A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 56: Miz And Punk In The Impact Zone, Part One
"Jeff!" Punk yelled. "Jeff!"
"You can't just walk through here yelling Jeff," Miz said.
"Why not?" Punk asked, turning to Miz.
"Because it's a pretty common name," Miz said, "and you're going to draw attention to us."
"Do you have a better idea?"
"Maybe we ought to find the real Jeff and ask him to help us?"
"What, and tell him we lost his brother somewhere in the Impact Zone?" Punk said. "Sure, Miz, sounds great. Maybe we should tell him we burned down his house and got him fired while we're at it."
"I didn't do either of those things," Miz said, eyeing Punk. "Though you were instrumental in getting him fired…"
"That was a storyline, and it wasn't me," Punk said. "Now are you going to help me find Matt or not?"
Miz shrugged. "I suppose. Hey, what do you mean, it wasn't you?"
Punk looked distracted. "I mean it wasn't me. I was already in the hospital by then."
"Oh."
"Jeff!" Punk yelled. "I think I saw him," he told Miz before he ran down the hall.
Miz followed more slowly. "It would be nice if he didn't draw attention to us," he said.
"He's not very helpful, is he?" Mizbert asked from Miz's pocket.
Miz shushed the Mizmallow. "I don't want anyone to know you're here," he said. "They might think there's something wrong with me."
"Damn. Wasn't him," Punk said, jogging back. "Um, Miz? Why are you talking to your pocket?"
"Never you mind," Miz said to Punk. "Let's just find Jeff and get out of here before someone spots us."
"Hey! Look, mom! It's CM Punk and the Miz!" a kid yelled.
Punk raised his brows at Miz. "You were saying?"
"You guys are coming to TNA?" the kid asked, pulling his mom over to them. "Cool! Can I have an autograph?"
"We're just visiting," Punk muttered. "Come on, Miz, we'd better find…"
They heard a crash from down the hall. Punk winced. "I think we know where to look," Miz said, as they heard a roar from the direction of the crash.
"Oh, dad," Punk said, rolling his eyes heavenward. "Please tell me he didn't go Godzilla on us."
"Sounds like he might have," Miz said. "We'd better get down there."
"Wait! What about my autograph?" the kid asked.
Punk paused. "We're heels. We don't do autographs, kid." He grabbed Miz's arm and started to pull him toward the noise.
"What the hell?" Jeff asked, coming from one of the rooms off the hall. "What are you guys doing in here? Where's Matt?"
"I don't think you want to know," Miz said.
"He wanted milk for his cookies," Punk said. "And he kind of got away from us…"
"My brother is loose in the Impact Zone?" Jeff asked.
"Maybe you should lie," Mizbert said helpfully.
"No!" Miz said.
"He's not?" Jeff asked, confused.
"I wasn't talking to you," Miz told Jeff. "I was talking to Mizbert."
"Who the hell is Mizbert?" Jeff asked.
"I want an autograph!" the kid yelled suddenly.
Miz gave Jeff a pained look. "This probably isn't the best time to tell you about Mizbert."
"It's his talking piece of candy," Punk said. Crash! Roaring and screaming followed the noise. "We'd better get down there. It sounds like it's getting worse. There are very few things that will set Matt off like that."
"Terrific," Jeff said. "I have to work here, you know."
"Not if we don't corral your brother, you don't," Punk said. "He's going to get you fired."
"He wouldn't be the first person to do that," Jeff said.
Punk turned to Jeff. "First of all," he said, "it was a storyline. Get over it. And secondly, it wasn't even me. It was…" he paused, staring at the kid who was watching the three of them with interest, "an evil alien monster from Mars. Now can we please go and find your brother?"
"Matt Hardy is here, too?" the kid asked.
"Maybe you should quit talking, Punk," Miz advised.
"Mom, Matt Hardy is here!" the kid said.
"Yeah," Punk muttered. "Good thinking, Miz."
"What the hell is wrong with you, dude? You're acting like a freak!" The voice came from an opening door down the hallway. A moment later, a man poked his head out. "Hardy? Has anyone seen Jeff?"
Jeff sighed. "I'm right here!"
"Thank God! Can you come get your brother? I think he's on something."
"See, mom? Matt is here!" the kid squealed.
Jeff turned to Punk and Miz. "So help me," he said, "if the dirt sheets start talking about this…" He shook his head and started down the hall with the other two following him. "Where is he, Ken?"
Ken Anderson frowned at Jeff. "In there. What's he on, Jeff?"
"It would take too long to explain," Jeff said.
"Roar!"
Punk nodded to Ken, then pushed past him. "Godzilla! Knock that off!"
"Rar?"
Ken eyed Punk, then Miz before turning to Jeff. "Is there some kind of major labor dispute going on at the 'E?"
"Something like that," Miz said. "Hey, you're friends with Cena, right?"
"Not exactly," Ken said.
"Oh," Miz said. "Huh."
"It's a sore subject," Jeff said.
"Yeah. Uh, so why is CM Punk calling Matt Godzilla?" Ken asked. "And why are Punk and the Miz here, anyway?"
"Long story," Miz said.
"Ow! Don't bite me, Godzilla, or I will smite you!" Punk yelled.
"Rawr!" Matt shrieked.
"Grab him! He's bolting!" Punk said.
"Wha…" Ken got out before Matt ran headlong through the three men standing by the door.
"Damn it, Miz!" Punk said. "You let him get away again!"
"You are not blaming me for this!" Miz said. "You're the one who gave him the damned cookie. If it weren't for that, we'd still be sitting in Jeff's car…"
"Listening to him whine about wanting a cookie!" Punk shot back. "That was an intolerable situation, and you know it!"
"Yeah," Miz said, rolling his eyes, "because this is so much better."