A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 52: Miz And Jeff Have A Talk
"Hey, Jeff," Miz said. The others were eating, but Miz had been unable to get what Punk said out of his mind. Jeff stood on the porch of the restaurant, staring toward his car. "Aren't you hungry?"
Jeff continued to stare at the car and, beyond it, the road. "I keep thinking about when Matt and I were little, how things were. How he always protected me and looked out for me. And now he's in there, thinking he's me… He needs my help, more than I ever needed his, and the only thing I want to do is get in my car and run like hell." He glanced at Miz. "I guess that makes me a bad brother."
"I'd say that makes you human," Miz said. "Believe me, I know how you feel. These guys are… Well, they're crazy." He shrugged. "They're quirky and they have some serious problems. But they're also my friends. I could turn my back on them and walk away, and I don't think they'd fault me for it. But I don't know how I would live with myself if I did."
Jeff nodded. "Matt doesn't want me here," he said.
"Not right now," Miz agreed, "but he's in Jeff mode right now."
"Do you have any idea how weird that is?" Jeff asked. "Seeing him act so childish and say he's me?"
"I can only imagine."
"I'm not sure you can," Jeff said. "It's not just because it makes me wonder how my brother's seen me all these years. It's knowing that somehow, he's broken and being unsure if I can fix him, or if I'm even strong enough to try. It's knowing that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't think twice about it; he'd do what he had to do to make me better. I don't know if I can do that, Miz. He thought he was living in my shadow? I've been in his shadow my entire life."
Miz looked to the road. "Look, I'm not going to lie to you. This is hard. Those guys in there all have something wrong with them. Me too. And on top of that, we're dealing with this whole WWE and robot thing. But listen, Jeff. I need your help. No matter what you decide about traveling with us, I need you not to mention the robot thing to anyone. I said something to HHH when I found out, and that's what landed me in the hospital. If you say something to Dixie or anyone else in TNA… I don't know how safe any of us will be."
Jeff pursed his lips. "You're right," he said. "I may as well stay with you guys because if word gets out about this, Vince isn't going to leave me alone just because I work for TNA."
Miz nodded. "Exactly. We could all end up with cement shoes at the bottom of the lake if we're not careful about this. JJ knows someone who can help us, which is why we're going to Smackdown. If we can get the word out the right way, Vince wouldn't dare touch us."
"I don't know," Jeff said. "A billion dollars goes a long way in burying people and making it look like an accident, Miz. There are people out there, willing to take the dive just so their families would be supported forever."
"I have to have faith in the system," Miz said. "It's all I've got right now." He paused. "Well, that and those guys in there. I'm going to go eat. Are you coming?"
"In a minute," Jeff said. "But don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."
"Good," Miz said. "See you in a bit."
"Oh, you're back," Punk said, when Miz sat down at the table. "Your food was getting cold, so Mark ate it."
Miz said, "Oh. Well, I'll order some more, I guess."
"I'm kidding," Punk said. "I had the waitress put it in the oven so it would stay warm and so Mark wouldn't eat it. But he's so busy being a baked Mr. Potatohead that he doesn't want anything. In fact, when Orton started to eat his mashed potatoes, Mark started crying and wailing about his poor babies." He smirked. "Took us five minutes to calm him down, and we had to tell him that his fries were snake babies and he was getting Orton back by eating them."
Miz paused and leaned over so that Mark wouldn't overhear them. "So you told a guy who thinks he's a potato that his French fries were snake babies and had him eat them?" Punk shrugged. "What are you going to do if he figures out they're really made of potatoes?"
"I'm not too worried about it. Matt stole most of the fries and ate them when Mark wasn't looking."
The waitress returned then. "Oh, your friend is back, I see," she said to Punk. "Would you like your plate now?"
"Thanks," Miz said.
"And I think I'm ready to order as well," Jeff said, pulling his chair out and sitting down at the table.
Miz smiled at Jeff. Punk said, "What did you say to him out there, anyway?"
"Not much. He made the decision to come back on his own."
Punk nodded. "Well, I'm glad he's back."
"Are you?" Miz asked, surprised.
"Of course!" Punk said. "The next time we're in a store, he's going to hold Matt's hand. I'm finally free!"
Miz chuckled. "I'm not sure how Matt's going to feel about that."
"He'll get over it. Hey, who's going to ride with Jeff this time?"
"Maybe you, me and Matt ought to," Miz said.
"Then who's going to drive the SUV?"
"JJ?" Miz said with a shrug. "We'll have to talk about it after dinner."
"Tomorrow, we'll be in Florida," Punk said. "Are you ready for that?"
"No really, no. But I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be," Miz sighed.