A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 57: Miz And Punk In The Impact Zone, Part Two

"So what do we do now?" Jeff asked, watching as his brother retreated into the crowd.

"We follow him, duh!" Punk said.

Ken stared at Punk. "You're not very pleasant, are you?"

"I don't have to be pleasant," Punk snapped. "I'm the son of God, and dying on a cross freaking hurts. Are you going to help us find Matt or not?"

"What on earth?" Someone down the hall shouted. "Mr. Hardy, you stop that!"

"Rawr!" Matt yelled.

"Oh, God," Jeff said, burying his face in his hands. "This is not happening. This is not happening!"

"What?" Miz said.

"Arrk!"

"Dixie," Ken said, nodding to Dixie Carter as she led Matt back down the hall by his ear.

"Did you lose something?" she asked Jeff, her eyebrows rising.

Jeff looked up from his hands. "Uh, yes. Thanks…"

"Godzilla!" Punk said, seizing Matt's collar. "You have been a very bad dinosaur."

"Maybe you should take this outside?" Dixie suggested. "Before the crowd figures out this isn't some kind of pre-show stunt?"

"Right," Jeff said. "Good idea. Thanks." Dixie nodded and walked away. "Guys? Maybe we ought to get the hell out of here."

"Wait," Ken said. "We've got a tag team match tonight."

"Sorry, man," Jeff said, shaking his head. "I have to go. I'll catch you next week, okay?"

"Sure," Ken muttered.

Punk led a whining Matt out of the room, followed by Miz. "I wish he'd change back already," Miz said.

"Maybe you should offer him some gum?" Punk suggested.

"Gum?" Matt asked, looking at Miz hopefully.

Miz sighed and said, "Great, except I don't have any more."

"I want gum!" Matt wailed.

Miz glared at Punk. "Thanks again."

"You wanted him back," said Punk with a shrug. "Hey, Nero. You want to come take care of this?"

Jeff sighed. "What now?"

"Got any gum?" Miz asked.

"Gum?" Matt repeated.

"Oh dear God, not gum again," Jeff said. "The last time was awful."

"No gum unless you behave," Miz said.

Matt sniffled. "No gum?"

"Don't make him cry," Jeff said. "I can't take that again."

"Hey, Jeff," Miz said. "I'll give you gum if you come out to the car with me, okay? We'll get Betsy and you and he can ride in the big SUV again."

"With Randy?" Matt asked.

"Yep.

"Yay Gum and Betsy and Randy!" Matt paused. "And Sea World?"

"I thought you said he'd forget?" Miz said to Punk.

Punk shrugged. "What do I know? I'm only Jesus."

"Sea World?" Jeff said.

"Betsy's cousin works there," Matt said with a smile. "In the Shamu show. Betsy told me!"

Jeff looked at Miz. "Uh…"

"Don't ask," Miz advised. "We have no idea, either."

Jeff shrugged. "Okay then. Do we have time to detour to Sea World?"

"Maybe," Punk said.

"That's not very positive, is it?" Jeff asked.

"Whatever," Punk said.

"Imma go to Seeaa Wooorld!" Matt sang, laughing. "Seeeeaaa Woooorld, yay!"

"Your brother," Miz said, turning to Jeff, "is a terrible singer."

Jeff grimaced. "I know, I know."

"Seeeaaa Woooorld!" Matt sang loudly, causing the others to wince.

"We should definitely take this outside," Jeff said, watching the crowd as they turned toward the four of them. "We need to get out of here now."

"Way ahead of you," Punk said, smirking. "Come on, Jeff, let's go to the SUV."

"Yay!" Matt said, dancing. "I like the SUV!"

"Don't we all," Miz muttered. "It's going to be crowded, though."

"We'll manage," Punk said. He put an arm around Matt's shoulders and led the elder Hardy outside.

"The rumors are going to be insane," Jeff said to Miz. "You know that, right?"

Miz shrugged. "I can't worry about that right now."

Punk led Matt to the SUV and Miz and Jeff stopped at Jeff's car. "Here," Jeff said, grabbing the cup the fish was in and passing it to Miz. "Make sure Matt gets his fish."

"I'm Jeff!" Matt called from the SUV.

Jeff sighed. "That is getting so old," he muttered.

"I'm a catfish!" Mark yelled.

"So is that," Miz said. He took the fish to the SUV and passed it to Matt. "There you go, kid."

"Did you miss me, Betsy?" Matt cooed to the fish. "Did you? Aw, that's sweet. Betsy said that he missed me lots, and that he was going to bake me cookies, but he couldn't figure out how to turn the stove on."

"Weird," Punk muttered to Miz, who shrugged. "Are you guys ready to get back on the road? I feel like we've been here forever."

"Definitely ready," Jeff said. He slid into the back of the SUV, next to his brother and Mark. Christian, JJ and Randy were squeezed uncomfortably into the back seat.

"Who's idea was this, anyway?" Randy growled. "I can barely breathe back here!"

"Maybe we should rent something bigger?" Jeff suggested.

"If we do that, it's going on your card," Punk said.

"Fine," Jeff sighed. "Take me to the car rental place and I'll rent us something bigger."

"Or we could keep on using your car," Miz said.

Jeff shook his head. "I'd rather rent something huge, thanks. I've already had my car coated in gum and drinks. I don't want to see what else you guys can dish out."

"Fine," Punk said. He turned to Jeff. "Any idea where the nearest rental car place is? I'd put it into the GPS, but it met with an accident."

"Left," Randy muttered. "Left sucks."

Jeff frowned. "Yeah, I can get you to one. Should we rent another GPS?"

"Not if we have to go left," Randy said.

"Right, uh," Jeff said. "No GPS. You guys know where we're going anyway, right? The venue?"

"We can find it," Punk said.

"Sea World!" Matt said.

"And we can find that, too," Miz said.

"Gum!" Matt demanded.

Randy smirked at Jeff and handed over a whole pack of gum to Matt. "Oh God," Jeff muttered. "It's going to be a very long trip."

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A/N: Apologies for how long this chapter took me. I lost my best friend in the middle of writing this chapter and was unable to find a way to continue it as a result. After much struggle and several nights of staring at the words, the block finally broke this morning. I'm hoping this means that I'll be able to finish this story up this month, but who knows? Anyway, thanks for your patience.