A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 42: Miz Lets The Blind Lead The Crazy

"So here's the thing," Miz said, sitting down at the table with the others. Randy pushed his tray of food in front of him. "I'm exhausted, and so is Punk. Plus there's that whole drug thing to consider. We're not going to get anywhere if I don't make an executive decision. JJ, you didn't kill us when we were escaping. How would you like to drive for a while?"

"I don't know, Undertaker," JJ said.

Mark picked up the tray with the happy meal boxes. "I'm a waiter!" he announced. "And I'm taking Jeff his food."

"Awesome," Miz said tiredly. "Make sure he eats it, okay?" Then he turned back to JJ and Christian. "Christian can sit up front with you and help you if you need directions."

"Are you asking me to navigate?" Christian said in disbelief. "I'm blind."

"As long as JJ keeps the car pointed south, there shouldn't be any issues," Miz said. "There's no actual navigating involved. Though if it makes you feel better, you can hold the map."

"Yeah, whatever," Christian muttered. "Way to be patronizing, Miz."

"I'm not trying to be," Miz sighed. "I seriously need a nap. For two or three days." He took a bite of his food and stared out the window to where Mark and Punk were trying to coax Matt out of the playplace.

"I guess I can drive," JJ said. "Though if Rey doesn't want to sit up front, Beth can help me."

"You must be joking," Christian said. "He destroyed the GPS. Knowing our luck, he'll think the map is lying to him and try to RKO it."

"Did it look like a freeway to you?" Randy asked icily.

"I couldn't say," Christian replied. "Being blind and all."

"Well, whatever," Miz said. "You guys work this out amongst yourselves. I'm going to finish my breakfast, then go to sleep. Give me a few hours, and then I'll take over again." He sighed. "I should probably go out and help Punk and Mark with Jeff."

Randy turned to see where he was looking. "I can do that."

"Don't actually hurt him," Miz said. "Just remind him that if doesn't eat, McDonald's is going to repossess his happy meal toys."

"Sounds like fun," Randy said. "and if that doesn't work, I'll chase him down in the playplace and drag him out by his hair." He wandered outside.

"That sounds painful," Christian said. "But it explains why Orton keeps his hair so short."

"Is it bad that I'm too tired to stop him?" Miz asked.

"It's been a long night, Undertaker," JJ said. "None of us are going to blame you for not keeping a sharp eye on Beth and Drew every moment of the day."

"This is the worst babysitting job ever," Miz agreed with a chuckle. "Full time, with no pay to speak of. And not all that rewarding, either."

"It's only another day's drive," Christian pointed out, "and then we'll be in Miami and we can get to the bottom of this thing."

"Only if we don't stop at SeaWorld," Miz said.

"I'm sure Jeff's forgotten about that by now," Christian said.

JJ gave Christian a look of disbelief. "Drew doesn't forget about anything."

Miz gave JJ a thoughtful look. "So he's Drew even when he's Jeff?"

JJ shrugged. "Even when you call him by another name, he's Drew. He's always Drew."

"That certainly complicates things," Miz said. "Since you can't exactly watch him for me, no matter which personality is in charge. You call him Drew, and it's all over. He'll be Matthew or Godzilla for sure."

"It might make life less complicated if he were Godzilla or Matthew," Christian pointed out. "Jeff's whiny and annoying."

"So's Matt," Miz said. "What's your point?"

Mark came back and sat down. "Being a waiter makes me tired. I'm going to be a car wash when I'm less tired."

"Thanks for the warning," Miz said. "But as soon as we're done eating, we have to be back on the road."

"I can't be a car wash on the road," Mark said. "I can be a siren, though. WOOOOOO!" he shrieked, as loudly as he could, causing everyone in the restaurant to turn and look at him.

Miz clapped his hands over his ears. "Mark!" he yelled. "Stop that! You are not a siren!"

Mark stopped and stared at Miz. "I'm not?"

"No. You're… um…" He looked at JJ and Christian for help. "Uh, you're…"

"Asleep," Christian supplied.

"Oh, okay!" Mark said, and he put his head down on the table and made loud snoring noises.

"Thanks," Miz said, glaring at Mark, "but I'm not sure how much better this is. People are staring."

"Like I can see them," Christian said, as he patted his tray, looking for food. In the process, he knocked over his juice. "Uh, I think I spilled, and it's getting on my pants."

"I guess we're done," Miz said, pushing his tray back. "JJ, can you help Christian get changed?"

"Sure," JJ said. "We'll meet you in the car, Undertaker."

"I'm going to go check on Punk and the others," Miz said. "Should we wake Mark?"

"I say let him sleep," Christian said. "We'll be back in a minute anyway and in the meantime, we won't have to deal with him being a shark or something."

"Or a car wash," Miz said, which caused Mark to sit up, grinning.

"I'm a car wash!" he announced.

Miz groaned. "I spoke too soon," he said. "I'm going outside. Take your time getting changed, Christian. I'm sure Jeff isn't done with his food just yet, anyway."