A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! You're awesome like Miz. ;D
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 61: Miz Goes To SeaWorld, Part Three
Miz and JJ could hear Christian and Randy before they could see them. "Are you sure this is right?" Christian asked.
"Of course it is," Randy said, sounding smug.
"Why are there so many steps? Who puts a bathroom at the top of a ladder, anyway?" Christian complained.
"Don't worry, you're almost there," Randy said.
Miz and JJ looked at one another. "Crap," Miz said, and they ran around the corner to see Randy at the bottom of a ladder that was set against the shark tank, with Christian at the top.
"Rey!" JJ shouted. "Get down!"
"What?" Christian said, squinting in JJ's general direction. "I'm on a one way ladder. The down exit is a slide inside the bathroom."
"Randy?" Miz said. "Did you tell Christian that the shark tank was a bathroom with a slide in it?"
"Yes?" Randy said.
"Why?"
"Well," Randy said, looking thoughtfully up at Christian, who now looked unsure and a little scared, "because when he gets up there, he'll slide down and it won't matter if he goes to the bathroom or not, because the sharks will be eating him." He smiled. "So it's not a lie; it's the truth."
"Orton!" Christian yelled. "You jerk!" He attempted to climb down the ladder, but he missed a step and ended up falling to the floor, flat on his back.
"Are you okay, Rey?" JJ asked the wheezing Christian.
"No. Must kill Orton," Christian said. "Then I'll be okay."
"He'll be fine," JJ said to Miz. "But you might want to get Beth out of here before Rey regains the use of his lungs."
"Good idea. Come on, Randy."
"You never let me have any fun," Randy said, pouting.
"I'll buy you a cookie to bite on. How's that?"
"Cookies don't scream," Orton muttered.
"I worry about you," Miz said.
"Can I bite a tourist?"
"No."
"Aww!" Randy said. "How about a park employee?"
"Maybe," Miz said. "If we get kicked out and it's not your fault."
"What if it is my fault?"
"Then no biting for three days."
Randy gave Miz a horrified look. "Three days? I'll die!"
"Then you'd better hope that we don't get kicked out because if you."
"But that's not fair."
"Sorry, but it's the rules."
"What rules?" Randy asked suspiciously.
"The ones in the handbook," Miz said.
"What handbook?"
"The one about you," Miz said. "Now what do you say we meet the others at the Shamu show?"
"There's a handbook about me?"
"Yes. 'The care and feeding of Randy Orton.' I've got the revised addition, the one that explains how letting you bite theme park people without due cause could be fatal to you."
"But I don't want to die!" Randy whined.
"Okay. Then no biting unless they deserve it. Ask me first. Oh, and stop trying to kill Christian. It's not nice."
"Can I kill Jeff?"
"Matt Jeff or Nero Jeff?"
Randy shrugged. "Either one will do."
"No. You're not allowed to kill anyone in our group."
"Aw, man! That sucks!"
Miz patted Orton's shoulder. "Maybe we can find you someone to torment later."
"Thanks, Miz. You're a good friend."
"Thank you," Miz said. "Look, Matt's up by the tank."
Matt stood by the tank, dangling the cup with Betsy in it over the water. "Hi, Miz!" he said brightly. "I found Betsy's cousin. They're talking about a family reunion next year here at SeaWorld, and they invited me, too!"
"Uh, that's nice, Jeff."
"I don't see Betsy's cousin," Randy said, squinting into the tank.
"Oh, of course not," said Matt blithely. "It's because she's invisible."
"So the fish we came here to see is invisible?" said Jeff, stepping up to the tank to see what the others were doing.
"Oh yes," said Matt, beaming at the fish in the cup. "She has to be, because she's the secret pilot that controls Shamu."
"Uh… huh. Miz, can I talk to you for a second?" Jeff said.
"Sure," Miz said, stepping away from the other two. "Behave yourself, Randy!"
"Aww!" Randy said.
"What's up?" Miz asked Jeff.
"I don't know if you've noticed," he said, "but Matt seems to be getting worse, the further we go."
"He seems the same to me," Miz said. "He hasn't really been Godzilla too much, and we've only had one or two Matthew incidents."
"That may be, but he hasn't been Matt at all. You said sometimes he's himself, and I don't know that I've seen it this entire time I've been with you."
Miz frowned. "You know, I think you're right. Weird."
"It's hard," Jeff said glumly. "I mean, I can tell he's happy being Jeff, but I don't know how I feel about giving up my identity forever so that Matt can have it. I just want him to be normal again."
"I don't know if he'll ever be normal again," Miz said. "I'm not sure he was entirely normal to start with." Jeff glared at him. "But it's the same with any of us. We court head injuries for a living, and I doubt any sane person would do that."
"I'm a dancing sea lion!" Mark said, dancing down toward Randy and Matt.
Jeff glanced toward the three of them, then looked back at Miz. "Yeah, I guess."
There was a commotion near the edge of the pool. Miz turned when he heard a splash, then Matt screamed out, "Betsy! No!"
"What the…" Jeff said. It was all he got out before a streak of silvery grey whipped past all of them and dove into the pool.
"What the hell was that?" Miz said.
Punk joined them by the pool just as JJ and Christian walked up. "An angel. A prophet. A worthy friend."
Christian squinted while Matt continued to wail. "A what now?"
"I know what it was," JJ said. "It was a cat."