A/N: Dang does time run away when you're not looking, huh?! I am mortified that took me more than two weeks to update. I will admit that writer's block had been a problem, lately, so I will understand if this chapter is found wanting. But ho hum, I shall redeem myself.

Disclaimer: Well, you know the deal, the Lost Boys I own not.

Enjoy!

XII.

I felt a gentle shake on the shoulder, the endless dark still wanting to hold onto my mind, but I forced my eyes open and saw Laddie looking at me with worry.

I still found myself ironically amused at how much had happened in just a few days.

Laddie, much like every other one I'd encountered, didn't look like a kid stuck halfway between immortality and humanity.

But that's what he was.

Yes, the boys had done the one thing I didn't even think them capable of. To save my life, which I knew now was truly in danger, they had turned Laddie into one of us.

Not that the little guy minded, after a while. Once David had explained what his life would be like now, he seemed thrilled at the idea of living forever with me and the boys.

But I still found myself inwardly screaming to wake up and find Laddie human and asleep on my couch. No such luck.

The same night I ran into that new kid from Arizona is when it happened.

I was sitting on the couch with Dwayne, watching Laddie chat away with Star and Paul. Marko had gone off with some girl he met on the boardwalk and David was observing us from his throne as usual.

I still felt bad for Star sometimes, it was obvious that the boys just tolerated her.

But with Laddie they were like older brothers, joking around and being idiots, just to keep the kid entertained. I had been concerned at first when Laddie had practically screamed that I was his new mom as soon as he caught sight of the boys. Truthfully I didn't care if they didn't approve, Laddie was my responsibility and I didn't expect the boys to look after him for me, but I was shocked at how easily they took him in, immediately treating him like family.

For a few short hours, while Laddie was running around the cave having a ball, I was truly happy. Despite the supernatural side of it, I was with my friends, guys I had come to love like family, a guy I loved more than anything in the world, and a kid that needed me and loved me, and who I loved right back.

In the midst of all the happiness, I was trying desperately to ignore whatever the hell my body was doing the whole night. Since I'd woken up that afternoon, I couldn't stop shaking. Not from the cold, I mean hello it was summer, but just from not having the strength to be still.

For the tenth time that night, I felt my chest constrict slightly as I was sitting against Dwayne, my breath hitching at the horrible feeling of my heart skipping a beat.

It went in this order several times. First I would get a pain in my chest, then the breathing thing, then the cramps in my stomach. After that I'd feel my hands start to shake and I'd be unable to stop it. Then it was like a haze would settle on my mind, making my eyes and ears go all fuzzy.

I was scared. Really scared of what was happening.

Dwayne would always notice when I was having these little attacks, and I could tell he would get angrier and angrier every time I told him to stop worrying about it.

Truth be told I was freaking out myself, but I didn't want to give him more reason to try and convince me to feed. Which I suspect was the cause of this sickness.

I was sitting waiting out the latest fit, my heavy head resting on Dwayne's shoulder, letting my eyes drift closed. If I just rested for a few minutes, maybe it would pass. It seemed to be working, then through the haze I heard I heard David's words.

"So, Laddie, what would you say to living with us forever?"

I immediately knew where this was going. I tried to stand but as soon as I lifted my head I couldn't hold it there, and I fell back. Dwayne sat up and caught as soon as I tried to move, my head lolled back onto his shoulder and I heard his voice say in my ear, "This is for your own good, Sarah."

I wasn't sure exactly what he was referring to, but my eyes were still straining to see Laddie across the room from me.

He was gazing down at an object I had come to loathe with my entire being. Star was standing nearby, her face twisted in fear at the sight. I desperately hoped she'd stop Laddie, since I barely had to the strength to even stand. But as soon as Laddie started lifting the bottle I forced myself to stand through the haze and started walking over to him, wanting to grab that fucking bottle and throw it into the ocean. Dwayne caught me by the waist and held me back, my struggle in his grip proving futile. Laddie was staring at me in confusion so I said desperately, "Don't drink it, Laddie, you don't have to. Please, sweetheart." I had never sounded so scared before. I screwed my eyes shut as the dizziness threatened to take over again and I could feel myself getting heavier in Dwayne's arms.

David must have spun him some tale during my doze on the couch, because he stepped behind Laddie and put a hand on his shoulder, "Sarah, don't you want Laddie to live with us?"

For a moment the boy's eyes filled with hurt at David's words. I turned to David with a sudden and burning hate.

"Don't you dare, David."

I tried to step forward again but my legs were leaden, the anger making it easier for my body to give up the fight against sleep.

David leaned down to whisper in Laddie's ear, "Drink it Laddie, be one of us. Stay with us forever."

I let out a desperate whimper, the sound barely audible and the only thing I had the strength left to do.

Laddie looked at me again and I tried to shake my head.

"Laddie… Laddie NO!" I screamed as he lifted the bottle and I fell, losing all the strength I had left and succumbing to the black.

All I kept thinking was why, why was David so determined to destroy me?

The haze lifted slowly, the usual pain that filled my body after passing out like this was the first thing I was aware of. After a few minutes of lying waiting for the nausea and pain to pass, I lifted myself up slowly. Hands gripped my shoulders and helped me up, my mind vaguely registering that it was Dwayne. I wanted to crawl up in his arms and spend the rest of my life there, the fear of what was happening to me making me vulnerable and desperate to be looked after. I did just that, pulling my heavy arms up and wrapping them around his neck. Dwayne wasn't a fan of cuddling, but he would always just hold me until I felt better. Now as he rocked me gently I went over what had happened just before I passed out.

"Laddie, where is he?" I said weakly as I forced myself to stand. My legs were still shaky but I started walking over to the beds that were in the room, hoping to see him there and sleeping peacefully. He wasn't anywhere in the cave, in fact Dwayne and I were the only ones here.

"He's fine, Sarah. Star and Paul took him back to the boardwalk for a while. He was quite worried about you."

I went cold as I remembered what David had done last night, the hate and fury returning and making my chest tighten painfully.

Still with my back to him I said quietly, "He's not fine, though. Is he, Dwayne?" I turned my head slowly without moving from my sport, my voice was filled with so much venom that it made Dwayne pause and frown. I only gave him a few seconds to think about my question before I turned around fully and slapped him across the face as hard as I could.

His head only turned a fraction from the force, but I didn't care as I carried on striking him with my fists, screaming insults at him hysterically.

"You SON OF A BITCH!" I pushed him away from me and took several steps back, tears streaming down my face from the betrayal. I bumped into a table and turned around, tipping it over and kicking it the stuff that was on it. I always knew what the boys were, but I had managed to ignore it for the most part. But the fact that they would do this to a kid made me realise what I had gotten myself into.

And I couldn't put into words how angry I was.

Dwayne hadn't moved at all since I'd started attacking him, his face a mask of indifference while I broke down.

"Why did you do that?" I gripped my head in my hands, feeling the nausea rising again, and started pacing, "He is a baby, Dwayne! What were you thinking?"

I couldn't figure out why they would turn Laddie, what they could possibly have to gain from it. Laddie had his whole life ahead of him, and now that was basically over.

When Dwayne still didn't answer I carried on my furious rant.

"Of all the things you have taken from me, why couldn't you let me keep Laddie to myself?! I love you, Dwayne but I am not your toy! You don't get to do this to me. Laddie was my responsibility Dwayne. I didn't need you to interfere… AGAIN!"

He flinched as the words flew out of my mouth. The hurt look on his face was enough to make my temper still for a moment.

"What kind of life would he have had with you, Sarah?"

"Excuse me?" if he was trying to calm me down, he was doing a pretty crap job.

"You're a vampire, how were you going to look after him? You sleep during the day, there was no way it could have worked."

I took a step forward, my face twisted in anger and my voice low and threatening, "And whose fault is that?"

His eyes flashed for a second, "Sarah, we changed Laddie because he does need you. But you're dying, you're going to leave him with no one, now that he's one of us you two can be together forever."

"So this is all about me feeding, as usual."

"Yes, it is. Sarah I tried to tell you the other day, vampires don't die when they don't feed. But you will if you don't. There's a reason you're sick all the time lately, your body is rejecting the change and slowly shutting itself down. Pretty soon you will die, and Laddie will be left alone. Do you want that?"

"What do you mean, my body's rejecting the change, does that even happen?"

"Apparently. I never heard of it before, but then again none of us ever got sick like you before either."

He closed the distance between us and gripped my shoulders so tightly my fingers tingled.

"I'm not asking you anymore, Sarah. I won't lose you."

"Do you think I want to die, Dwayne?" I could feel my eyes fill with tears. "I tried to do this your way, remember? If I was capable of killing someone I think I would have done it by now."

"It's not that hard!" now he was starting to lose his temper. Dwayne was the quiet one, so when he shouted, it was a pretty huge deal. "There's stubborn, then there's just plain stupid."

My eyebrows lifted as his hidden meaning sunk in. I wasn't insulted at the fact that he just called me stupid, I knew it was his anger talking, so all I could feel was a little amused.

"Sarah you have to do this."

"No I have to breathe, eat and sleep. Everything else is optional. No matter how much you may try to change that for me."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh.

When he looked at me again his face had softened and he seemed a little calmer. His voice had quieted as well when he spoke.

"Tell me, Sarah."

"Tell you what?" I don't know why I even bothered asking, I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I was just stalling.

"What happened?"

I sighed, my eyes glued to his, and I knew I wasn't going anywhere until I had told him everything.

I sat down on a collapsed pillar and gripped my hands together, my knuckles turning white.

"I don't want to kill anyone, because I already have been the cause of someone's death and I know how that can destroy you."

I saw the pain in his eyes as he took in how much my past was hurting me. I think understanding finally dawned on him. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I sobbed silently, my shoulders shaking.

I hadn't really sat and thought about that day for years, managing to put it in the back of my mind and pretend to be happy.

But now everything was coming back, and it was crushing me slowly.

Dwayne was silent, his hands in fists at his sides. I could tell it was painful for him to watch me like this, but I couldn't care about him right now. All I could think about was what I had done.

As I sobbed I came to the realization that maybe I needed this. To just tell someone about it might make it easier to bear.

"There was a kid that used to hang out with me and my friends. He was younger than all of us, but he was into the whole deal and was desperate belong somewhere, plus he and I were really close, so I let him tag along." I paused as his face flashed in my head, my hand going to my mouth as another round of hysterical sobbing took over me.

"But when he started noticing just how screwed up everyone, including me, was, he tried to get me out. But I wouldn't listen, I was so in love with the life I had, doing what I wanted and when, that I didn't care about him anymore.

"One night we were on the beach and he was there, trying to get me to leave but I was pretty out of it so I wouldn't listen. Eventually Mitch and a friend of his got involved and it broke into a fight. He got pushed and hit his head, next thing I know I'm being dragged away, hearing sirens."

I rubbed my face with a hand, feeling the wetness on my cheeks.

Dwayne spoke for the first time then, "Why would you think that was your fault."

I looked at him as if a second head was sprouting out of his neck.

"I didn't listen to him, that's why!" I stood on shaky legs and looked him in the eyes for the first time since starting my story.

"He was trying to help me, and I was too fucking stoned to see it! And because of me…" I shook my head and laughed without humour, "Because of me, my parents lost their only son."

A/N: So there it is... reviews are candy!