The day after I stayed over at Alison's, things were looking great at school. Ali, I and the other girls all had lunch together and talked about mundane topics like food recipes and reality TV shows, and it all felt right. We had left out the topic of A for a change, and we also didn't mention the fight that Ali had gotten into with Mona the previous day. Mona had followed her to the church, where they started throwing insults at each other, until Mona lost it and mercilessly slapped Ali. According to Alison's story, she reacted to it by "walking away". But with Ali's stories you always have to watch out for twists and turns, and hidden messages, and most importantly, lies. This story was no different, as Mona had proved with a recording on her phone, showing that Alison had slapped her back without any trace of hesitation. And so the perfect day we were having was no longer perfect.

I was really upset that Ali lied about her fight with Mona. I thought she could confide in me, I felt so stupid for thinking we were completely honest with each other. But then again, Ali had never been completely honest with anybody. I got even more upset when she tried to kiss me the same day, when we were in my room. She apologized, but everything she said sounded like empty words. Eventually the breaking news about the girl in her grave came on TV and we called everyone over to my house.

Toby's house had blown up, and I felt like a traitor for only being worried about Ali's safety. I was waiting for my wake up call, but it never seemed to come.

French class started being a lot less about French and a lot more about glancing over at Alison since her return. I don't understand how she even caught up on this material. She says she learned it from her French magazines, and I wouldn't have any trouble believing her, but then I remember she was on the run for 2 years. Did she have time to read magazines and obsess over her favorite stars, but didn't save time to tell me she's really alive? This kind of thoughts stole the better part of my day, and I struggled to suppress them as soon as I felt them coming.

The bell rang announcing lunch break and both Ali and I had a free period after lunch, so we decided to go over to my house and watch a movie while feasting on food better than what the cafeteria offered. She stood up and walked over to my desk, and after I finished stuffing all my books in my backpack she grabbed my hand and led the way to the hallway.

"I'm so excited to get away from this school for a couple hours, if I spend 5 more minutes here I'll start to think I suffer from severe claustrophobia… Em, you aren't still mad at me, are you?"

I looked over at her and then glanced downwards.

"I'm not mad… I'm scared, confused… I want to be able to trust you."

"And you can. Emily, I promise all the lying and the pretending are far behind me."

"Look, Ali, I wanna believe you but you make it so hard. You've been on a roll with new lies ever since you got back, and it hasn't been that long since that happened."

Alison looked hurt, and I almost felt bad for what I said. I couldn't stand seeing Ali sad, but I wanted to make sure that what we share is real.

We walked to my house holding hands the entire way and I only pulled my hand away to check the mailbox before going inside. I opened it and there were 3 envelopes inside. I started going through them. The first was from the bank, the next some bill that had to be paid, and the third…

When I got to the third envelope, I was feeling so lightheaded and weak that I was sure I would collapse into unconsciousness.

"Em is everything alright? You don't look well" Ali said in a panicked voice.

I tried to clear my throat to make way for coherent words but I couldn't. Instead I handed the envelope to Ali and covered my mouth with my shivering hand.

"Is this… This is from my mom? It can't be. My mom's… My mom's dead."

"Ali I'm so sorry, this must be a mistake, I don't understand… It's dated after her death" I said, feeling guilty for the envelope being at my house, and then broke down into quiet sobbing.

"Open it" Ali implored and I quickly ripped the seal open.

Look at you, my daughter's guardian angel. You're a good girl, Emily… Aren't you scared Alison is going to drag you into misery with her? Maybe you should be. Love, Jessica Dilaurentis

I read every word out loud to Alison. Beneath the signed name, there was a drawing of a tombstone with "RIP" inscribed on it. I couldn't be sure if it referred to Jessica's grave, or to the message itself: "Alison is going to drag you into misery…" Without a word, Ali went over to the porch and sat. She rested her elbows on her legs, and covered her face with her hands. I sat next to her and ran my hand up and down her back, hoping to give her a little comfort. But comfort was an unrealistic dream for Alison, or anyone close to her, because this nightmare was never ending. There was no chance at being happy, at being safe, at being whole.