed past them like they weren't even there.

"How may we assist you…." Aro rose in shock, his customary smile freezing in astonishment. "Brother?"

Caius snarled throwing back his hood. It would have been very dramatic if it wasn't for the fact that Caius's hair was plastered to his skull with still a mix of still drying gels that was slowly melting from the heat Caius was radiating. I had a feeling he was going to give a very good example of pyrokinesis.

"Caius, calm-" Aro placed a hand on Caius's shoulder- to read his thoughts, then tried to placate him while Marcus looked on almost amusedly.

"CALM DOWN?" snarled Caius. His hand burst into flame.

I was vaguely aware of Felix dragging me backwards, and Aro backing away slowly.

"READ THE SHIRT YOU MORON!" And he flung the ball of flame at Aro.

~~~(O.o)~~~

I was hauled out of the room and into the lobby where the receptionist was craning her neck to try and see what was going on with Caius.

"That was SO cool!" I enthused bouncing on the spot.

Felix shot me a very concerned look. "Master Caius just burst into flame and you are calling him cool?"

I was still bouncing. Probably hyped up by the soda from before, Caius had said the word 'moron' and the fact that Caius had made Aro look- scared. This was so awesome! "Well yeah! It was so funny what happened!"

"And what did happen?" Felix looked wickedly interested.

I grinned at his enthusiasm, gave a quick prayer that I wouldn't be killed for telling, and began. "Well me and Caius went to the town and you know coz vampires glitter in the sun- he was wearing this really huge cloak which only got him more noticed, and-" Just then I realized that Felix was wearing a cloak exactly like Caius's, except Felix's was a shade or so lighter while Caius's was pitch black. I hurried on. "…and I went into a beauty shop and this person called Lucy tripped and split everything on Caius! And he had nothing to wear so I, very kindly," *cough* sarcasm *cough* "…lent him my brand new hoodie to wear. He looked very….. Street."

Felix was trying to hold in the laughter. Good luck. He looked like he was going to explode.

"You honestly go him to go into a beauty store and made him wear a hoodie that read No-I-Will-Not-Calm-Down-And-You-Can-Shag-Yourself?" He was incredulous.

I nodded. It actually hadn't seemed like that big a deal before. Hmmm.

Felix stuck out his hand like I had before the pillow fight. "Isabella Swan, welcome to the Volturi."

I took it, and we shook once.

"Let's just hope Caius doesn't kill me."

Thank you to:

HPTheBoyHero, gdselby, tesadia, il0veuAmanda, Cowgirl53, .58, dettyfan, BleachLover11, TheDarkPlume, 1, JCami-Spashlyluv-88, Celestial241 for following Stuck together

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dizprincess77, .58, Matthias Stormcrow for following me

Matthias Stormcrow for favoriting me

So my computer is clearly stupid, so whoever's penname ends in .58, thank you to them. It wont post the rest of your name though