Bro/Rose: Remember that time Bro and Rose constructed a giant tentacled smuppet which began cropping up in family holiday photos?
Dave was mortified that first Christmas when the Striders joined up with the Lalondes, because Bro insisted on bringing Cal and twelve near-finished smuppets. Well, mostly because of that. The other source of mortification had been Rose's fascination with the porn puppets.
He'd spent the holiday with his chin tucked into his hoodie, hiding his expressions of distaste in the swathes of cloth. Rose on the other hand, had spent her winter break colluding with Bro in a disturbingly excited manner. The both of them had disappeared sometime after dinner on the 23rd, and neither had reappeared until Christmas day to open presents.
With a friend…a stuffed friend. An eight-foot tall, knitted, stuffed friend with a smuppet's proboscis and an eldritch abomination's tentacles. And this Lovecraftian horrorterror boasted a nametag that read, in Bro's chicken scratch, Othuum Strilonde. Rose's mom had been so pleased with her daughter's nightmare creation that she'd proudly placed the thing at a place of honor at the dinner table.
He'd hardly been able to stomach the meatloaf, as he'd spent the entire meal seated across from a creature that seemed to have been culled from his deepest, darkest nightmares. Mom Lalonde had seemed upset by his lack of appetite, whereas Rose had exuded smug practically the entire grating hour spent seated at the table.
Bro had, before dinner but after all presents had been opened, bequeathed unto the monstrosity a pair of Kamina shades. And well, when Mom Lalonde had insisted that pictures be taken, "Family pictures, Dirk, we're taking family pictures," Rose, the only person with sustained issues with taking pictures, had swiftly capitulated when Othuum had been invited to join in.
And then Rose had seated her crafted calamity next to him, draped the yarn tentacles around his shoulder, and angled it so that the stiff dick-nose pushed uncomfortably into his cheekbone. "Okay, stay like that." She'd declared, before primly seating herself next to Bro and Mom-londe.
When the film had been developed, they'd all seen how nicely the photo had turned out. So Rose sent John and Jade a copy apiece. Complete with a letter on the updated conditions of little Othuum Strilonde.
And Dave slowly, over the course of around four different Strider-Lalonde gatherings, came to realize that the yarn Satan's spawn was going to be a long-term fixture in his future. Because if Bro wasn't insisting (ironically) that Othuum be included in their July 4th Barbeque Extravaganza Fuck-Tastic Annual Photo For Familial Pride, Rose dragged the thing into the frame of their Easter day pre-egg hunt photo.
After that, what choice did he have but to surrender (with as much grace as his tattered pride would allow) to the presence of the newest, most disturbing member of his family?