Title: Last Thing You'll Do
Author: Calliope-plantain
Rating: M
Pairing:Regina/Emma
Disclaimer: I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.
Storyline: Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.
Author's Note:This story is largely based on a dream I had.
Beta: Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed are her fault ;)
"The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer.
The gentle opening and closing of the front door might as well have been slammed as the noise carried through the silent house. Regina stiffened, bracing herself for the inevitable row that was about to explode once the blonde reached the kitchen. The older woman could hear each movement Emma made in her journey towards her position, each step getting louder the closer she got.
The dishevelled Sheriff appeared in the doorway, now her signature red jacket and boots shred, Regina assumed in their rightful places. Emma looked exhausted. The former queen had watched her love get more tired and stressed as her work load had increased in the last month. That stress and anxiety had manifested in tension headaches in the young blonde, something Regina was well accustomed to in her days as Mayor. Snow made no exceptions or allowances for her daughter now she had taken the position of Mayor. Emma was her town's Sheriff and would do the work that was needed, even if the result was the drained woman stood in their doorway.
Regina allowed herself a moment to enjoy the other woman's presence; nearly two years together hadn't lessened the feelings of butterflies at seeing the woman she loved. The moment however passed as she remembered her irritation. Emma had been working herself to the bone, and Regina had wanted to make the night special. Make Emma feel special and looked after. Loved. And the woman hadn't turned up! "You're late" Regina stated her tone carrying years of authority.
Emma seemed to sag slightly against the door frame, it now keeping her up. "I know. Sorry, I didn't expect things to go on so long" the blonde explained looking genuinely guilty.
"What's our rule, dear?" Regina asked ignoring the fatigued stance of the other woman. She wouldn't be angry for long. Emma had softened her, depending who you asked; both for better and worse. The "Evil Queen" had been tamed, and right now it wasn't something Regina was too happy about. The blonde had done something wrong and would be held responsible…for now.
"I know… You know what Mary Margaret has been like lately. Things just got the better of me and before I knew it I was late. I didn't mean to be", Emma explained; it seemed missing the point of this faux interrogation.
"What is our rule Miss Swan", she repeated her tone even to her own ears sounded deadly. "If you had better things to do all you had to do is call. You should have called to inform me that you wouldn't be here on time. I wouldn't have put the effort into a meal for us both, had I known you did not want to be here", Regina's voice commanding an almost lethal calm, while she felt her heart pound in her chest.
Emma seemed to sag under scrutiny; her arms were tightly crossed across her chest. Regina saw the moment the blonde cracked. Instead of Emma crumbling beneath her regal glare, she saw the flame erupt in the blonde's returning glower. "It's Miss Swan now? Sorry I don't think so. We haven't travelled back three years, just because I wasn't here exactly on time. As for rules? I wasn't aware I was in a relationship with my mother, Regina. I'm not five! I've said I'm sorry damn it. I didn't mean to be this late. Of course I wanted to be here!" Emma all but screamed at her. For a moment it felt good. Emma had always been her equal in their arguments. She had been the first person to challenge her, to stand up to her in almost thirty years.
The buzz of the argument however fizzled out as soon as it had come following the blonde's next words, "I didn't want to ruin your meal… I'm so sorry". Her voice cracking, whether with emotion or tiredness Regina didn't know. The teeth worrying the Sheriff's bottom lip suggested the former.
Rising from her seat Regina couldn't help but shake her head. "It's not ruined. It can be warmed. It wasn't my meal Emma", she explained emphasising the blonde's name. No she was no longer "Miss Swan" though Regina did sometimes revisit the name in the bedroom quite enjoying the effect it had on the younger woman. "I know how hard you've been working and I wanted to do something special for you. Give you the night off…to be taken care of", the brunette continued, coming to a standstill in front of the blonde. She could feel the static pouring from the other woman.
"I'm worried for you. You're working too hard and it's damaging your health" Regina explained slowly as if to a small child; she heard Emma's small sigh. The older woman risked placing her hand upon the blonde's forearm and was relieved to see it wasn't shrugged away. It was an argument which had been boiling away quietly for almost a month now both skirting the issue when possible in fear of the fallout. On the whole the brunette had kept her mouth shut, but it was becoming clear the work load was having a toll on Emma's physical and emotional state. "Have you considered asking your mother for some time off…reduced hours maybe?" Regina supplied gently knowing she was treading on very thin ice.
Once again Emma's emotions came crashing down upon her. "Ask for … are you kidding me Regina? I'm not incapable of doing my job", the other woman all but screamed at her. The former queen couldn't help but finch slightly at the look on Emma's face. Hurt, anger, and irritation to name a few of the emotions she could see and name. "I'm not going to skip off work just because I have a headache" Emma stated incredulously.
Regina fought the urge to clench the arm in her grip. She was inches away from throwing the woman backwards and screaming at her, herself. Emma just didn't get it. Emma didn't see sense. A Charming flaw. "It's not just headaches though is it?" Regina fought back, ignoring Emma's look of annoyance. "Every day this week you've woken feeling sick and on more than one occasion have been so after breakfast. You've been suffering with these headaches for over a month now. And you can go from the Emma I love to…" Regina hesitated for a moment. She wanted Emma to see she was worried but this fighting wasn't going to get them anywhere.
"What? To what" Emma bite back pulling her arm away from Regina's grasp. The former queen missed the contact immediately; the distance between them seemed to span miles.
"A bitch" the brunette added. She saw Emma's nostrils flare and continued before the other woman could interrupt. "Your concentration has gone. You've never had the greatest attention span but when it's needed you're always on the mark. Emma you need to stop and slow down. You need to talk to Snow, tell her you need time off. See Whale, he could prescribe something" Regina suggested though saw instantly she was saying all the wrong things.
"For god sake Regina. Will you just stop telling me what to do! I am stressed out of my mind; you'd think my girlfriend would be supportive…but no not you. Why do you need to control everything?" Emma shouted; her face inches away from Regina's. "These headaches aren't much worse than the ones I had when you had me working off my feet. You didn't give a damn then…why now? Because my mother has your job and now you're screwing me?" the blonde finished her breaths coming out hard and laboured.
If Regina was honest with herself it took all her willpower not to slap Emma across the face. She could feel the buzz of her magic beneath her skin. Emma's only saving grace was the shocked expression which took form across her entire face as her last word fell from her lips. Green eyes looked at her wide and full of guilt. It wasn't the first time in the last month Emma had spoken to her like this though usually it ended before Emma had gotten so forceful…so malicious. It normally ended with one of the women storming out, and thankfully only had happened a few times.
"Regina. I'm sorry. I…" Emma whispered; sounding so genuine it almost broke her heart further.
Regina put her hand up to stop Emma talking which ceased at once. Swallowing slightly, keeping her emotions at bay Regina's hand balled into a fist in the air. "Just…stop" the brunette's voice shook, though she wasn't sure whether it was with anger or hurt. The blonde looked back at her eyes still wide with the shock at her latest outburst. "Go have a shower. I will warm our meal through" Regina stated her voice sounding much calmer than her felt inside.
Emma shook her head slightly, moving forward to mirror Regina's former position with her own hand now resting on the brunette's raised forearm. "I am so sorry. I don't think that. I don't" Emma explained sounding panicked her lover wouldn't believe her. Regina did believe her but it didn't stop it from hurting.
"I need you to go upstairs and have a shower. I will warm the food through and we will eat when you come back down. I need a moment Emma, so please…go" Regina asked, stepping backwards allowing Emma's hand to fall from her arm. The older woman knew she was begging the blonde with her eyes; she didn't care. She couldn't help the fleeting relief she felt when Emma's head lowered as she turned to do as she was asked.
At the foot of the stairs however the broken woman turned to face her again. "I'm sorry. I love you, you know" Emma said with so much sincerity it hurt.
Regina felt her breath catch in her chest. "I know" was her simple reply before retreating into kitchen. Leaning backwards once she was out of sight, Regina waited a moment to catch her breath as she listened to Emma ascend up the stairs with the grace of a baby elephant. Something their son had gotten from his birth mother.
Regina didn't like warming food in the microwave, but tonight she would have to make the exception. Pulling the several plates out of the fridge she set about warming their meal. Another glass of wine was poured for herself, Emma could choose between wine and her own beers in the fridge. Within minutes her heels were kicked off and cast aside, she could remove them to their rightful place on her way to bed. Emma had seen her effort, through had shown no sign of acknowledging it.
Regina could just hear the noise of the microwave over the sound of her own breathing as she leant against the countertop. This wasn't how this night was supposed to go. It was meant to be fun. It was meant to be rememberable for its lack of excitement … or at least excitement of a different kind. The two women barely saw each other. Around Henry and Emma's job the only time they saw each other were in the moments before and after sleep. That was if Emma didn't have to leave straight after dinner and come home after Regina was asleep, which had happened more frequently of late.
She couldn't shake the feeling that Emma was slipping away. Maybe not intentionally, but her work was taking her away from her family. Even Henry had complained about only seeing Emma at dinner time just as Charming had come to collect him. She didn't want to lose what they had. Their relationship was hard, all relationships are. Their dynamic mixed with Snow's disapproval of their relationship made things very difficult at times. It was one thing that Regina didn't blame Snow for, but she wouldn't lose Emma.
Tonight's fight was her fault. She had attacked Emma as soon as she'd walked through the door. She had sensed the argument, or maybe she'd caused it. Maybe it was her who was pushing Emma away as much as Snow was dragging her away. Regina's heart clentch at the thought. When it was just been them, when they were just Emma and Regina; and not Henry's mothers or The Saviour and the Evil Queen, things had been perfect. Something that Regina would never had said she would get, never mind deserved. She never thought she'd find her happiness in the daughter of the woman she hated more than anyone else. Regina made an effort because of Henry and Emma, but her feelings towards Snow were still no secret. Neither were Snow's towards her.
Regina jumped as the microwave indicated the first plate's warming period over with loud beep. Dragging herself over the first plate was replaced by the second; and the warmed plate was covered to ensure the heat remained. No noises came from the floors above. Regina often wondering if Emma's inability to refuse her mother was from fear Snow would reject her. She wasn't sure she'd ever feel guiltless over that very thought.
Regina felt tears form in her eyes as her brain replayed the Sheriff's harsh words. Did Regina treat Emma more like she was her mother than lover? She didn't mean to if she did. She wanted what was best for both the blonde and their son. She wanted to protect and look after the two people who meant most to her. She loved Emma. In the start she had denied it, she couldn't even now pinpoint the moment when she fell in love, neither the moment she realised it. It was rather poetic; the Evil Queen falling in love the Saviour.
Emma thought Regina sort to control her? She didn't. Regina liked order that was true, she preferred notice if plans were going to be changed. That didn't make her a bad person did it? She wanted Emma to be … Emma the woman she'd fallen in love with. She didn't want a twisted replica of herself in Emma form. Sure there were things about Emma which annoyed the former mayor, most of which Emma knew about and would use whenever they were in an argument, just to annoy her further. Something Emma hadn't done tonight. What did that mean? Was the fight just a result of fatigue or something else?
Her suggestion that Emma took time off came from a place of love and concern, not need to control. The last few weeks Regina had tried to stay awake the nights Emma had needed to go back to work. She had stayed awake and worried about the woman who should have been lying next to her. The bed now felt too big, too suffocating without the other woman in it. Regina had spent hours over the last week alone worrying about Emma's rapid decline in health. That was where the suggestion had come from, nothing more. Did Emma really believe differently? Did she really see Regina as her non-supportive partner?
The blonde had said Regina only cared because she was the sheriff to her mother. Did she think Regina was only with her to have some influence over the town, and the decisions made by the present mayor? Emma had been right. Regina hadn't cared about Emma's wellbeing when she was appointed Sheriff under her rule. She hadn't seen the impact Regina's persistence of paperwork amongst other things had had on the younger woman. She hadn't cared to notice. Back then Regina saw Emma as a threat. Time Emma spent working was time she wasn't spending with Henry. She had believed it was what was best for Henry.
Her views had changed. Her actions and feelings towards Emma had changed…long before their relationship had started. If she had known, she'd like to have thought she would have lessened the work load. Maybe not then, but now. Now she would rip the paperwork out of Emma's hands and drag her kicking and screaming from the sheriff's office if that's what it took. Regina couldn't help the sad smile at the thought it of; because that's probably what it would take.
She loved Emma. She was in love with her. Everything about her, and she wouldn't lose her. Not over a job. Not over her mother or a stupid argument. Emma had to know where her worries came from. That she only wanted what was best…
Regina jumped slightly as she felt strong arms engulf her from behind, strong hands gliding across her stomach; pulling her away from her musings. Sighing deeply she inhaled the smell she'd come to associate with the other woman. Vanilla, spice and tint of something she's yet to discover its name but was the pure essence of Emma Swan. A gentle kiss is placed at the base of Regina's neck making her shiver ever so slightly.
Emma's chin came to rest on Regina's shoulder and she could feel the blonde's breath tickle the side of face. It was only then she realised she was standing in front of a dark microwave, though this time it seemed it's bleeping had not been enough to awaken her from her thoughts.
She felt rather than heard Emma's deep but shaking breath as the blonde rested her head in the crux of Regina's neck; as if she was trying to breathe her in. "I'm sorry" came the small whisper next to her ear. Without looking Regina knew she meant it, and knew if she did she'd find tears in the blonde's eyes.
"I know" Regina's whispered reassurance broke the silence.
"I'm going to see Mary Margaret tomorrow", Emma explained softly, her damp hair slightly sticking to the side of Regina's face. The brunette swallowed slightly, and couldn't but give a small smile. Emma was finally doing to do something about it. Finally looking after herself.
"I wasn't telling you to do anything", Regina said gently, one of her own hands joining Emma's. It wasn't often Emma held her like this, but it always made her feel safe. Made her feel special.
"I know. But you were right. It needs to stop. I can't keep hurting you and Henry like this", Emma said her voice cracking considerably. Regina wanted to turn but Emma's grip around her waist made it impossible. "I want to be here. I don't want to lose you. Either of you", the blonde's voice shook dangerously.
"You won't" Regina reassured. Once again she tried to turn but Emma seems to have her pinned in place against the counter. "Emma please?" she begged, needing to comfort the clearly distressed woman behind her.
It took a moment to feel the body against her shift, and Regina wasted no time in turning in Emma's arms. Regina saw the first tear fall as their eyes met. The brunette's arms easily slid around Emma's neck, pulling her back in close. "No one is losing anyone. You got that" Regina said with as much conviction as she could manage.
She wasn't sure if she felt Emma nod but her arms tightened around Regina's back pulling her in impossibly close. An answer all the same. Regina could feel the heat of Emma's body through the blonde's robe. The former queen was no hugger. She did not do hugs. Or cuddles. If you asked anyone who was not the woman in her arms or their son, they would have said the Evil Queen did not do hugs. But in the arms of the two most important people in her life, she felt safe. She felt home. They knew and loved her for who she really was.
"I didn't mean any of it", Emma mumbled into Regina's shoulder. The older woman placed a gentle kiss into the damp hairline next to her face. Pulling back slightly, she could see in Emma's eyes she didn't mean it. The brunette gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile. Emma on the other hand cast her eyes away.
Regina knew her lips pursed as she felt the urge to sigh. "I know" she repeated. "Henry is at your parents' for the night, it's just us. I just wanted some us time where I could pamper you in any way you saw fit without our teenage son looking at us as if he's going to die of embarrassment", Regina explained unable to help the slight flirtatious tone and smile as she tried to catch Emma's avoiding eye.
"I didn't mean to ruin our night", the other woman gave her whispered apology to the patch of counter top a foot or so from Regina's shoulder. The former queen knew her own anger and frustration came from her desire to look after her love, while Emma's anger and easy submission came from a place of exhaustion. Regina couldn't help the tug of guilt upon her chest. Wanting the night to be easy, enjoyable and stress free was never going to be achievable by attacking the woman as soon as she stepped foot in the house.
"Hey..." Regina reassured. The blonde's shoulders lowered slightly at the tone. "It's not. Delayed. But not ruined." The brunette continued with a loving smile, still trying to catch Emma's eye. "I'm sorry I got angry with you, I worry and I plan; always thinking the worst" she explained, hoping Emma would understand. She wasn't always good at explaining herself. She tried and often arguments erupted through miscommunication.
The older woman weaved her hand into the damp blonde tresses tugging slightly, making Emma move to look her directly in the eye. "I love you", she reassured watching the other woman's eyes raise to her own. She watched as the smile on Emma's lips started small turned into a full blown beam; a smile she couldn't help but return.
Regina couldn't help but claim those lips. The kiss wasn't urgent or rushed; but soft and tender. She couldn't help but notice the taste of blonde's salty tears which had fallen and died upon her lips as her tongue slid across the bottom one ever so slightly. Pulling away she couldn't help but smile at the slightly dreamy expression on woman before her, whose eyes had yet to open.
"I'm still…" Emma breathed.
"Don't you dare say you're sorry" Regina bite back with a slight smirk. She watched as Emma risked opening one eye. "I know", she supplied yet again with a nod and yet another reassuring smile. The dreamy smile increased to a full beaming grin.
"Were you saying you thought I needed a shower…was I not good enough as I was" Emma asked with a start, eyebrow raised possibly in concern that Regina thought it. The older woman pushed away the need to tell Emma to not remind her of her second of weakness. Her need to run, and shelter herself; if only for a moment. Regina couldn't lie she had become accustomed to Emma's usual attire and loved it when Emma made an effort outside of her iconic wardrobe but the other woman would always look beautiful no matter what she wore.
"Of course you were…and are. You're beautiful; a shower simply tidied you up around the edges and readied you for the night ahead…" Regina breathed, watching Emma's eyes flicker and darken slightly. The blonde gave no come back. Her only answer was a sudden hard and forceful kiss which knocked Regina off kilter, allowing her the other woman to spin her slightly and be pushed against the counter behind her. Before Regina could deepen the kiss Emma had pulled away slightly panting.
Regina couldn't help the breathless chuckle. Talk about their night doing a full three-sixty. "We should really have our meal. I won't be able to reheat it again" Regina said her words sounding rushed. She received a grin from her lover.
Emma leant forward slightly again, pushing her whole robe-clad length into older woman, causing Regina to gasp. "On one condition…you put your heels back on" Emma supplied, her eyes glimmering darkly. Regina couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine at the unabashed way the blonde's eyes travelled down her body. Emma had noticed, and it had been appreciated.