A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 49: Miz Gets Rolling

They woke up early the next morning, as Miz was eager to get back on the road. After a quick consultation with Jeff, Miz got everyone rounded up and back into the SUV, with the exception of the Hardys. JJ and Christian took the very back seat, leaving Orton to sit next to Mark in the middle and Punk in the passenger seat. They were an hour down the road when Punk said, "It's so much quieter without Matt and Betsy."

"I don't have anyone to bother," said Randy with a sigh.

"I'm a ring tailed lemur," Mark muttered.

Miz glanced in the rear view mirror. "I wonder how Matt and Jeff are getting along?" he said, watching Jeff's car for a second before turning his attention back to the road.

"Maybe he's Matthew right now," said Randy sadly. "Or Godzilla."

"He's probably Jeff or Matt," Punk said, trying to console the Viper.

"Maybe," said Randy.

"Hey, maybe we ought to play a game," Punk said.

"I'm a game," Mark said, perking up. "In fact, I'm the game!" He grabbed his water bottle and spit water into the air, showering Miz and Randy in the process.

"Ew!" Miz said, swerving. "Don't do that!"

"But I'm Triple H!" Mark said.

"I'd bite you," Randy said to Mark, "but we're both covered in spitty water, and it's gross."

"Well, that explains why he's never bitten Triple H," Punk said to Miz.

"Hmm, it's kind of like Viper repellant," Miz agreed. "Good to know."

Randy pouted and settled for hitting Mark. "Ow! Randy hit me!" Mark said.

"Well, you did get us all covered in gross spitty water," Miz said.

"I'm fine," Punk said. "The water missed me."

"Us too," Christian said, while JJ nodded.

"Maybe I should let one of you drive," Miz said. "It's hazardous up here."

"Oh, me!" said Mark. "I'm a formula one racer!"

"No!" Miz said. "I was thinking more along the lines of the blind guy or the drug addict, or maybe the guy with anger issues. Or JJ, if he wants to."

"I am not a drug addict!" Punk said.

"Thanks, Undertaker," JJ said from the back, "but I'm good here."

"We're playing cards," Christian said.

"How are you playing cards?" Punk asked. "You're blind."

"I don't have to see the cards," Christian said. "JJ tells me what they are."

"I see. And how are you doing? Are you winning?"

Christian frowned. "I haven't won a hand yet, no. But I'm pretty sure I will this time." He held his cards up to JJ. "What have I got?"

"A pair of twos," JJ said.

Randy leaned over to look at the cards, then said to Punk, "He's got three aces."

"Darn, lost again," Christian said, handing his cards to JJ. "Another round?"

"Sure," JJ said. "Double or nothing?"

Christian sighed. "I already owe you a million dollars and the deed to my house. What else is there?"

"JJ!" Miz said.

"Don't judge me," JJ said.

"I can!" Punk told him. "Since I'm the son of God, I can totally judge you."

Randy frowned. "Can I play the loser?"

"Note to self," Miz muttered, "next time we have a poker night, invite Christian."

"I'm a rabid seal!" Mark said, snatching the cards from JJ and flinging them into the air. Miz swerved, distracted.

"Maybe you should let me drive," Punk said, "before you get pulled over for driving like you're drunk."

"Oh, sure," Miz said, "and if you get pulled over, that will be better?"

Punk shrugged. "I never get tickets. I'm Jesus. No one's going to cite the savior of all of mankind for driving too fast."

"No, but they might lock you up in the loony bin and throw away the key."

"Been there," Punk said, making eye contact with Miz, "escaped that."

"Not without my help!"

"Oh, please. What did you do?" Punk asked.

"Got plans from the cat?" Miz said. "Pulled everyone together?"

"The plan you got from the cat was awful," Punk said.

Miz shrugged. "Doesn't mean I didn't do it."

"Maybe you should throw him out," Mizbert said from her spot in the bag near Punk's feet.

"I need him," Miz said.

"Do you?" the Miz mallow asked.

"Who are you talking to?" Punk asked.

"Mizbert."

"Don't listen to her; she hates me," Punk said.

"And besides," Pixie said, crawling into Punk's lap and purring, "you're right. You do need Punk."

"Could someone hand me a Pepsi?" Punk said suddenly, his eyes on Pixie. "Pixie wants me to drink the holy drink and celebrate life."

Miz sighed. "He's demented."

"So? You're all demented," the cat countered.

"Drink more Pepsi," Punk sang softly to the purring cat. "Drink more Pepsi, drink more Pepsi."

"Although he is more demented than most," Pixie amended, rubbing her head against Punk's arm. "But I like him. He's got a certain appealing nuttiness to him."

"I miss Matthew," Randy sighed.

"I'm Matthew?" Mark said. "Grr."

"That's Godzilla," Randy said.

"Oh." Mark frowned. "Then I've got nothing, sorry."

"Hey, Undertaker?" JJ said from the back. "We may have a problem."

"Oh?"

"Drew and Spongebob just took the last exit off the freeway."

"Spongebob?" Miz echoed. "He's not even a wrestler!"

"It does sort of fit, though," Punk said. "Jeff did always seem like a cartoon character to me."

"I guess if anyone was going to be one," Miz said, "that makes the most sense. Okay, thanks, JJ." He sighed and got over so he could take the next exit. "I wonder why they pulled off?"

"Maybe they had to go to the bathroom or something," said Punk with a shrug. He took another drink of his Pepsi. "That might be a good idea, anyway."

Miz got off on the exit, then hopped the freeway going the opposite direction. He took the next exit. "Guess we'll know why in a minute," he said. "There they are."