A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 48: Miz Enlists Help

"Of course you don't," Miz agreed, handing over the gum finally. "No bubbles," he told Matt, who pouted. "You don't want to get gum all over Matt's floors."

"But I'm really super good at bubbles!" Matt said.

Miz shook his head. "Not this time, buddy," he said. "Maybe when we're in the car."

"Yay!" Matt said.

"No!" Punk said. "I may be Jesus, but even I can't get sticky gum out of the carpet in the SUV!"

Miz stood up. "Maybe we ought to talk about this in the kitchen," he said to Jeff. "Where certain people can't hear what we're saying."

"Fine," Jeff said.

"Okay. Um, which way is the kitchen?"

Jeff sighed. "I'll show you. Right this way."

When they reached the kitchen, Miz sat down at the table. "I'm sorry we're springing this on you."

"What? The fact that Matt's nuts, or the fact that the rest of you are?"

Miz said, "I can see how you'd think that. But please, the thing about the robots in the WWE is true. We're in a lot of trouble. We escaped from their asylum and now they're probably looking for us."

"The robots have an asylum?"

"No! Vince has an asylum."

Jeff sat down across from Miz. "I'd like to believe you, Miz. I really would. But you aren't asking me to believe in something that makes sense. I mean, come on. Matt's been here off and on for the entire time that you claim he was in the hospital. How do you explain that?"

"The Matt you had here was a robot."

"I'm sorry," Jeff said. "I'm not buying that."

"Didn't he seem different to you? More aloof, maybe?"

"Well, he's been working a lot," Jeff said with a shrug.

"We stopped at the Chuckwagon, and the waitress said that you and Matt are in there a lot, and that you seem to be arguing almost constantly. Yet Matt had no recollection of ever being in there before today. How do you explain that?"

"Honestly?" Jeff said. "I figured he was getting into some kind of heavy drugs. I even confronted him on it at the Chuckwagon… Oh." He frowned. "Come to think of it, his behavior has been getting weirder by the day."

"What did he say when you confronted him?"

"He laughed and told me that even if he were doing hard drugs, it was none of my business, so butt out. And then he went all brick wall on me."

"Brick wall?"

"You know, staring into space and completely ignoring me. It was like I'd ceased to exist, so I got the hell out of there."

"After paying the waitress, of course." Jeff gave him an odd look. "What? She mentioned it."

"Oh." Jeff ran a hand through his hair. "So that Matt in there is the real Matt and the one that's been living here is a robot?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Robot Matt's a jerk."

Miz chuckled. "Real Matt is kind of annoying."

Jeff smirked. "So what am I supposed to do with him? Especially if he thinks he's me?"

"That could get a bit confusing," Miz agreed. "But he doesn't think he's you all the time. If you call him Drew, he'll be either Matthew or Godzilla, depending."

Jeff stared at Miz. "Are you guys messing with me?"

"No," Miz said.

"And Punk is the only one on drugs?"

Miz said, "Well, we were all on something when we were at the asylum, but we should be clean now."

"So that Matt… is really my brother?"

"Yeah," Miz said. "Scary, right?"

Jeff blinked. "I guess it makes a weird kind of sense. Except why does he think he's me?"

"Maybe he's jealous?" Miz said. "You did have that whole feud over the belt thing going on."

"Yeah, but that's just creative. You know that."

"Sure," Miz said, "but what if it wasn't? He sold it pretty well, Jeff. What if he was honestly jealous of you?"

"Then he's really lost his mind," Jeff muttered. "What does he have to be jealous of?"

"Dude," Miz said, "you're not even with the company any more and he's still living in your shadow. What wouldn't he be jealous of? You're a complete success and he's just hanging on, waiting for someone to notice him and give him a shot at something."

Jeff sighed. "I cracked under the pressure. Matt's so much stronger than me."

"Is he really?" Miz asked, standing up. "Or is he currently in his own living room, pretending to be you while chewing an entire pack of gum?" He pushed open the kitchen door to show Jeff what Matt was doing. "Jeff! I thought we agreed! No bubbles!"

"I'm a bubble!" Mark said, dancing past the door. "See me float away. Whee!"

Miz let the door fall closed with a sigh. "You see what I'm working with? There are moments when Matt is the least weird guy out there."

Jeff shook his head. "Where are you headed after this?"

"Miami."

"Good. I'll come with you. Orlando's on the way. That'll give me a chance to talk to Dixie about taking some time off. Matt needs me, and I'm not going to let him down again."

"Thanks," Miz said. "Oh, one more thing."

"What?"

"You're driving your car down to Orlando, right?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Then your brother and Betsy can ride with you."

"Okay." Jeff paused. "But who's Betsy?"

"Ask your brother," Miz said with a grin. "I'm sure he'll tell you all about him."