Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the slightly changed plotline.
Sorry about skipping a few days, but I kept getting that stupid Type 2 Error again; does anybody know what that's about? And, I was also having trouble deciding how to make the fight go, cuz in canon, Hyde got mad at Eric cuz of something that happened in grammar school, then Jackie got mad at Hyde for telling her middle name, then everyone got mad at Kelso because of beer, then Donna got mad at Jackie when she defended Kelso and called her by her middle name, so Jackie told Eric about Hyde and Donna kissing, which went back to Hyde and Eric's fight, so Donna told Kelso about Jackie thinking Fez kissed better than him, so Kelso got mad at her, then he had to hold the girls back while Hyde and Eric fought, and Fez is the one who ended the fight.
And I was like, how am I supposed to change it; Hyde getting mad at Eric is what started the whole thing, and how was I going to make Hyde mad at both Eric and Fez, while getting Donna and Jackie mad at each other, which would make Kelso end the fight? But, I didn't want Kelso to end the fight, I wanted Fez to, so Kelso had to get mad at someone. It got really confusing.
But, I figured it out and my computer finally started working again, and, even though it's late, at least I got it uploaded :)
So anyway, Hyde finds out about Fez kissing Jackie. Cue the sound of bones breaking...
"UNICEF contribution of thirteen cents will feed a child for a month," Kelso read the back of a UNICEF candy box as he took a seat on the couch. "Man," He said, "Livin' in Africa must be great. Everything's so cheap."
"If you ask me, man," Hyde said, wrapping a loose arm around Jackie's waist, "UNICEF's a scam."
"If we ask you, everything's a scam," Donna snickered.
"Everything is a scam," Hyde muttered.
"Oh, lighten up," Eric said, "Remember how much fun Halloween used to be? Making costumes, trick-or-treating..."
"What is trick-or-treating?" Fez asked as he leaned against the back of the lawn chair.
"Well," Jackie answered, "You put on a costume, you go door to door, and you say 'trick-or-treat', and people give you candy."
"Oh, you got to be kidding me," Fez smiled in disbelief, "They just give you candy?"
"The best part of Halloween is gettin' the crap scared out of you," Eric smiled, "One year I saw 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,' I couldn't sleep for a month."
Everyone stared at him oddly, thoroughly amazed that he had just said that, and he began to glance around nervously.
"They give you candy?" Fez asked as he walked around the lawn chair to take a seat, "Just like that, no strings?"
"Yes, Fez, get over it," Donna laughed a little.
"Hey, guys, you know what?" Jackie smiled excitedly, "My church is doing a haunted house."
Donna scrunched up her face in thought, "I don't think anyone's going to be too scared by a bunch of Episcopalians."
"Unless they have chainsaws," Kelso grinned, "Let's go see 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'."
"No, no, no," Jackie said, "I don't like Texans." She ignored the funny looks everyone sent her, settling further against Hyde, while he just shook his head slightly.
"I know," Eric said, "We can go to Old Maine."
"Our old grammar school?" Donna asked.
"Yeah, sure, you know," Eric said, "A dark, burnt out, boarded up school? Very creepy. You know, we could, we could tell ghost stories."
"Free candy?" Fez asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Even if you're not from this country."
Kelso gave him an annoyed look, "Yes!"
"Hey, why'd they burn down the school anyway?" Donna asked.
"They said it was arson," Jackie said casually, and suddenly all eyes were on Hyde. He didn't notice at first, not facing them, but when he turned his head, he gave them stupid looks.
"What? I was outta town that week," He said in annoyance.
"Hmm," Jackie teased, "How convenient."
He gave a small smirk, pinching her ticklish side, making her squeak and squirm a little, slapping the offending hand.
"So you're telling me," Fez said, and everyone turned to him in annoyance, knowing exactly what he was still going on about, "That if I show up at someone's house and say 'trick-or-treat', they'll give me a free piece of candy?"
"YES!"
"Oh, I don't believe you."
The doorbell rang, and the owner answered, coming face to face with Fez in a Batman costume, excitedly holding up a sack, the others standing far behind him, their faces a mask of boredom and annoyance.
"Trick-or-treat."
A small pause.
"An apple? Where is my candy, you son of a bitch?"
Hyde snickered.
Eric and Donna stared at the movie screen in boredom, listening to the loud, feminine shrieks coming from the speakers.
"Oh, she's very good," Eric mumbled.
"I like her, I hope she lives," Donna mumbled back.
Another shriek.
"Huh. Oh well."
Jackie sucked soda from the cup as she and Hyde stared boredly at the screen, Hyde's arm thrown over her shoulder.
"She deserved it, man," Hyde said, "She had sex. And like all movie sluts before her, she must die."
"Why doesn't anyone just shoot him?" Jackie asked, "I mean, it's Texas. Everyone has a gun."
Kelso flinched as he barely watched the movie, keeping a hand held up over his eyes, Fez sitting next to him, still in his Batman costume, staring intently at the screen.
"Oh, this movie's so lame," Kelso stuttered quietly, his attempt to sound tough ruined before it even began.
"Nooo," Fez moaned when another shriek sounded, "She was about to take her shirt off."
Kelso gave him an odd look before another shriek sounded, and he jumped, covering his eyes again.
"Look at this dump," Fez said, still in his Batman costume as everyone walked around the charred room, looking around with their flashlights, "No wonder Hyde tried to burn it down."
"You know, Fez," Eric said, walking around Fez in a sly manner, "A man died in that fire. A gym teacher. Coach... Smith. Some say his specter still roams the halls to this day."
Hyde, playing along, held his flashlight up to his face, speaking to Kelso in a deep, ghostly voice, "Take a laaap. Give me twenty, walk it oooofff."
He shined the light in Kelso's face for a brief moment before walking off, Kelso glancing around nervously. "Alright, guys, let's just... cut it out, okay. You're scarin' the women."
Suddenly, a window fell shut, and Kelso jumped, pushing Jackie into Hyde as he ran off, shrieking, "Out of my waaaayy!"
"Kelso!" Hyde yelled after him as he helped Jackie stand up right, "It was the window!"
Kelso walked back into the room, glancing around, "Yeah. I knew that."
"Out of my way?" Jackie asked angrily, narrowing her eyes at him, and Hyde grinned at him from beside her.
"No," Kelso said nervously, knowing she would get him back for pushing her, "I didn't say that."
"Yes you did, just before you knocked her over," Fez said.
"No, no," Kelso said, "I was... protecting my best friend's girl."
"Protecting me?"
"Yeah! I was trying to draw the ghost away from you. Ghosts are attracted to movement; that's a scientific fact."
"No! You are an idiot and science is stupid!" Jackie stormed passed him, ignoring Hyde's amused snicker as she excited the room with a, "Donna, let's go."
"Gee, wonder what we're gonna talk about," Donna grinned as she followed Jackie.
Hyde smirked, holding the flashlight up to his face, speaking in a ghostly voice again, "You're doooomed."
"God, I can't believe that moron pushed me out of the way like that," Jackie muttered irritantly as she and Donna walked through the halls.
"Me neither," Donna said, "I figured he'd use you as a human shield."
"He probably would of if Steven weren't there," Jackie mumbled before speaking clearly, "At least Steven protected me. You know the most noble thing a man can do is lay down his life for the woman he loves. Ideally, while she's still young and can remarry."
Donna furrowed her brows at her before rolling her eyes and looking around the room they entered.
CIRCLE
THE BOYS ARE HOLDING FLASHLIGHTS UP TO THEIR FACES AND DON'T LOOK AS MELLOW AS THEY NORMALLY DO
CUT TO ERIC
ERIC: (trying to appear scary) "Then the man said 'Here's your daughter's sweater. She left it in my car last night'. And the woman said 'Why that's impossible. My daughter died ten years ago. Wearing that," (pause) "Very," (pause) "Sweater'."
PAN TO HYDE
HYDE: (giving Eric a stupid look) "So?"
PAN TO ERIC
ERIC: (glancing around) "So... she was dead. And... he gave her a ride. And she was dead!"
PAN TO FEZ
FEZ: (giving Eric an irritant smile) "When I was six, the mayor of our town was hung from a tree. Your story was not scary."
PAN TO ERIC
ERIC: (looking incredulous) "Not scary? The ghost of a dead girl gave 'em her sweater."
PAN TO HYDE
HYDE: (still looking at Eric stupidly; his eyes narrow, making the stupidity of his look increase) "What does a ghost need with a sweater, man?"
PAN TO KELSO
KELSO: (with a dopey, open-mouthed look) "Maybe it's to keep her guts from fallin' out."
PAN TO FEZ
FED: (grinning at Kelso) "You can tell it was not scary because Michael-ina here did not run screaming for the door."
PAN TO KELSO
KELSO: (annoyed) "Hey, where's it written that the guys have to protect the girls, huh? And I'll have you know that the feminine form of my name is Michelle."
PAN TO HYDE
HYDE: (giving Kelso an irritant look) "Look, Michelle, your dumbass self knocked my chick over running away from a window. So I'm gonna hafta come out in favor of saving Jackie." (his face mellows out) "Plus, if I don't, she'll kick me in the shins."
PAN TO ERIC
ERIC: (trying to tell another ghost story) "Okay, so Ichabod Crane lived in the village of Sleepy Hollow."
PAN TO FEZ
FEZ: (grinning at Eric) "Wait, don't tell me. He left his jacket somewhere."
PAN TO ERIC
ERIC: (annoyed, turning off his flashlight) "Okay, that's it, Halloween's over. There's just nothing that scares us anymore." (stands)
DONNA: (voice only) "Hey, guys."
CUT TO DONNA AND JACKIE AS THEY WALK INTO THE ROOM, ENDING CIRCLE TIME.
Donna and Jackie walked in, throwing a stack of folders onto the burnt desk.
"We found something really scary," Donna grinned.
"Yeah, it was in the principal's office," Jackie smiled.
"Oh my God," Eric said, shining his flashlight onto the folders, "Those look like... like..."
"They are," Donna said, "Our permanent records."
"Wow," Kelso said, kneeling down against the desk, holding his flashlight to the records, "Our permanent records. Ah, you know what, they probably left these here after the school burned down."
"Hey," Hyde grinned, grabbing one and walking a little away from the group, "Pinciotti, Donna."
Donna grinned, following him as he opened the record and read through it. "Wehehell," He smirked, "Looks like someone we know had a real hard time keeping their clothes on in kindergarten."
"What?" Donna shrieked, snatching the record from him and going through it. She glanced around, "Whatever. It was just a stupid phase."
"Sure glad that's over," Eric muttered, earning a punch on the arm from Donna.
"Well listen to this," Kelso said as he read through another, "'I fear that despite Steven's high IQ, he is a born trouble maker and is destined to be the smartest man'."
Hyde grinned.
"'In his cell bock'."
"What?" Hyde said in annoyance and Jackie pouted at him sympathetically, rubbing his arm as he snatched the record from Kelso, "They couldn't have known that in second grade." He turned the pages, his brows furrowed, reading, "'Steven willfully and maliciously destroyed Christine Delbuanois' shoe box diorama of the four food groups'."
"You're a monster," Donna teased, "A horrible, horrible monster."
"Yeah, real funny, but I didn't do it," Hyde muttered. He actually remembers being on the other side of the room.
"You know what's really funny, Hyde," Eric said.
"What, Forman?" Hyde mumbled absentmindedly as he flipped through the pages, barely paying attention.
"I broke the diorama."
That got his attention.
He glared at Eric, his tone irked, "You?"
Of course, nature decided this moment was dramatic enough for lightning to hit the second the word left his mouth.
"Hers was better that mine," Eric said dramatically, glancing around, "I had to smash it."
A small pause.
"I left out dairy," Eric pouted.
Hyde closed his record, slowly walking toward Eric with an angry gleam in his eyes, "You know, that's when everyone turned against me."
It really wasn't as dramatic as the other might've of thought. If they thought back to those moments, they would realize that after that girl's project got smashed, all the rumors about him started, and suddenly everyone either hated him or was afraid of him, and, out of anger, he turned into the bad kid everyone made him out to be.
"They pegged me as a bad kid," He continued, "And once that happens, you're labeled forever. You ruined my life, Forman."
"No, he didn't," Fez said, drawing everyone's attention to him, and he glanced around in confusion, "Well, Hyde, your father was not there and your mother was an alcoholic. You were bound to end up in prison sooner or later."
Hyde and Jackie glared at him, and he shrunk back a little, "No offense intended."
"Well, offense taken," Jackie said, "Steven may be a criminal, but that has nothing to do with his tragic home life, it's because Eric was too chicken to take the blame for what he did."
She may have thought she was helping, but really, Jackie trying to help or sound sympathetic is a lost cause before it even begins.
"Oh, I'm a criminal?" Hyde muttered as he walked toward the table, snatching a record, "Well let's see what that file says about you, Jackie."
"Go ahead," Jackie smiled, "I have a perfect record."
Hyde didn't even open it before something caught his eye at the top, and he suddenly grinned, snorting a little. "Is this why you never told me your middle name?"
She suddenly let out a shriek, her eyes widening.
"Would anybody else like to know what Jackie's middle name is?" Hyde teased.
"No!" She shrieked again, pushing him back. And, honestly, she was tiny and could barely even use a manual can-opener, so he could've gotten away at any time, but he knew that sometimes he didn't realize his own strength, and he wasn't gonna take his chances by pushing her back. So, he let her shove him down, smacking him with her flashlight while she yelled at him. He held up his hands in defense, but he was laughing because, again, she was even weaker than Forman, and her hardest hits felt like taps to him.
"Agh, you jerk!" She screamed as she left him on the floor, walking off in annoyance, "Uggghhhh!"
He laid there for a moment, his shoulders shaking with laughter before he lifted himself into a sitting position, leaning back on his hands. He gave her a teasing grin, and she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms, "It's Beulah."
All he got in return were four shocked gasps, and one angry squeal.
Hyde and Eric stared each other down in silence, the sound of an owl the only thing breaking it. Hyde could feel Jackie's eyes on him, most likely pissed at him for revealing her middle name.
"Alright, nobody move," Fez suddenly said, "Somebody took my last box of Sugar Babies."
A small pause.
"Oh, no wait," Fez smiled, "Here they are; I was sitting on them."
"Gee, Fez," Hyde muttered, "You didn't give Forman a chance to pin it on me."
"I didn't pin anything on you," Eric defended.
"No? Well, when Mrs. Hodgekiss was yellin' at me in front of the whole class, you didn't exactly step up and take responsibility. What were you thinking?"
"Hmm, I guess I was thinking 'I'm seven'!"
"Hey, let's not fight, alright," Kelso said, pushing Eric and Hyde apart, "It's Halloween, man, it's time for peace on Earth and good will towards men." He walked toward the desk, grabbing another record, "Look, let's just read another file."
"Yeah, that's been workin' out great so far," Donna muttered.
"Alright, fine," Kelso said irritantly, "I'll read from my own, okay?" He looked at the file, grinning a little, "Ah, okay. Here's a secret you guys don't know about me cuz it happened the year before I moved here. When I was in first grade, I used to wear this red cape to school and pretend I was Superman."
"You must have looked really stupid," Fez snickered, not noticing the way Hyde stared at him as he began fixing up his Batman gloves.
"Wait, wait, first grade?" Eric said, "No, no, no, when you moved here, you and I were in first grade, that's how we met."
"No, we didn't," Kelso said quickly, and Eric shot him a look, snatching the record from him and reading through it.
"Man, you had to repeat the first grade?" Eric said incredulously.
Hyde snickered.
"It was, it was cursive writing, alright," Kelso said defensively, "All those stupid squiggles and bumps. I wouldn't do it."
"You mean you couldn't do it," Hyde grinned.
"No, I wouldn't do it, and that's why they held me back!" Kelso suddenly pouted sadly, "Plus, I may have killed the class bunny..." He suddenly cried out dramatically, holding up his hands, "Why?!"
"It's okay, Kelso, let it out," Fez said sympathetically, rubbing Kelso's back.
"It sucked, you know," Kelso mumbled, "Living this lie, pretending to be a year younger than I really am."
"Wait a minute," Hyde muttered dangerously and Eric, catching onto the tone, backed up slightly, "You're eighteen?"
"Yeah," Kelso said, "That's why I always seemed more mature than you guys."
Hyde didn't even bother to tell him how stupid that statement was. Instead, he focused on what caught his attention and pissed him off. "You're tellin' me," He said, his tone still a bit in the danger zone, "This whole time, you coulda been buying us beer?"
Fez gasped, immediately stepping away from Kelso, "You bastard."
"Wha-no!" Kelso stuttered, glancing around nervously, "It's not what you think!"
"You're dead to me," Hyde said.
"But Eric ruined your life!"
"Yeah, and if I had a beer, I could be gettin' over it right now."
And suddenly everyone advanced on Kelso, the word "Beer" dramatically leaving their mouths. Jackie, feeling a bit sorry for him, ran in front him, holding up her hands.
"Okay, okay, okay!" She said quickly, "Okay, he may be a liar and a moron, but at least he's not a back-stabber like Eric."
"Stay out of this, Beulah," Donna muttered.
"Oh, don't call me that," Jackie muttered, her tone just as dangerous as Hyde's, and Hyde knew something bad was about to happen to Donna.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Beulah."
"Okay, fine," Jackie said casually, "Donna tried to kiss Kelso last year."
"What?" Eric shouted.
"Don't mess with me!" Jackie held up her hands.
"That's not true," Donna defended, "Before we started dating, Kelso tried to kiss me."
"Oh, that is just so much better!" Eric said irritantly, looking at Kelso, "How could you do this, man?"
"It was before you got together!"
"But you knew I liked her!"
Eric looked at Donna, "Were you ever gonna tell me about Kelso?"
"Hurts when your friends stab you in the back, don't it," Hyde muttered.
Eric whipped his head around to face him, "How should I know? I have no friends!"
Donna advanced on Jackie, "You are so dead, Beulah!"
"Bring it, you big red whore!"
"Fine," Donna looked at Hyde, "Jackie kissed Fez last month."
"That is not true!" Jackie yelled, "Fez kissed me! And I pushed him away!"
"What?" Hyde growled, slowly advancing on Fez.
"Ay..." Fez whimpered, backing away, glancing around nervously.
"Wait, wait, wait, Steven," Jackie said urgently, stepping in front of Fez, "It's okay... You know how my unparalleled beauty is too much for someone like Fez to resist. Who could blame him, really?"
"I can," Hyde volunteered with an irritated smile.
"Okay, see, now you know how I feel," Eric muttered.
"I know how I'm gonna make ya feel," Hyde growled, whipping around and advancing on Eric.
"You see what you did, Donna!" Jackie yelled at the redhead.
"Oh, let's go, pal!" Eric shouted, and suddenly everyone's yelling and shouting were jumbled together as Kelso tried to keep Eric and Hyde apart, while Fez tried to do the same with Donna and Jackie. It lasted for about minute before Fez's shout suddenly broke everyone up.
"STOP IT!"
Everyone froze, staring at him, some a bit more predatory than others.
"Can't you see what is happening here?" Fez said, looking at the records, "Those permanent records are tearing us apart."
"Batman's right," Eric said.
"Look what we've become," Hyde muttered.
"We're like animals," Donna added.
"Those files are evil, man," Kelso said.
"We've gotta destroy them," Jackie said.
"But how, Jackie?" Eric said dramatically, and Hyde wondered when their lives became a soap opera, "How?"
"Oh my God," Fez suddenly said, "Now my Sugar Babies really are gone!"
A small pause.
Hyde slowly held up the stolen candy, keeping his face blank as Fez gave him an annoyed look, snatching the box from him.
"Steven, I'm cold," Jackie whined as everyone watched Fez pat the dirt with his shovel, "And this is stupid. We should just burn the files."
"Jackie," Kelso said, "They've already been in a fire. "They can't be destroyed that way."
Hyde rolled his eyes, not bothering to tell Kelso that the files were most likely in a metal bin during the fire, as he dropped the records into the hole, "See you in hell, permanent records."
"Okay, and we've got to swear we'll never speak of this, ever again," Eric said.
"Except the part about Kelso buying us beer," Donna muttered irritantly.
"Yeah, naturally," Eric said, "But otherwise, it's like, this night never happened, okay."
Everyone made sound of agreement before falling into silence.
Suddenly, the sound of a fist smacking against flesh resounded quite loudly throughout the night, followed by a loud shout of pain and the sound of breath being released violently.
"What was that for?" Fez whimpered, rubbing his stomach where Hyde punched him. He shrunk under the glare Hyde gave him.
"That was for kissin' my girl, ya stupid dillhole!"
Fez pouted, rubbing his throbbing stomach and regaining his lost breath as everyone went back into silence once again. Hyde suddenly snorted quietly.
"Beulah."
Eric and Kelso snorted, and Hyde snickered as he held up his arms, Jackie shrieking and slapping his shoulders and arms, leading them away from the group.
"Ugh! I can't believe you!"
Hyde jumped awake, glancing around in confusion. That was both the weirdest and stupidest nightmare he ever had, man. They were just permanent records!
He glanced at his hand, grinning slightly at the sight of a candy box subconsciously being held in his hand.
"Stolen Sugar Babies," He mumbled quietly, reaching over to grab one before a voice stopped him.
"Steven?"
He glanced down, finally noticing the weight on him, seeing Jackie lying on top of him, the two of them piled up on the couch.
"Just a stupid dream," He muttered, letting his arms rest loosely on top of her.
"Oh, okay... Steven?"
"Hm?"
"Are you mad about Fez?"
He sighed, catching her hesitant eyes, "I was mad at him, not you, Jackie. He's my friend; he's not supposed to kiss my girlfriend. But, you did have a point; Fez doesn't have a lot of self-control..."
Jackie grinned at him, "Are you saying my beauty is unparalleled, Steven?"
He gave her an annoyed look.
"You know what you're problem is? You're real cute, so no one ever told you to shut your pie hole."
A small pause.
Jackie grinned again, "So you think I'm cute?"
"Shut your pie hole!" Hyde yelled quietly, his eyes wide in annoyance, but Jackie just grinned again, cupping his face and kissing him.
I somehow feel this was anti-climactic.
Oh well, I'm just happy I finally got it up :)