After the mailbox incident, Ali stayed over for about fifteen more minutes, then left and didn't show up to school for her last two classes. I tried telling her it's safer if we stick together, but she insisted she had to go; and I wanted to go with her, but she told me not to follow her. I went to my room and collapsed on my bed crying, and I couldn't stop until my chest felt like it was going to explode from the throbbing pain. Exhaustion threw me into deep slumber, and I only woke up 10 minutes before I had to be in class. I grabbed my bag, which was still on the porch where I'd left it, and jogged to school. I made it 5 minutes late, but luckily got away without detention.

When school was over, I still hadn't gotten any sign from Alison. I sent her nine texts asking if she got home safe, and to let me know where she is, and that I'm worried. On my way home I called her three times, but all I got was radio silence. I started getting nervous, and my thoughts were playing dramatic scenarios over and over in my head, so I decided I'd go to her house after dinner.

After I ate with mom, I excused myself and explained I needed to work on a project with Alison. Without a myriad of questions, my mom let me go, and I ran to Ali's so fast I started feeling nauseous. I rang her doorbell as I was catching my breath, but no one answered. I tried again, and again, and on the fifth try her dad opened the door.

"Good evening Mr. DiLaurentis. I was wondering if Alison's home?"

"Hi Emily, no she isn't, in fact she told me she was with you."

"N-no, I haven't seen her since lunch" I said stuttering, ready to break down in tears of exasperation.

Mr. DiLaurentis gave me a panicked look and I shifted my gaze towards Ali's window, because I couldn't stand not knowing where she was, and now having her father adding to my panic.

"Did you call the other girls? Maybe she went over to one of their houses?"

"I'll try calling them, I'll be right back."

"Come inside Emily, you don't have to leave."

"Thank you" I replied quickly and followed him into the living room.

I first called Aria as Mr. DiLaurentis was staring at me as if I couldn't notice him. To my despair, Aria said she hadn't seen Ali since we all gathered at the lockers at school. I tried Spencer and Hanna too, but they hadn't heard from her either.

"She's not with them…"

"I'm going to call the police."

In my state of delirium, I couldn't process if this was a good idea or not. Mr. D grabbed the phone and dialed 911. Just as he did so, my phone beeped and I pulled it out of my pocket to see it was a text from Alison: Sorry I haven't called you back. Meet me at the church. Don't let my dad know.

"911 what is your emergency?" I heard a woman's voice speaking through the phone.

"Mr. Dilaurentis, she's fine, I just contacted her!"

"Hello" he started on the phone, "My uh… My daughter was missing, but it was a false alarm. I apologize" and he hung up. "Where is she?"

"Umm she went to the Brew to grab coffee, she asked me to meet her there."

"Emily, I need to ask you something" he said, then cleared his throat and he sounded like he was getting prepared to deliver a speech. "Will you please tell me if my daughter is in trouble, or if she's going through any hardship..." his voice was hoarse and I was scared he might start crying, "I know I could've been a much better father to her, but I'm trying now, and I feel like she's pushing me away, I just don't know what to do… She's keeping her distance from me, but I want to be there for her every step of the way this time, I do, I really want to."

"I understand. She hasn't opened up that much to us either but if she lets me know of anything she's going through, I will let you know" I lied, and I felt terrible for it, but I wasn't going to throw the bomb on him about the letter from Ali's deceased mother.

I left the house and picked up my pace towards the church. When I finally got there, I rushed in not knowing what to expect. Ali was sitting on a bench, but she didn't turn towards me when I pushed the large wooden door open. I thought this to be rather strange considering there was clearly someone out there to get her, and it could be that someone in my place right then in the church.

I walked to the bench she was sitting on and when I looked at her disheveled face I had to hold back a gasp. She had trails of mascara running down her cheeks, and her face was so pale I barely recognized her. Without saying anything, I held her in a tight hug but she almost immediately pushed me away.

"Leave me alone, Emily, can't you see I'm toxic?" she said, but kept looking forward without glancing at me even once.

"Ali, where is this coming from? You can't just pretend I'm not here or that I don't care about you. Why did you call me here? Have you been drinking?" Ali's breath smelt of something strong.

"Why do you care, you shouldn't care about me, no one should care about me" her voice was bitter.

"Stop this nonsense Alison! Of course I care about you, and so do Aria, and Hanna, Spencer."

She responded with sarcastic laughter.

"Look Alison, I didn't spend 2 years crying over you only to be treated like I'm nothing now that you're back." I was getting angry.

She finally looked at me with her bloodshot eyes, and as her face softened, she forced a smile.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Emily, but you have to let me go. I don't belong here, okay? I never did."

"Stop it Alison! I love you, is that enough of a reason to make you stay?" And just as those words came out of my mouth, I gasped and Ali was stunned at the sound of them. I had meant to tell her I loved her for the longest time, since before she disappeared, and I played multiple scenarios in my head of how it was going to happen, but I never got the chance to do it right. And it certainly wasn't supposed to happen the way it just had.

"Um, I have to go" she said, and picked up the jacket that was folded beside her on the bench.

"Go where? Why were you at the church in the first place?"

Ali ignored my question and started walking towards the door. When she pushed it open, we were both shocked to see Mr. DiLaurentis waiting on the steps outside. He hurried towards Alison and held her face between his palms.

"What happened?"

He looked at me but I had no explanation to give him. He had followed me to the church and knew that I lied.

"Emily, I think it's time for you to go. I'll take care of Alison."

I had nothing more to say. I only had endless questions to ask. Why was Ali at the church, and why was she in the state that she was? And then I felt incredibly selfish when the next question popped into my head… Why didn't she tell me she loves me too?